Personal environments; stuff, clutter, negative energies and Feng Shui

[T.C.]

In terms of not being a hoarder, I've had quite a few situations in life that helped.

When I was about 8yrs old, our house was burgled and they took a lot. I was staying at my grandmother's house when it happened and in the morning, my grandmother got the call from my mother to tell her the news.

My aunt happened to be there at the time, and she just sat me down and told me something along the lines of, "It's just stuff. There's no need to get upset over this. It can all be replaced." I'm grateful for that experience and the perspective of my aunt as it turned what was a potentially devastating situation (it was for my mother, and it took her a long time to get over it, resulting in us moving house) into 'no big deal'. My aunt's way of framing it was useful to me.

And then there have been a few other occasions when I've had to downsize because of forced house moves, usually due to family illness. I get ruthless when I'm having a clear out. Having to move from a small house into a one bedroom houseshare was one of the strangest experiences of my life. I pretty much threw away everything.

Like others, I think the main things I don't like the idea of getting rid of are C.D.'s, but even more so my vinyl record collection. I don't have a turntable and haven't played any of them for about seven years. But nearly every single one of those records is 'dear' to me. The time spent going through stacks of records in record shops, finding out ones I might like, taking the pile over to the record player in the corner of the shop and finding three or four gems was a weekly ritual for me in my teens.

A lot of time, energy and money went in to the collection and a lot of joy was gotten from it. And it's very similar with my C.D.'s. But after reading this thread, I can kind of hear the call to face these collections.

I think to have an aim of minimalism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but for me it's more about what's your level of attention in terms of your living space. How much does mess and clutter and untidiness jump out at you and grab your attention, demanding to be dealt with?

We could imagine a scenario of someone living in a place where they have the bare minimum of stuff, but if they leave their clothes on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, every time a letter or bill comes through the door they stack it on a pile of others on their desk, then the minimalism doesn't count for anything.

So I guess it's a question of competence in ordering your living space. Bringing order to your domain, rather than allowing the randomness of chaos to reign.

 

[luc]

I think to have an aim of minimalism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but for me it's more about what's your level of attention in terms of your living space. How much does mess and clutter and untidiness jump out at you and grab your attention, demanding to be dealt with?

We could imagine a scenario of someone living in a place where they have the bare minimum of stuff, but if they leave their clothes on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, every time a letter or bill comes through the door they stack it on a pile of others on their desk, then the minimalism doesn't count for anything.

So I guess it's a question of competence in ordering your living space. Bringing order to your domain, rather than allowing the randomness of chaos to reign.

I think you are onto something here T.C., the aspect of 'order' seems to be important. If you think about it, 'order' is the opposite of 'entropy', and we are trying to fight entropy here, yes? So having a clean and structured ('ordered') environment could be seen as the most direct and most obvious way to fight entropy. 'Clean' and 'structured' doesn't mean 'empty', as you said, I guess there is a huge variety of clean and structured environments, depending on the individual.

This fits in with my experience that cleaning/ordering the house is one of the best remedies when I'm feeling depressed. Instead of hiding under the blanket, I try to do something, usually cleaning dishes, vacuum cleaning, throwing away some stuff etc., and it really helps so much getting out of a dark mood. Maybe it's a case of 'as below, so above' - if the lords of entropy are trying to get us by making us depressed, we can fight back and attack entropy on the most basic level by getting our house in order! Osit.

 

[Ina]

Looking at 'order' and 'chaos' as notions describing my own fluctuating states (material objects expressing emotional content) I find no problem in either. I yearn for harmony but when tables get emptied and cupboards organized I feel as if i got a mental anesthetic combined with deep sadness. I also use hand washing of dishes and floors as a countermeasure and the act of cleansing does bring relief and comfort but.... It is not nearly giving the feeling you get when you go to take a nap in a freshly clanged linen in a clean and ordered room smelling of jasmine knowing that all is and will be well.

 

[Elohir]

This fits in with my experience that cleaning/ordering the house is one of the best remedies when I'm feeling depressed. Instead of hiding under the blanket, I try to do something, usually cleaning dishes, vacuum cleaning, throwing away some stuff etc., and it really helps so much getting out of a dark mood. Maybe it's a case of 'as below, so above' - if the lords of entropy are trying to get us by making us depressed, we can fight back and attack entropy on the most basic level by getting our house in order! Osit.

