Andrew
Jedi Master
Had an interesting experience that I would like to share and perhaps get some comment on if anyone has anything to say about it.
A few years ago I was laying in bed in the midst of waking consciousness and unconsciousness when I stepped out of body and walked out of my room to the bottom of my stair case. There I looked up my stairwell and requested to speak to a higher consciousness then mine - might have even been my subconscious, can't really say. From the top of the stairwell, out of the adjacent room a figure walked out of the door to the top of the staircase. I requested to know why I was here, and the response I got shocked me and was quite unexpected. The figure told me that I was here to "punish myself". After that experience it's left a mark on me ever since and I've been quite curious to its validity. So I recall one time, pondering the experience over, thought about checking the Cass transcripts to see if there was anything that was similar and I was quite surprised.
Here's what I found:
Q: (A) Did anything happen in another life that has caused me problems in this life?
A: The answer is yes, as with all others.
Q: (L) What happened to cause these mental problems?
A: Not mental, emotional.
Q: (L) Can you tell us a little bit about it?
A: Death of a twin in the last lifetime. Farming accident in 1880's.
Q: How did this twin die?
A: Fell off of the ox-driven combine, driven by father. Was decapitated.
Q: (L) Were they male or female twins?
A: Male.
Q: (L) And what were their names?
A: Lucas and Lawrence. Lucas was the one that died.
Q: (L)Where was Mother, as Lawrence, at the time?
A: In the house.
Q: (L) And what kind of emotion has carried over into this lifetime?
A: Her longing is insatiable as she is always "looking for love" due to her loss.
Q: (L) How old was Lucas when this happened?
A: 8 years old.
Q: (L) How many years after this accident did Lawrence live?
A: 22 years.
Q: (L) Have any of the persons of that lifetime returned to interact with her in this life?
A: No.
Q: (L) Not even the twin?
A: Correct.
Q: (A) Emotions are not mental, there is a difference? So, my problems now are emotional and not mental?
A: Your problems are due to maladjustment.
Q: (L) From life to life or just this life?
A: They are the same.
Q: (V) Did she witness the accident?
A: No.
Q: (L) Did she see the body after?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any sense of blame or resentment directed toward her by the parents of that time?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any mental or emotional abuse that took place in that lifetime?
A: Maybe some, but it is not significant.
Q: (L) What steps can she take to resolve this maladjustment?
A: Awareness of the root of the problem.
Q: (L) Is there any other part to this event that would help her?
A: No.
Q: (A) So, all the problems that I had as a child were the result of this?
A: Some seek an environment of "punishment" in an attempt to resolve left-over issues.
Q: (L) Did she have feelings of guilt that her twin had died and she was still alive?
A: Yes, but this was not imposed by others.
Q: (L) Okay, she felt guilt, and sought an environment that would punish her?
A: Close enough for hand grenades.
(would someone mind telling me what this means?)
Q: (L) Where was the farm located that this incident occurred?
A: Near Cannopolis, North Carolina.
Q: (L) Can you give us the family name?
A: O'Brien.
Q: (A) Let me ask this: all of the experiences that I had as a child were caused by this emotion where I was trying to punish myself. I have spent my lifetime
trying to punish myself. Is that right?
A: Close. But remember, the point is, you sought out a environment that you perceived to be restrictive and unforgiving; especially with your father.
Q: (L) Was there other karma with her father in this lifetime?
A: Maybe, but you are the one, Laura, who can best examine these issues.
Q: (L) What about between my mother and myself?
A: Ditto.
When I read that passage, I was just in awe about that individuals experience and how I felt in relation to it. What was even interesting was this individuals initials were AM, those are mine as well.
Anyways, after my own experience then reading this I got to thinking about the possibility of my situation being similar.
1. I've had this longing for "love" for a very long time and search for it constantly to the point it annoys the heck out of me.
2. I have adjustment difficulties with how this world and society works and my place in it.
3. I have very difficult times in relations to my Father and Mother - I often feel they resent having me, well my Mother at least. My Father and I just have a very awkward relationship that I don't know how to bridge. My brothers and I aren't close. I have no family who is close to me. I have no friends. And whats interesting is I feel like I've pushed all of these people out of my life on purpose. The problem I sometimes feel is my difficulty in extending myself emotionally to others, often out of "protection" from getting hurt. But in turn ends up hurting me anyways.
