Balance
The Force is Strong With This One
Hello everyone.
I’m in big doubt about Reiki(first and second initiation) I recently received. Actually I don’t know if it’s problem in Reiki transmission or is it a problem in myself. Let’s start from initiations.
My Reiki teacher lineage is:
1. MIKAO USUI 2. CHUJIRO HAYASHI 3. HAWAYO TAKATA, 4.WANYA TWAN, 5. AYLA NORLAMO 6. IVANKA SAVIĆ 7. My teacher
I was not able to find any Reiki master in my country who has fewer people between them and Takata, plus they all have corrupted lineages (more than 80% is from L. Rand and Karuna Reiki from Germany or similar).
Only ‘red flag’ about my teacher was that she said that she experimented with initiation on distance and that it worked for her Reiki pupils and after that she continued with such practice regularly for people who are not able to visit her due to distance(majority).
So, I got my first initiation at distance even if I was able to visit her. (Yes I accepted that…).
Month and half later I received second Reiki initiation but in person. I insisted that I want it in person, not at distance and everything went OK. Symbols used are same as on James Deacon website and that’s not the problem.
My big concern is Reiki flow. Between first and second degree I felt no flow. I would lie if I said I felt ‘magnificent all healing Reiki flow through my hands’. Nothing compared to heating Reiki flow Laura described in the first Wave series. Actually I never felt that real HEAT from my hands. Maybe once or twice some really mild heat but that’s it.
Anyway, I took second degree in person and I can use symbols now. When I write them in the air or on my palms I can sense something like ‘energy streaming through my body’ but again…mildly AND not every time I do Reiki. Sometimes I do not even feel that.
My biggest concern is even if I relax, even if I write these symbols three times on my palms, especially cho-ku-rei, I cannot feels much difference in flow. I can say that something is happening but it’s all on the edge of wishful thinking. I don’t know if I’m tripping or if there is a real flow, real difference. As C’s said, I do not want to be a tool for the tool. Some Reiki practitioners and probably all ‘spritual mumbo-jumbo’ lads, would tell me I just need to have faith that it will work and it will work, that I just have to practice tralalalal. But c’mon, if something is objective it should work even if I I’m skeptic. Yes, I have intent but who cares about believing and faith?
Electric lamp switch will turn lamp on, if whole installation is correct, whether I believe in it or not. That’s objective.
How can I know that flow is objective and not a mild product of my imagination?
I also did Reiki on my girlfriend and she felt no flow at all. Something very very mild on specific body parts and that’s it. I also felt really mild heat on few occasions and that’s it. After some time she fell asleep. Actually, she had menstrual pain in abdomen (she rarely has one), I thought maybe Reiki there would help, but as I said I only felt mild flow in lower abdomen area and that’s it. Similar pain continued in her lower abdomen on next day.
You know…when things like this happen in a row I really become demotivated to continue practicing or I continue practicing but very rarely which is equivalent to not practicing.
Someone would say that I’m impatient, but what if I’m doing nothing?
Yes I’m impatient only because I do not want to turn this whole concept into wishful thinking, like:
I sit, I draw symbols, I channel Reiki -> I sit, I draw symbols, I THINK I channel Reiki
Than I’m no different than any other ‘spiritual mambo-jumbo just believe and have faith‘ fool. And I don’t want that. It’s not just that I don’t want that, I’m not able to become like that, for now . Especially in the domain of believing and faith.
I have a really strong rational and skeptic component of my mind and if something doesn’t work I simply CANNOT pretend that it works.
When I train in the gym, I’m not just doing my workout. I try to squeeze and feel as much pain and soreness as I can and if I succeed in that, workout is good. If I feels sore day after, that’s a sign that it works. If no pain/stretch/pump/soreness is present during workout and no soreness day after…it’s a no-no. Something has to be changed.
That’s also one of the reasons why I chose to do web programming as a primary job. You hit the button and you see if program works or not (yeah, there are always bugs and errors but you can see in few seconds if software works or if you have to change something).
But Reiki in my case…I simply don’t know. Does it work or not? Is this really mild and sometimes non-existent flow a real Reiki flow or just 10V compared to supposed 220V? What about heat in the hands? Is it normal that even if I place palms over physical injury or body part where pain is felt, I feel weak to non-existent heat in hands?
Things like sweating and feeling of strong heat Laura described in first Wave series are for me ‘distant fantasy’.
