Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[truth seeker]

I wanted to give an update on my EE practice.

A couple of days ago, in my morning POTS session, I heard a very distinct voice in my left ear saying: 'I'll kill you'. This was said with anger in the voice. It was somewhat disturbing, but I noted it and carried on with my breathing. It did not return. I don't know exactly what it was, but I suspect it was an internal program of mine, or even the predator's mind, threatening me. I wondered if it actually came from somewhere outside me, but this I cannot confirm or deny. My left ear hears less well than my right ear.

Yes, I've experienced this as well and think your response was correct.

 

[truth seeker]

Could this have been a past-life experience? I didn't see anything, just heard it, but it sounded like an actual event... I was so shaken I had a severe inflammatory response and had to go for a smoke and pace just to calm down. For almost 2 weeks after I never once did EE or POTS,I kept putting it off except Pipe Breathing here and there. Although this week I've finally started again, just no Beatha.

Was there a historical element to this dream?

To me this sounds as if there were emotions and programs being processed. Perhaps others will have a different take however.

 

[Tigersoap]

It's been a while I haven't reported with EE.
I don't think there were any specific event apart from detox symptoms like feeling flu like symptoms for the past couple of days, a few muscle pains here and there and occasional vivid dreams.

One thing I noticed is that it seems, and my perception of it could be wrong, that there was a slight shift in my being at some point in which I seem to have gained a bit more awareness about my programs when they happen.
It's always a constant tension between two poles, pulling one way and then the other with occasional setbacks but I feel a tiny bit more relaxed about the whole process when it happens.

 

[Tigersoap]

When I first started out with the EE program, I did the whole program every day. Very quickly, within the first week even, I started to feel depressed. Further along I had a total breakdown, and I cut out the baha portion, and only did the rest on Mondays/Thursdays. - But it was like an avalanche, I couldn't stop all these emotions. I got a little scared (or very), so I completely stopped the EE program, I didn't even do the POTS for several months.

Recently I feel strong enough again, to start out, but I have to admit, that I'm scared the same will happen again.That it will overwhelm me. I'm doing the POTS now again, and I'm doing some pipebreath everyday, but I feel a little reluctant in starting the whole program again..

The pots, it has totally changed the way I view the universe. I'm grateful in almost everything I experience in everyday life, like when I take a shower, I'm grateful that I'm even able to have hot running water, and everytime I eat, I'm grateful that I even have food. I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head etc. I'm in a constant state of humbleness (if that's a word) and gratitude.

Sooo, I'm back in business, a little reluctant, and a little afraid, but very grateful, that such a powerful program even exists.

Hi Helle,

I think it's good to that you take it slowly if you feel there is too much to take in/take out, when your emotions are overwhelming in this way, it's better to allow yourself some rest and to take it at your own pace but don't forget that the fear you have is probably your predator's mind making you scared of all these emotions coming up to the surface.
They might seem terrible and scary but they will pass.
Keep us posted when you'll be doing the Baha portion again, it might help if you are having a hard time ;)

 

[Iron]

If anybody of you could give me a clue on how to recognize it definitely, I mean to be 100% sure, I'd be glad for feedback. And maybe, for a reality check, did any of you think when reading of me writing of a connection to Oxajil, that this was an attempt at feeding?

It's been my experience that very often, when we feel a connection with someone, we're seeing in that person a part of ourselves that we're denying, or that is otherwise hidden. Like you said, it can be a form of projection. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and Barbara Hort discusses these things in Unholy Hungers. As long as you're aware of the identification and the projection, it can be helpful for you to see yourself.

Then again, it's very likely that there are all sorts of real connections between group members that we can't "see" - past life connections, fragmented soul unit connections, even just resonance of types. That makes me wonder if both are not connected. When we see something in someone else with which we identify, we ARE seeing some part of ourselves (via resonance of like qualities). The danger is in thinking that it's strictly "out there" or "in that person", and not also in ourselves. That's the danger of projecting our "inner beloved", those soul qualities that lie in wait to be discovered and made manifest!

But... if each and everyone of us is at least in potential, the embodiment of everything that exists, wouldnt that mean that we would find something in every person that would foster a connection?
Or just the names of god that we ressonate the stronger with (even if at present moment such names are denied) that would bring such connections?

 

[RedFox]

I wanted to give an update on my EE practice.

