The wave and the work. A divergence of energies

Steph_rivers

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
The work as I know it, is a very personal thing. It differs and is a completely different experience/crucible for every being deciding to dive into the flames. No one struggles with the same “crosses”. This path that I have decided to walk is very scary and painful. One thing I have realized however, is that behind that pain and fear hides the truth. The truth for me has appeared to always be concealed behind my worst fears and pains.

So I’ve dedicated myself to dive into that fire, and every day that I burn in that fear and pain, I start talking to myself. I analyze what it is that is causing this and the memories come a lot clearer. The mind submits easier because all it wants is to “rest”. Past traumas, childhood insecurities growing into adult failures, as I burn in that pain I see that they are lies, because I am re-living them and surviving. And the more I do it the better it gets.

Out of this daily experience, I realize that I feel unstoppable. Maybe up to four to eight hours afterwards. Fear feels less powerful over my mind. Another thing happens, I see endless beauty in plants, animals, and in the eyes of smiling people, especially children. I had to sit down this Sunday at a park and cry because I couldn’t take how beautiful everything was.

Even my friends and family, with their desires to get my attention and draw me in to their “conclusions” about the horrible state of our society and how they’re so angry…. It couldn’t get to me. In fact I realized that they were projecting their insecurities to me, almost as gifts. I have been so in sync with awareness that I can articulate my words correctly without impulsive responses to get a message across to someone in conflict, and create inspiration in them, if they so desired.

I’ve never felt so powerful/ happy (I know I can’t always be happy) in my life. Despite our economy, food, gas, “freedoms” falling apart… I can say that I don’t care what they do!

I wanted to make this point because I think I’m starting to realize that the wave is amplifying BOTH spectrums of “reality” STO and STS… and our bodies (antennas) are receiving whatever frequency we are tuning it to. So even though things are getting worse for the surface material stuff, things are getting better, SO much better internally and in the self! As long as you keep WORKING on the self. I just keep telling myself to “stop giving so much attention to the bad things people/society are doing. Yes, it’s good to know what is going on, but that’s it. Just KNOW, don’t dwell on it. If you do, you have too much stuff to think about and you’re not working on yourself hard enough!”

I know that these methods may not work for everyone, it may not be in their karma, or simply their choices to do so. But I really wanted to share this experience with you all. I believe that removing the toxins from my water, food, and environment has absolutely helped tremendously with getting to where I am with my mind today.

Thanks to this forum, the wave series, and the experiment. You are helping the world. Bring on the apocalypse! :cool2:
 
I’ve never felt so powerful/ happy (I know I can’t always be happy) in my life. Despite our economy, food, gas, “freedoms” falling apart… I can say that I don’t care what they do!

I wanted to make this point because I think I’m starting to realize that the wave is amplifying BOTH spectrums of “reality” STO and STS… and our bodies (antennas) are receiving whatever frequency we are tuning it to. So even though things are getting worse for the surface material stuff, things are getting better, SO much better internally and in the self! As long as you keep WORKING on the self. I just keep telling myself to “stop giving so much attention to the bad things people/society are doing. Yes, it’s good to know what is going on, but that’s it. Just KNOW, don’t dwell on it. If you do, you have too much stuff to think about and you’re not working on yourself hard enough!”

I know that these methods may not work for everyone, it may not be in their karma, or simply their choices to do so. But I really wanted to share this experience with you all. I believe that removing the toxins from my water, food, and environment has absolutely helped tremendously with getting to where I am with my mind today.

Thanks to this forum, the wave series, and the experiment. You are helping the world. Bring on the apocalypse! :cool2:
I also keep working away at inner realizations, asking questions, feeling where things are coming from, reading recommended books, and so on, following the threads as you write about too, Steph_rivers.

Just wanted to say, last two weeks a level of joy increased. In the meditations I do, gardening, interactions with friends. Reading. Helping people. Also I've been following a protocol that drains toxins as well as strengthens, above and beyond my ordinary supplementation of herbs, Vitamins, as a general protocol these last few years.

As you write removing toxins. I remember reading about parasite infestations occuring as a barrier to inner progress in a transcribed session. With a number of us taking Ivermectin at various interviews, it has bearing, perhaps.
 
As you write removing toxins. I remember reading about parasite infestations occuring as a barrier to inner progress in a transcribed session. With a number of us taking Ivermectin at various interviews, it has bearing, perhaps.
Glad to hear about it. It’s exhilarating to say the least to see others benifiting from their own self work/detoxification. I’m sure this is one of many methods we have yet to discover!
 
That's great Steph rivers !
When you can be calm within any kind of storm and see things, other people and yourself exactly as they are.
Just witness without expectatins and taking eveything as lesson/ oportunities to improve yourself.
Keep up the good work and enjoy the ride :flowers:
 
It's been up and down for me, but I agree. The downs can be really down, but the ups can be really high. I guess it's hyperkinetic sensate. And I often can't believe the world is still spinning.

