Anger: 6 Psychological Benefits of Getting Mad

[quote author=SeekinTruth]
By the way, this goes for all other emotions, as well. We can't make progress without them, but if they get out of control/become distorted, we'll have lots of trouble ahead.
[/quote]

What Laura said is right on and additionally you make an apt point.

While sitting in town today, picked up a magazine from the "free to read rack" called 'Tricycle', a Tibetan Buddhist magazine that i've read once in awhile. Thumbed trough it until an article about Diane Percy or Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo appeared. In it she is being asked a number of question and one about anger that goes like this - wrote it a scrap piece of paper thinking about this thread:

"What of emotions like anger?" [Jetsunma say's] The Buddha said that it's greed, not anger that keeps one on the wheel. Nobody's chaining us down: we're clinging on with both hands.
Many peopele come to me saying that they want to eradicate anger; it's not difficult to see that anger makes us suffer. But rarely do people ask me how to be rid of desire.
We have to cultivate contentment with what we have, we really don't need much. When you know this, the mind settles down.
Cultivate generosity, delight in giving. Learn to live lightly. In this way, we can begin to transform what is negative into what is positive. This is how we start to grow up.
 
SeekinTruth said:
Laura said:
The important thing about dealing with anger is to remember that it is a horse and you must never let it get out of control. That doesn't mean that you cannot act angry or do things to communicate that anger or let off the steam in a controlled manner. But it should never control you. You make that horse go where you want it to go.

After awhile, the horse is well-schooled and you find that fewer and fewer things "startle it" or make you angry. Then you have a problem because you have to find bigger and better petty tyrants to stir things up to keep you in action.

Great explanation! The part in bold is that anger can be dangerous -- it can lead to disaster if it gets out of control, just like an out of control horse. But this doesn't mean that there's something inherently wrong with horses. In this metaphor/analogy, we wouldn't be able to travel anywhere without well cared for and trained horses that can be directed to pull us in the right direction. :)

By the way, this goes for all other emotions, as well. We can't make progress without them, but if they get out of control/become distorted, we'll have lots of trouble ahead.

I used to be angry and outraged a lot. People could tick me off very easily. I was also very good at blaming others. I would work myself up and become very angry. That has changed, because I saw how awful it was for my kids to have an angry and agitated mum. But still I found it very hard at times to be in control of my horse, even after I had started EE. I think the diet helped a lot. Also, the fact that I ended my relationship and acted in favour of my destiny. And I took some steps with regard to the bureaucracy that I couldn't have done earlier. The fact that I dare to stand up for myself and my kids has also done wonders for my anger.
I do feel very angry at times, at different people, but it feels different. It feels wonderful to be in control of this powerful force (well, I am in control most of the time :D). Now I can just feel it flow through me and I can boil from outrage (as we say in Dutch), but I do not direct at others so much anymore. Although I have to pay attention when I am stressed or tired or hungry.

And as SeekingTruth stated: it goes for all other emotions, as well.
All in all, I feel much more balanced, despite some difficult lessons. I love this horse now. :)
 
Laura said:
We tend to think of anger as a wild, negative emotion, but research finds that anger also has its positive side.

There are all sorts of good sensible, civilised reasons to avoid getting angry.

Not only does it make you feel bad, it makes you do stupid things without noticing the risks and it can be self-destructive.

As a result civilised people do their best to suppress, redirect and mask their anger. Most of us treat our anger as though it's unreasonable, unshowable and unmentionable.
If I remember well from the C transcript, repressed emotions lead to cancer (cells getting "mad").
And if I remember from the Law of One, only negative entities do repress things while positive entities allow themselves to flow things out. Who knows, extreme repression could lead to soul smash.
 
I've been having some serious issues with anger. Its all bottled up! As if this wasn't enough, I feel guilty about expressing it, even after EE when it can be enjoyable. This has lead to some serious passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional dumping/ attacks on my part, and even self-medication through alcohol. Its eating away from the inside.

I've got years worth of the stuff pent up inside me that's slowly turned into very destructive resentment and rage and find it very hard to express anger in a healthy way. It makes me really edgy and miserable in day to day living.

EE is helping, and I was wondering if anyone has any pointers that could supplement the breathing program?

Thank you.
 
Explorer said:
I've been having some serious issues with anger. Its all bottled up! As if this wasn't enough, I feel guilty about expressing it, even after EE when it can be enjoyable. This has lead to some serious passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional dumping/ attacks on my part, and even self-medication through alcohol. Its eating away from the inside.