Looking at 'order' and 'chaos' as notions describing my own fluctuating states (material objects expressing emotional content) I find no problem in either. I yearn for harmony but when tables get emptied and cupboards organized I feel as if i got a mental anesthetic combined with deep sadness. I also use hand washing of dishes and floors as a countermeasure and the act of cleansing does bring relief and comfort but.... It is not nearly giving the feeling you get when you go to take a nap in a freshly clanged linen in a clean and ordered room smelling of jasmine knowing that all is and will be well.

We have here 2 good exemples of our relationship or link with material. Our state of mind, fear, happyness, sadness... generally reflect in objects around us as the clothes we wear, jewelry, households, ordered or messy home....

As we live in 3rd density, the pure material one, we interact all the time with material. In one hand, we put emotion, energy, will in it and then, all these objects send it back to us but not always the way we want and most of the time without us knowing it.
In another hand, we tend to project our inner universe toward our direct environnment. For example, if I'm not in a good mood, cleaning my room could bring me peace as it would clean my spirit in the same time.

When you take a closer look to some books, movies, cultures, philosophies about controlling emotions and appeasing mind, it always brings the notion of calm, order, serenity inside and outside the disciple. I have an interesting and funny picture at home about japanese culture : in a traditionnal house, a woman in wearing a kimono enters a room and see a set with some dishes on the ground. Then she says "what a mess !". The fun here is that there's nothing except this set in the whole room.

I think that we all agree with the fact that it's better choice to medidate in a natural field with the less noise possible that in a crowded street or besides a trafic jam. According to me, order is necessary in a certain measure as we have to find understanding and balance to go forward.

By the way it reminds me a japanese Koan (paradoxal sentences wich make you think different) : "Search for liberty and you will become a slave of your desires. Search for discipline and you will find liberty".FWIW

Anyway, we should be careful about being too much attached to objects. As C's said,

"A: "Passion" does not set one "free," quite the opposite! "

It could mean that passions for objects should be avoided but it doesn't mean that we can't like some objects for what they offer us. It also implies that we must understand what is our personnal connection with it or simply our use of it.

 

[Voyageur]

In terms of not being a hoarder, I've had quite a few situations in life that helped.

When I was about 8yrs old, our house was burgled and they took a lot. I was staying at my grandmother's house when it happened and in the morning, my grandmother got the call from my mother to tell her the news.

My aunt happened to be there at the time, and she just sat me down and told me something along the lines of, "It's just stuff. There's no need to get upset over this. It can all be replaced." I'm grateful for that experience and the perspective of my aunt as it turned what was a potentially devastating situation (it was for my mother, and it took her a long time to get over it, resulting in us moving house) into 'no big deal'. My aunt's way of framing it was useful to me.

And then there have been a few other occasions when I've had to downsize because of forced house moves, usually due to family illness. I get ruthless when I'm having a clear out. Having to move from a small house into a one bedroom houseshare was one of the strangest experiences of my life. I pretty much threw away everything.

Like others, I think the main things I don't like the idea of getting rid of are C.D.'s, but even more so my vinyl record collection. I don't have a turntable and haven't played any of them for about seven years. But nearly every single one of those records is 'dear' to me. The time spent going through stacks of records in record shops, finding out ones I might like, taking the pile over to the record player in the corner of the shop and finding three or four gems was a weekly ritual for me in my teens.

A lot of time, energy and money went in to the collection and a lot of joy was gotten from it. And it's very similar with my C.D.'s. But after reading this thread, I can kind of hear the call to face these collections.

I think to have an aim of minimalism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but for me it's more about what's your level of attention in terms of your living space. How much does mess and clutter and untidiness jump out at you and grab your attention, demanding to be dealt with?

We could imagine a scenario of someone living in a place where they have the bare minimum of stuff, but if they leave their clothes on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, every time a letter or bill comes through the door they stack it on a pile of others on their desk, then the minimalism doesn't count for anything.

So I guess it's a question of competence in ordering your living space. Bringing order to your domain, rather than allowing the randomness of chaos to reign.

Concerning the vinyl records. I had a couple of boxes and some were not mine (passed down), some were good in youth which now might be deemed crappy; some were rare. There was attachment to them, like, well may be one day I'll play them again. It got so ridiculous that I kept moving them around (for like 35 years). In the end I was happy to let them go and had not thought of them until you mentioned vinyl records.