Despite our economy, food, gas, “freedoms” falling apart… I can say that I don’t care what they do!
Yes it's like there's a lot of darkness out here, but you hold onto something inside of you, that inner light.
 
I forget which movie it was that I heard this quote, maybe it was a marvel movie, maybe Dr. Strange.

And it was the we do not defeat out demons, we learn to live above them, or something along the lines. And it reminded me of the harmony of the idea that seeing the dark does not eliminate the light, nor viceversa, finding oneself in a state of joy does not mean one isn't aware of the darkness.

So, it's allowing oneself to be joyous when joy approaches our lives, and accept it and letting it go as it may fade away, but also accepting the dark and sorrow, in the same manner as states of existence that make part of our experience.

And I agree, coming in contact with the material in this forum and beyond, has helped me with that balancing act, not that it has prevented me from being affected by negative emotional states, those are still very present, but it gives me one extra tool to navigate them.

And that has allowed me to better discern when certain responses are better suited, sometimes anger and frustration is the right response, even violence has a place in our life, but not always and not by default. Sometimes the best response is to simply allow oneself to smile and have one's heart be warmed by life. it depends on the context, there's good and bad, and the specific situation that determines which is which.
 
And I agree, coming in contact with the material in this forum and beyond, has helped me with that balancing act, not that it has prevented me from being affected by negative emotional states, those are still very present, but it gives me one extra tool to navigate them.
Navigate them is one great way to put words to it. Yes, definetly just allow them to come and go. I would say letting go of them Is the most difficult part, but awareness has made it much easier to swallow.

I guess it's hyperkinetic sensate.
I would absolutely say so! This was definitely a highlighted definition of what we are experiencing! Maybe we are getting to choose?
 
I feel you. Thats exactly what has been happening to me last months. I remember Cs mentioning about psychic hygiene and what if relationships can be a part of it? When it come to parasitic infestation what are the odds that the source of it may be some of the people we have been holding around? What are the odds that those people are on the same path and are following same protocols? What information are they transmitting beyond words? I also noticed that I personally cannot look at some people because for some reason I find it draining like gravity pull for attention.
 
I think I’m starting to realize that the wave is amplifying BOTH spectrums of “reality” STO and STS… and our bodies (antennas) are receiving whatever frequency we are tuning it to.
Interesting you say that Steph_rivers. I think I've noticed this as well, within myself, and others.

I have never had anxiety attacks in my life, until about 4 weeks ago, emanating from my solar plexus, causing my self worth to drop to nothing. Then a few hours later the complete opposite, and feelings that everything will be ok.

Then there's the behaviour of other people, everywhere as if this is happening to them as well (including my close family) people have far less tolerance, even looking for someone to get mad at.

It's like a war being fought though us, except we now have to choose which one to go with.

I applaud you for the work you have done, and I feel happy for you for what you have achieved so far.
 
I feel you. Thats exactly what has been happening to me last months. I remember Cs mentioning about psychic hygiene and what if relationships can be a part of it? When it come to parasitic infestation what are the odds that the source of it may be some of the people we have been holding around? What are the odds that those people are on the same path and are following same protocols? What information are they transmitting beyond words? I also noticed that I personally cannot look at some people because for some reason I find it draining like gravity pull for attention.
This is something on my mind almost every single day - parasitic relationships. And how to discern what's parasitic and what's just unhealed trauma that needs to be worked through. I agonize over this, actually, because I suspect if I had true discernment my marriage outcome would be different.

And I totally get you on the people who are draining. Sometimes it's very easy, particularly in strangers, to spot the energy drains and that's helped me to be better at cutting ties with people who aren't similarly aligned.
 
The work as I know it, is a very personal thing. It differs and is a completely different experience/crucible for every being deciding to dive into the flames. No one struggles with the same “crosses”. This path that I have decided to walk is very scary and painful. One thing I have realized however, is that behind that pain and fear hides the truth. The truth for me has appeared to always be concealed behind my worst fears and pains.