I've got years worth of the stuff pent up inside me that's slowly turned into very destructive resentment and rage and find it very hard to express anger in a healthy way. It makes me really edgy and miserable in day to day living.

EE is helping, and I was wondering if anyone has any pointers that could supplement the breathing program?

Thank you.

Have you tried punching pillows, or a punching bag while thinking of how angry you are? Anything physical that you can exert yourself to let the anger go. Laura has said that she used to smash clay plant pots or go out and pull weeds in her garden.

Also, if there is a particular person you are angry at, you can write them a letter (which you do not send) telling them exactly how you feel about them and what they have done. You can get as angry with them as you like in your letter.

Others may have more advice, these are just the things that come to mind.
 
Explorer said:
I've been having some serious issues with anger. Its all bottled up! As if this wasn't enough, I feel guilty about expressing it, even after EE when it can be enjoyable. This has lead to some serious passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional dumping/ attacks on my part, and even self-medication through alcohol. Its eating away from the inside.

I've got years worth of the stuff pent up inside me that's slowly turned into very destructive resentment and rage and find it very hard to express anger in a healthy way. It makes me really edgy and miserable in day to day living.

EE is helping, and I was wondering if anyone has any pointers that could supplement the breathing program?

Thank you.

Hi Explorer. I think Nienna Eluch has some very good ideas. Also, if you're the exercise type, you could channel some of that energy into an activity like running, jogging, pushups, swimming laps or whatever appeals to you until you feel yourself under control. Then, while only mildly or moderately angry you could try this Focusing exercise related to primal therapy to see if you can find a word or simple phrase to bridge the gap and let go of a significant amount of that anger or rage.

This may not be a 'cure', but at least it may help to bring you back into a more balanced place suitable for self-observation; one goal of which is to try and identify something that may be 'triggering' you, unless you're always in this state.

Since you've got anger tied to guilt, it makes sense that you've got years worth of the stuff bottled up. The guilt, itself, may be the bottleneck since the whole idea of ordinary culturally-conditioned guilt seems to be to inhibit expression in order to protect other people--even if you have to suffer in the process, OSIT. Of course, it's not going to all be resolved in a day so I recommend a round of physical exercise when you feel overwhelmed, and then when feeling a bit calmer, pipe-breathing and regular weekly EE practice. And try to work in some Focusing when you're in a safe place where you can do that.

Works for me! I hope this helps you too, but others may yet have even better ideas from their experience.
 
Explorer said:
I've been having some serious issues with anger. Its all bottled up! As if this wasn't enough, I feel guilty about expressing it, even after EE when it can be enjoyable. This has lead to some serious passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional dumping/ attacks on my part, and even self-medication through alcohol. Its eating away from the inside.

I've got years worth of the stuff pent up inside me that's slowly turned into very destructive resentment and rage and find it very hard to express anger in a healthy way. It makes me really edgy and miserable in day to day living.

EE is helping, and I was wondering if anyone has any pointers that could supplement the breathing program?

Thank you.

Clean something. By cleaning I mean start by sweeping the cold air returns, washing the walls, baseboards, everything, then mopping the floor on hands and knees. That's how I burn off a lot of anger and get a good work out in at the same time. After cleaning a room that way, there is little energy left over to be anything but tired. :flowers:
 
Interesting thread.

I used to be a lot more overtly angry, pissed off at the world around the ages of 16-22. Not saying I don't feel like that anymore, just that it seems more prevelant. I think I use passive-aggression and sarcasm more as a way of channeling that energy, not that this is particularly healthy, but it can provide humour at least...

I used music to express the emotion of anger (amongst other feelings), either by performing/writing music or actively listerning to aggressive music. It can be a pure release. Especilly my experiences of being in touring bands have been concerned. Already the music was laced with anger (being high velocity punk rock/rock 'n roll, with a message) but when you add the the mix lack of sleep, hunger and not to mention a hefty dose of annoyance between band members, it sometimes made for a extra special performance. I can't explain it, it was asthough sometimes the anger would manifest it's self through all of us, simultatiously, which meant the music had more power.
 
Fantastic thread!

Great insights and information.

I agree that anger can be a catalyst and prove to be beneficial in many cases. Just trying to "hold it in" and never let it out is just bound to make the pressure cooker explode at some point, osit. That happened to me countless times as I've done that pretty much all my life.

