How are you feeling?

Disclaimer: I am posting this for my edification and not to preach or influence. It occurred to me that many acronyms are developed with an intent. They are meant to distract from awareness. Example: the acronym for Deep Underground Military Bases is DUMB. A more egregious and provocative acronym is the USA PATRIOT ACT. (Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism). Were I a comedian, I could arguably go on tour with that one.

I submit that acronyms of this type are meant to evoke sarcasm. Sarcasm can be dangerous (to me anyway) because it can instill a sense of superiority, a holier than thou attitude, and minimization of the true meaning and the real danger. Sarcasm can obstruct knowledge and reduce protection. It can mask the horrific situation in which souled individuals are living…in this realm. I would know; I do this – to my regret – on occasion.

My challenge is to see situations, events, objects for what they are and be aware of the objective reality and understand the true nature of the thing.

I was once told a story about the lions and tigers area of a zoo. All of the inhabitants were complaining of their entrapment behind a great fence, how impossible was their situation, and how great was their anxiety. Except one lion who was sitting calmly alone in a contemplative posture. When the others asked what he was doing, he replied, “I am studying the nature of the fence.”

People like George Carlin use sarcasm to open one’s eyes and educate. But, for me, there is also pointless sarcasm, which camouflages true awareness and real understanding of the situation. This kind of sarcasm is a part of the fence, the barricade, another veil of true being. As Heidegger noted, "Nothingness [in this case, pointless sarcasm], in contrast to all that seems to be, is the veil of being."
 
interesting. I don’t think the acronyms are meant to evoke sarcasm. I think they are meant to dupe the gullible and whitewash the true intent. Sarcasm is a response to seeing this. Sarcasm has many purposes and functions. It can be a call to rationality, pointing out the emperors lack of clothes, but may be more often (these days) an expression of bitter irony. So, I see sarcasm as being a response to the acronyms and their 2 sided nature.
 
Last night, I had a dream, my Mom who passed away on March 7, 2015 asked me to move to Her home in Cannes (City on the French Riviera where She resided during her lifetime), I saw myself preparing this departure with joy because I love my Mom...
Could this be a sign for my next departure?...
It doesn't scare me, I'm just sorry to leave my little loves 4 kittens and my little York behind...
 
Well physically I’m feeling really run down. I spent the week of March 19-26 in the hospital. I didn’t know how much I got there. I just woke up in a dark room with my hands tied down. It was pretty terrifying and I was mad as hell! It took a couple of days for my head to clear enough to have a conversation with the doctor. Evidently if suffered a massive seizure in my bed at home and Wendy had to call the ambulance.

I’m better now, though all this eclipse/4-8/Lebanon/rockets/CERN stuff has me on high alert. Not so much for what they’re planning, but for the response. Someone said that the Cabal wants to open a portal, and what they don’t realize is that there’s a cosmic policeman standing on the other side saying “Where the f**k do you think you’re going?” 🤣

I do feel better now. I caught up on all my favorite podcasts, and had tremendous peals of laughter hearing about the drama of the week. As long as I can laugh I can persevere. That’s one thing I’m certain of.
 
I use a g.. translator, so if something sounds funny or absurd, please forgive me.
I'm quite an unusual guy, I guess.
Since I was a child, I have had very realistic, terrifying dreams and visions. However, today I see it all completely differently. Each of these visions had meaning. So what scares us is not always what is supposed to scare us. Sometimes the message simply cannot be handled by our mind and it takes years to understand it.

A child's mind is not ready to see what adults can barely handle. Practically since I discovered issues related to parapsychology (I was about 12 or 14 years old at the time), I read everything there was on the subject in the local library.I have encountered several inexplicable situations in my life, which I may tell you about someday. I've noticed that a lot of people here are very similar to me, which makes me feel good here.