Yes, that seems to be the case in my experience as well. Below is an excerpt from J. Peterson related to what you wrote:

“In sterquiliniis invenitur”—in filth it will be found. This is perhaps the prime “alchemical” dictum. What you need most is always to be found where you least wish to look. This is really a matter of definition. The more profound the error, the more difficult the revolution—the more fear and uncertainty released as a consequence of restructuring. The things that are most informative are also frequently most painful. Under such circumstances, it is easy to run away. The act of running away, however, transforms the ambivalent unknown into that which is too terrifying to face. Acceptance of anomalous information brings terror and pos-sibility, revolution and transformation. Rejection of unbearable fact stifles adaptation and strangles life. We choose one path or another at every decision point in our lives, and emerge as the sum total of our choices. In rejecting our errors, we gain short-term security—but throw away our identity with the process that allows us to transcend our weaknesses and tolerate our painfully limited lives:

There was a good man who owned a vineyard. He leased it to tenant farmers so that they might work it and he might collect the produce from them. He sent his servant so that the tenants might give him the produce of the vineyard. They seized his servant and beat him, all but killing him. The servant went back and told his master. The master said, “Perhaps they did not recognize him.” He sent another servant. The tenants beat this one as well. Then the owner sent his son and said, “Perhaps they will show respect to my son.” Because the tenants knew that it was he who was heir to the vineyard, they seized him and killed him. Let him who has ears hear. Jesus said, “Show me the stone which the builders have rejected. That one is the cornerstone.”592

Face what you reject, accept what you refuse to acknowledge, and you will find the treasure that the dragon guards.
 
I feel you. Thats exactly what has been happening to me last months. I remember Cs mentioning about psychic hygiene and what if relationships can be a part of it? When it come to parasitic infestation what are the odds that the source of it may be some of the people we have been holding around? What are the odds that those people are on the same path and are following same protocols? What information are they transmitting beyond words? I also noticed that I personally cannot look at some people because for some reason I find it draining like gravity pull for attention.

This would be a great opportunity to observe yourself, I remember the saying that said, more or less, that what bothers you from someone else says more about you than about them.

I agree that there are draining people in this world, and we live around them every day, but the drain requires some form of active dynamic, this is why such people are always on the lookout for attention. Simply looking at someone and finding that exercise draining might be a sign of something else, something inside you that perhaps could use some attention.

Because in that context, IMO, it's not so much what you're seeing in them, but how you're seeing them which causes the drain in you, it's how you react to their presence, or how you react to what they mirror back to you.., if that makes any sense.

Not saying that this is your case, I am merely mentioning it to expand on my point, but I remember once that JBP was talking about how certain people would make certain others shy away from their sight, and it was because they reflected back to them their potential, it reminded them of who they could be but choose not to, and that image is frightful in a lot of cases, and feelings of resentment and jealousy could arise.

But, long story short, I think using these opportunities where you feel like you cannot look at certain people, might be a good opportunity to calmly observe yourself and your reactions and where they come from.
 
This would be a great opportunity to observe yourself, I remember the saying that said, more or less, that what bothers you from someone else says more about you than about them.

I agree that there are draining people in this world, and we live around them every day, but the drain requires some form of active dynamic, this is why such people are always on the lookout for attention. Simply looking at someone and finding that exercise draining might be a sign of something else, something inside you that perhaps could use some attention.

Because in that context, IMO, it's not so much what you're seeing in them, but how you're seeing them which causes the drain in you, it's how you react to their presence, or how you react to what they mirror back to you.., if that makes any sense.

Not saying that this is your case, I am merely mentioning it to expand on my point, but I remember once that JBP was talking about how certain people would make certain others shy away from their sight, and it was because they reflected back to them their potential, it reminded them of who they could be but choose not to, and that image is frightful in a lot of cases, and feelings of resentment and jealousy could arise.

But, long story short, I think using these opportunities where you feel like you cannot look at certain people, might be a good opportunity to calmly observe yourself and your reactions and where they come from.
Hmmm, maybe I am seeing my past self? All the possibilities I could have becomed? What I mean by cant look at certain people is because my attention easily focus on people and I feel like I have to put effort to pull it back or mentally block it. Its like the longer I focus the bigger is the gap for information from other people to enter. My mind sometimes gets impressioned by other people voices or the image they present themselves in. Thats what I mean by gravity pull. What I find draining is that I have to mentally block and move my attention to my body which usually helps. Since it is in my attention now then it is definitely time to consider what does it tell about me and especially that which brings to my attention seeing in other people. Sometimes it seems that I feel other peoples energy, but sometimes it seems as you say I maybe only see a reflection of my self and thats all. What I know for sure is that in the last month my mood, wellbeing and peace of mind have been for the better when I started to communicate less with certain people.
 
Sometimes it seems that I feel other peoples energy, but sometimes it seems as you say I maybe only see a reflection of my self and thats all. What I know for sure is that in the last month my mood, wellbeing and peace of mind have been for the better when I started to communicate less with certain people.
And the interesting thing is that they're not mutually exclusive, I think both can coexist, what you see in others can be reflecting something about you and something you could pay attention to, but it doesn't mean that one should keep certain relationships. But the goal, I suppose, is to leave certain relationships or interactions from a more conscious place, both about the nature of the dynamics and the people that participate in it, and this includes oneself.
 
I wanted to testify to the depth of the similarity of my experience with your experience. The distancing effects of a different vision of reality offers us a potential ignored by many people even if the suffering is there. Your testimony is heartwarming.
 
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