How to change your emotional state?

[Metrist]

I think when you feel good, it is like a blessing, and you don't really question it. But when you feel bad, you ask why?

So, thoughts and feelings run independently. Sometimes a thought will enter in your mind, and you think: 'It just came to me'. Similarly, feelings arise in the same fashion. And in both case they just happen upon you.

So, when someone feels wonderful, if they try to figure out why, the wonder is lost in the effort. But if someone feels bad and want know why, there is no answer and in the same manner a futile effort.

So to accept things and let them run its course is a way to change your emotions.

Take crying for instance. When you cry the emotions flow through you as they are being released. I think your emotions get blocked by trying to understand them. It is an attempt to deny feeling when feeling isn't good, but it is to no avail, and thoughts and feelings are confused when you should let them flow through you.

With feelings, there are no questions and answers, because feelings are true. And if you feel good, laugh. And if you feel bad, cry.

 

[BlackCartouche]

I think when you feel good, it is like a blessing, and you don't really question it. But when you feel bad, you ask why?

So, thoughts and feelings run independently. Sometimes a thought will enter in your mind, and you think: 'It just came to me'. Similarly, feelings arise in the same fashion. And in both case they just happen upon you.

So, when someone feels wonderful, if they try to figure out why, the wonder is lost in the effort. But if someone feels bad and want know why, there is no answer and in the same manner a futile effort.

So to accept things and let them run its course is a way to change your emotions.

Take crying for instance. When you cry the emotions flow through you as they are being released. I think your emotions get blocked by trying to understand them. It is an attempt to deny feeling when feeling isn't good, but it is to no avail, and thoughts and feelings are confused when you should let them flow through you.

With feelings, there are no questions and answers, because feelings are true. And if you feel good, laugh. And if you feel bad, cry.

I couldn't disagree with you more! Our emotions are intrinsic to our Being. To not come to understand our emotions is to not come to understand ourselves - and to never attempt to master our vehicle.

So, when someone feels wonderful, if they try to figure out why, the wonder is lost in the effort

But I might be an energy-vampire feeding off of emotions... I might not even realise I'm doing this. Where's the wonder in that?

But if someone feels bad and want know why, there is no answer and in the same manner a futile effort.

There is always an answer. If you never found one, its probably because you have come to allow your emotions to block objectivity.

With feelings, there are no questions and answers, because feelings are true. And if you feel good, laugh. And if you feel bad, cry.

For pre-Adamics and OP's, then yes, this would apply.

 

[lilyalic]

Hello Metrist, if you're interested perhaps you should take a look at the recommended books for an insight into the mind/feelings/emotions, and other things too!;

Recommended Books: List and Guide

I do not think all emotions should be "let out to run their course" - some are positive, and some are very negative! i.e. emotions that are felt due to past programming, past wounds, a messed up brain etc.

 

[3DStudent]

I think when you feel good, it is like a blessing, and you don't really question it. But when you feel bad, you ask why?

Recently when I find myself feeling good, I notice it as an unfamiliar state where I will think to myself, "Wow, I actually feel pretty good right now." It can be due to having done things well or having a good day, but sometimes it seems random too.

 

[genero81]

Recently when I find myself feeling good, I notice it as an unfamiliar state where I will think to myself, "Wow, I actually feel pretty good right now." It can be due to having done things well or having a good day, but sometimes it seems random too.

Interesting. I can relate to that. Although that feeling has a tendency to correlate to having done E E in the morning. E E is short for Eiriu Eolas which is a breathing and meditation practice, Metrist. There's also a really good book called 'The Strange Order of Things' by Antonio Damasio which delves into the biological aspect of feelings. Actually our emotions are good indicators and motivators for doing the 'Work,' which is work on the self.

 

[A Jay]

I think when you feel good, it is like a blessing, and you don't really question it. But when you feel bad, you ask why?

It depends on the situation, and isn't always true. Take the example that Jordan Peterson gives where he imagined himself stabbing the guy in front of him in the back of the neck with a pencil. In the moment the thought likely had a pleasant corresponding feeling, maybe something akin to feeling powerful. But that terrified him, because the boy in front of him had done nothing to deserve such treatment. Which shows that sometimes it is necessary to ask why something feels good, and to examine the situation more thoroughly to see where acting on our impulses and feelings, be they positive or negative, might lead.

So, thoughts and feelings run independently. Sometimes a thought will enter in your mind, and you think: 'It just came to me'. Similarly, feelings arise in the same fashion. And in both case they just happen upon you.