I read about your feelings and dreams. This has been going on for a very long time for me. I think I've been having very specific nightmares for at least a year now.Very often I have nightmares in which I am forced to visit nooks and crannies of various places where there is something very bad. These are various situations, sometimes old houses, sometimes circumstances, and sometimes absolutely ordinary events that transform in one moment into something terrifying. I immediately wake up terrified.

Due to the persistent, long-term nature of these dreams, I have noticed the following characteristics:- The thread usually starts normally and introduces me (introduces me) to some situation in which at some point it suddenly scares me. I have an internal belief that it is something external that systematically draws energy from me or generates these dreams to extract the charge.

Something that benefits from that fear. I wake up and try to control myself. When I fall asleep again it's ok.
- These dreams usually occur at the beginning, rarely in the middle or end of the night.
- Very often I wake up around 2:00 - 2:30 am, sometimes to go to the toilet, and sometimes I turn to my side and fall back asleep.
- I learned to fight in nightmares. To face what threatens me. When something wants to attack me, I simply instinctively run to that place and look for the enemy. I want to hunt him down and deal with him - but there's no one there. I wake up. My heart is beating so hard, I'm paralyzed.
I feel like something is sucking my energy away. There is no other way to describe it. I wish I could see it, but I can't. But I know it's there, I know it's coming to me.
 
Evan said:
Well physically I’m feeling really run down. I spent the week of March 19-26 in the hospital. I didn’t know how much I got there. I just woke up in a dark room with my hands tied down. It was pretty terrifying and I was mad as hell! It took a couple of days for my head to clear enough to have a conversation with the doctor. Evidently if suffered a massive seizure in my bed at home and Wendy had to call the ambulance.

I’m better now, though all this eclipse/4-8/Lebanon/rockets/CERN stuff has me on high alert. Not so much for what they’re planning, but for the response. Someone said that the Cabal wants to open a portal, and what they don’t realize is that there’s a cosmic policeman standing on the other side saying “Where the f**k do you think you’re going?” 🤣

I do feel better now. I caught up on all my favorite podcasts, and had tremendous peals of laughter hearing about the drama of the week. As long as I can laugh I can persevere. That’s one thing I’m certain of.
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I wish you a bon retablissement. And yes, the way to survive this situation, these dark times, is with love and laugh. Two columns to support us, come rain or shine.
 
love and laugh
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Since my prostate cancer surgery a few months ago I've been on daily prescription of sildenafil (viagra). You have to take it daily to maintain blood circulation. I get a 90 day supply. I understand most prescriptions are for its recreational use and are for fewer pills.

Went to the pharmacy this morning and dropped off the bottle and while waiting decided to pick up some wet wipe towellets. They had a great big pack of five boxes for a real discounted price so I picked one and took it to the counter.

The lady at the checkout looked at my two items and said: Lawd have mercy what a combination.

:love:
 
Hi Everyone , am reaching out for some support/prayers/healing
Last wedenesday (the day of that unexpected horse event in London) I travelled with a friend to cork for a routine gastroscopy to check up on the status of my oesophagus,its been a year since the last one and the results were clear and ok then.
Obviously I had expectation that things would be clear. When I went into the procedure room I saw my consultant who was enaged with her computer screen She came over to start the procedure and administered the midzolam/fentanyl sedative - it didnt work right away and I felt she hadnt adminsterd enough- so although semi conscious I experienced alot of discomfort and choking for a while -then I was out - when I came round in the recovery area my consultant inforrmed me tat there wer 4 new varices forming 2 were grade 2 and the others were grade one ( in ireland its a 1 3 3 scale in order of severity.My consultant said they had all been banded (which is a good thing as that will certainly lessen the chance of a variceal bleed. I asked her if there was any reason for the varices appearing in such a short time span- she said that it was due to portal vein pressure and cirrosis and all they can do is monitor and band varices.
Its probably my vulnerability but I sensed a dissasociated manner and severity around both my consultant and the nurse .

