Vision of Punishment

[Andrew]

Had an interesting experience that I would like to share and perhaps get some comment on if anyone has anything to say about it.

A few years ago I was laying in bed in the midst of waking consciousness and unconsciousness when I stepped out of body and walked out of my room to the bottom of my stair case. There I looked up my stairwell and requested to speak to a higher consciousness then mine - might have even been my subconscious, can't really say. From the top of the stairwell, out of the adjacent room a figure walked out of the door to the top of the staircase. I requested to know why I was here, and the response I got shocked me and was quite unexpected. The figure told me that I was here to "punish myself". After that experience it's left a mark on me ever since and I've been quite curious to its validity. So I recall one time, pondering the experience over, thought about checking the Cass transcripts to see if there was anything that was similar and I was quite surprised.

Here's what I found:
Q: (A) Did anything happen in another life that has caused me problems in this life?
A: The answer is yes, as with all others.
Q: (L) What happened to cause these mental problems?
A: Not mental, emotional.
Q: (L) Can you tell us a little bit about it?
A: Death of a twin in the last lifetime. Farming accident in 1880's.
Q: How did this twin die?
A: Fell off of the ox-driven combine, driven by father. Was decapitated.
Q: (L) Were they male or female twins?
A: Male.
Q: (L) And what were their names?
A: Lucas and Lawrence. Lucas was the one that died.
Q: (L)Where was Mother, as Lawrence, at the time?
A: In the house.
Q: (L) And what kind of emotion has carried over into this lifetime?
A: Her longing is insatiable as she is always "looking for love" due to her loss.
Q: (L) How old was Lucas when this happened?
A: 8 years old.
Q: (L) How many years after this accident did Lawrence live?
A: 22 years.
Q: (L) Have any of the persons of that lifetime returned to interact with her in this life?
A: No.
Q: (L) Not even the twin?
A: Correct.
Q: (A) Emotions are not mental, there is a difference? So, my problems now are emotional and not mental?
A: Your problems are due to maladjustment.
Q: (L) From life to life or just this life?
A: They are the same.
Q: (V) Did she witness the accident?
A: No.
Q: (L) Did she see the body after?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any sense of blame or resentment directed toward her by the parents of that time?
A: No.
Q: (L) Was there any mental or emotional abuse that took place in that lifetime?
A: Maybe some, but it is not significant.
Q: (L) What steps can she take to resolve this maladjustment?
A: Awareness of the root of the problem.
Q: (L) Is there any other part to this event that would help her?
A: No.
Q: (A) So, all the problems that I had as a child were the result of this?
A: Some seek an environment of "punishment" in an attempt to resolve left-over issues.
Q: (L) Did she have feelings of guilt that her twin had died and she was still alive?
A: Yes, but this was not imposed by others.
Q: (L) Okay, she felt guilt, and sought an environment that would punish her?
A: Close enough for hand grenades.
(would someone mind telling me what this means?)
Q: (L) Where was the farm located that this incident occurred?
A: Near Cannopolis, North Carolina.
Q: (L) Can you give us the family name?
A: O'Brien.
Q: (A) Let me ask this: all of the experiences that I had as a child were caused by this emotion where I was trying to punish myself. I have spent my lifetime
trying to punish myself. Is that right?
A: Close. But remember, the point is, you sought out a environment that you perceived to be restrictive and unforgiving; especially with your father.
Q: (L) Was there other karma with her father in this lifetime?
A: Maybe, but you are the one, Laura, who can best examine these issues.
Q: (L) What about between my mother and myself?
A: Ditto.

When I read that passage, I was just in awe about that individuals experience and how I felt in relation to it. What was even interesting was this individuals initials were AM, those are mine as well.

Anyways, after my own experience then reading this I got to thinking about the possibility of my situation being similar.

1. I've had this longing for "love" for a very long time and search for it constantly to the point it annoys the heck out of me.
2. I have adjustment difficulties with how this world and society works and my place in it.
3. I have very difficult times in relations to my Father and Mother - I often feel they resent having me, well my Mother at least. My Father and I just have a very awkward relationship that I don't know how to bridge. My brothers and I aren't close. I have no family who is close to me. I have no friends. And whats interesting is I feel like I've pushed all of these people out of my life on purpose. The problem I sometimes feel is my difficulty in extending myself emotionally to others, often out of "protection" from getting hurt. But in turn ends up hurting me anyways.
4. Had the punishment vision.

Now I can't verify whether this is my case or not, but I do feel a magnetic pull to what was said here and I resonate with it on some level of my being. However I have no way of discovering whether its factual or not, because I don't have access to past lives. The C's suggested to become aware of the root of the problem, and my question is how does one go about discovering the 'root' of the problem? I just wonder what purpose a life of "punishment" could be and what progress it could attain? If anything I feel like it could just be the slowing down of whatever progress I am capable of making because I'd rather "punish" myself instead. Well I know one things for certain and that is I would very much like this to stop. If anyone has any advice it would be very much appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

[mamadrama]

Andrew,
Have you thought of doing past life regression with a reputable psychic to explore this?