The last part of what you were saying, which luc commented on, the thought concerning "bringing order" (order/entropy), seems a good place to start the reevaluation process. In this respect, spent some time outside this evening organizing things for winter, and was thinking about this work, this order. If you take ones gardening, there are creative principles (which apply to other things too); arrangements, colour, growth, understanding the plants and when they flower and their rotations etc. So a minimalist might be a zen type garden, which has qualities and order, and a traditional or creative garden, which also brings up a creative and nurturing order.

In the house, what paintings (or other) does one have on the walls that balances a space or gives meaning and order (or the opposite)? Things like furniture is different for each, so for me it was always taking an antique table, or what have you, and bringing it back to life and preserving it, bringing out the subtle wood grains, while others might have thrown it away. Do I need it, or does it assist in the order or assist in the disorder? Does it have creative properties, can a use be envisioned? There are so many examples one can make.

As for 'material' things. When young I had left home with basically a backpack; no car. If one is married and has children, this can explode exponentially, and in the West more so with all the things we want to do or are programed to do or have; sporting activities and on it goes. Pretty soon that backpack became a moving van. Looking around today with a closer lens, I realize there is stuff here even from family members that got left; placed here or there in boxes. When I left home as a kid I probable did the same to my parents, left everything behind.

Concerning starting on a more thorough process of de-cluttering. Was also thinking that one can become like an automation throwing things out, OCD-like, without having a conscious approach, even though that takes more time. The danger is overthinking too, 'should I or shouldn't I' throw it out. So I'll start with a balanced approace and see where that goes, yet the question of having order seems a good focus.

 

[T.C.]

The last part of what you were saying, which luc commented on, the thought concerning "bringing order" (order/entropy), seems a good place to start the reevaluation process. In this respect, spent some time outside this evening organizing things for winter, and was thinking about this work, this order. If you take ones gardening, there are creative principles (which apply to other things too); arrangements, colour, growth, understanding the plants and when they flower and their rotations etc. So a minimalist might be a zen type garden, which has qualities and order, and a traditional or creative garden, which also brings up a creative and nurturing order.

The other great thing you learn through gardening is when to rip something out or cut 80% of it right back when it's got out of hand. It'll come back anew, given time.

In the house, what paintings (or other) does one have on the walls that balances a space or gives meaning and order (or the opposite)? Things like furniture is different for each, so for me it was always taking an antique table, or what have you, and bringing it back to life and preserving it, bringing out the subtle wood grains, while others might have thrown it away. Do I need it, or does it assist in the order or assist in the disorder? Does it have creative properties, can a use be envisioned? There are so many examples one can make.

This is where the meaning of things comes into effect. How do you define a table, for example? It's not actually an easy question to answer. It has to fulfil certain criteria that come together in an abstract way, including design, size, function, etc (why is a foot stool not a table?). And then if you're restoring it, it can get to a point where it's more than just a table, which might beg the question, "When does a table become not a table anymore?"

During one of my clearances, I was sorting out the kitchen and in a drawer was a tin opener that my mother had had since I was born (things were really made to last, back then!). I never remembered being alive and this tin opener not being around. I kept it for sentimental reasons, though have since got rid of it. It wasn't just a tin opener, to me. If I still had it, I'd probably put it on my mantle-piece. It held properties like 'enduring', 'faithful', 'reminiscent', 'aesthetically pleasing', and so on.

On my mantle-piece now, I have an old 'shuttle' that was part of machinery in the textile mills. It was designed for something specific, but now it is a decorative ornament. Singer sewing machines often fall into that category, too. I know that 'butcher's block's' are popular garden furniture items for trendy types.

As for 'material' things. When young I had left home with basically a backpack; no car. If one is married and has children, this can explode exponentially, and in the West more so with all the things we want to do or are programed to do or have; sporting activities and on it goes. Pretty soon that backpack became a moving van. Looking around today with a closer lens, I realize there is stuff here even from family members that got left; placed here or there in boxes. When I left home as a kid I probable did the same to my parents, left everything behind.

