Learning to look after another being. (a dog)

melatonin

melatonin

Jedi Master
Ive never had a pet my whole life, not one i was solely responsible for. Ive had so much of my own crap to deal with (looking back ive been very responsible/lucky to not have kids either - understatment) I would of been a terrible father. Not nasty or unfriendly (ive never been that) just not been in the position to nuture/provide, and to give a foundation for another being to grow and learn. I would of unconciously held back any children i had, just like my own past-life (and this life) trauma has held me back. Im glad i havent passed that on to anyone.

It seems like my life plan has 'helped me', and an ex-girlfriend of mine had a failed pregnancy. Although i was very hurt at the time, i now feel relieved that that child wasnt brought into this world with me to guide him/her.

No self pitty here, but ive always known that i wasnt going to have children. I actually feel guilty for attempting too that one time. I even know now that i will never have children in this lifetime, as im not ready to face that experience yet.

One thing ive found is that the more aware of become (and healed) the more ive felt connected to dogs (rather than cats) and their very open friendly (even goofy) nature!
I now feel like im ready to make a step forward. I feel like i can offer an animal something positive, hopefully a dog.
I was wondering if people thought that learning to look after a dog would be a good step in my 'soul journey' (sorry if that sounds cringe-worthy) to learn to look after another being.
Im also wondering if im expecting perfection from myself (in regards to feeling like im not ready for anymore responsibility than owning a dog) or should i learn to trust myself, and see it as a positive thing that im aware of my limitations and taking 1 step at a time?

Is it a positive thing to have the perspective that 'i can only do so much in this lifetime' and to be aware of the bigger picture (as much as i possibly can be) or will i end up just holding myself back.
I know no-one can get inside my head, i just wondered what anyone thought to what i wrote.

Thanks, Melatonin.

Edited - Spellings.
 
Caring for another, plant, animal, or human is one of the best "classrooms" available here on 3D earth and will teach us a lot about ourselves--the bad along with the good. But, before you actually get a dog, having never had one, do some research. Watch videos by Cesar Milan The Dog Whisperer to learn how dogs think, what they need, and how to behave around them. Volunteer to work at a local animal shelter or rescue group to get hands experience in taking care of dogs. Read. And, finally when you have gained some knowledge and experience and confidence in taking care of a dog (which to do it well requires more knowledge than most people think) listen to the advice of experienced dog people on picking the right dog for you and your situation. Good Luck.
shellycheval
 
Really good advice from shellycheval. There is much more to having a dog than just getting one. Spend some time learning first. Many people who have dogs don't really know much about their dogs. Your experience will be far, far better if you prepare yourself with knowledge first and understand what you need to do.
 
you could also consider fostering a dog first, giving it a temporary home in conjunction with one of the shelter or adoption programs. E.g., I know that Adopt a Greyhound does place their dogs with volunteers, before a prospective owner is found. This gives you a chance to try it out, to see what is really like before committing in full.

When you are ready to adopt a dog, consider taking in a dog in need, instead of purchasing a purebred puppy. A local animal shelter volunteers will be able to advise you on which animal they have will be best fit for you, your location etc.

good luck!
 
Good advise all around, I think. Just remember that you will be responsible for this life you're taking in - you should both benefit from it.

As Gurdjieff said, "Practice love on animals first; they react better and more sensitively."
 
Gandalf said:
anart said:
As Gurdjieff said, "Practice love on animals first; they react better and more sensitively."
Click to expand...

Thanks for the quotation Anart. :hug2:
Click to expand...
Yea, thank you - i never heard this one before and it totally makes sense.

You got a great advice here Melatonin. Cesar Milan is amazing, I learned so much from him. Dog (or animal) psychology is subject that is totally neglected in veterinary schools which is great misfortune as vast majority of diseases stem from animal owners inadequate catering for their companions psychological needs; this is equally important as nutritional needs.

Good luck and keep us updated :)
 
I've been saying a lot the last few years to people who want kids, if you haven't had a few pets, go do that first.

I won't be bringing children into this world, but all my pets have helped me learn a lot about taking care of other living things and being responsible for the life of something else.
 
Great replies. :)
I feel like im on a right path after reading these responses.

I have already bought a book on 'Dog training for dummies' , and ill make sure i view (and understand) that video (Cesar Milan) - thanks for the heads up. :)
I purchased 'siberian huskies for dummies' aswell. I know.... probably not the easiest breed to start with, but im a very active person who likes running and walking daily.
They are very sociable aswell, and me.... not so much atm. So i was hoping that by having a pretty demanding breed (because i wouldnt want to hold him/her back) it would give me the encouragement to push myself more aswell.

The most caring ive done so far is with 2 catcus plants. One is still alive. (The tall variety), and the button-type died on me. I think it got infected and i sprayed too much bug spray on it (and maybe the wrong type) - so i could of been responsible for ending its experience.
I didnt do enough research, although i knew catcus were hard to grow from the outset.

Im going to make sure i dont make the same mistake with a dog. I plan on getting one in 8 months/year, and have already starting reading now in preperation. :)
I have already thought of volunteering at the kennels, but (as suprised as i was) its isnt as easy as i thought! I will keep looking into it and try to find something.

Thanks again, Melatonin.

Edited :- Changed 2 words.
 
Everyone has given such great advice -- here is my two cents:

My first dog, which I got when I was 16, belonged to an elderly couple, and she was already about four years old. This turned out to be a perfect mix because she was already a "grown-up" dog and had formed good habits from her mature owners. Made it a lot easier when my new dog already knew to go sit at the door if she needed to potty.

Getting a puppy has its benefits, in that you can teach it exactly the things you want, but getting an older dog at first was definitely easier for me. :cool:
 
Thanks Aneke.

My only experience of helping a dog was one that came to our house for food as a kid. It was mis-treaten by its owners (around the corner). I remember walking down the back alley one day, and seeing him dead. :(
This was back in the day before animal welfare had much resources.
 
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