Hi everyone...
I feel very nervous writing this. I have been putting this off all day long.
But this always happens during those few times I decide to open up about some things that I have experienced... anxiety, and some odd fear about what may happen if I do, if it's safe, or if I'm just clearly overreacting. 
What caused me to even entertain this idea of posting was going through the site one night and looking at the Chilbolton Crop Circle article and coming across this...
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/cropa05.htm
I kinda got the chills because I have seen that many many times. I have never been to that location. Sometimes I see what seems to be particles in my eye, especially if I was relaxing at the beach or something, eyes open, not meditating, I would always see these squiggly lines kinda falling down. It was so often, but I just passed it off as particles etc. Then I stumbled across Dan Winter's site ( sighs) but I noticed that he had this Angelic language board or codes that looked similar to some of the lines I was seeing. But it was a bit confusing and I never really followed up on it. But since I saw that picture on here I thought it may be a place to find some clues and research research research...
So before all this happened I had starting getting into metaphysics, astrology, reiki, I had many sessions, past life regressions, tons of them in the beginning. I found it fascinating. After this I started reading about the whole Indigo thing,walk ins etc, was into that for a hot second, and ended up working with healer/clairvoyant medium, which ever you prefer. This was around 2005....It opened a whole can of worms, as she mentioned certain things had happened to me in my childhood etc. I had already come from a dysfunctional childhood home so I figured my anxieties, loner-ism and fears were all stemming from such, even though prior to such metaphysical findings, I was on anti depressants at the age of 17 and going to traditional therapy, little to no avail. As well as sexual abuse, or at least that's how I saw it at first.
So working with her through hypnosis, and through I suppose her own findings, as well as things I experienced during my own meditations... that I was tampered with by aliens, Reptilians, abducted, implanted, as well as taken by the government and run tests on etc. It was all new to me. Though I had read certain David Icke stuff briefly, and had lightly heard about such things. But I didn't think it had anything to do with me. I wasn't really against such notions, or gung ho for them. It was just kinda like Okay... Now what? But then doubt set in, and questions like How, When? How could such things have happened ?
Some of the things I saw when in hypnosis and working with her was being taken as a young boy out of bed in the night floating into another dimension, specifics unknown , just quick snap shots. Then when I was put back into my bed I saw scenes of men, coming into my house and taking me out into white vans, and driving away after I was returned. Spearheaded by the man who was a family 'friend' who I first at the age of 17 started getting flashbacks about being sexually abused after he left the area when I was a kid. But this medium told me that this man had connections with some type of network. As she was telling me this I was getting flashbacks of my mother's friend always commented on this man's eyes and how they didn't look human.
There is much more to the story, but I will keep that brief. But when I would sort of meditate on it, I would have flashbacks of being taken underground, on some type of train and transported, into labs, tested etc. Ritual abuse, Goat heads, drinking blood filled with semen, future self coming to save me during one ritual where I almost died and being told I would remember when it was time etc. It was just so odd. She confirmed this in I guess her own medium-ship way, about me being taken underground all the way to Utah and something about underneath the big Mormon Church there. Though I was born and raised in AK. So I'm sure it may be possible, but I was a bit unsure because it seemed so out of my world view. Though I had researched about underground bases after, and how they could do this and that and travel this fast here. It was just all new. Anyway basically this is how it all started. I didn't fully believe, or not believe, I was just kinda like OKAAAYYY.
Another interesting thing that happened was there was this meeting with this particular healer and more " Indigo" people. I really didn't want to go because I have had a thing about being around groups of people, but I went. While at this gathering she had asked me about my heritage... My mother's side is Jewish, and my father's side I'm not so sure. But she said she felt like a Celtic connection somewhere. She also mentioned I should read about Jesus bloodline and holy grail type things. Also while at this gathering while she was speaking, I noticed in part of the room I saw a neon green outline, small, maybe 4ft tall, and had the outline of a grey and I asked does anyone else see that? They didn't. There was no details at all, just a mere outline of a shape, neon green appearing and vanishing, buzzing if you will. Than another one standing behind her, but this one was much taller. She said the smaller one felt like a grey to her, and the taller one a Knight from her realm (
) I suppose. Either or, I had never seen anything like that. Luckily I was with a group that would have been open to it. Usually I don't try to draw attention to myself.
