Ok, well after that premise I'll get to the problem itself. This past day or so and at times in the past I've experienced all kinds of weird sensations throughout my body and it's gotten to the point where it's getting overwhelming, I'm not sure what's going on but it's unpleasant and painful and makes it difficult to relax. I feel stressed and fear going to sleep, it's torturous to sum it up in a word and I'm not sure what to do. I can only imagine it's some kind of 4D STS interference but that's about as close as I think I can get to it without inviting ideas of persecutory grandiosity, so there it is.
I am glad that you've brought up the medical angle since I do have some input on that. Since 2015 or so I've made several medical visits about this and some unrelated symptoms that have yielded no conclusive answers thus far; all the test results look "normal", from brain to heart to nerve function. I've tried describing these sensations to the doctors I've seen but to no avail, they haven't had many answers. I can't think of describing it as anything else than a powerful malevolent force pressing down upon my body, it's like my brain and nervous system are being stressed or zapped at a low rate continually. The term "jamming", as in like electrical jamming, comes to my mind as a decent description. It interrupts any stillness of mind I might have and makes it hard to really relax, as mentioned in my opening post.
I've also had similar electrical sensations beginning with my own spiritual awakening more recently. As you describe JeanneT, I wouldn't think of these as being negative in any sense, even if at times it is strong or a little uncomfortable. The problem I'm experiencing is one of a strikingly negative character, insistent and unrelenting, and I've tried to put it into words in the paragraph above. I hope you'll excuse my briefness, I'm just at wit's end to describe it, I feel.
Hi Lathyrus,
I'm trying to make sense of what you said is going on with you:
- electrical sensations all over / weird sensations throughout body / "it's like my brain and nervous system are
being stressed or zapped at a low rate continually. The term "jamming", as in like electrical jamming".
- it's gotten to the point where it's getting
overwhelming
- makes it difficult to relax
- interrupts any stillness of mind
- feel stressed
- it's unpleasant and
painful
-
fear going to sleep
-
strikingly negative character, insistent and unrelenting
-
powerful malevolent force pressing down upon your body
- it's
torturous
Some of it, like unpleasant, stressed and difficult to relax, doesn't seem all that uncommon or troublesome. But other things like fear of going to sleep, painful, overwhelming, insistent and unrelenting, powerful malevolent force and torturous really caught my attention.
I have never experienced something I would call an electrical jamming, but I can relate to the way you describe its effects on you. I'm working on a post telling the whole story, which is proving difficult and painful in itself, but in a nutshell I'm reasonably convinced I was one of the covertly antagonistic members mentioned in the sessions from a few years back. I might be reading too much into your description or just projecting but you can take a look at those sessions to see if it rings a bell (
Session 21 March 2015 and
Session 16 July 2016, particularly about negative thoughts and the STS feeding tube). In terms of what I felt on my body it was mostly a ridiculous amount of negativity and pressure, as if there was a overwhelmingly heavy blanket of darkness on top of me, with some boulders on top just to make sure. Instead of jamming or zapped, I felt psychologically attacked and drained. It eventually became really torturous. At the same time that I wanted to sleep and rest I dreaded going to bed, I stayed awake for as long as possible hoping to just collapse from exhaustion.
I hope that what you're going through is not just a variation of the same process and, even if it is, that you'll have an easier way out of the problem, which I think you will, because you already did what I did not and came here for help, but in any case I would like to point out some things that might be useful to you:
- Notice what thoughts are going through your head while experiencing or around the time of the jamming. Not what you wish to think about, but what actually is going through your head even if you don't want it. Pay attention to its content, it might give you a glimpse of the source of the problem.
- Notice the emotions you feel while experiencing the jamming or around its arising. From your description they are clearly negative, but you might be able to get more precise in this observation and identify specific emotions that are coming up. It is more likely than not that your thoughts and emotions will reflect one another, so you can try to observe them both and how they relate.
- Look for specific triggers that make the jamming appear. It could be anything, a particular person, a behavior, a recurring life situation, a recurring emotion or set of thoughts etc.
- Look for changes you might have made in your life or that have happened to you that might relate to what you're going through now.
- It might not be just one thing that causes it, but a mosaic of things that together lead to the problem.
- Keep notes or a journal of what's going on with you, it can help you connect the dots.
- Remember that we are more resilient than we usually think. You have noticed a problem and you're working towards its solution.
You say it is difficult to describe it, you feel it. You can try writing about it a little at a time. Even if it doesn't make much sense in the beginning, you can just put on paper whatever is occurring to you, the ideas and feelings that naturally relate to what you're going through. Over time it tends to get more coherent and clear.
I hope there is something in the above to help you find a fruitful path out of your predicament.