Hello all,
Im feeling a little uneasy as I write this post today, although I honestly do not know what I am supposed to do in this terrible situation...
When i arrived back home from my recent trip something had changed, my older brother (who previously lived with his partner and two children) was living back at home with my mother. The reason for this was that he had been caught looking at under age images of girls (he claims are 15-16 years old) and the net provider had reported him to the police. They raided my mothers house while him and his family were living here temporarily and took all electronic equipment for examination. He claims that he will only be given community service because the material is of a semi-adult nature and not "child". I was informed while still away and my first thoughts were that perhaps he was merely a victim of sexual conditioning from a young age with the media and pornography etc.
Although when I arrived back home is when it started to get interesting.. to condense all of this down - He was showing an alarming amount of signs of psychopathy, the more I observed the more I became convinced. It was only while I was not in his presence that it really was starting to make sense because whenever he was around I seem to forget about everything and see him as this lovely guy he portrays himself to be.
Anyway with this starting to build up, on New Years Eve me, my girlfriend, him and a few friends decided to go out to celebrate. It was this night that it started to get serious, I was informed by Jennifer (my partner) that he had repeatedly approached her that night being extremely 'nice' saying things like "I have always liked you, You are my dream girl. I know your too good for me and I could NEVER do that to my brother" but most interestingly her emphasized these words in particular "were just friends". Now me and Jen had both been expecting attack to come in some sort (although definitely not this!) so we kept calm, put it down to the fact he was lonely and we were on a night out and such things. As it turns out we spent our whole night dragging him off of women at the bar who quite clearly were not interested (yet he seemed to think that they were?) and trying not to get him beaten up because of his uncontrollable urges (which nearly happened several times)
At one point we were outside having a cigarette and at this time he was telling me how he would love to have sex with ANY of the girls in the bar and he 'didn't care' and this is where i saw the mask come off... There was a youngish girl stood by a wall outside obviously struggling with her shoes and looking upset - As soon as he spotted her something VERY dark happened! I could see his face switch, like he had completely taken on another role... he approached this girl in a very sickly 'Nice' way which I could see was a mask! He was trying to help this girl and speak to her so I pulled him away over to the other side of the road and asked him WHY he couldn't control his urges for these girls. He replied 'Because she looked vulnerable' As soon as he said that my face dropped and I saw him try to explain away what he had just said and deny that he meant the word vulnerable. now it was starting to make sense
What kind of guys like vulnerable girls? hmmm... That made me think, so I decided to do some snooping around. Later that night he confessed to (only) me that he had not only been looking at 14-15 year old girls (like he had told my family) but had actually been masturbating over 10 year old girls and ha not cared about the girls and how they were being abused. He also confessed that he loved to look at women in the club with tight skirts and thin bodies, but they were only substitutes for what he REALLY wanted to look at! (young girls)
why is he only telling me these things? Is it wishful thinking on his part that I wouldn't dare tell anyone?
The day after he claimed that he could not remember anything and that he was completely out of control so cant be held responsible for anything (which I do not believe for one minute.) With all of my observations and brief knowledge of psychopathy I MISTAKENLY confided in my mother. As she is a rather open minded knowledgeable individual i though we could speak about these things seriously (as we have previously - she has told me she has though he displays many psychopathic traits). Two days after this I leave to volunteer building at a friends house for a few days...
I arrive back, everything seems normal and at some point my brother is in the same room when me and my mother are looking at a personality disorders page (not about him) and he casually makes a joke and says 'You assessing me again are you ell? haha ;)) So now I know that my mum has obviously spoken to him about our conclusions, not being aware of how serious this really is.
This is a long post, but a background was essential to the present state I am in now. Rewinding back to Boxing Day, visiting my family and cousins for the day to have dinner. While sat at the table he shows me his phone which says 'Hannah and Melody are so hot now!!! They're not even my cousins ;)) referring to my two youngest cousins being ages 16 and 18 (look very young though)! As he is my half brother and not related to that side of the family I was able to sweep it under the rug however strange it was. From here I have to be careful as to what I say... it can only be brief. One night not long ago he confessed to me that what was found on the computer and taken is only a fraction of what he has. If everything was found he would definitely be going to prison for quite a long time. WHY WAS HE TELLING ME THIS? would a psychopath come out honestly like that? does he honestly think that there is no chance I would reveal this information? is there just no fear?!?
