Dealing with a threat

[the rabbit]

As some one once said "its not a game" and sometimes these shocks to the system may come at a time when one is in need of one. Not saying in this case Foofighter that you where sleeping in , though I know you know what I mean.

Nothing like a reminder to test ones resolve , a negative turned into a positive thing.

 

[aurora]

Foofighter, you say:
"Just out of the blue. At first I didn't know how to react. Was he saying what I thought he was saying!? Who in Israel could claim to be big "fans" of me and "know all about me" and then implicitly threaten me? And for what reason? Because I read this site? Because I have the "wrong" thoughts?"

I think you are filling in the blanks here. Do you think that reading this site is dangerous somehow, given your line of business ?? There are a lot of unknowns here.. What have you talked with this guy ? We do not know that either.. Maybe he is just pulling your leg, or doing it on purpose to scare you and make you go off balance somehow so that you quit your job. Or he is trying to get some feedback from you and use it against you, again for the purpose of making you quit.

They must have learned everything about you and your family too by now, this is routine security clearance. And the sites that you read should not be a problem or so I think. Try to learn more about this guy. Knowledge protects.

 

[Ruth]

That's about it. Any ideas on how to approach this? I'm fresh out...

I suppose you asked him to explain exactly what he meant by his comment? He may have been joking, or maybe not. It would have been good if you'd tried to find out.

Sorry, I see you have mentioned that you asked whether there was something particular about your work that they enjoyed. That probably wasn't a very specific question. Being blunt may work better, something like a "please explain exactly what you mean by this comment"..... "is this a THREAT of some sort?"

 

[foofighter]

A few more comments. Again, thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated!

In my thinking, I would simply remain calm and think about what is it that you alone
could have possibly done or possess so as to draw their attention towards you?

As already mentioned, I have some idea of this, but it's always difficult to know for sure. I don't know anything for sure anymore. As Keit said, it might even be nothing at all here, and all of this is my own fear filling in the blanks, as Aurora said. All possibilities are open! Oh well.

i ask myself a trivial simple as a log question - Well, Laura who was and is DOING is still alive, ark - the same, Darren (that's the big kicker!) who DID the Pentagon Flash - is still alive - so What did YOU DO to run in fear for your so precious life?' This works wonders with me. Hope that can help you too.

You're right, that is a good reminder. Again, all of this is probably my fear making something out of nothing. It was still "real" in some sense, meaning, I had to do something with it, look at and figure this out, but like the monster under the bed it goes away when you check it out.

The plan is to "warn" you about Israel, in one way or the other, in order to spark your overall interest in these people and Israel. You probably wouldn't have thought twice about going there but now all of a sudden your interest may be piqued.

Interesting idea. Like a mental virus or trojan of sorts. As far as I can tell though my interest is about the same as before, that is non-existant

As some one once said "its not a game" and sometimes these shocks to the system may come at a time when one is in need of one. Not saying in this case Foofighter that you where sleeping in , though I know you know what I mean.

LOL, yeah I have a vague memory of someone saying something like that I know what you mean...

I think you are filling in the blanks here. Do you think that reading this site is dangerous somehow, given your line of business ??

My past experience is that, yes, it's not exactly politically correct in my line of business. But it's a double edged sword, because at the same time I have noticed that I am not the only one in my circle of peers who is frustrated with the current situation. But you are correct in that in this case I think I was filling in the blanks unnecessarily.

There are a lot of unknowns here.. What have you talked with this guy ? We do not know that either.. Maybe he is just pulling your leg, or doing it on purpose to scare you and make you go off balance somehow so that you quit your job. Or he is trying to get some feedback from you and use it against you, again for the purpose of making you quit.

I don't think he's trying to get me to quit. At this point I really don't know anything. We'll meet again sometime, so I'll just have to see what happens then, if he brings it up again or something.

Being blunt may work better, something like a "please explain exactly what you mean by this comment"..... "is this a THREAT of some sort?"

mmm... but if it wasn't I just wrecked a good business relationship. Not a good idea IMO.

So much to think about...

 

[Mr. Premise]

It could have been an innocent comment, meaning be careful, that is a dangerous part of the world. Just throwing that out there, because I agree that the way it was said was alarming, but in cases like this it's impossible to know what the other person knows. And, generally speaking, it's best to stay away from that part of the world if you have a choice.

 

[Ruth]

Being blunt may work better, something like a "please explain exactly what you mean by this comment"..... "is this a THREAT of some sort?"

mmm... but if it wasn't I just wrecked a good business relationship. Not a good idea IMO.

What type of 'business relationship' is this? One that doesn't communicate honestly? If this person has heard something that threatens you and refuses to tell you, then he obviously does not have your best interests at heart. Does he consider himself as your competitor on some level (possibly karmic)? Does he want to 'do better' than you, and thinks to 'put you off your game'....?

I reccon you need to have a good think about what a good 'business relationship' actually means to you and what a potential 'trap' some other persons idea of a 'good business relationship' can be. Obviously, it wouldn't be a bad thing to ruin a perfectly good 'business relationship' it that so called 'business relationship' was set up to destroy you. You only have to look at how Laura and Ark avoided this trap to know.

