Life is getting really weird, really fast....

Darius1234

The Force is Strong With This One
I usually don`t lay my problems at another's feet but this is getting really weird and I just need to know if somebody went to similar things when first starting out on this path.
I already spoke in my first posting about my "experience" and how I am getting my health back. I am happy about it, don`t get me wrong but man... my life although far from normal to that point it is starting to be really out there.

Mentioned that after my experience I was "guided" to articles on cassiopeia.org. One of those were the audio files on Channeling and Exorcism and while I was listening to them certain ideas and phrases made sense and by instinct I entered into sort of trance in which I "revved" energy in my chest area and started pulsating it throughout my body. Apparently I had 6 spirits attached and I got rid of them....

Also the dreams that I`m having since then are wild.
Here are some examples:
- sleep paralysis while being visited by an entity that felt evil, claiming to be my other father (meaning not God) came into my studio and opened my wardrobe then I woke up.
- sleep paralysis while my abusive family came in and they were mocking me, managed to break free from paralysis and as they were running out I released a kind of energy shout and vaporized them.
- this is my "favorite": walking and stumbling upon 3 nigerians while they were pulling a soul out of a white fat lady, one of them looked ashamed, then I fell into a cage with 5 lions (2 white and 3 looking ethereal with patches of black flame), grew claws and fought them off.
Yeah.... and to top it off after this kind of dreams I wake up feeling like I`ve been running a marathon.

But the wildest part is: in the weeks before the "experience" I started getting harassed by random people, my best friend that I had complete trust in started to steal stuff from my apartment, pretty girls working at the places that I shop from giving me the "I want you" look (although I looked like the undead, lol) and then getting butt hurt when I didn`t reciprocated to the point of running smear campaigns against me.
And since then (especially in the last days since joining the forum and started reading Gnosis Mouravieff and started looking into positive disintegration) things have escalated to the point that random ass adults are trying to start fights with me.
Today I was harassed by a bunch of kids.... I mean wtf? I told them to piss off but then the parents, WHO SAW THE WHOLE THING AND WERE LAUGHING, came and started threating me.
I tried to talk to them but they were literally hysterical, so I just moved on.

But what is shocking me the most is the look they have in their eyes and the energy that I feel from them. Some of them, for example the cashier girls, I`ve seen them before when they never had that look and energy.
It`s the same look and energy that my parents had when they were beating and humiliating me. It`s not "I want to kill you", it`s more like "I want to devour you", like they are ecstatic that they are drinking my "milkshake", like feeding from my pain.

To be honest I`m getting to the point than I can`t really dismiss my whole life experience and pretend that this is not happening.
-flick-, I just wanted to escape home and have a normal life but apparently not in the cards! lol
I`m determined to do my best and not give in. I don`t feel afraid. I`ve been living with death at my door for all of my life. I mean at least life got "interesting" and not just painful. It`s like with every shitty thing that keeps being thrown my way I just keep saying: "-flick- it then, let`s dance!"
The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?

Am I feeding STS people with it and should I just zen it out or something like that? lol
Also, did any of you guys went through something similar regarding harassments by random people?
 
Hi @Darius1234

I'm no expert, but I will offer an answer for you.

It sounds like the Channelling and Exorcism audio files you listened to dislodged a few of (or all of) those six entities you say you had attached to you.

They of course won't be too happy about that - having their food source - you - removed.

It may be that the people you are suddenly noticing that have this look in their eyes, and the energy you can sense from them has always been there, but because your awareness has now increased somewhat, you can now detect them.

They may have always been that way.

It could also be an effort of the entities to recover their now lost food source from you.


The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?

Am I feeding STS people with it and should I just zen it out or something like that?

The anger (and any other negative emotion) will be what has been feeding them. Also understand that the entities will try to induce things within you and others around you to keep that anger simmering.

It's really important to address that anger, and deal with it ! It's a chink in your armour.

I hope this can shed some light on this for you :-)
 
Hi @Darius1234

I'm no expert, but I will offer an answer for you.

It sounds like the Channelling and Exorcism audio files you listened to dislodged a few of (or all of) those six entities you say you had attached to you.