Edit: If you're interested here is a link to the transcripts of Bob Olson's first past life regression
_http://www.ofspirit.com/bobolson22.htm According to his website, OfSpiritdotcom, he is a former skeptic and private investigator who has researched evidence of life after death for approximately eight years. On his website he shares the spiritual insights, experiences and practitioners he has met along his journey. FWIW

 

[Andrew]

Hey Mama thanks for that link.

I have thought about PLR but don't know much about how to find someone capable of doing this, or how much it would cost to have something like that done. Would you happen to know of any directories I could go to to find someone within the California / Riverside county area that offers this?

 

[mamadrama]

There are all sorts of websites for this sort of thing, for example: _http://www.psychic-junkie.com/reputable-clairvoyants-and-psychics.html#myrecommendations but I can't attest to one personally. I think you're going to have to ask friends, research, and look on the websites of well-known psychics like Robert Bruce or well-known researchers in the paranormal like Joe Slate for recommendations. I'll check around too and let you know if I come up with anything further.

 

[Andrew]

Ya will do. I appreciate it greatly.

 

[anart]

And then there is the option of concentrating on this life - of Working to figure out what motivates you, and why, 'now' - what programs are installed, what dissociations occur, what is extant NOW to deal with and learn. I am not saying that past life regression is useless ( I have never done it, so I cannot know) - however I am saying that the life we are living now is the one in which we can affect a change and, often, though not always, chasing after what might have happened 'then' can be as much an escape mechanism as 'lucid dreaming' or 'obe' can be by those who use it as such.

I happen to have had an interaction with a child recently who claims to have memories of me in another life, when this child was 'big before they were little' and when I was in another body - when I was discussing this with them, they would not give many details other than the most basic, and when asked why, they mentioned that now - this life - is where we are and where we can make a difference.

I thought at the time that I could not have put it any better than that. fwiw.

 

[Andrew]

And then there is the option of concentrating on this life - of Working to figure out what motivates you, and why, 'now' - what programs are installed, what dissociations occur, what is extant NOW to deal with and learn. I am not saying that past life regression is useless ( I have never done it, so I cannot know) - however I am saying that the life we are living now is the one in which we can affect a change and, often, though not always, chasing after what might have happened 'then' is as much an escape mechanism as 'lucid dreaming' or 'obe'.


I thought at the time that I could not have put it any better than that. fwiw.

Hey Anart thanks for your input. Ya know somehow I've always had the inclination towards understanding my past lives and what I learned in them, with the thought that it would better help me to understand my current circumstances. But I do believe your right in the sense that the Work is here and now. I've always just thought it would be cool to know, ya know?

Anyways lucid dreaming and OBE's are something that I once strived for but once weird things started to happen I.E. hearing guttural languages in my ears, having visitations, having dark entities proclaim to take me down, etc. etc. I quickly ended that endeavor. Ever since then such experiences seem to just happen on random occasions, and this being one of them. However I had always thought that if one had access, direct access to be exact, to their Sub-Conscious wouldn't we have access to all the knowledge necessary for further growth and development? I mean in the sense don't we already have all the knowledge we could ever need inside of us?

I happen to have had an interaction with a child recently who claims to have memories of me in another life, when this child was 'big before they were little' and when I was in another body - when I was discussing this with them, they mentioned that now - this life - is where we are and where we can make a difference.

Question for you. Did you upon coming into contact with this child notice anything different, or out of the ordinary, more so a connection to this child in their presence? Just curious.

 

[anart]

However I had always thought that if one had access, direct access to be exact, to their Sub-Conscious wouldn't we have access to all the knowledge necessary for further growth and development? I mean in the sense don't we already have all the knowledge we could ever need inside of us?

Of course. If we had conscious access at all times to our subconscious, then we would have no need for lessons at all - BUT - that is not how this 'place' in which we reside seems to work- and we are here, because this is where we FIT. We cannot learn the lessons we NEED to learn if we have the 'teacher's edition' in our hand and can easily look up answers. It appears that the soul's development in this environment is rather dependent on understanding and learning when it is the most difficult thing to do - not on just 'having all the answers when one needs them'.

It seems that this is the real value of this school, the 'no short cut' aspect of it.

It also seems, at this point at least, that the learning must be Worked for - struggling, suffering - Work, for it to be 'real'.

Did you upon coming into contact with this child notice anything different, or out of the ordinary, more so a connection to this child in their presence? Just curious

Any answer to that question would be extremely subjective, thus not worth much in the grand scheme of things. However, as I've slowly begun to 'wake up' ( and I am nowhere near fully awake) I have experienced profoundly deep connections with a few people involved in this Work that have re-defined my understanding of how human beings can interact and what we 'are' - so it is an ever-evolving learning experience, as is everything in this life. I also noticed that what I considered a 'connection' changed considerably as I became more aware of my own machine and of others. Basically, one's impressions are wholly reliant on one's awareness - so - subjectivity necessarily abounds.

At least, that is my current understanding.

