Semi/Deep Thought on Existence

[Nell-Li]

Lets just get to it. Before reading from the Cass website and esoteric issues, at the end of each day laying in my bed, I reasoned to myself that our existence was only worth it if we could reason in our own minds that we exist(ed) (linear time issues) after "DYING". Now after acquiring more "information" ( I would like to say "knowledge", but I never feel that all I have read sinks in to actuate in my life) in the dead of night, I reason that there may be more to concious thought than what we could reason ourselves into thinking "how things are" as oppose to what reality is. I guess the latter thought replace the former thought, for my existensial dilemma or my reasoning of the fear of death, "dark side of infinity", (not quoted out of context I hope).

I guess what I am trying to say is, my lack of understanding or belief or faith in my own existence( selfish huh?) after this life scared me to look for answers. Does anyone else feel that "Wall" (called life by so many) that veil from us that which we cannot see past through? Does that say anything about my essence? Maybe a symtom of having no soul potential?!( though I m trying to live my life now, with the possiblity that could be true)

I know to most the above may seem like jibberish, that was all my mind could pull together when I have random questions like, but I do not like to post unless it is a issue that taxes me to no end. My hope is that someone could relate, or have insight or suggested reading that would shed some light. oh last thought, this feeling of the "wall" thing also equates to the "void" feeling, if that helps.

Thanks for reading this, hopefully we/I could make some progress from this.

(apologies if some of this has already been dicussed, but thats what I like about the "What's on your mind" fourm. :) )

 

[Russ]

Well there are quite a few reasons why not knowing what will happen after death can be a good thing. If you knew you would be "alright" after death, on the first sign of your life not going the way you want it, maybe you would be more tempted to just slit your wrists and give up? Also it can be a catalyst for wanting to know more about reality, as you say. But in general it should help if you try to imagine what it would be like if death didn't exist, or if you knew what would happen afterwards, and then imagine what that would be like, and how it would change the world. It seems to me that death is an essential part of our existance, how it is.

In a way you could be exicited about death as much as scared, because its just blank when you look at it - you don't know anything about it really. Its 50/50.

You could say, is it worth the universe existing, because if all it does is cycle around endlessly, why not just be done with it and just have nothing? I mean it doesn't seem to "cost" anything, so worth doesn't really come into it. Same with our lives too, I think.

You know the worst thing for me is, if someone dies, its not their dying which is bad, its how they see it, the pain that their assumptions or instinctive fear causes them. I mean if I saw someone die who was at peace with death and was prepared, I wouldn't feel half as bad as if I saw someone die who was truly terrified by it.. in some way I think its not death which is that scary, but our assumptions about it.

 

[Nell-Li]

You know the worst thing for me is, if someone dies, its not their dying which is bad, its how they see it, the pain that their assumptions or instinctive fear causes them. I mean if I saw someone die who was at peace with death and was prepared, I wouldn't feel half as bad as if I saw someone die who was truly terrified by it.. in some way I think its not death which is that scary, but our assumptions about it.

I also have thought of death as this way. Far more important is the way dying is seen by the observer then what it signifies to them from their "assumptions" as you say. I tried most of my life to not think so negatively about death, cause it was so obvious that it happens everywhere and all the time, and also part of the cycle.

On the side note: What is always brought to my mind is when someone say they can throw themselves in front of a train to save a child then maybe to witness the event for what it actually is. I have no qualms about doing it myself, if it was my karmic goal, but I have to see the situation for myself before I could act (not too late I hope).

I know I wasn't clear about the original post, I m not sure If my ability could make it clearer, but maybe what I was really trying to ask was: When you are laying in your bed at night, what fills the "void", in your past and now? It does not have to do with just dying but living and existing in general.

This is a hard topic for me to grasp, so maybe you the reader can come up with a better question.
(Could there be a fundamental difference in the way a potentially souled person views death and the way an OP views it? or too vague and wishful thinking on my part?)

 

[ark]

I guess what I am trying to say is, my lack of understanding or belief or faith in my own existence( selfish huh?) after this life scared me to look for answers. Does anyone else feel that "Wall" (called life by so many) that veil from us that which we cannot see past through? Does that say anything about my essence? Maybe a symtom of having no soul potential?!( though I m trying to live my life now, with the possiblity that could be true)

Castaneda (I don't remember in which of his books) had a good comment on the subject of death. It went something like this: Imagine that Death is always right behind your head, somewhere on the left. It is always with you. Can take you any moment. Therefore, whatever you do, do it always like it was the last minute of your life.

Can YOU do it?

If you can, then, perhaps, you are on a right track.....