"The Prayer of the Soul" Translations

Bo

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
"All creation" is quite difficult to translate in Dutch. I chose the arguable "al het geschapene". Furthermore, there is a grammatical problem with these two sentences:

That I may know and love
The Holiness of True Existence


Literally translates like this in Dutch:

Zodat ik kan weten en liefhebben
De heiligheid van het ware bestaan


But the right translation would be:

Zodat ik de heiligheid van het ware bestaan
Kan weten en liefhebben


Any suggestions?

Thanks a lot salles for the dutch version!

Zodat ik de heiligheid van het ware bestaan
Kan weten en liefhebben

this one is better imo, because that's how it would be written.(if we take grammar in the equation)

and ''al het geschape'' is perfect, thanks.
 

Erna

The Living Force
I also swapped those two around with the Afrikaans, because in Afrikaans we would use the same sentence structure as you have used with the Dutch.
 

anothermagyar

Dagobah Resident
Here is my Hungarian version:

"A lelek Imaja"

Oh, Isteni Kozmikus Elme
Szent Tudat Minden Teremtoje
Hordozva a szivben
Elme Uralkodoja
Lelek Megmentoje
Elj bennem ma
Legy Mindennapi Kenyerem
Ahogy en adok kenyeret masoknak
Segits gyarapitani tudasom
Minden teremtoje
Tisztitsd meg szemem
Hogy Lathassak
Tisztitsd meg fulem
Hogy hallhassak
Tisztitsd meg szivem
Hogy tudjam es szeressem
Az Igaz Letezes Szentseget
Isteni Kozmikus Elme

This is a suggestion, if anyone has ideas to make better I'm open to learn!
Thank you! :)
 

sitta

Jedi Master
Lucas said:
Tak abym wiedział kiedy jestem zakochany Not Sure If it is good?
Prawdziwa święta egzystencjo

Darek said:
według mnie, chodzi tutaj o inne znaczenie słowa "know", a mianowicie w sensie "rozpoznać/rozróżniać"

Oczyścić moje serce
Tak abym mógł rozpoznawać [czym jest miłość] i kochać

pozdrawiam


Mi się wydaje, że tu chodzi bardziej o rozpoznawanie/rozróżnianie/poznanie Prawdziwego Istnienia oraz miłość do tegoż Istnienia

Oczyść moje serce
Abym mogła rozpoznać/poznać i kochać
Świętość Prawdziwego Istnienia
Boski Kosmiczny umyśle
 

Blacki

Dagobah Resident
sitta said:
Mi się wydaje, że tu chodzi bardziej o rozpoznawanie/rozróżnianie/poznanie Prawdziwego Istnienia oraz miłość do tegoż Istnienia

Oczyść moje serce
Abym mogła rozpoznać/poznać i kochać
Świętość Prawdziwego Istnienia
Boski Kosmiczny umyśle

Mi się wydaje ze jednak nie
Tutaj chodzi O to żeby osoba która używa tej modlitwy

Oczyść Moje Oczy
Tak abym ( ja ) mógł widzieć
Oczyść moje uszy
tak abym ( ja ) mógł słyszeć
Oczyść moje serce
Tak abym mógł rozpoznawać [czym jest miłość] i kochać
Prawdziwa święta egzystencjo
Boży kosmiczny umyśle

Zwracała się do prawdziwej egzystencji bożego kosmicznego umysłu
O oczyszczenie żeby widział TO Co jest teraz a nie żeby go pokochała.
dlatego oczy uszy serce.

A najlepiej nie wchodzić w wątki tylko Ark jak możesz Spytaj się Laury :) wtedy będziemy mieć pewność 100%.
 

Alana

SuperModerator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
spyraal said:
Greek Version:

"The Prayer of the Soul" "Η Προσευχή της Ψυχής"

Oh Divine Cosmic Mind Ω Θείε Κοσμικέ Νου,
Holy Awareness in All Creation Ιερή Eπίγνωση όλης της Δημιουργίας
Carried in the heart Φέρεσαι από την Καρδιά
Ruler of the mind Άρχοντα του Νου
Savior of the Soul Λυτρωτή της Ψυχής
Live in me today Ζήσε εντός μου σήμερα
Be my Daily Bread Γίνε για εμένα ο Άρτος ο Επιούσιος
As I give bread to others Καθώς προσφέρω Άρτο σε Άλλους
Help me grow in knowledge Βοήθησέ με να αναπτύξω Γνώση
Of All Creation Για όλη την Πλάση
Clear my eyes Καθάρισε τα μάτια μου
That I may See 'Ωστε να βλέπω
Clear my ears Καθάρισε τα αυτιά μου
That I may hear Ώστε να ακούω
Cleanse my heart Εξάγνισε την Καρδιά μου
That I may know and love Ώστε να Γνωρίσω και να Αγαπήσω
The Holiness of True Existence Την Ιερότητα της Αληθινής 'Υπαρξης
Divine Cosmic Mind Θείε Κοσμικέ Νου

:)

Hi Spyraal, and thank you for the translation. Good job! and it came out pretty good sounding in Greek too.

