Experiencing physical pain from WWII

[Mikey]

This is a story about recent developments in my life. It is a bit lengthy, so please excuse, but it is necessary to understand what was going on. I felt, that I have to write it down and share it, because it is very intensive:

In the course of the last 5 or 6 years, I went to psychokinesiological therapy to improve my mental und physical state.
Psycho-kinesiology is a subset of Applied Kinesiology which helps to diagnose psychic problems via a muscle test. Shortly explained, your body can be asked questions, and with assistance of the therapist your body answers "yes" and "no" via the manual muscle test.
This therapy is based on the scientific work of Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt and the work in the field of Familiy Constellations by Bert Hellinger. I assisted my therapy by detoxicating my body mainly from mercury (amalgam) with help from natural herbs.

So far so good.

In the last year I had plenty of time for myself and for observing my dreams. I seldom had nightmares or similar things in my life. 2 Months ago, I started to have very bad dreams and always woke up so anxious that I did not dare to move only one millimeter. The wake-ups were accompanied by heat and sweating of my body and sometimes with tears. Initially I thought that the UFO and alien abduction stories from Laura in "The Wave II" would do me no good, because I read them always before I went to bed. I began to write the content of the dreams down and went back to my therapist, asking about the content.

By muscle-test aided asking, we found that the cause of the dreams lies in the history of my great-grandfather. I did not know anything about him except that he had died soon and was a beloved father.

The dreams continued and one day I wrote down:

"I went out of the house and saw my dad sitting in my car, smoking one cigarette after the other. [strange: my dad does not smoke] He was agitated and troubled. He said, that he did not want to go back to this town. He was there once, but he did not want to go back. He said, that in the town there were persons killed, and that the spirits/ghosts [of them] reside in a church. [Both in the dream and in reality] I began to cry and run back into the house, where my mother was. I could not stand any longer and I fell down to the floor. I begged that someone should help me, help me ... [Waking up, crying, extreme fear, heat]"

There continued to be two or three similar dreams, in which I experienced pain by penetrating needles or stitch by-stich sewing on my own body! I saw persons, that had wounded and broken their faces. I saw frozen bodies with blood all over.

My therapist tested, and again these dreams were related to the history of my great-grandfather.

One day, I asked my grandmother about my great-grandfather (grandmother's dad). She told me, that he was a motorist/driver in WWII [compare: my dad sitting in a car]. That he transported the dead and wounded soldiers back from the front back to the sick bays. That he saw the wounded [compare: pain from needles, etc.] That he could not stand the psychic burden of his "job" and went to the floor several times.[compare to dream].

My mouth went wide open.

I could not tell my grandmother about it. She would not understand that I had experienced things, which her dad had seen. And I can not tell it anybody of my familiy soon. Maybe in the future.

Please note that I did not know anyting about my great-grandfather! I dreamt things, wrote them down. And then, my grandmother confirmed for me what I experienced. It was not only the story of my great-grandfather but also the pain from the soldiers around him. According to my therapist, in WWII it was usual to treat the wounded without anesthetics. That means, that they consciously felt needles and all kind of tools.

What ist the crux? Bert Hellinger explains it like this:
A family is like a whole person. Issues/events of the past are conserved as long as it is not consciously dealt with them. This can sometimes lead to recurrences/iterations of events, if they are toally forgotten or suppressed. Example: Iterated Abortion of the unborn in the sequence of generations. I personally know one family were abortion was carried out in every generation since FOUR generations. And it probably will happen again, as long noone picks up this huge pain, mourning and anger.

At present, I have similar dreams every night. In my last I cried together with my mother. And it will probably happen again and again until I understand completely what was going on in the past of my family.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Marie]

Well, that is surely a very interesting and unusual story; hope it wasn't too hard on you.

A family is like a whole person. Issues/events of the past are conserved as long as it is not consciously dealt with them. This can sometimes lead to recurrences/iterations of events, if they are toally forgotten or suppressed.

This really struck me because I have recently been able to observe this. Here goes:

A few weeks ago I was sitting in the living room with my mom - talking. Suddenly she starts on a whole different subject: her problems with her own mom (my Oma) and that's where my jaw dropped: every word she used, every sentence, every nuance, was so completely and entirely applicable to our own relationship that I thought she had drawn a parallel and was telling me about it. Turns out she hadn't and wasn't, she was just telling me her own view of her mom, and she probably never even considered that it was a mirror image of my view of her.

On the more general side, I know it happened at least a few times that I would do something without much of an idea of why I did it, then find that action conformed almost perfectly with a pattern or archetype previously established in my family. Especially I seem to be more closely bound to two specific people in that way. I am not sure of how this works, but it helped make me conscious of how mechanical I was/am, that what I would sometimes call originality was really a reaction to stimuli I just happened not to be conscious of.

Anyways to make a long story short, I think there is a lot more to this family stuff that meets the eye; thanks for bringing it up.

 

[Mikey]

Thanks Marie.

... I think there is a lot more to this family stuff that meets the eye; thanks for bringing it up.

For everyone of you who notice that in their families is something not like it should be, I warmly recommend reading Bert Hellinger. Although he deals with deep love and connections in families, it is *not* like new age love/light crap.

Actually I went trough a series of crises when events of my past were brought up to the surface. These include my trauma of the near death of my young brother, the abortion of my father's brother, the early death of my mum's sister. My near death in a water pit, however, is still not on the surface.

This may sound like a very dark and problematic sitation. But we are a rather ordinary and harmonic family and I observed, that things are similar in others. It is just me that looks in areas where others don't want to. There are reasons why such terrible things happen. Then, everything makes sense. Understanding and Love replace distance and grief.

It is only after digging rather deep that more and more issues were revealed. I explain it as "transducing/releasing accumulated energy/information", in fuzzy terms. It is a bumpy road to deal with the past. In one rare kind of a dream my great-gradfather told me that what I am doing is important. This is good to know, but I still do not know where the path leads to.