4. Had the punishment vision.
Now I can't verify whether this is my case or not, but I do feel a magnetic pull to what was said here and I resonate with it on some level of my being. However I have no way of discovering whether its factual or not, because I don't have access to past lives. The C's suggested to become aware of the root of the problem, and my question is how does one go about discovering the 'root' of the problem? I just wonder what purpose a life of "punishment" could be and what progress it could attain? If anything I feel like it could just be the slowing down of whatever progress I am capable of making because I'd rather "punish" myself instead. Well I know one things for certain and that is I would very much like this to stop. If anyone has any advice it would be very much appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
A few years ago I was laying in bed in the midst of waking consciousness and unconsciousness when I stepped out of body and walked out of my room to the bottom of my stair case. There I looked up my stairwell and requested to speak to a higher consciousness then mine - might have even been my subconscious, can't really say. From the top of the stairwell, out of the adjacent room a figure walked out of the door to the top of the staircase. I requested to know why I was here, and the response I got shocked me and was quite unexpected. The figure told me that I was here to "punish myself". After that experience it's left a mark on me ever since and I've been quite curious to its validity. So I recall one time, pondering the experience over, thought about checking the Cass transcripts to see if there was anything that was similar and I was quite surprised.
Here's what I found:
Q: (A) Did anything happen in another life that has caused me problems in this life?
A: The answer is yes, as with all others.
Q: (L) What happened to cause these mental problems?
A: Not mental, emotional.
Q: (L) Can you tell us a little bit about it?
A: Death of a twin in the last lifetime. Farming accident in 1880's.
Q: How did this twin die?
A: Fell off of the ox-driven combine, driven by father. Was decapitated.
Q: (L) Were they male or female twins?
A: Male.
Q: (L) And what were their names?
A: Lucas and Lawrence. Lucas was the one that died.
Q: (L)Where was Mother, as Lawrence, at the time?
A: In the house.
Q: (L) And what kind of emotion has carried over into this lifetime?
A: Her longing is insatiable as she is always "looking for love" due to her loss.
Q: (L) How old was Lucas when this happened?
A: 8 years old.
Q: (L) How many years after this accident did Lawrence live?
A: 22 years.
Q: (L) Have any of the persons of that lifetime returned to interact with her in this life?
A: No.
Q: (L) Not even the twin?
A: Correct.
Q: (A) Emotions are not mental, there is a difference? So, my problems now are emotional and not mental?
A: Your problems are due to maladjustment.
Q: (L) From life to life or just this life?
A: They are the same.
Q: (V) Did she witness the accident?
A: No.
Q: (L) Did she see the body after?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any sense of blame or resentment directed toward her by the parents of that time?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any mental or emotional abuse that took place in that lifetime?
A: Maybe some, but it is not significant.
Q: (L) What steps can she take to resolve this maladjustment?
A: Awareness of the root of the problem.
Q: (L) Is there any other part to this event that would help her?
A: No.
Q: (A) So, all the problems that I had as a child were the result of this?
A: Some seek an environment of "punishment" in an attempt to resolve left-over issues.
Q: (L) Did she have feelings of guilt that her twin had died and she was still alive?
A: Yes, but this was not imposed by others.
Q: (L) Okay, she felt guilt, and sought an environment that would punish her?
A: Close enough for hand grenades.
(would someone mind telling me what this means?)
Q: (L) Where was the farm located that this incident occurred?
A: Near Cannopolis, North Carolina.
Q: (L) Can you give us the family name?
A: O'Brien.
Q: (A) Let me ask this: all of the experiences that I had as a child were caused by this emotion where I was trying to punish myself. I have spent my lifetime
trying to punish myself. Is that right?
A: Close. But remember, the point is, you sought out a environment that you perceived to be restrictive and unforgiving; especially with your father.
Q: (L) Was there other karma with her father in this lifetime?
A: Maybe, but you are the one, Laura, who can best examine these issues.
Q: (L) What about between my mother and myself?
A: Ditto.
When I read that passage, I was just in awe about that individuals experience and how I felt in relation to it. What was even interesting was this individuals initials were AM, those are mine as well.
Anyways, after my own experience then reading this I got to thinking about the possibility of my situation being similar.
1. I've had this longing for "love" for a very long time and search for it constantly to the point it annoys the heck out of me.
2. I have adjustment difficulties with how this world and society works and my place in it.
3. I have very difficult times in relations to my Father and Mother - I often feel they resent having me, well my Mother at least. My Father and I just have a very awkward relationship that I don't know how to bridge. My brothers and I aren't close. I have no family who is close to me. I have no friends. And whats interesting is I feel like I've pushed all of these people out of my life on purpose. The problem I sometimes feel is my difficulty in extending myself emotionally to others, often out of "protection" from getting hurt. But in turn ends up hurting me anyways.
4. Had the punishment vision.
Now I can't verify whether this is my case or not, but I do feel a magnetic pull to what was said here and I resonate with it on some level of my being. However I have no way of discovering whether its factual or not, because I don't have access to past lives. The C's suggested to become aware of the root of the problem, and my question is how does one go about discovering the 'root' of the problem? I just wonder what purpose a life of "punishment" could be and what progress it could attain? If anything I feel like it could just be the slowing down of whatever progress I am capable of making because I'd rather "punish" myself instead. Well I know one things for certain and that is I would very much like this to stop. If anyone has any advice it would be very much appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.