(I also have to admit something which is not about Reiki but about Shamanic experiences and 'Burning questions'. I never had those. Yes I am 21 but never had anything similar. I started reading fourth installment of Wave series - first or second chapter - and Laura wrote in one of those that those who embraced 'shamanic path' should continue reading (or something simillar)...and I did not continue because I felt that I'm not on one and that I do not have these 'Burning questions' as G terms them. My life is generaly good, you know. Extravert+Low in neuroticism, going to university, learning skills on my own in spare time, have reasonably good parents and siblings, I'm ok with my girlfriend, problems here and there but it all gets solved if we talk with each other, sometimes have problems with speaking what I truly think but it's getting better(Autonomy type from HDTR). So, why would I ask such big questions? Do I have that feeling, that burning question which Laura had for herself, that she will lie her kids about the world they live in, that she will not be able to tell them the truth because even she doesn't know objective truth etc? No I don't. I get curious about something but that's it. I can read and I can inform myself about many things(Jung/Peterson/Wave/Shadow/History/Psychology...) but I cannot 'read' about shamanic path...I have to experiences it. I have to live it. But I don't even know what it is and even if I knew what it is I would only knew it theoretically plus be resentful for not living it...which is...again...not good. And when I try things like Reiki which are not 'ordinary' and they do not work aka. 'I feel no flow' than I get even more demotivated to even try to understand this 'Shamanic path', this 'not ordinary for many people' path and I accumulate feeling that these thing are not working for me...that I'm somehow disabled for them, that I don't have that 'something' which is needed for such path...I dunno)
Is it possible that some people cannot ‘download’ Reiki or that they have no ability like Candy from first Wave Series?
Do you have any advices for Reiki practising? How to know? How to enhance flow if it's even possible? etc..
Thank you all and sorry if my post is confusing…I am confused too.
P.S. In 95% of times I did not feel any flow when I placed my hands on head - my head or my girlfriends head. The really mild flow sensations I described earlier were felt when I placed my hands above the regions of first three 'chakras' - plexus - abdomen - genitals AND throat region (probably because I found out that I have a lot of resemblance with 'Autonomy type' from HDTR)
P.S.S. If moderators think that this thread should go to different category, please change it...I'm putting it for now in 'The Work'
I’m in big doubt about Reiki(first and second initiation) I recently received. Actually I don’t know if it’s problem in Reiki transmission or is it a problem in myself. Let’s start from initiations.
My Reiki teacher lineage is:
1. MIKAO USUI 2. CHUJIRO HAYASHI 3. HAWAYO TAKATA, 4.WANYA TWAN, 5. AYLA NORLAMO 6. IVANKA SAVIĆ 7. My teacher
I was not able to find any Reiki master in my country who has fewer people between them and Takata, plus they all have corrupted lineages (more than 80% is from L. Rand and Karuna Reiki from Germany or similar).
Only ‘red flag’ about my teacher was that she said that she experimented with initiation on distance and that it worked for her Reiki pupils and after that she continued with such practice regularly for people who are not able to visit her due to distance(majority).
So, I got my first initiation at distance even if I was able to visit her. (Yes I accepted that…).
Month and half later I received second Reiki initiation but in person. I insisted that I want it in person, not at distance and everything went OK. Symbols used are same as on James Deacon website and that’s not the problem.
My big concern is Reiki flow. Between first and second degree I felt no flow. I would lie if I said I felt ‘magnificent all healing Reiki flow through my hands’. Nothing compared to heating Reiki flow Laura described in the first Wave series. Actually I never felt that real HEAT from my hands. Maybe once or twice some really mild heat but that’s it.
Anyway, I took second degree in person and I can use symbols now. When I write them in the air or on my palms I can sense something like ‘energy streaming through my body’ but again…mildly AND not every time I do Reiki. Sometimes I do not even feel that.
My biggest concern is even if I relax, even if I write these symbols three times on my palms, especially cho-ku-rei, I cannot feels much difference in flow. I can say that something is happening but it’s all on the edge of wishful thinking. I don’t know if I’m tripping or if there is a real flow, real difference. As C’s said, I do not want to be a tool for the tool. Some Reiki practitioners and probably all ‘spritual mumbo-jumbo’ lads, would tell me I just need to have faith that it will work and it will work, that I just have to practice tralalalal. But c’mon, if something is objective it should work even if I I’m skeptic. Yes, I have intent but who cares about believing and faith?