One thing that i personally would change, is to replace the words that make the prayer sound like it is addressed towards a male Cosmic Mind. For example, instead of using Νου, we could use μυαλό, and make it sound "neutral", also turn the Ruler and Savior into verbs.

I would change this part a bit too, so it sounds more "active":

//That I may See
...
That I may hear//

See below what i mean (all changes included in your original translation):

Ω Θείο Κοσμικό Mυαλό,
Ιερή Eπίγνωση όλης της Δημιουργίας
Που φέρεσαι στην Καρδιά
Κυβερνάς το Νου
Λυτρώνεις τη Ψυχή
Ζήσε εντός μου σήμερα
Γίνε για εμένα ο Άρτος ο Επιούσιος
Καθώς προσφέρω Άρτο σε Άλλους
Βοήθησέ με να αναπτύξω Γνώση
Για όλη την Πλάση
Καθάρισε τα μάτια μου
'Ωστε να δω
Καθάρισε τα αυτιά μου
Ώστε να ακούσω
Εξάγνισε την Καρδιά μου
Ώστε να Γνωρίσω και να Αγαπήσω
Την Ιερότητα της Αληθινής 'Υπαρξης
Θείο Κοσμικό Mυαλό

What do you think?
 

Juba

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hi Avala,

Nice for Serbian and thanks (no problem to be understood in Croatian and Borsnian lanquage), I just re-edit with complete alphabet and did some minor changes according to Croatian language (respecting original in English version)

"Molitva Duše"

O Božanski Kosmički Umu
Sveta Svijesnosti u Cijelom Stvaranju
Nošen u srcu
Vladaru misli
Spasitelju Duše
Živi u meni danas
Budi moj Dnevni Kruh
Kao što ja dajem kruh drugima
Pomozi mi da rastem u znanju
O Cijelom Stvaranju
Očisti mi oči
Da mogu da vidim
Očisti mi uši
Da mogu da čujem
Očisti mi srce
Da mogu da znam i da volim
Svetosti Pravog Postojanja
Božanski Kosmički Umu


It will be great to have whole Éiriú Eolas program transelated and recorded due to the fact of it's immense importance:)
 

Aiming

The Living Force
Finduilas495 said:
Hello puzzle,

It's funny you should mention exactly those points, because when I did the translation first it was close to what you wrote. Then I gave it some more thought and decided to stick as close as possible to the original wording. But it does sound more poetic your way.

Kind regards,
Finduilas


Hello Finduilas! (nice name by the way! :) It has some touch -and I could be totally off- of Native American names.. and as I'm having some Native American blood flowing through my veins, I'm feeling attracted to it ;) )

Interesting that you initially translated it exactly the way I thought where editing should be done.. Well, I don't know now.. it surely does improve 'the flow' of the prayer..
It also is kind of tricky to translate something as deep as this prayer word by word - as the comveying of meaning is the most essential issue.
And I think the more fluent flow provided by "so dass" sort of fulfills the entirety of this 'work of soul art', so to speak - while I could be totally wrong. Maybe some other German around here could add their comments?
 

Chacara

Jedi
SAO said:
Russian (Русский):

O Божественный Космический Разум
Святое Сознание Всего Создания
Ношенное в сердце
Правитель разума
Спаситель Души
Живи во мне сегодня
Будь мой Ежедневный Хлеб
Как и Я даю хлеб другим
Помоги мне рaсти в знании
Всего создания
Очисти мои глаза
чтоб Я мог Видеть
Очисти мои уши
Чтоб Я мог слышать
Очисти моё сердце
Чтоб я мог знать и любить
Святость Настоящего Существования
Божественный Космический Разум

Any corrections for better word usage much appreciated!

I would suggest a few corrections:

Молитва Души

О, Божественный Космический Разум
Святое Сознание во Всем Творении
В сердце носимое
Властелин ума
Спаситель Души
Живи во мне сегодня
Будь моим Хлебом Насущным
Как и я даю хлеб другим
Помоги мне расти в познании
Всего Творения
Очисть мои глаза
Чтобы я мог(ла) видеть
Очисть мои уши
Чтобы я мог(ла) слышать
Очисть мою душу
Чтобы я мог(ла) знать и любить
Святость Истинного Существования
Божественный Космический Разум
 

spyraal

Jedi Master
Smaragde said:
One thing that i personally would change, is to replace the words that make the prayer sound like it is addressed towards a male Cosmic Mind. For example, instead of using Νου, we could use μυαλό, and make it sound "neutral", also turn the Ruler and Savior into verbs.