Sometimes an idea or feeling will come out of nowhere, but that doesn't mean that all thoughts or feelings come to us independent of our control in all cases. It's possible, for instance, to choose to think a certain thought at will and also to at will choose to feel a certain way. It may not always be easy to do so depending on circumstances, but it can be done. At least by some people.

So, when someone feels wonderful, if they try to figure out why, the wonder is lost in the effort. But if someone feels bad and want know why, there is no answer and in the same manner a futile effort.

Feelings provide information about the outside world and our orientation towards it that gives us motivation to do something about our situation inside and out. If something feels good, such as the exhilaration of landing a new job that we worked hard for, then we may want more of that feeling and thus will keep putting the effort to reach ever greater heights. If something feels bad, such as the sadness and anger of when a coworker or friend betrays your trust, then we may learn from that and try to avoid the mistake of trusting the wrong people in the future.

Understanding emotions is not a futile effort in trying to control that which is fundamentally uncontrollable. It is an attempt at understanding ourselves and our situation so that we may work to actually make things better for ourselves and others.

So to accept things and let them run its course is a way to change your emotions.

Accepting things can be necessary, but it really depends on the circumstance and the situation. At the same time, letting emotions run their course can be necessary, but again it depends on the situation.

Take crying for instance. When you cry the emotions flow through you as they are being released. I think your emotions get blocked by trying to understand them. It is an attempt to deny feeling when feeling isn't good, but it is to no avail, and thoughts and feelings are confused when you should let them flow through you.

Think of a crying child that feels a new negative emotion that they don't quite understand. All they know is that they don't like it and have no way to deal with it. After describing their sensations to their parent the parent then gives them the name of that emotion and helps them understand what they are feeling and why. The child doesn't suddenly stop feeling the emotion because the parent told them what it was. Rather, the child regains some degree of control over themselves and their emotions because they now understand what's happening to them and maybe the child stops crying as a result. Not because they don't feel the emotion anymore, but because they're not so afraid of it.

With feelings, there are no questions and answers, because feelings are true. And if you feel good, laugh. And if you feel bad, cry.

Feelings are true, yes. But why do you feel what you feel? Take some of the cases from "Inside the Criminal Mind", for instance, where some of the criminals felt angry and resentful because they thought the world owed them something for simply existing even though they had done nothing to deserve the things they think were owed to them. In such instances the emotion is right but the thinking that lead to that emotion was way off. So it's a bit more complicated than you think.

If you haven't read them I would highly recommend 'Inside the Criminal Mind' and 'The Strange Order of Things'. They're very insightful books that explain what emotions are, where they come from, what their purpose is, and how thinking and feeling are connected. Which I think you might find useful and interesting.

 

[Metrist]

I think emotions arise where mental faculties have a deficit. So, if you are a young adult, just learning to stand on your feet, you are prone to strong emotions, because you enter into unknown territories for the first time, and don't know how to engage socially. So, in becoming self reliant and mature, means to experience many things for the first time, and where you fit in into the social setting has to be established and balanced, and that's why young people have more emotional problems.

So, one way to deal with emotions is to first assess your situation, and be mindful of your social setting, and determine you done all you can, while still being open to new things, because you are relatively new to things, and biased toward believing you can't do it, because of childhood protections imposed by parents.

So, emotions can charge your thoughts, and expand them in situations of unknowns but if you are an escapist as many young people are, emotions are wasted and thoughts are wasted, and our natural faculties are abridged for favor of quick fix solutions which our modern world provides. And that leads to escapism, and just getting in touch with our nature becomes a science.

So, emotions are much broader in scope than I commented on. I was thinking in terms of how I dealt with it and from the standpoint of being overwhelmed in my youthfulness - you have to let some things go. Taking on life means you must know what is your responsibility in a social order. And emotions arise in the newness of the circumstances, as beyond thought are feelings.

So, maybe it is a primal reaction to our environment, which is good, but is an overreaction since we live in civilizations nowadays and not in the wild. We have strong emotions over mundane matters because they are still unknowns.

 

[Metrist]

And I will check out those books mentioned. Thanks.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Thank you Chu,

Very good material for everyone to build on their strengths and get out of stagnation. Something I've been thinking about lately is the first days when we "fall in love". Those early stages where we feel like we can eat the world and do things for a person that usually, being alone, we don't do for ourselves. When that experience is over and in a bad way, some of us go back and repress the state in us that drives us to do even new things that we did not even think of doing, we open ourselves to life and new experiences... but for someone.