Later that night I was in bed I was staring at the ceiling, again I saw all these shapes and faces, in neon green, and I sensed that this face was Jesus. I was raised Jewish, so it wasn't like a hallelujah moment, it was just more of a mystery. Whether it was or it wasn't I had no idea, but that truth was I saw it. Also during this time I was fasting so maybe that played a part in it as well. I had searched the net and I believed I found some info about these neon green colors pertaining to dimensions etc, but I cannot seem to find it. Has anyone ever heard of such things? These Neon colors and figures?
I went through all this implant removal stuff with her... and none of my emotion issues sort of seized. So I figured it hogwash. Or that the images I saw was just my mind and bodies way of dealing with being sexually and emotionally abused as a child, and it created all these scenarios in order to cope and survive and file it away. But after it did cause me to research and study many of this phenomena. Lot's of research.
A few years later, again I decide to try something called Theta Healing, nothing to lose right. I was still dealing with the same childhood issues of anxiety around my emotions etc. So different healer, a few years later, no relation.... Again, the same issues with new twists and turns come up again pertaining to the above mentioned. When I started working with her more flashbacks would come. She did her own work and mentioned how I had been a slave to Lizzie's many previous lifetimes. I was a bit put off as it seemed I kept getting the same story circling around. Aliens, Government. I still kept having these images of scenes of torture, tests, aliens, men in white lab coats jotting down info on clip boards, abuse. I still was like hmmm this is still probably just my mind, etc dealing with a rough upbringing, and sexual abuse.
Another piece was added about bloodline. I also got flashbacks of my mother always telling me the same story over and over again, about how she was the first from her family's side, to ever marry outside her faith of Judaism. That thought just kept running through my mind as this bloodline stuff came up. Anyway she had mentioned something to the effect of the mixture of bloodline allows for the access code to channel the energy of JC (Jesus). Aliens etc can see your profile if you will ( atomic structure the c's mentioned right?) and you are targeting by them as well as certain others.
So again, more confusion, and questions. But I researched bloodlines, wanted to do genetic testing but couldn't afford it. But after I finished with her, again I felt like I still had the same issues, and what's really the point of learning all this stuff, if nothing really causes me to grow and expand from my past issues. I suppose I felt duped. Money wasted. Nothing really changed in my life. I thought If I researched, learned, meditated, ate healthy... and sought assistance I would feel better I supposed. I felt as if all this was somehow being created by my mind in order to feel like I have some hidden power that I don't know of, in order to make myself feel special.
So I just drifted away from all this but then again I ended up finding someone else to see, years later. She was a psycho-therapist, but also knowledgeable about astrology, meditation, and come to find out channeling, and Aliens. Here we go again... So every week I would see her, and would do hypnosis and my 'inner child' would always seem to come up and it never wanted to talk about my mother and father but about Aliens lizzies, and about how I don't believe, etc. During some of the sessions when this aspect of myself was talking about such things, fire trucks ambulances would drive by, crows would fly by the window and crow, and this aspect would say, It's them etc. It was just odd. Luckily she was open about Alien abduction and mentioned some of her own experiences.
We had a interesting session where I saw a scene of myself as a child being injected with some type of substance, and she would fill in the blank and say she thought it might be copper... So I researched the C's about Copper and Em energies 4th dimension, weapons and also read online that If you hold one end of any metal electrode on the edge of a table and then try to vibrate the other end, the frequency of vibration will help you identify the metal. Copper vibrates slowly (Very low frequency) so injecting it does what? Keeps my frequency low? It just had me ask more questions. Another strange hypnosis or I suppose channeling sessions about some type of scientist apologizing for what he did to me as child during odd tests. Hybrids- about my connection to hybrids. It was all just so overwhelming at times, and I just continued to think, is knowing this going to help me? I wasn't sure, because I just felt like it was adding to the confusion. Some sessions we would talk about my family dynamics etc, the psychological aspects.
The last session I had she put her hands on my shoulders... and relayed a past life somewhere in the universe than earth I had with the Lizzie's about some type of war happening, and in order to save my people I traded myself because they were interested in my dna code, or what activated it, so I traded my self, but they couldn't get what they wanted because it was the 'soul line' that created the code, not something physical, so torture, abuse and feeling like I didn't live up to my bargain with them, and it carried over into this life.
I don't remember why, but that was my last session with her.