I lived for a few years with only enough items to fill a van and I preferred it to what I have now. I lamented having to buy furniture and white goods when I moved into my apartment

Concerning starting on a more thorough process of de-cluttering. Was also thinking that one can become like an automation throwing things out, OCD-like, without having a conscious approach, even though that takes more time. The danger is overthinking too, 'should I or shouldn't I' throw it out. So I'll start with a balanced approace and see where that goes, yet the question of having order seems a good focus.

It's all about the 'why': Why are you doing it? If you have a solid 'why' then you can't really err.

 

[casper]

"Collectors' items often have a variety of excuses why not solve things in their homes, some of them are:
- Collected things are financially valuable
- Collected things are emotionally valuable
- Certain things remind you of the past (inability rid of the past)
- Fear of change
-.....

To be able to clean up your home, we must understand that we must first clean up your own mind.
You always need to start cleaning just one room. If we start cleaning all the rooms, at the end of the day we can not see a satisfactory result, and we'll probably be too tired.
But if you choose one room, clean the excess of unnecessary things, wipe the room from dust (washed the floor, windows .....), at the end of the day we'll see a positive result, which will serve as a motivation to continue.

If an item has a financial value, but months standing in the box, (forgotten), sell them.
We often say for certain things, maybe we have to use them. If you think you might want it( need it ), save it, but if you do not use in the coming months, get rid of it.

I think the most difficult to solve things that are emotionally valuable. I chose one, maximum two things that remind me of dear ones, the rest I got rid of, donated. Memories you no one can take (only disease), and do not take up space, gathering dust in your home. :)

 

[T.C.]

"Collectors' items often have a variety of excuses why not solve things in their homes, some of them are:
- Collected things are financially valuable
- Collected things are emotionally valuable
- Certain things remind you of the past (inability rid of the past)
- Fear of change
-.....

Again, I think the 'why' is the issue and blanket statements shouldn't be made.

It's not obvious to me that keeping things of emotional value and things that remind you of the past is a bad thing. Maybe if the ice age hits, carting around all that stuff wouldn't be a very good idea, but while you have four walls and a roof, why not have things around you that make you feel at home and connect you to the past? The past is what made us and it's the journey we took to get where we are, and we shouldn't confuse forgetting about the past with not letting history determine our future.

It's when such practices as collecting become a compulsion or become pathological that there's a problem.

To be able to clean up your home, we must understand that we must first clean up your own mind.

It's a nice theory, and it could be argued for, but I don't know that there's any evidence that this idea is a good starting place. I think if we decided that we needed to sort out our inner world before we could sort out our outer world, we'd be buried under piles of junk in filthy homes.

Also, your idea doesn't take into account obsessive compulsive cleaners. They obviously have a lot of inner problems, but they have no problem cleaning the house for eight hours a day.

Sometimes we need to kick ourselves up the butt and say, "Just DO it", and in the process of doing, we can be sorting out all manner of internal things.

If an item has a financial value, but months standing in the box, (forgotten), sell them.

But if they really do have actual, inherent worth, they might come in handy when TSHTF.

 

[Alada]

Like others, I think the main things I don't like the idea of getting rid of are C.D.'s, but even more so my vinyl record collection. I don't have a turntable and haven't played any of them for about seven years. But nearly every single one of those records is 'dear' to me. The time spent going through stacks of records in record shops, finding out ones I might like, taking the pile over to the record player in the corner of the shop and finding three or four gems was a weekly ritual for me in my teens.

With some music I think it’s what it represents that ought to be considered too. For me a lot of my music collection can be divided in definite chunks of time and the general state or mood I was in at that time (what programs were running the show). So if there’s a choice a to whether to keep or give away a certain album, it’s maybe a good idea to reflect on why we’re keeping it, is it for the music or for the time or state it represents.

If I think back, many albums represent a state or emotional world that I no longer wish to inhabit, times of self-pity and to be honest an unhealthy 'enjoyment' of negative emotions. Though you don’t see it that way at the time. Usually it’s the lyrical content and it’s meaning, or what you ascribe to it that pulls you in and will prolong and keep you stuck in that state, rather than there being a pure musical enjoyment to it.

So with some things, even though they may mean a lot, and represent important moments, letting them go is symbolic of the wish to move on at a deeper level. Having said that, there is still this to consider from earlier in the thread:

A: We have more in mind. Take care with interacting with negative energies.

