Darius1234
The Force is Strong With This One
I usually don`t lay my problems at another's feet but this is getting really weird and I just need to know if somebody went to similar things when first starting out on this path.
I already spoke in my first posting about my "experience" and how I am getting my health back. I am happy about it, don`t get me wrong but man... my life although far from normal to that point it is starting to be really out there.
Mentioned that after my experience I was "guided" to articles on cassiopeia.org. One of those were the audio files on Channeling and Exorcism and while I was listening to them certain ideas and phrases made sense and by instinct I entered into sort of trance in which I "revved" energy in my chest area and started pulsating it throughout my body. Apparently I had 6 spirits attached and I got rid of them....
Also the dreams that I`m having since then are wild.
Here are some examples:
- sleep paralysis while being visited by an entity that felt evil, claiming to be my other father (meaning not God) came into my studio and opened my wardrobe then I woke up.
- sleep paralysis while my abusive family came in and they were mocking me, managed to break free from paralysis and as they were running out I released a kind of energy shout and vaporized them.
- this is my "favorite": walking and stumbling upon 3 nigerians while they were pulling a soul out of a white fat lady, one of them looked ashamed, then I fell into a cage with 5 lions (2 white and 3 looking ethereal with patches of black flame), grew claws and fought them off.
Yeah.... and to top it off after this kind of dreams I wake up feeling like I`ve been running a marathon.
But the wildest part is: in the weeks before the "experience" I started getting harassed by random people, my best friend that I had complete trust in started to steal stuff from my apartment, pretty girls working at the places that I shop from giving me the "I want you" look (although I looked like the undead, lol) and then getting butt hurt when I didn`t reciprocated to the point of running smear campaigns against me.
And since then (especially in the last days since joining the forum and started reading Gnosis Mouravieff and started looking into positive disintegration) things have escalated to the point that random ass adults are trying to start fights with me.
Today I was harassed by a bunch of kids.... I mean wtf? I told them to piss off but then the parents, WHO SAW THE WHOLE THING AND WERE LAUGHING, came and started threating me.
I tried to talk to them but they were literally hysterical, so I just moved on.
But what is shocking me the most is the look they have in their eyes and the energy that I feel from them. Some of them, for example the cashier girls, I`ve seen them before when they never had that look and energy.
It`s the same look and energy that my parents had when they were beating and humiliating me. It`s not "I want to kill you", it`s more like "I want to devour you", like they are ecstatic that they are drinking my "milkshake", like feeding from my pain.
To be honest I`m getting to the point than I can`t really dismiss my whole life experience and pretend that this is not happening.
-flick-, I just wanted to escape home and have a normal life but apparently not in the cards! lol
I`m determined to do my best and not give in. I don`t feel afraid. I`ve been living with death at my door for all of my life. I mean at least life got "interesting" and not just painful. It`s like with every shitty thing that keeps being thrown my way I just keep saying: "-flick- it then, let`s dance!"
The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?
Am I feeding STS people with it and should I just zen it out or something like that? lol
Also, did any of you guys went through something similar regarding harassments by random people?
I already spoke in my first posting about my "experience" and how I am getting my health back. I am happy about it, don`t get me wrong but man... my life although far from normal to that point it is starting to be really out there.
Mentioned that after my experience I was "guided" to articles on cassiopeia.org. One of those were the audio files on Channeling and Exorcism and while I was listening to them certain ideas and phrases made sense and by instinct I entered into sort of trance in which I "revved" energy in my chest area and started pulsating it throughout my body. Apparently I had 6 spirits attached and I got rid of them....
Also the dreams that I`m having since then are wild.
Here are some examples:
- sleep paralysis while being visited by an entity that felt evil, claiming to be my other father (meaning not God) came into my studio and opened my wardrobe then I woke up.
- sleep paralysis while my abusive family came in and they were mocking me, managed to break free from paralysis and as they were running out I released a kind of energy shout and vaporized them.
- this is my "favorite": walking and stumbling upon 3 nigerians while they were pulling a soul out of a white fat lady, one of them looked ashamed, then I fell into a cage with 5 lions (2 white and 3 looking ethereal with patches of black flame), grew claws and fought them off.
Yeah.... and to top it off after this kind of dreams I wake up feeling like I`ve been running a marathon.
But the wildest part is: in the weeks before the "experience" I started getting harassed by random people, my best friend that I had complete trust in started to steal stuff from my apartment, pretty girls working at the places that I shop from giving me the "I want you" look (although I looked like the undead, lol) and then getting butt hurt when I didn`t reciprocated to the point of running smear campaigns against me.
And since then (especially in the last days since joining the forum and started reading Gnosis Mouravieff and started looking into positive disintegration) things have escalated to the point that random ass adults are trying to start fights with me.
Today I was harassed by a bunch of kids.... I mean wtf? I told them to piss off but then the parents, WHO SAW THE WHOLE THING AND WERE LAUGHING, came and started threating me.
I tried to talk to them but they were literally hysterical, so I just moved on.
But what is shocking me the most is the look they have in their eyes and the energy that I feel from them. Some of them, for example the cashier girls, I`ve seen them before when they never had that look and energy.
It`s the same look and energy that my parents had when they were beating and humiliating me. It`s not "I want to kill you", it`s more like "I want to devour you", like they are ecstatic that they are drinking my "milkshake", like feeding from my pain.
To be honest I`m getting to the point than I can`t really dismiss my whole life experience and pretend that this is not happening.
-flick-, I just wanted to escape home and have a normal life but apparently not in the cards! lol
I`m determined to do my best and not give in. I don`t feel afraid. I`ve been living with death at my door for all of my life. I mean at least life got "interesting" and not just painful. It`s like with every shitty thing that keeps being thrown my way I just keep saying: "-flick- it then, let`s dance!"
The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?
Am I feeding STS people with it and should I just zen it out or something like that? lol
Also, did any of you guys went through something similar regarding harassments by random people?