I took to bed yesterday with hot water bottle duvet and blankets and took tylenol as the shivers started in the morning and I felt really really cold. I think the shiveryness is the physical trauma as well a rather rough handed approach to the way it was done.
Then there is the emotional centre being hit by the shock of new varices appearing -especially since ive been doing so well the last few .
years inspite of covid etc. Also the body getting rid of the sedative left me feeling very rough.

So the whole thing was really unexpected and shocking. I might be over imagining certain things but I felt like something malevolent launched an attack on me - either way I got some guidance to share this here .

ThankYou all 🙏💞
 
Since the last quarter of last year, I've been stressed and just thinking about my survival everyday.

At this time, I am hopeful and thankful for all the experiences and if not for the grace of the Universe, I would not have known how to navigate this chapter. I can now see the silver lining with my personal life. :thup:
 
Emerald Rob said:
Hi Everyone , am reaching out for some support/prayers/healing
Last wedenesday (the day of that unexpected horse event in London) I travelled with a friend to cork for a routine gastroscopy to check up on the status of my oesophagus,its been a year since the last one and the results were clear and ok then.
Obviously I had expectation that things would be clear. When I went into the procedure room I saw my consultant who was enaged with her computer screen She came over to start the procedure and administered the midzolam/fentanyl sedative - it didnt work right away and I felt she hadnt adminsterd enough- so although semi conscious I experienced alot of discomfort and choking for a while -then I was out - when I came round in the recovery area my consultant inforrmed me tat there wer 4 new varices forming 2 were grade 2 and the others were grade one ( in ireland its a 1 3 3 scale in order of severity.My consultant said they had all been banded (which is a good thing as that will certainly lessen the chance of a variceal bleed. I asked her if there was any reason for the varices appearing in such a short time span- she said that it was due to portal vein pressure and cirrosis and all they can do is monitor and band varices.
Its probably my vulnerability but I sensed a dissasociated manner and severity around both my consultant and the nurse .

I took to bed yesterday with hot water bottle duvet and blankets and took tylenol as the shivers started in the morning and I felt really really cold. I think the shiveryness is the physical trauma as well a rather rough handed approach to the way it was done.
Then there is the emotional centre being hit by the shock of new varices appearing -especially since ive been doing so well the last few .
years inspite of covid etc. Also the body getting rid of the sedative left me feeling very rough.

So the whole thing was really unexpected and shocking. I might be over imagining certain things but I felt like something malevolent launched an attack on me - either way I got some guidance to share this here .

ThankYou all 🙏💞
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So sorry you are going through this, Emerald Rob. You are in my thoughts and prayers for comfort and healing on all levels. 💜
 
Over the past few years, I have been carefully analyzing my behavior when confronted with life challenges, i.e. how I react under external or internal pressure; how I cope with stress; how I defend myself when attacked (or not attacked!); how long it takes me to cycle through anger, frustration, happiness, etc.

After gathering 4 years of data, I have come to the conclusion that I am essentially governed by my "fight-or-flight" system. Since I am much more inclined to avoid conflicts than to directly address them, my mind becomes a battlefield of "what-ifs", ruminating about countless little details. Then, frustration grows inside me because I am unable to control what my mind tells me I need to control. As a result, I dissociate and temporarily 'silence' these thought loops. It's a very pleasant feeling to 'escape' and retreat in a 'safe zone.' But then I lose energy, a lot of energy, and once I hit 'rock bottom' the thought loops vanish as there is no more energy left to feed them. I become lifeless, irritable, and unmotivated when I give the beast what it wants.

After a couple days, once I recharge and recover from this 'self-attack', I am determined to 'never let this happen again'. I am enveloped by hopeful thoughts and I address my lingering problems, and laugh at how easy it was to solve them. This gives me happiness, in fact, so much happiness that I start dissociating once again. Why? Well, the bad habits that were formed and reinforced by my "flight" response are still there! The program is still running in the background!

And so this is how the vicious cycle is closed and perpetuated.