NOW I am at tipping point! Me an Jennifer came onto this laptop last night, I opened up the internet and there was my brothers FB profile logged in, we debated for a minute as to whether it was the wrong thing to do to look at his profile ( and it may have been ) but we decided to look for more clues :/ What we found on the messages were a long string of messages to girls who were (14-15-16) and what he was saying to them was almost cringe worthy. He seemed so NICE! TOO nice! he was saying things that were completely contradictory, and he would say the same things to every single girl. He dropped in the 'were only friends' line a number of times. There were multiple attempts to speak to women with husbands and children, a girl who was engaged, girls who had boyfriends etc. What we could both see was that it seems as if his approach was direct towards a specific type of girl. The VULNERABLE ones! I look back and see that both of his girlfriends in the past were extremely vulnerable, the first being a rape and child abuse victim and the second coming from a dysfunctional family and possible rape/child victim aswell.
As I scrolled down his messages... Two names that I could not believe I was seeing with my eyes
"Melody" and "Hannah" - our cousins. He has completely crossed the line... where is the morality? Being 26 years old he has witnessed both of those two grow up as babies... and is now preying on them? In the messages he was asking for both of their numbers (while sat at the dinner table infront of ALL of the family) saying they 'should see more of eachother'. Melody didnt reply thankfully, although the more quiet less confident one messaged back. I could see that he would drop in lines like 'you and me are the quiet ones in this family, texting while no one can see is like a secret haha' His court date is on the 10th of February, so I am confused as to what I can do.
Is it STO to tell my mother and father and let them know what a predator he really is? After he has given me all of this information, and left his FB on the family laptop?
Is it STO to not interfere in his lessons and keep quiet about the tapes that weren't found?
How can I be sure that my mother wont speak to him like last time?? How can I even be sure that I am safe if I disclose this information. It is all on MY head, I am the only one who he has told.
My thoughts are that he is a predator, and that is why he craves young girls. Because of the innocence that he can take away from them. They are the most vulnerable and that is what is food for him whether he is a psychopath OR just completely STS. All of his life is starting to make sense to me, i could just never understand how he was able to do the things he has down over the years, the compulsive lies, the aggression, laziness, lack of care, sex obsession, ability to say sorry SO easily, contradictions - everything!
I am asking for some sort of guidance... thank you
Im feeling a little uneasy as I write this post today, although I honestly do not know what I am supposed to do in this terrible situation...
When i arrived back home from my recent trip something had changed, my older brother (who previously lived with his partner and two children) was living back at home with my mother. The reason for this was that he had been caught looking at under age images of girls (he claims are 15-16 years old) and the net provider had reported him to the police. They raided my mothers house while him and his family were living here temporarily and took all electronic equipment for examination. He claims that he will only be given community service because the material is of a semi-adult nature and not "child". I was informed while still away and my first thoughts were that perhaps he was merely a victim of sexual conditioning from a young age with the media and pornography etc.
Although when I arrived back home is when it started to get interesting.. to condense all of this down - He was showing an alarming amount of signs of psychopathy, the more I observed the more I became convinced. It was only while I was not in his presence that it really was starting to make sense because whenever he was around I seem to forget about everything and see him as this lovely guy he portrays himself to be.
Anyway with this starting to build up, on New Years Eve me, my girlfriend, him and a few friends decided to go out to celebrate. It was this night that it started to get serious, I was informed by Jennifer (my partner) that he had repeatedly approached her that night being extremely 'nice' saying things like "I have always liked you, You are my dream girl. I know your too good for me and I could NEVER do that to my brother" but most interestingly her emphasized these words in particular "were just friends". Now me and Jen had both been expecting attack to come in some sort (although definitely not this!) so we kept calm, put it down to the fact he was lonely and we were on a night out and such things. As it turns out we spent our whole night dragging him off of women at the bar who quite clearly were not interested (yet he seemed to think that they were?) and trying not to get him beaten up because of his uncontrollable urges (which nearly happened several times)
At one point we were outside having a cigarette and at this time he was telling me how he would love to have sex with ANY of the girls in the bar and he 'didn't care' and this is where i saw the mask come off... There was a youngish girl stood by a wall outside obviously struggling with her shoes and looking upset - As soon as he spotted her something VERY dark happened! I could see his face switch, like he had completely taken on another role... he approached this girl in a very sickly 'Nice' way which I could see was a mask! He was trying to help this girl and speak to her so I pulled him away over to the other side of the road and asked him WHY he couldn't control his urges for these girls. He replied 'Because she looked vulnerable' As soon as he said that my face dropped and I saw him try to explain away what he had just said and deny that he meant the word vulnerable. now it was starting to make sense
What kind of guys like vulnerable girls? hmmm... That made me think, so I decided to do some snooping around. Later that night he confessed to (only) me that he had not only been looking at 14-15 year old girls (like he had told my family) but had actually been masturbating over 10 year old girls and ha not cared about the girls and how they were being abused. He also confessed that he loved to look at women in the club with tight skirts and thin bodies, but they were only substitutes for what he REALLY wanted to look at! (young girls)
why is he only telling me these things? Is it wishful thinking on his part that I wouldn't dare tell anyone?