Years since then, I have done somatic therapy, maintained eating healthy, researching, then taking time off and just decompressing. But it seems any type of work I do on this side of the fence, these things always come back in my lap.
I read an article Laura posted earlier today that she made after the Oklahoma city bombing...:
So my dears the point of this whole long ( sorry about that) post was my question... I never was paranoid about government or aliens for that matter... I always thought it was just from my tough childhood home dynamics. But then Alien abductions come forward after I move from my hometown and move to a larger city, where there are more opportunities to learn and see different healers etc. So I wonder is me knowing the specifics supposed to be healing? Or is just knowing something happened - which I believe did, but are the details the most important? I feel like all these years I have had this porridge of scenes, scenarios, things told to me, and after 3 different people no relation tell me something happened to me connected with Aliens, yeah I do believe something did.
But is the mere fact of receiving the knowledge of what REALLY went on going to help life move forward? I see the bigger picture of What's going on, in the larger context as I re-read session transcripts, articles from the site.
What is it I'm missing?
I still live with a fear something is going to happen to me, if I speak up, or I draw attention to myself. Panic attacks as a child, hiding in the bathroom stalls during recess because I want to make sure nothing may happen from other kids. I still feel that. Though not as intense, I'm not a basket case but it's always lingering in the background. Knowledge protects as I read the Transcripts, etc, but am I supposed to sort through the screens to see the true story, cut out all the fat from all these different sources to receive the knowledge that helps life finally move forward?
What am I missing? Or has my seeking this out just giving it more power? I don't know. I have read many articles, screens, hyper-dimensions, Alien abduction demonic possession, process of alien abduction, The Wave series, been watching Laura's videos again on you tube, been studying up on my Gurdjieff, meditating, EE'in it up as well since June. But I'm back to refreshing my awareness and knowledge so if you would be so kind to offer any certain articles, or certain transcripts I should re-read, or maybe something I missed, some clue, I would so happily appreciate it. Learning is fun, as I continue to search through this site, and board. I keep re-reading seeing if there is something I missed.
But today I just got this urge even though I didn't want to write this. So because I didn't want to and felt anxious and a bit scared. I did it. Sorry for the long long post. But it was brewing for awhile.
I feel very nervous writing this. I have been putting this off all day long.
But this always happens during those few times I decide to open up about some things that I have experienced... anxiety, and some odd fear about what may happen if I do, if it's safe, or if I'm just clearly overreacting. What caused me to even entertain this idea of posting was going through the site one night and looking at the Chilbolton Crop Circle article and coming across this...
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/cropa05.htm
I kinda got the chills because I have seen that many many times. I have never been to that location. Sometimes I see what seems to be particles in my eye, especially if I was relaxing at the beach or something, eyes open, not meditating, I would always see these squiggly lines kinda falling down. It was so often, but I just passed it off as particles etc. Then I stumbled across Dan Winter's site ( sighs) but I noticed that he had this Angelic language board or codes that looked similar to some of the lines I was seeing. But it was a bit confusing and I never really followed up on it. But since I saw that picture on here I thought it may be a place to find some clues and research research research...
So before all this happened I had starting getting into metaphysics, astrology, reiki, I had many sessions, past life regressions, tons of them in the beginning. I found it fascinating. After this I started reading about the whole Indigo thing,walk ins etc, was into that for a hot second, and ended up working with healer/clairvoyant medium, which ever you prefer. This was around 2005....It opened a whole can of worms, as she mentioned certain things had happened to me in my childhood etc. I had already come from a dysfunctional childhood home so I figured my anxieties, loner-ism and fears were all stemming from such, even though prior to such metaphysical findings, I was on anti depressants at the age of 17 and going to traditional therapy, little to no avail. As well as sexual abuse, or at least that's how I saw it at first.
So working with her through hypnosis, and through I suppose her own findings, as well as things I experienced during my own meditations... that I was tampered with by aliens, Reptilians, abducted, implanted, as well as taken by the government and run tests on etc. It was all new to me. Though I had read certain David Icke stuff briefly, and had lightly heard about such things. But I didn't think it had anything to do with me. I wasn't really against such notions, or gung ho for them. It was just kinda like Okay... Now what? But then doubt set in, and questions like How, When? How could such things have happened ?