Sometimes it is better, in my opinion, to change fear (for an example) into anger if we want to overcome an issue. I, for instance, have found by experience that fear paralyzes me and pushes me towards destructive behaviors such as escaping reality whereas anger will usually just push me to try to do something about a situation that makes me feel uneasy in the beginning. Of course, as Laura said, anger shouldn't control you on the other hand and that's where the key is IMO. The devil's always in the details. And nothing is solely black of white.

I don't see how trying to block/escape anger could help me at all. Actually, I've done so all my life and at some point my cup was so full of repressed anger that I literally broke up and just ended up with a sincere desire of dying and have almost tried to commit suicide. And by that time I had already been lucky not to have died of another cause do to my excessively self-destructive manners.

Fear has prevented me to grow more than anything else. Fear has made me accept bad treatment because I chose not to express my anger when I felt deeply hurt. Fear has made me want to escape this world and become a God of my own universe. Fear has made me want to end my then-considered miserable life.

Now I'm not saying fear should be avoided (it can be useful as well) but that just like anger, it shouldn't control you.

My thoughts.
 
These experiments show that venting your anger makes it worse

http://www.sott.net/article/267240-These-experiments-show-that-venting-your-anger-makes-it-worse

In the 1970s, Michael Crichton wrote a book called The Terminal Man, about a man with a chip in his brain who becomes addicted to rage and violence. A few experiments done in the 1990s suggest that we actually can get addicted to anger, and to venting that anger in violent ways.

In 1972, Michael Crichton published The Terminal Man. In it, a man with a particular form of epilepsy is finally getting treatment. Whenever he is about to have a seizure, electrodes in his brain will stimulate his pleasure centers and, hopefully, ease him out of the seizure behavior. The "seizure behavior" is extreme violence executed with extraordinary strength. The chip is implanted. It works. And all the people around this man quickly learn that giving someone a mind-cookie every time they are about to have a violent attack is not a good idea. The pleasure at the onset of every violent episode causes the man to commit more and more acts of violence.

In this novel, it seems obvious that it's rarely a good idea to reward violent behavior. But often, we do exactly that. Whenever we "vent," or try to act out in some dramatic way in order to experience "catharsis," we are giving ourselves a great big cookie for responding violently to violent emotions. Many of us have seen others, or ourselves, get worked up over some past injustice. It feels good to punch a wall or scream and yell. And we rationalize it as "getting it out of our system." But of course we're not getting anything out of our system; we're just doing something that feels good every time we feel a bad emotion.

One psychologist, Brad Bushman, set up an experiment to show how this reward system works. He asked a group of students to write an essay about abortion, knowing that the topic would get people emotional. The students were told that a fellow student would grade their paper. Instead, the paper came back with, "This is one of the worst essays I have ever read," written across it. The combination of insult and implied moral criticism was sure to get students mad. The group was then divided into two subsections. One subsection was told to go ahead and let it out by punching a pillow. The other was told to sit quietly for two minutes.

To check how these techniques worked, Bushman introduced what can only be called the revenge section of the experiment. The student was told that they could either punch a button and make the other person listen to a harsh tone or wait to hear the tone themselves. Whoever punched the button first would have to listen to the harsh noise. The catch was, the students themselves could set the decibel level for the tone they were giving to the other student. So they had the option to defuse the situation by picking a soft tone, hitting the button first, and causing no harm to either one of them.

Despite the idea that cathartically "letting it all out" would relieve people of their anger, the people who punched the pillow set the volume level higher than those who just sat quietly. Similar results were found when the students were asked to set an amount of hot sauce that their imaginary counterpart would have to eat. The punchers set it high.

In fact, Bushman found that even dwelling on personal emotions tended to cause people to be angrier. In this experiment Bushman had two people - actually one real subject and one imaginary partner who supposedly was working remotely - complete a lab assignment together. The imaginary partner yelled at the real subject. Some subjects were asked to think about their emotions. Others were asked to think about the emotions as if they were happening to other people. The second group felt a lot less anger than the first.

What we like and what actually works, it turns out, are two separate things. We convince ourselves that we feel better if we vent everything or if we think about what turbulent emotions mean. Of course we do. Getting good and angry and throwing a tantrum feels good. But it's not soothing us or cleansing us of negative emotions. It's just letting us know that we get a little rage cookie whenever we get angry. And, let's face it, few of us need incentives to get angry.
 
luke wilson said:
These experiments show that venting your anger makes it worse

http://www.sott.net/article/267240-These-experiments-show-that-venting-your-anger-makes-it-worse

Already mentioned in another thread:

Laura said:
A couple of interesting articles came along recently.