What if we first "fall in love" with ourselves and life and decide to always be in that state of "I'm going to eat the world" when we need it and be more aware and not necessarily when a person or situation presents itself that fits our whims made reality?

Of course, it sounds nice, but it's a process. However, it is a fact that at certain moments, we draw "enough strength" to drive us, but always dependent on an external stimulus.

I relate it very closely to what Jordan Peterson says about "take care of yourself, like you take care of your pet", with people it is the same thing practically under that kind of illusion, we forget about ourselves and what we are really capable of doing, to change ourselves from one state to another when we need it.

It is like trying to break with that mechanical state in which it seems that a certain experience serves only to recharge us to 100% and then take all that we have recharged and leave us again in low battery.

 

[Gwenllian]

The quality of your life revolves around the quality of the questions you ask yourself on a minute-by-minute basis.

[In the present, the attitude is very important. We can either decide to do what is asked, help others, etc., or complain about things till the comets come.]

If you ask yourself, “Why me?” or “What can I possibly do?” you‘re going to be paralyzed.

If you ask yourself “What can I do next, from where I am, with what I have,” you’re going to put yourself in a position of strength.

Ask better questions. Train yourself to be the sculptor of your moods, rather than being tossed about by urgency and externalities you can’t control.

I just found this thread. Today I finished reading The Stress-Proof Brain - Master Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness & Neuroplasticity by Melanie Greenberg, PhD and I couldn't agree more with the above, that we have to ask better questions and there are some very good ones in the book OSIT. It is a very easy read, but it took me longer to finish it, because some of her questions and solutions really made me sit up and take notice.

The strategies she proposes are devised in such a way that we learn to calm down our amygdala (the alarm centre of the brain) by using our prefrontal cortex. I especially like some of her questions and her description of what she calls thinking traps like black-and-white thinking, unhelpful comparisons and judging mind. See what you think:

Black-and-white thinking:

Am I thinking in absolutes?

How do I find the gray?

Can I see things from a more balanced perspective?

How can I be less negative or judgmental?

Is there anything good that can come out of a situation that I'm labeling "all bad"?

Is there a more nuanced way to view the situation?

How might I learn to adjust to the "bad" outcome if it happens?

Tunnel vision:

Am I overemphasizing one piece of the problem and ignoring the big picture?

If I'm just focused on the negative, what positive aspects of my life am I ignoring?

If I'm just seeing my weaknesses, what are my strengths?

Wishful thinking:

Am I focusing on what I wish would happen, rather than what's actually happening?

Based on my past experience and current knowledge, what would I say is most likely to happen, and how can I best plan for it?

What's my backup plan?

Personalizing:

Am I taking things too personally or taking all the responsibility when other people or outside factors contributed to the situation?

What would an objective observer say?

Am I remembering that stress is a universal experience and a natural part of life, rather than a sign that I've messed up?

Blaming yourself or others:

Am I blaming just one person when many different factors contributed?

Am I being too hard on myself or others?

Am I looking at the whole picture and taking the situational factors into account?

How can I focus on dealing with the problem now, rather than blaming?

Guilt and regret:

Did I intentionally hurt anybody or fail to act when I should have?

Did I do what I thought was best, given my capacities and knowledge at the time?

What external factors influenced my decision?

Did I feel frozen, panicked or overwhelmed?

What past experiences led me to act in this way?

What do I know now that I didn't know then?

How might I begin to let go and forgive myself?

How can I stay focused on dealing with the present, rather than looking back?

Pessimism:

Am I seeing the glass as half empty?

What good parts of my life are still intact?

If a negative outcome happens, do I have coping strategies and sources of support to help me get through it?

Can I frame the stressful situation in a more positive way?

Are there any positive outcomes that could happen instead of the negative one I'm expecting?

Is there a way to see myself and my actions or abilities in a more positive light?

Is there anything meaningful or helpful I can take from the situation?

Overthinking things and second-guessing yourself:

Am I focusing on what could go wrong, rather than what could go right?

Am I looking for the perfect solution, rather than the best choice given the current circumstances?

Am I willing to accept some reasonable degree of risk and discomfort in order to move forward?

Unhelpful comparisons:

Are other people really doing that much better than I am?

Did they start out with advantages or opportunities that I didn't have?

Am I comparing my insides to other people's outsides?