Q: (L) Well that’s kinda like creating your own reality, isn’t it?

A: Not what we mean… Keep your guard up and do not allow negative energies to slip by… such as believing lies… listening to negative music while thinking it is positive…watching negative movies and thinking it is negligible. It is extremely important to not lie to the self. One can listen or watch many things as long as the truth of the orientation is known, acknowledged, and understood. Clear?

Q: (L) So, in other words: awareness. Calling a spade a spade and not allowing something negative to enter you and believing it is positive. You can see it, perceive it and acknowledge it but not allow it to influence you. Because obviously, you cannot shut off your perceptions of the world, but you can control how it affects you. So, don’t let it inside, thinking it’s something that it’s not.

(Belibaste) So, see it as it is. If it is negative, see it as negative.

(L) Yeah, and they’re saying to focus on truth in order for changes to manifest in you that are positive. That is, “positive” can mean acknowledging that something is negative because it is truth.

Q: (Galatea) Choose the seeds you wish to water.

(L) Is that basically what we’re talking about here?

A: Yes

If were keeping music without having considered the back story of why we have it and what we used it for, then it’s easy for that to still be in the "negative music" category. Negative because it can pull us into a state while our awareness is absent. If In Search of the Miraculous had been written in recent times, maybe we might have read something like this:

In the West where people listen to Radiohead, it often happens that a man becomes so identified with their music that he begins to consider he is Thom Yorke himself. This is not a joke but a fact. He actually becomes Thom Yorke. This is identifying. [...] Identifying is the chief obstacle to self-remembering.

I used to listen to the Pyramid Song for example because I told myself that liked the piano chords and rhythm of it. But play it now and you can feel it draw you towards a certain state, and not a healthy one at that. I think that’s what the Cs were referring to above, so as well as the identification aspect in terms of losing awareness, there’s also the energy drain implication to consider.

Choose the seeds you wish to water.

Edit: Spelling!

 

[casper]

It's not obvious to me that keeping things of emotional value and things that remind you of the past is a bad thing. Maybe if the ice age hits, carting around all that stuff wouldn't be a very good idea, but while you have four walls and a roof, why not have things around you that make you feel at home and connect you to the past? The past is what made us and it's the journey we took to get where we are, and we shouldn't confuse forgetting about the past with not letting history determine our future.

It's when such practices as collecting become a compulsion or become pathological that there's a problem.

A thin line between "collectors" and a sick collection.The accumulation of things in the apartment is a problem, we should know undercut limit.
It often happens that because of the above reasons that I wrote, people unconsciously "ill" of Diogenes syndrome.

To be able to clean up your home, we must understand that we must first clean up your own mind.

It's a nice theory, and it could be argued for, but I don't know that there's any evidence that this idea is a good starting place. I think if we decided that we needed to sort out our inner world before we could sort out our outer world, we'd be buried under piles of junk in filthy homes.

If you do not have a clear mind, we can not even see the problem with collecting things, or cleanliness of your living space, the other people we have to point out.
Practice and repetition of an action, we can make changes in your life, I mean the cleaning. Everyone needs a quiet time for contemplation and reflection or other positive practices such as prayer, meditation, yoga or reading a positive and inspiring reading. This will help you clear your mind and open your subconscious mind positive possibilities. I think that all this can not be done if you are surrounded by clutter.

Also, your idea doesn't take into account obsessive compulsive cleaners. They obviously have a lot of inner problems, but they have no problem cleaning the house for eight hours a day.

Also, there's a thin line between obsessive cleaning and the maintenance of cleanliness.Also, a huge difference.
You said:

Sometimes we need to kick ourselves up the butt and say, "Just DO it",...

How can you recognize the signs that you're in a crowded apartment, if you can not see?

Small help, I do not know what it means acronym TSHTF.
I tried to look here https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,1599.75.html
and there https://thecasswiki.net/index.php?title=Abbreviations
but I have not found.

 

[T.C.]

Small help, I do not know what it means acronym TSHTF.
I tried to look here https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,1599.75.html
and there https://thecasswiki.net/index.php?title=Abbreviations
but I have not found.

It means when "The s**t hits the fan." It's a term meaning when something really bad happens. Often, we use it here to represent ideas like economic collapse, overt implementation of totalitarianism, a revolution of the crazy masses, an ice age, a cometary impact, natural disaster, or a combination of two or more of those, as well as other things.