A couple of days ago, in my morning POTS session, I heard a very distinct voice in my left ear saying: 'I'll kill you'. This was said with anger in the voice. It was somewhat disturbing, but I noted it and carried on with my breathing. It did not return. I don't know exactly what it was, but I suspect it was an internal program of mine, or even the predator's mind, threatening me. I wondered if it actually came from somewhere outside me, but this I cannot confirm or deny. My left ear hears less well than my right ear.

Yes, I've experienced this as well and think your response was correct.

I agree with Truth Seeker on this. fwiw following discussions earlier in the thread it seems that this program can act as a way of getting rid of spirit attachments (among other things)....so its equally possible that this is what was happening.

Immediately after I started to hear voices of a lot of people screaming and crying. They were all suffering. Like maybe in a fire, but I can't be sure. But it wasn't part of the dream. It was completely separate to what was happening in the dream but sounded so vivid and real! It shook me to my core, and a huge wave of energy moved up my body so fast that before I knew it, it was at my neck. I immediately pushed it back down and wanted to get the hell out of there.

I remember a few years back (possibly around the time I found the c's?) that I was in an odd dream state after waking up and falling back to sleep one morning. In it everything was black, except for a few people who appeared as if drawn by using lines to define only there features (outline, nose, eyes etc)...each person had a different colour.
One of them approached me and asked me something....I said I couldn't hear him (as happened a lot in these sort of dreams)...he put his hand on the top of my head, and repeated what he said....I heard him this time and it was 'Do you want to see?'
I said yes (not quite knowing what 'see' meant).....and felt a rush of energy around my third eye followed a feeling of wind rushing past me....followed by exactly the same thing you describe...a rush of energy up the body and sense of panic about it....and it got lodged in my throat as I panicked. I felt like I was waking up in a dream...and the panic was that I would (having been reading about UFO's) wake up to find myself face to face with a grey alien or something....I still don't know what that was (other than intense and frightening)....

I think it may be worth dropping the Ba Ha portion of the program if you are doing it. I think whatever it was (in your case) is part of the clearing process, and just doing the POTS every night will help it clear more slowly.
Its possible the old guy is your predators mind, or perhaps an attachment...or neither. But the 'drink' element is interesting (as in drowning out reality).

When I first started out with the EE program, I did the whole program every day. Very quickly, within the first week even, I started to feel depressed. Further along I had a total breakdown, and I cut out the baha portion, and only did the rest on Mondays/Thursdays. - But it was like an avalanche, I couldn't stop all these emotions. I got a little scared (or very), so I completely stopped the EE program, I didn't even do the POTS for several months.

Recently I feel strong enough again, to start out, but I have to admit, that I'm scared the same will happen again.That it will overwhelm me. I'm doing the POTS now again, and I'm doing some pipebreath everyday, but I feel a little reluctant in starting the whole program again..

The pots, it has totally changed the way I view the universe. I'm grateful in almost everything I experience in everyday life, like when I take a shower, I'm grateful that I'm even able to have hot running water, and everytime I eat, I'm grateful that I even have food. I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head etc. I'm in a constant state of humbleness (if that's a word) and gratitude.

Sooo, I'm back in business, a little reluctant, and a little afraid, but very grateful, that such a powerful program even exists.

I've been through something quite similar Helle, only over a longer period of time.....for me it seems that along with depression my health problems seemed to come to the fore front. That's not to say it exaggerated them...I think it just made me more aware of them.
Its only recently that my health seems to be coming back together and I've only just started doing the full program again too. I've been doing the POTS and pipe breathing for over a year though 5 nights out of 7.
So I understand your apprehension.....but I think that if you have been doing the POTS and working on yourself, and as long as you go easy and pay attention you will do ok.

I did the full program twice last week, but did not do it this Monday due to my programs raging away (I'd had a breakthrough on my understanding of self...osit earlier that day)..and staying up late wasting my time on a new computer game....
It is a constant battle....and it seems that I need to remember that every time I take a step forward I need to brace myself for the 'push backwards' that always comes.

 

[ana]

But... if each and everyone of us is at least in potential, the embodiment of everything that exists, wouldnt that mean that we would find something in every person that would foster a connection?

Or just the names of god that we ressonate the stronger with (even if at present moment such names are denied) that would bring such connections?

Is that potencial active in us? Is a conexion possible when we are unaware and ego driven?
Wouldn't a real conexion imply a specific state of consciousness?