Some of the things I saw when in hypnosis and working with her was being taken as a young boy out of bed in the night floating into another dimension, specifics unknown , just quick snap shots. Then when I was put back into my bed I saw scenes of men, coming into my house and taking me out into white vans, and driving away after I was returned. Spearheaded by the man who was a family 'friend' who I first at the age of 17 started getting flashbacks about being sexually abused after he left the area when I was a kid. But this medium told me that this man had connections with some type of network. As she was telling me this I was getting flashbacks of my mother's friend always commented on this man's eyes and how they didn't look human.
There is much more to the story, but I will keep that brief. But when I would sort of meditate on it, I would have flashbacks of being taken underground, on some type of train and transported, into labs, tested etc. Ritual abuse, Goat heads, drinking blood filled with semen, future self coming to save me during one ritual where I almost died and being told I would remember when it was time etc. It was just so odd. She confirmed this in I guess her own medium-ship way, about me being taken underground all the way to Utah and something about underneath the big Mormon Church there. Though I was born and raised in AK. So I'm sure it may be possible, but I was a bit unsure because it seemed so out of my world view. Though I had researched about underground bases after, and how they could do this and that and travel this fast here. It was just all new. Anyway basically this is how it all started. I didn't fully believe, or not believe, I was just kinda like OKAAAYYY.
Another interesting thing that happened was there was this meeting with this particular healer and more " Indigo" people. I really didn't want to go because I have had a thing about being around groups of people, but I went. While at this gathering she had asked me about my heritage... My mother's side is Jewish, and my father's side I'm not so sure. But she said she felt like a Celtic connection somewhere. She also mentioned I should read about Jesus bloodline and holy grail type things. Also while at this gathering while she was speaking, I noticed in part of the room I saw a neon green outline, small, maybe 4ft tall, and had the outline of a grey and I asked does anyone else see that? They didn't. There was no details at all, just a mere outline of a shape, neon green appearing and vanishing, buzzing if you will. Than another one standing behind her, but this one was much taller. She said the smaller one felt like a grey to her, and the taller one a Knight from her realm (
) I suppose. Either or, I had never seen anything like that. Luckily I was with a group that would have been open to it. Usually I don't try to draw attention to myself.Later that night I was in bed I was staring at the ceiling, again I saw all these shapes and faces, in neon green, and I sensed that this face was Jesus. I was raised Jewish, so it wasn't like a hallelujah moment, it was just more of a mystery. Whether it was or it wasn't I had no idea, but that truth was I saw it. Also during this time I was fasting so maybe that played a part in it as well. I had searched the net and I believed I found some info about these neon green colors pertaining to dimensions etc, but I cannot seem to find it. Has anyone ever heard of such things? These Neon colors and figures?
I went through all this implant removal stuff with her... and none of my emotion issues sort of seized. So I figured it hogwash. Or that the images I saw was just my mind and bodies way of dealing with being sexually and emotionally abused as a child, and it created all these scenarios in order to cope and survive and file it away. But after it did cause me to research and study many of this phenomena. Lot's of research.
A few years later, again I decide to try something called Theta Healing, nothing to lose right. I was still dealing with the same childhood issues of anxiety around my emotions etc. So different healer, a few years later, no relation.... Again, the same issues with new twists and turns come up again pertaining to the above mentioned. When I started working with her more flashbacks would come. She did her own work and mentioned how I had been a slave to Lizzie's many previous lifetimes. I was a bit put off as it seemed I kept getting the same story circling around. Aliens, Government. I still kept having these images of scenes of torture, tests, aliens, men in white lab coats jotting down info on clip boards, abuse. I still was like hmmm this is still probably just my mind, etc dealing with a rough upbringing, and sexual abuse.
Another piece was added about bloodline. I also got flashbacks of my mother always telling me the same story over and over again, about how she was the first from her family's side, to ever marry outside her faith of Judaism. That thought just kept running through my mind as this bloodline stuff came up. Anyway she had mentioned something to the effect of the mixture of bloodline allows for the access code to channel the energy of JC (Jesus). Aliens etc can see your profile if you will ( atomic structure the c's mentioned right?) and you are targeting by them as well as certain others.