 

[Andrew]

Hey Mama found the following website in case your interested as well:

_http://www.hypnosis.edu/

 

[mamadrama]

Thanks, good information to have!

 

[Annette1]

A: Close enough for hand grenades.
(would someone mind telling me what this means?)

I am assuming that you wanted to know the meaning of this phrase; "close enough for hand grenades."

It's another way of saying one is in the vicinity of the heart of the problem. One does not have to be extremely precise when tossing a hand grenade toward a target.

 

[OneSoul]

Andrew, your topic and this discussion reminded me of a couple of things. What you've seen can be an easy or self-fulfilling exercise - I've done it myself and so have many others. It might be something within us or outside of us - a dissatisfaction with the way things are, and the more we learn about how things *actually* are the more dissatisfied we can become. I'm speaking more about the world and what we find there ( here ) but also about ourselves.

Anart has really touched on it, on the necessity of working here but being aware of a greater experience. I have thought of exploring my experiences in earlier lives too, to possibly see a little bit more about my history and attitudes, prejudices, interactions with others, and many other things. Still keeping an eye open to find someone very trustworthy for that bit of work.

Anyway here is what I wanted to post, an excerpt of the Ra material. The questioning was around the subject of healing or balancing overall, both between and within lifetimes. Those sessions brought out the idea that time/space or the metaphysical existence is an analogue of space/time, the world we know. It's "there" in time/space that each sees and considers what is out of balance and chooses what could be pursued in a subsequent life. For me one line described 3D life very well.

Questioner: Is the process in positive time/space identical with the process in negative time/space for this healing?

Ra: I am Ra. The process in space/time of the forgiveness and acceptance is much like that in time/space in that the qualities of the process are analogous. However, while in space/time it is not possible to determine the course of events beyond the incarnation but only to correct present imbalances. In time/space, upon the other hand, it is not possible to correct any unbalanced actions but rather to perceive the imbalances and thusly forgive the self for that which is.

The decisions then are made to set up the possibility/probabilities of correcting these imbalances in what you call future space/time experiences. The advantage of time/space is that of the fluidity of the grand overview. The advantage of space/time is that, working in darkness with a tiny candle, one may correct imbalances.

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I think past life regression could potentially help, but that it's probably never necessary, and it could also potentially harm. The harm part is what Anart mentioned, when someone uses it to "escape", for example as an excuse/rationalization of who and what you are, which can lead into thoughts like it's not "your fault" and that there is little you can do or should do about it.

In other words, I am questioning the usefulness of knowing what happened in another life to cause the issues we're going through today. It may be useful/helpful, but knowing it won't make the issues disappear. So we'd still have to look at the real root of those issues in our mind - not root in terms of what happened that made the issues appear (this is more like the cause / blame for the issue, not the root), but root in terms of what happens inside of our mind/being that creates this issue and allows it to exist and occur. In other words, identify the program and how it works. My thought is, even if you have no idea what happened in a past life (how that program got put in), if you can just trace your programs into your own mind, and address your machine as it is now by observation of what you do and the effects of it on you and others in your environment, you then have the power to change it, and not just superficially, but from the very root of your being.

I think the usefulness of knowing where a program came from may be more in assisting you to identify and understand the program better, but I don't think it is in any way "key" or necessary to identify, understand, and change/get rid of the program/issue.

And I'm not saying it's useless because like the ouja board, it's just another tool that can assist us in our self development. But one possible trap we can fall into is to give up on addressing some parts of our machine because of the assumption that unless we do a past life regression or something similar, we'll never truly be able to address those issues. And I think this is the other side of the "escapism" coin mentioned above. Both amount to finding an excuse to not do the Work, osit.

 

[PepperFritz]

The figure told me that I was here to "punish myself".

I think its important to differentiate between what one "needs" and what one "wants". Your dream has told you what you need to know, which is that you have a self-punishment Program that needs to be identified, observed, and corrected. Natural curiosity would cause anyone to want to know the specifics of the past-life experience that may have led to the adoption of the Program in this lifetime. But is it necessary to know, in terms of the Work? No. It is only necessary to be aware of the Program and be willing to apply the principles of the Work to correct it.

As pointed out by others here, a preoccupation with finding out the details of the past-life experience has the potential to become an impeding distraction. So it is important to realize that you have all the information and tools you need to work on the core issue, in the here and now.

 

[OneSoul]

SAO, I believe you are right about past life regression being potentially parmful as well as maybe sometimes helpful. It certainly isn't anything necessary, since how many people actually seek out that type of exploration? Not a common pursuit. Something very unsettling did happen with an intuitive friend who sought this out, and she does not ever want to go near that again.

At the same time she is the one who told me something her daughter said to her when the girl was very young. She said, "Last time I was the mommy." Though that's more about soul groups and reincarnation, and the way the veil seems to descend over the first few months and years while the memory of that contemplative time persists, rather than the current topic. The core of what's been said here is very helpful, that we do have at our disposal the tools we need to learn these lessons, to know that the service is to others but not to the negation or diminishment of ourselves.