Step by step we become more aware of our programs, of how devoid of creativity and freedom we are. Now, maybe a real conexion with other is only possible when consciousness itself and not the ego or identification with the persona is running the show. We are more than we think we are but it is still to be discovered, osit

My effort to awaken cannot be forced.
We are afraid of emptiness, afraid to be nothing, and so we make an effort to be otherwise.
But who makes this effort? I must see that this too comes from my ordinary "I".
All forcing comes from the ego. I must no longer be fooled by an image or an ideal that is impiosed by the mind. I need to accept emptiness, accept to be nothing, accept "what is".
In this state, the possibility of a new perception of myself appears.

The first necessity is to have an impression of myself.
This begins with a shock when the questiobn "who am I?" arises.
For an instant there is a stop, an interval that allows my energy, my attention to change direction, it turns back towards me and the question now touches me.
This energy brings vibration, a note that did not sound untill now.
I feel it. It is an impression I receive, an impression of life in me.
All my possibilities are here.

 

[Gertrudes]

Immediately after I started to hear voices of a lot of people screaming and crying. They were all suffering. Like maybe in a fire, but I can't be sure. But it wasn't part of the dream. It was completely separate to what was happening in the dream but sounded so vivid and real! It shook me to my core, and a huge wave of energy moved up my body so fast that before I knew it, it was at my neck. I immediately pushed it back down and wanted to get the hell out of there.

Its possible the old guy is your predators mind, or perhaps an attachment...or neither. But the 'drink' element is interesting (as in drowning out reality).

I had a similar thought, having been offered a drink in your dream, prior to going through the emotional turmoil you experienced, struck me as being offered an "analgesic to feelings". It was as if you had been given the choice to just push down your feelings further away from the surface, a choice that you chose to ignore.
Just a thought, it could be close to the truth or not.

One thing I noticed is that it seems, and my perception of it could be wrong, that there was a slight shift in my being at some point in which I seem to have gained a bit more awareness about my programs when they happen.
It's always a constant tension between two poles, pulling one way and then the other with occasional setbacks but I feel a tiny bit more relaxed about the whole process when it happens.

Hi Tigersoap,

I recall having read similar accounts from others. It seems that many are experiencing greater clarity about one's own programs. Your increased awareness is a very important step towards visible changes, osit.

I think that our progress in EE is subtle and gradual, and sometimes we don't notice how much we have walked because the path is exactly that, subtle and very gradual. When looking back, however, lets say to one year ago when the program was first put together, it is interesting to see how far we have walked. And I can say that with confidence, after reading so many positive accounts from members, the path was indeed a long one :)

 

[Renaissance]

I had two dreams recently with similar themes, and I think they could relate to EE.

In the first dream I was driving with some friends and we decided to stop at a restaurant for food and socializing. While we waiting at the table one of the guys in the group started being rude and offensive. I let him know it wasn't acceptable and that he had to sit elsewhere, which he did. A little while later another guy then started being aggressive. I told him he had to leave. He walked over to the door, and stopped and started yelling something. I went over to him and calmly told him he had to leave and I saw the first guy come up along side the other. I thought they were both going to try and gang up on me, but the first just took the other out the door with him.

The second dream I was a student who was attending my first day of class. There was a lecturer in a big hall who was chatting with individual students before the class began. There was a packet on my desk that was about pathology and language. Students were invited to make some notes, so I jotted down a couple of things, and then the lecturer asked for people to come up to the podium and talk to the class about what they knew. I raised my hand and went up. I didn't use my notes, but I started to go into many of the things I had learned here. I was getting pretty deep into the subject matter, and the lecturer would make passive aggressive or snide comments as I was talking. The was a co-lecturuer present as well, but she was pretty silent. she seemed interested in the content of what I was saying. When the snide remarks continued, I asked the lecturer to leave. He argued a bit, but eventually left.

I thought these two dreams were interesting and they occured within a couple of days of eachother. Of course they may mean nothing, but I also considered that they could have been a symbolic regection of certain little I's or even attachments leaving.

 

[SeekinTruth]

{...}

I recall having read similar accounts from others. It seems that many are experiencing greater clarity about one's own programs. Your increased awareness is a very important step towards visible changes, osit.

I think that our progress in EE is subtle and gradual, and sometimes we don't notice how much we have walked because the path is exactly that, subtle and very gradual. When looking back, however, lets say to one year ago when the program was first put together, it is interesting to see how far we have walked. And I can say that with confidence, after reading so many positive accounts from members, the path was indeed a long one :)

Yes, I can definitely add that since starting the EE the Work has accelerated, awareness of programs has been taken to a whole new level, and my life has totally changed -- yet again, since I found the Cassiopaean community -- in amazing ways. Compulsive tendencies have been reduced by probably 75%. The list goes on and on.