They of course won't be too happy about that - having their food source - you - removed.

It may be that the people you are suddenly noticing that have this look in their eyes, and the energy you can sense from them has always been there, but because your awareness has now increased somewhat, you can now detect them.

They may have always been that way.

It could also be an effort of the entities to recover their now lost food source from you.




The anger (and any other negative emotion) will be what has been feeding them. Also understand that the entities will try to induce things within you and others around you to keep that anger simmering.

It's really important to address that anger, and deal with it ! It's a chink in your armour.

I hope this can shed some light on this for you :-)
Yeah it does! Thanks for the swift reply, it`s really crazy making all of this and hearing from someone else really helps.
 
Hi Darius, what you're describing might resonate with this thread : Stress at every turn , from "the swamp" section of the forum, here's the first post :

If all one does is do their job at work, visit with parents, mind their business and go home. Why would stress and negative dynamics seem to always find this person? Does anyone know if this is a spell or a curse? I objectively know it’s very besare how I color inside the lines but have energies come to me like I am breaking the law everyday????
 
I am no expert in this as well, but as far I understand and experience it - if you are on the right path you will get resistance and challenges. Which is good. Let's say the universe doesn't give free lunch. When someone prays for a better life I believe it is usually the opposite what the universe gives so we as individuals may learn, get better and rise to the occasion so to speak. I experience that too, as if certain individuals know our buttons, but it is good. It is so that it could be brought to our attention so we could fill the gap with knowledge and mastery. It's not about what is given but more about what WE DO with what is given no matter what it is. We should keep in mind that being a victim is a choice and victim mentality takes away power from us, the power of response ability to do something about it. Not saying that the last sentence is about you but it is very general that all of us might experience at stages in our lives by letting our guard down to certain degree. Another thing to consider is that it might be that the universe doesn't give us that which we can't handle so every challenge, discomfort, agitation, stress etc can be seen as a gift of power so we could become stronger and knowledgeable through experience. So keep on going. Life doesn't get easier. We become better.
 
Hi Darius, what you're describing might resonate with this thread : Stress at every turn , from "the swamp" section of the forum, here's the first post :
Yes @Darius1234 read through my trials and tribulation😀 see what you can glean from them.

An update, LOCATION can add to negative dynamic/energies. Since I moved south 4 months ago I no longer have sleep possession entities, stress is less, energies lighter and my awareness has grown, albite because I am trying to reduce clutter within and without my life BUT there has to be space proper location to allow from this.

Now I’m not saying buy a one way ticket to never never land but just an update that a location change for me has lessened the negativity in my life. I mean the sleep paralysis entities appear when they want to do that reduction is voluntary not controlled and the only change has been location
 
If I was you a few things…Change the music you listen to Hz frequencies. I changed from hip/hop rap to
When listening to this music I feel a calm over me. Make sure you practice EE at least once a week in a space alone. How about you care less what strangers, narcissists and others with personality disorders and possibly attachments think of you and you sit down and think what you want the next 10 years of your life to look like and where you want to be and do something EVERY day to work towards that goal?!?!?

No more caring about cashiers and street strangers (it’s good to have awareness and know your surroundings) but let’s better your life in a 4th way 3D practical sense and move forward. It may be lonely as you vibrate at a frequency other than the people you know but don’t let the crabs in the bucket pull you down.

I know there has been a huge change in your life especially/spirituality and your soul/being wants to grasp the experience of what has happened to gain knowledge/wisdom but you don’t have to just be the thinking man you can be active and create space maybe at night after meditation to think about what has transpired. Definitely do t deny it but at the same time do t let it engulf you - you have to be able to be above it while integrating in life and learning about this non typical experience use it as a baseline and springboard to create a new better reality for yourself.