First: Negative emotions are found to be key to mental well-being

The key points seem to be:

A crucial goal of therapy is to learn to acknowledge and express a full range of emotions, and here was a client apologizing for doing just that. ... In recent years I have noticed an increase in the number of people who also feel guilty or ashamed about what they perceive to be negativity.

In fact, anger and sadness are an important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment....

Negative emotions also most likely aid in our survival. Bad feelings can be vital clues that a health issue, relationship or other important matter needs attention, Adler points out. The survival value of negative thoughts and emotions may help explain why suppressing them is so fruitless. ....

They found that those who often fought against intrusive alcohol-related thoughts actually harbored more of them. Similar findings from a 2010 study suggested that pushing back negative emotions could spawn more emotional overeating than simply recognizing that you were, say, upset, agitated or blue.

Suppressing thoughts and feelings can even be harmful. ... those who restrained their thinking more often had stronger stress responses to the cues than did those who suppressed their thoughts less frequently. ...

If the emotion is overwhelming, you may want to express how you feel in a journal or to another person. The exercise may shift your perspective and bring a sense of closure. If the discomfort lingers, consider taking action. You may want to tell a friend her comment was hurtful or take steps to leave the job that makes you miserable.

The second item: These experiments show that venting your anger makes it worse

The main point is made by way of describing a particular experiment that seems a bit twisted to me in terms of what the headline says:

Whenever we "vent," or try to act out in some dramatic way in order to experience "catharsis," we are giving ourselves a great big cookie for responding violently to violent emotions. Many of us have seen others, or ourselves, get worked up over some past injustice. It feels good to punch a wall or scream and yell. And we rationalize it as "getting it out of our system." But of course we're not getting anything out of our system; we're just doing something that feels good every time we feel a bad emotion. ...

{Here comes the experiment that is supposed to support the above blanket statement that punching a wall or screaming and yelling - a SOLITARY activity - is bad.}

One psychologist, Brad Bushman, set up an experiment to show how this reward system works. He asked a group of students to write an essay about abortion, knowing that the topic would get people emotional. The students were told that a fellow student would grade their paper. Instead, the paper came back with, "This is one of the worst essays I have ever read," written across it. The combination of insult and implied moral criticism was sure to get students mad. The group was then divided into two subsections. One subsection was told to go ahead and let it out by punching a pillow. The other was told to sit quietly for two minutes.

To check how these techniques worked, Bushman introduced what can only be called the revenge section of the experiment. {Here, we are obviously moving past simple catharsis of a private nature.} The student was told that they could either punch a button and make the other person listen to a harsh tone or wait to hear the tone themselves. Whoever punched the button first would have to listen to the harsh noise. The catch was, the students themselves could set the decibel level for the tone they were giving to the other student. So they had the option to defuse the situation by picking a soft tone, hitting the button first, and causing no harm to either one of them.

Despite the idea that cathartically "letting it all out" would relieve people of their anger, the people who punched the pillow set the volume level higher than those who just sat quietly. Similar results were found when the students were asked to set an amount of hot sauce that their imaginary counterpart would have to eat. The punchers set it high.

Now, keep in mind, the time allotted for the "calming down" or "catharsis" was TWO MINUTES.

I would say that the idiot who designed this experiment has no clue whatsoever about the inner workings of the human psyche.
 
Laura said:
Now, keep in mind, the time allotted for the "calming down" or "catharsis" was TWO MINUTES.

I would say that the idiot who designed this experiment has no clue whatsoever about the inner workings of the human psyche.

Indeed. This experiment was just bizarre. At the UK FOTCM meetup recently I was talking about my time with the Rajneesh cult in the 80s. One of his meditations that he devised was Dynamic Meditation, which was supposed to be a cathartic clearing of negative emotions. Well, I tried it for a few months. I mean I really tried. And my conclusion was quite the opposite of Rajneesh's. I found that regular 'cathartic' expression of negative emotion actually created an habitual pathway and it took quite some time after stopping the 'meditation' to get back to normal.

Peter Levine's approach is much more productive: holding the negative emotion in one's inner space without expressing or repressing. One also needs to identify what type of anger one is experiencing. Is it a reactive program born of self-importance? Or is it a 'righteous anger' that can lead to a productive outcome when utilised consciously?
 
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