It can also be used in personal circumstances, but most always in the context of a crisis having happened.

 

[Phill4]

It's not obvious to me that keeping things of emotional value and things that remind you of the past is a bad thing. Maybe if the ice age hits, carting around all that stuff wouldn't be a very good idea, but while you have four walls and a roof, why not have things around you that make you feel at home and connect you to the past? The past is what made us and it's the journey we took to get where we are, and we shouldn't confuse forgetting about the past with not letting history determine our future.

It's when such practices as collecting become a compulsion or become pathological that there's a problem.

I agree with that things with emotional value are good to keep,
The bolded part though is where we can't tell, most people can't tell when they have enough or when there is compulsion, and therefore can't recognize the problem as such; sometimes because, The whole personality is affected by compulsive dynamics. So it is a matter of untangling the dynamic, as untangling the mess.
I guess a good comparison is when one drinks, the more you drink the less you can tell if it is enough or not, until your body or another person lets you know.

 

[casper]

Small help, I do not know what it means acronym TSHTF.
I tried to look here https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,1599.75.html
and there https://thecasswiki.net/index.php?title=Abbreviations
but I have not found.

It means when "The s**t hits the fan." It's a term meaning when something really bad happens. Often, we use it here to represent ideas like economic collapse, overt implementation of totalitarianism, a revolution of the crazy masses, an ice age, a cometary impact, natural disaster, or a combination of two or more of those, as well as other things.

It can also be used in personal circumstances, but most always in the context of a crisis having happened.

Ok :) :) :)
S**t can happen today, tomorrow, for 5, 50 years .....
We can always find an excuse for preservation, storage and collection of unnecessary things that we do not use.

How many things we need to feel safe?
How many things we need to feel happy?
Home should be a place where we collect positive energy, not unnecessary things :)

 

[Ina]

I am deeply grateful for the comments as they have increased my awareness thus starting to explain what I thought unexplainable. As an earth science worker I qlways had to deal with the adjustment of working surrounded by nature most of the time affected by the lowest level of civilization. What I am experiencing everytime is a great difficulty to be efficient as in keep the time and focus. The natural energy is overwelming and in my case i feel like nothing and everything at once. When back in more civilized environments the sense of my own self and its boundaries reappears together with feelings of emptiness insatisfaction unhappiness... At home I try to spend most of my time outdoors but as it happens one gets caught into the burro/cave activities too often. It must be a DNA thing I guess. Nevertheless going back to order and chaos, in my understanding, feng shuei has the role of harmonizing or accommodating one's energy print with the built material environment superimposed or amateurishly 'integrated' with nature.Material order and disorder imply for me 'much' and 'many' and 'detail' and 'high frequency stimulation' .... which mean playing along in a game. Thing is I am learning how to change the rules and feng shuei allows for introspection and observation. I am still digesting the tough philosophical roots though ..

 

[Cleo]

Thanks for this thread. I have been dealing with something related to this topic the past several years, have thought about networking about it a few times. A friend of mine passed close to three years ago and I still have many of her clothes that I don't know what to do with.

Shortly after she passed, her mother asked all of her daughters friends to choose from the many clothes/accessories, the ones of hers we'd like to keep.

Along with being a substitute teacher, she worked at a clothing store for close to 8 years..and had accumulated a lot of nice clothing/accessories working there. Growing up, we'd often clothes shop together as well..something that changed though, especially when we became roommates in our 20's, had bills to pay..

Anyway, just to say the whole situation around her clothes feels kind of heavy.

I've journaled a bit about it, wrote a letter as if to her last year-partly asking her what she'd prefer I do with them. I do wear a few of her clothes, not sure how I should feel about that though. I've talked to family about it and a past counselor..and the consensus seems to be to keep a few cherished items and find homes for the rest. Right now, they're sitting at my parents place in my old room. I moved them back there after taking them with me to the two different places I've moved to this past year...so basically carrying them around with me-where they end up just sitting.

My thought is that I'll donate the few articles I choose not to keep, maybe to a woman's shelter. I might also ask a mutual friend whether her daughter would like them. Something I need to deal with that I keep putting off. Her mother started a monthly quilt group with her colleagues/friends..they made a couple quilts out of some of her beautiful shirts, dresses.