The day after he claimed that he could not remember anything and that he was completely out of control so cant be held responsible for anything (which I do not believe for one minute.) With all of my observations and brief knowledge of psychopathy I MISTAKENLY confided in my mother. As she is a rather open minded knowledgeable individual i though we could speak about these things seriously (as we have previously - she has told me she has though he displays many psychopathic traits). Two days after this I leave to volunteer building at a friends house for a few days...
I arrive back, everything seems normal and at some point my brother is in the same room when me and my mother are looking at a personality disorders page (not about him) and he casually makes a joke and says 'You assessing me again are you ell? haha ;)) So now I know that my mum has obviously spoken to him about our conclusions, not being aware of how serious this really is.
This is a long post, but a background was essential to the present state I am in now. Rewinding back to Boxing Day, visiting my family and cousins for the day to have dinner. While sat at the table he shows me his phone which says 'Hannah and Melody are so hot now!!! They're not even my cousins ;)) referring to my two youngest cousins being ages 16 and 18 (look very young though)! As he is my half brother and not related to that side of the family I was able to sweep it under the rug however strange it was. From here I have to be careful as to what I say... it can only be brief. One night not long ago he confessed to me that what was found on the computer and taken is only a fraction of what he has. If everything was found he would definitely be going to prison for quite a long time. WHY WAS HE TELLING ME THIS? would a psychopath come out honestly like that? does he honestly think that there is no chance I would reveal this information? is there just no fear?!?
NOW I am at tipping point! Me an Jennifer came onto this laptop last night, I opened up the internet and there was my brothers FB profile logged in, we debated for a minute as to whether it was the wrong thing to do to look at his profile ( and it may have been ) but we decided to look for more clues :/ What we found on the messages were a long string of messages to girls who were (14-15-16) and what he was saying to them was almost cringe worthy. He seemed so NICE! TOO nice! he was saying things that were completely contradictory, and he would say the same things to every single girl. He dropped in the 'were only friends' line a number of times. There were multiple attempts to speak to women with husbands and children, a girl who was engaged, girls who had boyfriends etc. What we could both see was that it seems as if his approach was direct towards a specific type of girl. The VULNERABLE ones! I look back and see that both of his girlfriends in the past were extremely vulnerable, the first being a rape and child abuse victim and the second coming from a dysfunctional family and possible rape/child victim aswell.
As I scrolled down his messages... Two names that I could not believe I was seeing with my eyes
"Melody" and "Hannah" - our cousins. He has completely crossed the line... where is the morality? Being 26 years old he has witnessed both of those two grow up as babies... and is now preying on them? In the messages he was asking for both of their numbers (while sat at the dinner table infront of ALL of the family) saying they 'should see more of eachother'. Melody didnt reply thankfully, although the more quiet less confident one messaged back. I could see that he would drop in lines like 'you and me are the quiet ones in this family, texting while no one can see is like a secret haha' His court date is on the 10th of February, so I am confused as to what I can do. Is it STO to tell my mother and father and let them know what a predator he really is? After he has given me all of this information, and left his FB on the family laptop?
Is it STO to not interfere in his lessons and keep quiet about the tapes that weren't found?
How can I be sure that my mother wont speak to him like last time?? How can I even be sure that I am safe if I disclose this information. It is all on MY head, I am the only one who he has told.
My thoughts are that he is a predator, and that is why he craves young girls. Because of the innocence that he can take away from them. They are the most vulnerable and that is what is food for him whether he is a psychopath OR just completely STS. All of his life is starting to make sense to me, i could just never understand how he was able to do the things he has down over the years, the compulsive lies, the aggression, laziness, lack of care, sex obsession, ability to say sorry SO easily, contradictions - everything!
I am asking for some sort of guidance... thank you
