Joining the private FOTCM Board

TheSpoon

Jedi
Hi there. I joined a couple of the UK meetup group calls over lockdown when the were held jointly with the German group and I was looking to check in with them again but can't now see that board. Also the infinity-yin/yang symbol is no longer showing from my profile and I think I'm missing several other sub-forums. Is this a technical oddity please, or have I been "dropped" in some way? I hope records will show that I log in and read this forum most every day. Has there been a cull of some sort?
 

Ant22

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hi there. I joined a couple of the UK meetup group calls over lockdown when the were held jointly with the German group and I was looking to check in with them again but can't now see that board. Also the infinity-yin/yang symbol is no longer showing from my profile and I think I'm missing several other sub-forums. Is this a technical oddity please, or have I been "dropped" in some way? I hope records will show that I log in and read this forum most every day. Has there been a cull of some sort?

Hello TheSpoon, if a forum member becomes inactive, or only writes a handful of posts over a longer period of time, their access to the private board is removed. The private board is a place for active members who network regularly and engage in FOTCM activities.

That said, we do understand that sometimes life circumstances make regular participation difficult and a member may wish to take a break. In this case it is customary to let us know that you will not be able to participate or post very often so we know what's happening with you. If a member's participation drops and we don't hear from them we normally remove their private board access.

Access restoration is granted based on the same rules as those that apply to first time admissions so if you would like your access to be restored you will need to start posting on the forum regularly. See the initial post in this thread for more details. I hope that you will be able to do this and we will soon see you in the private section again.
 

TheSpoon

Jedi
Hello TheSpoon, if a forum member becomes inactive, or only writes a handful of posts over a longer period of time, their access to the private board is removed. The private board is a place for active members who network regularly and engage in FOTCM activities.
Ah right yes. Well I'm working with a few things here. I took on the message that was given here not to "create noise" ie only speak when you have something worthwhile to say, and then I also have a tendency to hide away anything that I think might be unacceptable to others (the last time I voiced an opinion on election rigging being unnecessary Laura replied that she was speechless with a drop dropping emoticon), and this group has a tradition of being quite... forthright in its response to misaligned opinions. So I suspect that increased engagement on my part might highlight that lack of alignment. But we'll see how we go :-) Thanks @Ant22
 

cinnamon

Jedi
FOTCM Member
Ah right yes. Well I'm working with a few things here. I took on the message that was given here not to "create noise" ie only speak when you have something worthwhile to say, and then I also have a tendency to hide away anything that I think might be unacceptable to others (the last time I voiced an opinion on election rigging being unnecessary Laura replied that she was speechless with a drop dropping emoticon), and this group has a tradition of being quite... forthright in its response to misaligned opinions. So I suspect that increased engagement on my part might highlight that lack of alignment. But we'll see how we go :-) Thanks @Ant22

Maybe start with, uh, less edgy posts, as a warmup then?

Agreed on how, historically, one should avoid creating noise - but lately we've had 100+ page long threads that are, quite frankly, full of noise - so why not add to the cacophony when it's already going?

People are forthright regarding misaligned opinions, sure, but it's not helpful to hide away from the forum either, and consider that sometimes the misalignment might be an issue where the group hasn't necessarily been as well informed as it should be, it's a responsibility to share well researched opinions and improve the alignment of us all with objective reality.
 

T.C.

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I also have a tendency to hide away anything that I think might be unacceptable to others (the last time I voiced an opinion on election rigging being unnecessary Laura replied that she was speechless with a drop dropping emoticon), and this group has a tradition of being quite... forthright in its response to misaligned opinions. So I suspect that increased engagement on my part might highlight that lack of alignment.

Highlighting a lack of alignment is one of the main reasons why networking is important; so that member’s views of reality can become aligned. But then, it depends on your aim.

You say you’re on here most days, reading. Is that not because the views and information shared here resonate with you or have value to you?

It sounds like you’re willing to sacrifice the ‘adjusting of your reading instrument’, gathering knowledge, for the sake of holding onto your self-importance, or some desire to appear to be a perfect person, or something.

If another member here challenges something you have written, they’re saying that your viewpoint or idea is bad or flawed, not that you yourself are bad or flawed.
 

TheSpoon

Jedi
You say you’re on here most days, reading. Is that not because the views and information shared here resonate with you or have value to you?
Yes, sometimes they resonate with me deeply. Sometimes I don't agree with them at all. But I haven't come across any other forum which I think is "Doing The Work" any better.

It sounds like you’re willing to sacrifice the ‘adjusting of your reading instrument’, gathering knowledge, for the sake of holding onto your self-importance, or some desire to appear to be a perfect person, or something.
My real name is Peter, so Peter Perfect is a nickname I used to hear from time to time. Eager to please, to be a Helpful Engine. But at that same time, anything that didn't fit with the Good News story about Peter would get hidden away and denied. Not a good recipe for psychological integration or psychic cleanliness.

If another member here challenges something you have written, they’re saying that your viewpoint or idea is bad or flawed, not that you yourself are bad or flawed.
Yes I'll try to remember that. It just makes me anxious to engage in that conflict. I'm become more aware this year how an undercurrent of anxiety has been influencing my actions and life decisions for a long long time now.
 

Jones

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
It just makes me anxious to engage in that conflict. I'm become more aware this year how an undercurrent of anxiety has been influencing my actions and life decisions for a long long time now.

Probably not that unusual to feel that way. I suspect a good number of forum members do. In this instance it seems as though holding back because conflict makes you feel anxious has led to you losing access to something that you valued.

Of course engaging in conflict doesn't always mean getting what you want, but at least where the chips lay becomes clearer.

Avoidance of conflict might also be a sign that you either don't have very good boundaries or that they're too inflexible for changing contexts.

There is the option of starting a personal thread to talk about it if you think that might help.
 

Learner

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
As someone with a fear of conflict and a tendency to be perfect I certainly know where you are coming from. There are threads that usually do not invite disagreements (and the potential for conflict), like when someone suffered a loss or a newbie has arrived. Welcoming this newbie or writing some words of comfort to that one who suffered a loss or is going through another difficult phase of some sort can be of immense importance as well.

Another way to look at it can be to ask yourself if there are skills or things that come to you easily, that usually flow. And then to look around the forum if there are any threads or projects where these skills or things would be needed. And, to reasearch and contribute to areas that interest you the most would be yet another way of how to become more actively involved again, and where you might feel less resistance.

If you feel like in a flow - i.e. you just enjoy what you are doing once you got started - there's not so much a need to be perfect. And if there are adjustments to be made, that's okay. Also, conflict means friction - with friction we are becoming more polished. I guess if we were perfect, without conflict within and without, and thus done with learning, then we would not be here in this 3D reality. We are still on our grand tour towards 7D ;-)

These are some suggestions that I've been finding helpful for myself, and some thoughts (about things which I grapple with myself). Maybe some of this might help you too. :-)
 

Pearce

Jedi Master
So better late than never, but I think I'm ready to officially join the FOTCM. I think part of what's prolonging this cycle of variable contributions for me is that while I have committed internally a while ago to the work on myself, I've not balanced that with a physical expression such as committing myself to joining the organization. In truth I was wary of "belonging" to this, that, or the other, but I know in truth it was moreso about fear of failure, or not being able to hold myself up to the proper standards. This is a repeating theme in my life most certainly, something I can network about in a separate thread.

I understand to join one needs to send a check or money order correct? Could someone point me to the pertinent information, that is, if new members are still being accepted?

Thank you all for everything in these times. It's been a blessing and I need to give back more of myself to the group.
 
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