Electric lamp switch will turn lamp on, if whole installation is correct, whether I believe in it or not. That’s objective.
How can I know that flow is objective and not a mild product of my imagination?
I also did Reiki on my girlfriend and she felt no flow at all. Something very very mild on specific body parts and that’s it. I also felt really mild heat on few occasions and that’s it. After some time she fell asleep. Actually, she had menstrual pain in abdomen (she rarely has one), I thought maybe Reiki there would help, but as I said I only felt mild flow in lower abdomen area and that’s it. Similar pain continued in her lower abdomen on next day.
You know…when things like this happen in a row I really become demotivated to continue practicing or I continue practicing but very rarely which is equivalent to not practicing.
Someone would say that I’m impatient, but what if I’m doing nothing?
Yes I’m impatient only because I do not want to turn this whole concept into wishful thinking, like:
I sit, I draw symbols, I channel Reiki -> I sit, I draw symbols, I THINK I channel Reiki
Than I’m no different than any other ‘spiritual mambo-jumbo just believe and have faith‘ fool. And I don’t want that. It’s not just that I don’t want that, I’m not able to become like that, for now . Especially in the domain of believing and faith.
I have a really strong rational and skeptic component of my mind and if something doesn’t work I simply CANNOT pretend that it works.
When I train in the gym, I’m not just doing my workout. I try to squeeze and feel as much pain and soreness as I can and if I succeed in that, workout is good. If I feels sore day after, that’s a sign that it works. If no pain/stretch/pump/soreness is present during workout and no soreness day after…it’s a no-no. Something has to be changed.
That’s also one of the reasons why I chose to do web programming as a primary job. You hit the button and you see if program works or not (yeah, there are always bugs and errors but you can see in few seconds if software works or if you have to change something).
But Reiki in my case…I simply don’t know. Does it work or not? Is this really mild and sometimes non-existent flow a real Reiki flow or just 10V compared to supposed 220V? What about heat in the hands? Is it normal that even if I place palms over physical injury or body part where pain is felt, I feel weak to non-existent heat in hands?
Things like sweating and feeling of strong heat Laura described in first Wave series are for me ‘distant fantasy’.
(I also have to admit something which is not about Reiki but about Shamanic experiences and 'Burning questions'. I never had those. Yes I am 21 but never had anything similar. I started reading fourth installment of Wave series - first or second chapter - and Laura wrote in one of those that those who embraced 'shamanic path' should continue reading (or something simillar)...and I did not continue because I felt that I'm not on one and that I do not have these 'Burning questions' as G terms them. My life is generaly good, you know. Extravert+Low in neuroticism, going to university, learning skills on my own in spare time, have reasonably good parents and siblings, I'm ok with my girlfriend, problems here and there but it all gets solved if we talk with each other, sometimes have problems with speaking what I truly think but it's getting better(Autonomy type from HDTR). So, why would I ask such big questions? Do I have that feeling, that burning question which Laura had for herself, that she will lie her kids about the world they live in, that she will not be able to tell them the truth because even she doesn't know objective truth etc? No I don't. I get curious about something but that's it. I can read and I can inform myself about many things(Jung/Peterson/Wave/Shadow/History/Psychology...) but I cannot 'read' about shamanic path...I have to experiences it. I have to live it. But I don't even know what it is and even if I knew what it is I would only knew it theoretically plus be resentful for not living it...which is...again...not good. And when I try things like Reiki which are not 'ordinary' and they do not work aka. 'I feel no flow' than I get even more demotivated to even try to understand this 'Shamanic path', this 'not ordinary for many people' path and I accumulate feeling that these thing are not working for me...that I'm somehow disabled for them, that I don't have that 'something' which is needed for such path...I dunno)
Is it possible that some people cannot ‘download’ Reiki or that they have no ability like Candy from first Wave Series?
Do you have any advices for Reiki practising? How to know? How to enhance flow if it's even possible? etc..
Thank you all and sorry if my post is confusing…I am confused too.
P.S. In 95% of times I did not feel any flow when I placed my hands on head - my head or my girlfriends head. The really mild flow sensations I described earlier were felt when I placed my hands above the regions of first three 'chakras' - plexus - abdomen - genitals AND throat region (probably because I found out that I have a lot of resemblance with 'Autonomy type' from HDTR)
P.S.S. If moderators think that this thread should go to different category, please change it...I'm putting it for now in 'The Work'