So again, more confusion, and questions. But I researched bloodlines, wanted to do genetic testing but couldn't afford it. But after I finished with her, again I felt like I still had the same issues, and what's really the point of learning all this stuff, if nothing really causes me to grow and expand from my past issues. I suppose I felt duped. Money wasted. Nothing really changed in my life. I thought If I researched, learned, meditated, ate healthy... and sought assistance I would feel better I supposed. I felt as if all this was somehow being created by my mind in order to feel like I have some hidden power that I don't know of, in order to make myself feel special.
So I just drifted away from all this but then again I ended up finding someone else to see, years later. She was a psycho-therapist, but also knowledgeable about astrology, meditation, and come to find out channeling, and Aliens. Here we go again... So every week I would see her, and would do hypnosis and my 'inner child' would always seem to come up and it never wanted to talk about my mother and father but about Aliens lizzies, and about how I don't believe, etc. During some of the sessions when this aspect of myself was talking about such things, fire trucks ambulances would drive by, crows would fly by the window and crow, and this aspect would say, It's them etc. It was just odd. Luckily she was open about Alien abduction and mentioned some of her own experiences.
We had a interesting session where I saw a scene of myself as a child being injected with some type of substance, and she would fill in the blank and say she thought it might be copper... So I researched the C's about Copper and Em energies 4th dimension, weapons and also read online that If you hold one end of any metal electrode on the edge of a table and then try to vibrate the other end, the frequency of vibration will help you identify the metal. Copper vibrates slowly (Very low frequency) so injecting it does what? Keeps my frequency low? It just had me ask more questions. Another strange hypnosis or I suppose channeling sessions about some type of scientist apologizing for what he did to me as child during odd tests. Hybrids- about my connection to hybrids. It was all just so overwhelming at times, and I just continued to think, is knowing this going to help me? I wasn't sure, because I just felt like it was adding to the confusion. Some sessions we would talk about my family dynamics etc, the psychological aspects.
The last session I had she put her hands on my shoulders... and relayed a past life somewhere in the universe than earth I had with the Lizzie's about some type of war happening, and in order to save my people I traded myself because they were interested in my dna code, or what activated it, so I traded my self, but they couldn't get what they wanted because it was the 'soul line' that created the code, not something physical, so torture, abuse and feeling like I didn't live up to my bargain with them, and it carried over into this life.
I don't remember why, but that was my last session with her.
Years since then, I have done somatic therapy, maintained eating healthy, researching, then taking time off and just decompressing. But it seems any type of work I do on this side of the fence, these things always come back in my lap.
I read an article Laura posted earlier today that she made after the Oklahoma city bombing...:
So my dears the point of this whole long ( sorry about that) post was my question... I never was paranoid about government or aliens for that matter... I always thought it was just from my tough childhood home dynamics. But then Alien abductions come forward after I move from my hometown and move to a larger city, where there are more opportunities to learn and see different healers etc. So I wonder is me knowing the specifics supposed to be healing? Or is just knowing something happened - which I believe did, but are the details the most important? I feel like all these years I have had this porridge of scenes, scenarios, things told to me, and after 3 different people no relation tell me something happened to me connected with Aliens, yeah I do believe something did.
But is the mere fact of receiving the knowledge of what REALLY went on going to help life move forward? I see the bigger picture of What's going on, in the larger context as I re-read session transcripts, articles from the site.
What is it I'm missing?
I still live with a fear something is going to happen to me, if I speak up, or I draw attention to myself. Panic attacks as a child, hiding in the bathroom stalls during recess because I want to make sure nothing may happen from other kids. I still feel that. Though not as intense, I'm not a basket case but it's always lingering in the background. Knowledge protects as I read the Transcripts, etc, but am I supposed to sort through the screens to see the true story, cut out all the fat from all these different sources to receive the knowledge that helps life finally move forward?
What am I missing? Or has my seeking this out just giving it more power? I don't know. I have read many articles, screens, hyper-dimensions, Alien abduction demonic possession, process of alien abduction, The Wave series, been watching Laura's videos again on you tube, been studying up on my Gurdjieff, meditating, EE'in it up as well since June. But I'm back to refreshing my awareness and knowledge so if you would be so kind to offer any certain articles, or certain transcripts I should re-read, or maybe something I missed, some clue, I would so happily appreciate it. Learning is fun, as I continue to search through this site, and board. I keep re-reading seeing if there is something I missed.
But today I just got this urge even though I didn't want to write this. So because I didn't want to and felt anxious and a bit scared. I did it. Sorry for the long long post. But it was brewing for awhile.