(I remember onetime while an entity was on top of me I awakened but didn’t let it know I was awake my midsection was paralyzed but I could use my legs so I mustered up the energy and kicked my leg up the entity flew off and then I saw an orb… after that it was just sleep paralysis but no entities as a defense you can try that tactic. Tough to have a dark entity on you remain calm and out smart it but when you are at rock button you don’t care about fear as much)
 
Also, when the entities appear again try and self remember during. In your head Ty yourself repeat what you see, hear, feel, feel your body your breathing IME this consciousness of body mind and self is a protection the entity can sense your presence and calmness it’s un cooked food to them. I remember onetime I was sleeping on a friends couch and an entity paralyzed me and my head started involuntarily to move back and fourth like an exorcism movie and I thought to myself “hmmm I guess this is what being possessed feels like” right then after that thought the entity went away. The couple I was staying with had some interpersonal problems so there was probably some negative feedings and I was just a left over…Other than what I have said they come when they want and try and do what they want but if I was to use my hunches I would have to say they are an indication and allowed to be in your life as a symbol a symbol that there has to be a change… similar to if you are hanging around friends that do drugs and get arrested and you don’t partake. If you do t change yourself, surrounding, people you will be in trouble eventually as well. They are telling you to change adjust advance just by their presence…They guide you in a way and give you a temperature for where you are at and how you are doing. Use them as a spring board to the bright future you will create for yourself
 
I am no expert in this as well, but as far I understand and experience it - if you are on the right path you will get resistance and challenges. Which is good. Let's say the universe doesn't give free lunch. When someone prays for a better life I believe it is usually the opposite what the universe gives so we as individuals may learn, get better and rise to the occasion so to speak. I experience that too, as if certain individuals know our buttons, but it is good. It is so that it could be brought to our attention so we could fill the gap with knowledge and mastery. It's not about what is given but more about what WE DO with what is given no matter what it is. We should keep in mind that being a victim is a choice and victim mentality takes away power from us, the power of response ability to do something about it. Not saying that the last sentence is about you but it is very general that all of us might experience at stages in our lives by letting our guard down to certain degree. Another thing to consider is that it might be that the universe doesn't give us that which we can't handle so every challenge, discomfort, agitation, stress etc can be seen as a gift of power so we could become stronger and knowledgeable through experience. So keep on going. Life doesn't get easier. We become better.
Yeah, it`s like when I`ve asked I`ve been given the guidance (almost like hand holding) to solve my health problems but now comes part 2: solving my internal landscape with a new set of tools but also a new set of challenges.
I got to nip that anger in the bud! lol
Sheesh... this is all going to fast I can`t barely wrap my head around it.
Thanks for the reply!
 
Also, when the entities appear again try and self remember during. In your head Ty yourself repeat what you see, hear, feel, feel your body your breathing IME this consciousness of body mind and self is a protection the entity can sense your presence and calmness it’s un cooked food to them. I remember onetime I was sleeping on a friends couch and an entity paralyzed me and my head started involuntarily to move back and fourth like an exorcism movie and I thought to myself “hmmm I guess this is what being possessed feels like” right then after that thought the entity went away. The couple I was staying with had some interpersonal problems so there was probably some negative feedings and I was just a left over…Other than what I have said they come when they want and try and do what they want but if I was to use my hunches I would have to say they are an indication and allowed to be in your life as a symbol a symbol that there has to be a change… similar to if you are hanging around friends that do drugs and get arrested and you don’t partake. If you do t change yourself, surrounding, people you will be in trouble eventually as well. They are telling you to change adjust advance just by their presence…They guide you in a way and give you a temperature for where you are at and how you are doing. Use them as a spring board to the bright future you will create for yourself
It`s still hard to wrap my head around this new reality.... like going down the rabbit hole. Lol
I was really thinking about moving form my studio, I mean I spent the worse years of my life here, the daily reminder isn`t great and hearing from you that moving helped it points me in the right direction.
Thank you for taking the time to reply and also for the thread from "the swamp", feels like you did the heavy lifting for me. :)
 
It`s still hard to wrap my head around this new reality.... like going down the rabbit hole. Lol
I was really thinking about moving form my studio, I mean I spent the worse years of my life here, the daily reminder isn`t great and hearing from you that moving helped it points me in the right direction.
Thank you for taking the time to reply and also for the thread from "the swamp", feels like you did the heavy lifting for me. :)

You don’t have to wrap your head around it in totality just know enough from it to move forward and as you read more, network more and go through more life experiences the rest will come in time. Don’t push it away by trying to classify what you don’t understand leave space to receive it and do t be so concerned with strangers and people you don’t know and who don’t know you.
 