For example, am I comparing how I feel to how other people seem to be doing?

Do I really know what their lives are like?

Am I giving myself enough credit for what I've accomplished or the hard work I've put in?

Judging mind:

Are my judging thoughts helpful, or are they harmful? If they're harmful, can I direct my attention away from them?

Is there a more compassionate and understanding way to view the situation?

[Remember that your judging thoughts are just thoughts, and you don't have to listen to them.]

 

[Ricardo]

hey , so , hum , the three centers are always moving , going after one or t'other , (imo) , leads to going after shadows of shadows, so while humans ( mostly ) communicate with words , there's more to human beings , overt scientific dogmas , always , and i'd add , deliberately ignore this , stuff , like the eneagram, energetic pratices ( ie tai chi , qi gong , .....) ,this is when all that crap , meets same , thus "science" keeps finding the wheel (over n over ) , my 2 european cents , greets.

 

[FRV]

The quality of your life revolves around the quality of the questions you ask yourself on a minute-by-minute basis.

I just said this to someone the other day then found this post. I am coming back to the idea of how important it is. The list of questions you provided are incredibly insightful and I appreciate it. I will be printing them off

 

[nativeindigo]

I was thinking about how it's so hard to get over certain emotional states like depression, constant negative thoughts, fear, the feeling that there is no hope, etc. And even harder is to know what triggers what. Does it begin with neurochemical alterations, which then cause certain emotions to "settle" and make us miserable? Or do we trigger those physical alterations by thinking in a certain way and wallowing in our feelings? I think it can go both ways, and that tackling the problem from both sides is a good idea. A supplement alone may not solve the issue, but sometimes in spite of your will and the efforts you make mentally, you may need some physical support. And in any case, it can become a vicious cycle unless and until we do something about it, for sure.

Aside from that, how much power do we really have over our emotions/horses, and how to strengthen that ability? Well, most of the time people don't even know their real emotions that well. You could think you're sad because that's what you are used to telling yourself, but in fact, you may have lots of anger inside, or viceversa. Perhaps a certain emotion follows a brain pathway, created in the past in order to survive, due to your temperament, etc. But in the present, it causes problems and makes you stuck, mechanical, etc.

The bottom line is, IMO, that those emotions have their place, but we cannot let them rule us. Take sadness, for example. Let's face it, NOT ever being "depressed" given the state of this world is very hard to do, and perhaps even delusional if you have even a bit of a conscience. But at the same time, we cannot let ourselves be paralyzed or give up. And we should be able to master them when needed. After all, all we can do is try to anchor a frequency, make our ideas expand and manifest, or as Laura would say, "be the change we want to see in the world", helping each other and sending a signal out there! Otherwise, we're no good. Complaining about the world or our programs/mistakes/you name it is fine and dandy, for example, but what are WE doing about it?

Anyway, what to do when we seem to be stuck in an emotional state? Getting facts straight seems to be the best. And asking for feedback, sharing observations. Because when in that state, even facts can get distorted and we can see everything as black. The conclusions and even the decisions we make when in an emotional state can be pretty bad, for example, as I think all of us have experienced more than once only to realize later that we were "thinking with our emotions".

Along this theme, I stumbled upon this article, and as simple as it is, I think it has some practical applications for most of us, in terms of the Work and living in the present, taking responsibility. Because it's like problem-solving, and who doesn't like a bit of that? A challenge, a bit of hope, and a method.

http://www.rockyourday.com/how-to-train-yourself-to-be-in-the-mood-you-want/

NOTE: You have to filter out the "business" approach, but I think it's easy to extrapolate what he is saying to what many of us go through off and on. At least for me, it was helpful, FWIW. Simple reminders can sometimes do quite a lot in the way of making us get back on track.



I read this a few days ago when I was feeling really sad. For me, being depressed and lacking all hope is unusual. I'm a double Sagittarius and fairly optimistic, so every cloud has a silver lining even when it's storming like hell, if you know what I mean. But I have had periods of utter depression, where everything felt hopeless, I lose all motivation, etc. I can keep working because I feel it's my duty and know what needs to be done, but I may still feel depressed and stuck, too caught up in every past mistake, wishing that a time machine would allow me to go back and fix it, or worrying about the future, the meaning of it all, thinking many of the things listed above when in a "funk". That's scary, and it can last unless I re-wire myself a bit. So, reading that simple article helped with that. Maybe it can help others too. Sometimes we can forget that we CAN change things even with the world being as it is. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. It might help someone else, it might help you be that change you want to see, and simply allow you to live your life instead of "enduring" it, or letting things just happen to you. I know we don't have much free will in this reality and cannot change the world (at least not in linear terms), but we have some, after all! Why not make the best use of it as possible?