Looking back at the summer and fall of 2009, it's really a wonder the amount of progress in a short time that got the whole ball rolling for me because of regular practice of EE.

 

[Alana]

I had two dreams recently with similar themes, and I think they could relate to EE.

[...]
I thought these two dreams were interesting and they occured within a couple of days of eachother. Of course they may mean nothing, but I also considered that they could have been a symbolic regection of certain little I's or even attachments leaving.

That can be a possibility, Shane. Before i read this final paragraph of your post with your interpretation, i got the impression that you were able to assert yourself in your dreams and get rid of what you didn't need/want to be around you. To me it read that a part of you inside has had enough and was going to draw the line. The question that popped in my head was whether you are currently in a situation in your life where you feel you need to draw the line but haven't yet, or whether it's a manifestation of a need to assert yourself more in general. Your interpretation however, makes sense too.

A bit related to this, i recently have had repeating dreams where i scream and shout and expressing anger, that i think are the expression of my inner child that didn't have its needs met. A purging of old repressed emotions of sorts.

 

[Turgon]

Immediately after I started to hear voices of a lot of people screaming and crying. They were all suffering. Like maybe in a fire, but I can't be sure. But it wasn't part of the dream. It was completely separate to what was happening in the dream but sounded so vivid and real! It shook me to my core, and a huge wave of energy moved up my body so fast that before I knew it, it was at my neck. I immediately pushed it back down and wanted to get the hell out of there.

Its possible the old guy is your predators mind, or perhaps an attachment...or neither. But the 'drink' element is interesting (as in drowning out reality).

I had a similar thought, having been offered a drink in your dream, prior to going through the emotional turmoil you experienced, struck me as being offered an "analgesic to feelings". It was as if you had been given the choice to just push down your feelings further away from the surface, a choice that you chose to ignore.
Just a thought, it could be close to the truth or not.

I was thinking the same thing about that old man. An attachment or a false 'I'. But I never thought about the drink element in that context before. I understood the idea of him trying to sway me, offering a choice, but I never saw it as being connected to the event. Although that does make a lot sense!

To me this sounds as if there were emotions and programs being processed.

This may be it. Although since then, I really tried to focus on other things other than what happened, but lately had a lot of anger re-surface. But I've been dealing with it in a slightly different way than normal. I've been utilizing it for self-observation. I'll post more about this in another thread though.

 

[Tigersoap]

I think that our progress in EE is subtle and gradual, and sometimes we don't notice how much we have walked because the path is exactly that, subtle and very gradual. When looking back, however, lets say to one year ago when the program was first put together, it is interesting to see how far we have walked. And I can say that with confidence, after reading so many positive accounts from members, the path was indeed a long one :)

Hi Gertrudes,

Yes, it really works underneath, it only takes practice and trust :)
I think that for me, everything has always been in such gradual changes so the EE is perfect as it is :D

 

[Ollie]

I think that our progress in EE is subtle and gradual, and sometimes we don't notice how much we have walked because the path is exactly that, subtle and very gradual. When looking back, however, lets say to one year ago when the program was first put together, it is interesting to see how far we have walked. And I can say that with confidence, after reading so many positive accounts from members, the path was indeed a long one :)

Hi Gertrudes,

Yes, it really works underneath, it only takes practice and trust :)
I think that for me, everything has always been in such gradual changes so the EE is perfect as it is :D

Tigersoap, your comments resonate with me totally, slow and gradual, hardly noticeable, yet there, and E-E (pipe breathing and PotS) perfect as it is. :)

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

I noticed that while I have no trouble breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth during the whole EE, when the meditation begins, I feel I struggle to do so because I naturally want to breathe in and out through the nose. So I generally 'fight' this and stay concentrated on my breathing, which is nice in itself, but I feel like I'm not 'entering' into meditation mode, so busy I am with this struggle. Now, when I choose not to 'fight' anymore and breathe out through the nose instead of the mouth, almost immediately, I zone out or I am in a special state I cannot describe (perhaps a meditative state? I'm not sure.

So, what do you think I should do: fight this 'urge' or give in to it?

I also noticed that when I zone out, it's different now: I used to have no recollection of what was going on, a bit as if I had slept but did not remember my dream. Now, I sort of zone out, but I remember some my thoughts or visions, at least in the first few minutes. Nothing fancy, but it's like I zone out and I have at the same time the recollection of what I thinking about while I'm zoning out. Does that make sense to anyone?