Yeah, it`s like when I`ve asked I`ve been given the guidance (almost like hand holding) to solve my health problems but now comes part 2: solving my internal landscape with a new set of tools but also a new set of challenges.
I got to nip that anger in the bud! lol
Sheesh... this is all going to fast I can`t barely wrap my head around it.
Thanks for the reply!

Dealing with anger can be a tricky one. I found Gabor Mate's book When the Body Says No to be a really good read for understanding how rejecting our emotional responses can be a big factor to all kinds of pretty serious physical illness, like MS and cancers. This is due to the fact that our emotions directly modulate the immune system.

I learned a lot from his discussion of anger. There are two generally unhealthy modes of anger. One is to repress it, or bottle it up, trying to appease others at the expense of our own authenticity. This can cause us to turn the anger inward against ourselves, called 'acting in'. Another is to over-express it, or blow your top, getting angry automatically and very often at small and trivial things - 'acting out'. Do you feel like you can relate to either of these?

He also says that the third healthy expression of anger is to use it to defend ourselves when someone violates our boundaries, invades our personal space, is consistently rude or disrespectful, etc. The trick on this planet seems to be able to strike this balance between the two extremes and be able to deploy what's called 'healthy aggression' when it's called for. So anger has everything to do with healthy boundaries.

The term 'healthy aggression' comes from the book Healing Developmental Trauma, which is a super difficult but really enlightening read. Difficult not because it's technical, but because it's real hard not to see all of our unpleasant traumatic programs staring out at us, page after page! I also like this book because it gives some exercises to do in order to help ground the emotions in the body and allow them to express without getting lost in the thought-loops of mental analysis world.
 
Hi Darius1234,

Sometimes, when we have powerful experiences that change our perspective or have a big impact in our lives, we can start projecting our own fears and unresolved issues outside of ourselves, and that can distract us from dealing with what we have to resolve within us.

Now, I'm not dismissing what you have shared with us or saying that it isn't real. I'm just wondering if some part of you could be projecting the conflict within to the world outside. Also, if this is the case, there's nothing to be ashamed of as we all do this sometimes and to different degrees. It might not be your case at all, but I wanted to mention it because it might be helpful to recognize it if you can see some projection happening and maybe ground yourself as much as you can so that you can see those situations you describe with more clarity. Maybe some prayers can help with this too?

It seems that you have indeed gone through a lot, so kudos to you for coming this far. Have you ever tried therapies that help deal with trauma?
 
Dealing with anger can be a tricky one. I found Gabor Mate's book When the Body Says No to be a really good read for understanding how rejecting our emotional responses can be a big factor to all kinds of pretty serious physical illness, like MS and cancers. This is due to the fact that our emotions directly modulate the immune system.

I learned a lot from his discussion of anger. There are two generally unhealthy modes of anger. One is to repress it, or bottle it up, trying to appease others at the expense of our own authenticity. This can cause us to turn the anger inward against ourselves, called 'acting in'. Another is to over-express it, or blow your top, getting angry automatically and very often at small and trivial things - 'acting out'. Do you feel like you can relate to either of these?

He also says that the third healthy expression of anger is to use it to defend ourselves when someone violates our boundaries, invades our personal space, is consistently rude or disrespectful, etc. The trick on this planet seems to be able to strike this balance between the two extremes and be able to deploy what's called 'healthy aggression' when it's called for. So anger has everything to do with healthy boundaries.

The term 'healthy aggression' comes from the book Healing Developmental Trauma, which is a super difficult but really enlightening read. Difficult not because it's technical, but because it's real hard not to see all of our unpleasant traumatic programs staring out at us, page after page! I also like this book because it gives some exercises to do in order to help ground the emotions in the body and allow them to express without getting lost in the thought-loops of mental analysis world.
Yeah, I can totally relate. I feel like I`m moving from unexpressed anger into over-expressing it. It`s almost like I can afford to be angry now that I`m getting my health back and I don`t know how to manage it.
I`ll look into both books. Thank you!
 
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