webglider
Dagobah Resident
Last night for the first time in a long time, I practiced the breathing exercises. During the meditation, as I listened to the words, "Be my daily bread, as I give bread to others." The phrases reverberated in a way they had never done before. This morning, as I was trying to figure out the right course of action to take concerning a situation that that wasn't going well, I remembered those words: "Be my daily bread as I give bread to others." I knew that those words were a guide for what I needed to do that day, so I took no action at all and simply repeated the words over and over again. Each time I felt that I needed to talk to someone to vent, I told myself that I needed to work this problem out by myself. Venting with anothe person would only keep me where I already was.
"Be my daily bread, as I give bread to others" was, I knew, a lesson that I was being taught if I only could learn how to listen.
So I thought and thought about those words, and I realized that it was time to work on one of the many programs that have made life so difficult for me - the rescuer program. I identified with the part "as I give bread to others," because I'm always giving, but somehow, the way I give almost always ends up badly. And then I realized that the words "Be my daily bread" was the answer. I do not feed myself - I feed others and often something goes terribly wrong during the process. I could never really figure out why I usually end up unsupported and things don't work out the way I thought they would.
My fault, I think, was that I was looking outward for such support. The words, "Be my daily bread" took on real significance for me meaning - I I need to feed myself before I could help others, and sometimes my role is not to feed them at all, but let them find the way to nourish themselves.
So I tested myself, and refrained from taking any kind of action. I just stayed with myself despite the bad feelings that I held inside. I didn't allow any programs to run. The day, turned out to be a good day considering what it could have been. It actually was a very good day because I knew that I had acted in a way that I had not become food for anything else, and it happened, I think because I was able to accept the "Daily Bread" that I had asked for.
"Be my daily bread, as I give bread to others" was, I knew, a lesson that I was being taught if I only could learn how to listen.
So I thought and thought about those words, and I realized that it was time to work on one of the many programs that have made life so difficult for me - the rescuer program. I identified with the part "as I give bread to others," because I'm always giving, but somehow, the way I give almost always ends up badly. And then I realized that the words "Be my daily bread" was the answer. I do not feed myself - I feed others and often something goes terribly wrong during the process. I could never really figure out why I usually end up unsupported and things don't work out the way I thought they would.
My fault, I think, was that I was looking outward for such support. The words, "Be my daily bread" took on real significance for me meaning - I I need to feed myself before I could help others, and sometimes my role is not to feed them at all, but let them find the way to nourish themselves.
So I tested myself, and refrained from taking any kind of action. I just stayed with myself despite the bad feelings that I held inside. I didn't allow any programs to run. The day, turned out to be a good day considering what it could have been. It actually was a very good day because I knew that I had acted in a way that I had not become food for anything else, and it happened, I think because I was able to accept the "Daily Bread" that I had asked for.