Sherpa

Nathancat7

Jedi Master
My himilayan (25% siamese) cat just died today at 11 from feline luekimia. Not that anyone here knew him but he was a very special cat. I've been doing Eirue Eolas for about a month now pretty much every day, and we did it together--That was the last thing we did together. He stopped purring about two weeks ago, at least perceptably, but he did still knead his paws. This is a cat that would purr for 8 hours striaght, all night, with very little encouragement.
Sherpa was second luitenant to his brother Khalil Ghibran, a very smart black and white tom. Sherpa was a late bloomer and a roughhouser/player, whereas Khalil was an observer, often sickly, and sweetly charming cat--usually to get food. Sherpa was porly and large, but he wasn't really about food and reward.
Before they were neutered Khalil chased Sherpa away. Didn't see him till ( months later when I saw a flyer asking if this was mine, or somebody's cat. He was living fifteen miles away under a trailer of a woman who raised purebred Balinisians. She said the only reason she didn't take him to the shelter was that she thought he might be Balinisian (somthing about his undercoat) or perhaps pure himalayan.
When he came back he was much bigger, but most striking was his heart was just wide open, and big. He was wild but also very friendly, if that makes sense. He and Khalil had some spats and he put Khalil in his place. Trying to separate them he bit my hand to the bone in a fit of hormonal rage--but I didn't get mad at him, I understood, and the next moment he was purring in my arms. You're probably asking why I didn't neuter them--but I did--I just made a mistake and was a little late.
I' not telling this story to garner sympathy or the like, I just miss him and needed to tell somebody about him.
An article in Sott. talked about how animals generally play games, whatever games , to win. Well, Sherpa remained playful throughout his life, and he really wasn't about winning--just play.
His favorite thing was to drink bath-water. I used to sing to him in the bath. Sometimes he would be mesmerized by my singing in the bath. One time he actually hopped onto my chest in a shallow bath and drank warm water and just settled in.
He was a carrier of the virus--but it became active when I brought a small dog home--which was a mistake. The dog was trying to mate with him and he bit him and caused blood poisoning. The real problem was the stress activated the virus. In the end I was putting copper wire and around him and giving him water and food through needle plunger.
Sherpa had a good mother but we were very bonded. Sometimes I think I interrupted his maturation process--though he did fine on his own I find it important to respect the boundaries of an animal and not see him as an extention of myself, but as his own being. It started as a kitten, maybe in a dream. In the dream he and his four brothers were on the base of the bed interested in some food I had on my knee. Joseph was in the lead for the treat at the last moment Sherpa over-took him and took the treat.
Thankyou for letting me share this.
 
I am sorry for your loss, Nathancat7.
He sure sounds like a very special cat and you both had unique moments with each other.
I especially liked his being mesmerized over your singing in the bath tub, what a picture, lol!
I'm sure you'll forever keep your 2D friend in your heart with joy over having had him with you.
 
I' not telling this story to garner sympathy or the like, I just miss him and needed to tell somebody about him.

That's okay Nathancat7. I'm sure you've been through the 2D friends posts and know that we all have great love for our pets. We understand and it's perfectly acceptable to talk about him.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Nathancat7. Sherpa sounded like he was a very unique and good cat, and your description really brings him to life for all of us who never knew him. I'm glad his suffering is finally over, but I know that you will miss him dearly. I hope that writing about him helped you during your grieving.
 
As you mentioned in another thread:
Nathancat7 said:
...I've seen a lot of animals in my life die, and I must say that without the proper outlets I haven't fully grieved, but rather become hardened. Hearing your kind words of comfort really help me, and probably Sherpa too(not speaking psychically or anything like that)--for he is a cosmic cat to me, thank-you.

I know what you mean. In many societies today, you are considered "odd, crazy, weak, etc" for showing grief over a "mere animal" which makes it very hard to grieve properly.

So, I am glad to see you writing about it here. Here, there are people who do understand. There is no need to feel embarrassed by your grief. It seems to me that it is a sign that you still have a heart.

Just one thing so you won't be taken by surprise - if, as you say, you have repressed grief in the past and now allow yourself to grieve Sherpa, you may find all that old grief coming upon you as well and it can be overwhelming.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Thankyou all.
Writing about Sherpa really helped as the tears were flowing--but really not fully. And I think when the time is right I will greive more fully. I certainly won't force it, it has its natural flow. Before I talked about him I was amazed how little I knew was going on inside--partly because I just didn't want to look at it. But one of the things I am experiencing now with EE is bringing my feelings more to my consciousness--because really that is part of being alive--all the time.
I've got a lot more wild wild stories with cats that I would like to share when I am ready. Khalil Ghibran wasn't the most evolved cat but he was singularly intelligent. He actually got ran over by a car, breaking his pelvis and crushing his kidneys--he was walking after 2 to 3 weeks. The forest cat Hene became my personal guardian--though he later had one-eye--by attacking strangers and dogs chasing me that he thought were threatening.
Sherpa wasn't the vulnerable, defender type. But I do believe animals that are bonded can pick up thoughts or intentions. And if I asked him to be really friendly to someone Sherpa would do just that.
 
Thankyou Fireshadow,
I'm sure you're right about past grief's coming up for me--but you know I'd say its about time.
 
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