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It took me a long time to realize that this vicious cycle was made of two sub-cycles, and that if I were to solve the issue permanently, I would have to address both sub-cycles simultaneously:
  • When a problem occurs, I address it immediately.
    • Effect: eliminates thoughts loops because they don't have time to pollute the mind.
  • When I solve a problem, I do not let emotions derail me.
    • Effect: tones down the amplitude of the emotional response triggered by successful problem solving.
One day, I decided to get rid of this false personality which brought me so much guilt over the years and prevented me from fully experiencing my true self.

So I did an experiment.

Remember how lockdowns harmed people during the plandemic? Well, guess what, I was about to lockdown the predator mind! But first, I had to gently trick the tyrant and lead it into a trap. So I made a sandbox in which I could control most of the variables and invited the predator to do "whatever it wanted." In other words, whenever I faced a problem, I let my dissociative thoughts takeover my mind, but I reserved just enough energy to contain the tyrant into the sandbox. I would take a 'snapshot' of my energy levels before and after the predator's actions. These 'snapshots' would later be used as proof to confront the predator.

So I let the predator mind run amok.

After a couple of hours, I sensed that it was running out of steam (so was I, but I would never let the predator mind knock me out—after all, I was the one controlling the variables!).

Then, I grabbed my 'snapshots' and said: "Look, you have spent the last 3 hours dissociating, you are tired, and there is still a problem to be solved. Don't you wish you had the energy you had 3 hours ago?"
"Yes, but it was fun, wasn't it?" replied the predator mind.
"Well, you'll need to find another way to 'play,' because whatever you just did, you won't be able to repeat it ever again," I answered.
"You always say that, but you never do anything," said the tyrant.

The trap was set. After the predator mind would be done playing with a particular toy, I would either destroy the toy or make it completely unreachable. On every new dissociative attempt, the predator would be forced to dig out a new toy from the sand. Eventually, the predator ran out of 'familiar' toys, i.e. my main dissociative habits.

"Not used to playing with barbies, eh?" I asked.
"ARGH!! Give me back my precious truck!" yelled the predator mind.

With no more energy left to steal, the predator mind gave up.

"I am done. You win. Get me outta here!" screamed the tyrant.
"Hell no! Enjoy your new permanent residence," I responded.

From that point, the draining stopped completely. I became a lot more stable emotionally, which was a strange feeling at first, because I was so used to going through internal ups and downs. The predator mind sabotaged my well-being by keeping me in this endless cycle. The tyrant even tried to convince me that this dynamic was necessary for my well-being! My sleep is very peaceful now that there isn't a predator spinning illusions in the middle of the night.

Looking back, it is much easier to address daily challenges when the 'energy bar' is full!
Laura said:
Q: (L) I have noticed that quite a number of people on the forum seem to be getting smarter. Is that just - they really seem to be getting things, putting things together, and...

A: When energy is no longer needed to support illusion it is available for knowledge and awareness.
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In conclusion, I have learned that deprogramming starts when a dissociative activity is COMPLETELY eliminated. Bad habits are dangerous because they essentially run on 'auto-pilot' and bypass the critical mind: "Why am I doing this? Does it really benefit me or others around me?" When attacked, the predator mind will try to find damaging alternatives no matter what. Cutting all dissociative activities at the same time could induce a big shock, so that's why I recommend eliminating bad habits progressively. The energy saved by 'knocking off' a bad habit can be used to tackle the next one. Throughout this process, it is important to view it as an experiment, and not take relapse as a sign of defeat.

In the end you must be true to your own nature and fear nothing.—Caesar (Session 12 July 2014)
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Natus Videre said:
…deprogramming starts when a dissociative activity is COMPLETELY eliminated.
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Nice! Thanks for sharing.
I collect catch phrases to utilise when needed. This is a good one, it relates to a recent statement by Laura about how day dreaming or not being consciously present in the moment creates opportunities for an entity to insert a feeding tube for itself.
 
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