[...]

See below what i mean (all changes included in your original translation):

Ω Θείο Κοσμικό Mυαλό,
Ιερή Eπίγνωση όλης της Δημιουργίας
Που φέρεσαι στην Καρδιά
Κυβερνάς το Νου
Λυτρώνεις τη Ψυχή
Ζήσε εντός μου σήμερα
Γίνε για εμένα ο Άρτος ο Επιούσιος
Καθώς προσφέρω Άρτο σε Άλλους
Βοήθησέ με να αναπτύξω Γνώση
Για όλη την Πλάση
Καθάρισε τα μάτια μου
'Ωστε να δω
Καθάρισε τα αυτιά μου
Ώστε να ακούσω
Εξάγνισε την Καρδιά μου
Ώστε να Γνωρίσω και να Αγαπήσω
Την Ιερότητα της Αληθινής 'Υπαρξης
Θείο Κοσμικό Mυαλό

What do you think?

Sorry Smaragde for the late answer but i kind of missed your reply until today, when i decided to revisit the thread and re-read my translation. ;)

Your suggestions make perfect sense to me, and i agree with them whole-heartedly. That is the magic of networking! I think now the translation is
as good and accurate as it can get, and i am very pleased by reading it. So pleased, that i think i will print a copy for my wall after finishing this post.
Thank you for your feedback Smaragde!

:)
 

Jeremy F Kreuz

Dagobah Resident
thanks a lot Sales for the Dutch translation. And I agree with BO that your 'al het geschapene' en 'Zodat ik de heiligheid van het ware bestaan Kan weten en liefhebben' is indeed the better one.


Schoon mijn ogen
Zodat ik kan zien

Why did you use 'schoon' ? I would use 'zuiver'. Just like you use for the 'Clear my ears', (zuiver mijn oren).

jeremy
 
Good point Jeremy. I think 'zuiver' is an attribute typically assigned to sounds. Thus, 'zuiver mijn ogen', although not incorrect, would not be the best translation. I chose 'schoon' in the sense of 'clean'. The other meaning of 'schoon' ('beautiful') doesn't hurt here. But I agree, if one uses 'zuiver mijn ogen', the essence stays the same.

By the way, see here the difficulties in translating 'clear' to Dutch.
 

shijing

The Living Force
I am not quite good enough to translate this on my own, but I had a friend ask a friend, and found a native Chinese speaker who is interested in the metaphysical and was able to translate the prayer into Mandarin. I haven't seen evidence of any Chinese speakers on the forum, but if any exist, please feel free to offer your thoughts. I understand from my friend this was done quite well, and I hope this is useful to anyone who is a native speaker.

靈魂的禱告

神聖的宇宙之心
靈明覺照於萬象眾生
它存在於心性中
是心智的引領者
靈魂的救贖者
今天請駐於我內
成為供給我的養分
當我把這養分給出時
請助我增長對萬事萬物的真知
請清洗我的眼睛
使我能看
潔淨我的耳朵
使我能聽
拂拭我的心
使我能真正瞭解 能深刻去愛
那尊貴的真實存在
神聖的宇宙之心
 

knowledge_of_self

The Living Force
Hi
I wanted to add this in Farci, but unfortunately I’m not good at writing Farci, and don’t have Farci font installed on my computer. But I got help translating it to Farci from my mom, and have written it in Farglish, a common writing style among Persians on the internet. Which is basically the sounds of the words spelled out in English. If there are any Persians here that are able to write it in Farci font or have corrections, by all means share ^^

Daâye Rooh

Ey khodaye hasti bakhsh e zehn
Ey anke az hame khelghat motalei
Ja gerefteh Dar ghalb
Soltane zehn
Najie Rooh
Dar man zendegi kon
Nane roozaneh man bash
Ke man be digaran nan bedaham
Be man komak kon ke dar danesh roshd konam.
dar tamame khelghat
Cheshmham ra pak kon
Ke betavanam bebinam
Gooshhaym ra pak kon
Ke betavanam beshnavam
Ghalbam ra pak kon
Ke betavanam bedooman, va eshgh dashte basham
Taghadose hastie haghighi agahaneh eshgh bevarzam
Ey khodaye hasti bakhse zehn
 

Bo

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
thats awesome Deedlet, i was trying to look for someone who could translate it in farsi, the language itself, I am trying to look for someone who can translate it to the original version, because I want to give it to my parents, maybe it can benefit them.

hmm I was just thinking that perhaps my mother could translate it like this to farsi, I will ask her today.

Teshakor! ( Thank You)
 
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