Anyway, just some "The Work for Dummies" tips, to be adapted and worked with depending on your particular emotion or situation. ;D Not that the Work can be made easy, but sometimes simple solutions are at our disposal to help us with difficult processes and rewiring. One step at a time.

Thank you Chu for addressing this, as this is a very important point about keeping our vibes as high as possible, which of course affects what we attract to our selves and what we give out to the Collective (we all wanna move from this reality into something more positive so being mindful of how each of our vibes affects the Collective and our ability to shift into a better reality, might be just the ticket!

Something that was shared with me in a group last year....it is a method of training yourself to keep your moods and mindsets as positive as you can for as much of the day as possible. We can use our phones to set up alarms, which can be on the hour or less at first, depending on how much vibe uplifting you need! We know that some of us, for some reason, are just more happy go lucky, glass is half full kinda folks.......and some just are not, but that should not mean that we have to stay that way, we can at least see what we can do about it! When the alarm on your phone goes off....(try not to make it too loud so that it does not startle you...it should be a smooth and measured exercise lol). When the alarm goes off, make a mental note/write it down in a journal (if you are interested in seeing what patterns emerge) describe what kind of mindset did you have? If you were focusing on a task, how did you feel about the task? Were you perhaps focusing on the task fully or was your mind wanderin? Was there any worry going trough your mind or were you going over something.....perhaps some words or a scenario that happened to you at some point? Was it an old wound or worry that you are revisiting or something recent? If you are gonna write in a journal, then jot down key words, perhaps name the scenario, the person, the main thoughts, like regret, sadness, feeling helpless......and then once you have can see perhaps some patterns forming you can start to map what is going on with your mind during your day. Then, when you feel ready, you can take each scenario/worry/focal area, person....and deal with it...you can do some cord cutting, some candle blessings, or even Ho'oponopono (if you are not sure what this is you can look it up, as it is very worthwhile doing this). You will be giving yourself a chance to face head on and deal with some unresolved issues that you obviously have, and you can try to get some closure on them in whatever form you feel works best, like a few of the methods I have mentioned above. Once you have dealt with these issues....when your alarm goes off you will find that you are no longer plagued with these same scenarios or worries and you can see how your mindset is now focusing and settling into a more relaxed and positive outlook. You could even plant some positive scenarios in your mind that you can focus on (jot them down in your journal as reminders...like a future event that you are looking forward to, perhaps something new you are hoping to buy, perhaps a new person you have met recently and you are exploring what you like bout them.....basically positive uplifting thoughts, that may even start to encompass manifestation of what you are wishing for.....I have not done this for a while self, but reading your post Chu has inspired me to try this again....it might be quite fun to do also!

 

[Alejo]

I just said this to someone the other day then found this post. I am coming back to the idea of how important it is. The list of questions you provided are incredibly insightful and I appreciate it. I will be printing them off

And the language you use to answer them, that's the other half.

hey , so , hum , the three centers are always moving , going after one or t'other , (imo) , leads to going after shadows of shadows, so while humans ( mostly ) communicate with words , there's more to human beings , overt scientific dogmas , always , and i'd add , deliberately ignore this , stuff , like the eneagram, energetic pratices ( ie tai chi , qi gong , .....) ,this is when all that crap , meets same , thus "science" keeps finding the wheel (over n over ) , my 2 european cents , greets.

do you mean that Science keeps running into older traditions validating something that they had already described?

 

[Ricardo]

Hi , yes and no , (opinion) there's always social and language filters, and ofc, both of these also intereact , if you will , but while these might be considered passive (to an extent ), there is very clearly active interests obvious or otherwise that " use science " as an active tool to keep powerful knowledge that otherwise would be readily available , unknown , even barred at a (simple) language level , this has always been acknowledged by , people that practiced , say ,alchemy , or any true esoteric "science". (imo)Thus the language used by such is , particular in meaning , but using otherwise uses "vox populi" in "form" . (was catching up last night with the wave books online , wave 6 onward , Wilhelm Reich is as good as any example of active suppression of such , as i recall he was expelled from the communist party , despite never having any formal association , had to move to the U.S. , and likely assassinated in jail there ). My 2 cents , greets