Ask yourself - what is the worst thing that can happen? And look at why and at what your fear is based on. Fear is a very great 'controller' of people most times. Getting rid of that fear will mean that the 'control' is not as good - but not that the situation becomes any less dangerous, because sometimes once that 'control' goes, things often become a lot MORE dangerous....

 

[Renaissance]

What type of 'business relationship' is this? One that doesn't communicate honestly?

Ruth, I have to say when I read your initial response I was a little taken aback, although not fully surprised, by your lack of consideration. Have you read the posts that show how this could be an innocent message? And importantly, if it isn't innocent, why are you urging foofighter into a confrontation?

 

[JGeropoulas]

Just some thoughts:

Seems if your business associate is going to act as if he's your caring friend (i.e. warn you of danger), then that should make it completely appropriate for you then to ask follow-up questions in order to gain clarity about his cryptic message--in order to avoid fear and maintain peace of mind. If he will not discuss it further, then he doesn't care about your peace of mind. If he minimizes it now that he's ignited your fears, I'd re-evaluate his motives and where (or if) this person belongs in your life.

The whole scenario could be viewed most simply as "gossip," which by nature is confusing and destructive. The best way to manage such gossip situations is to resist such discussions unless the "tale-bearer" agrees to include all parties being cited in the discussion.

If you find yourself already in the middle of one of these "triangles" of gossip, you must extract yourself to avoid being further triangulated (sounds a lot like "strangulated"). The aim is to transform such "triangular" communication circuits into "circular" communication circuits. That way, all persons involved are in the loop--identified, accountable to each other--thus minimizing secrets, exploitation, and distortion of the truth--all essential for minimizing fear.

 

[Ruth]

What type of 'business relationship' is this? One that doesn't communicate honestly?

Ruth, I have to say when I read your initial response I was a little taken aback, although not fully surprised, by your lack of consideration. Have you read the posts that show how this could be an innocent message? And importantly, if it isn't innocent, why are you urging foofighter into a confrontation?

A 'confrontation' with oneself is always most revealing.

These are some questions that foofighter can ask himself, if that is what he wishes. Being open and frank with another helps in communication and I think that foofighter is quite within his rights to expect any business partner or even collegue to be open and frank with him.

If there isn't this openess or frankness, then there is always a fertile breeding ground for deceit, manipulation and betrayal. I'm really not sure how one would be "considerate" under those circumstances! Perhaps trying to avoid the situation in the first place is the key?

You must think I'm over reacting by wanting the truth? I know I would be very frustrated at being told something which sounded like inuendo and not knowing what was really going on, especially if it was a potential threat. Its been a while since I saw goodness in everyone and not the 'problems'.

 

[Mr. Premise]

Very often it is not wise to be open and frank with people.

If there isn't this openess or frankness, then there is always a fertile breeding ground for deceit, manipulation and betrayal. I'm really not sure how one would be "considerate" under those circumstances! Perhaps trying to avoid the situation in the first place is the key?

 

[foofighter]

Very often it is not wise to be open and frank with people.

In this particular situation I think that is precisely the case, both becuase of the possible innocense of the entire situation, and also because I have a whole bunch of other people to consider. If it was only me to consider I might have had the luxury to be "frank" (which would most likely be interpreted as "rude", but that's another point), but I don't. 'Nuff said.

 

[CarpeDiem]

If there isn't this openess or frankness, then there is always a fertile breeding ground for deceit, manipulation and betrayal. I'm really not sure how one would be "considerate" under those circumstances!

I'm a bit lost here, maybe it's just my sloppiness with ESL. Is openess and frankness synonymous with truthfullness or not?
So i went to wiki:

frankness - The state of being frank; candour; honesty.

honest [wiki]:
1. of a person or institution) scrupulous with regard to telling the truth; not given to swindling, lying, or fraud [Has the president been honest with us?]
2. (of a statement) true, esp. true as far as the knowledge of the person making the statement.
3. in good faith; without malice [an honest mistake]
4. fair; unbiased [an honest account of events]
5. (of measurement devices) accurate [an honest scale]
6. veritable; full [an honest day's work]
7. upright, truthful, fair
Translations
scrupulous with regard to telling the truth

I well maybe wrong here, but I don’t understand how in the world I can DARE to request (or demand) others of being frank / honest / truthful with me if i am untruthful within myself in the first place? This in itself makes any requests to others not to lie quite obsolete osit.
There are intentional lies, when one is aware in advance that false and untruthful information (or partial truth) is being given to other person/s to misled and deceive them; and there are unintentional lies when one isn’t aware of. That’s what this magical place is for.
There was a discussion between Fifth Way and Anart about what the Truth is, like in march-feb last year, I try to retrieve it

 

[Ruth]

Very often it is not wise to be open and frank with people.

If this is interpreted as rudeness or even being overtly confrontational, then one should consider subtlety, I think. There are various ways of getting information out of people. Some of these take a while, but are not necessarily deceptive in they way they are done.

A person can either pursue a problem, or not, depending on what they think is the best course of action.

 

[kenlee]

sure. I don't know anything for sure anymore. As Keit said, it might even be nothing at all here, and all of this is my own fear filling in the blanks, as Aurora said. All possibilities are open! Oh well.

This is, Imo, a good attitude to take. Your reaction machine might be (to paraphrase Gurdjieff) making a 'flea into an elephant and an elephant into a flea'. First I'd say to just get your facts (just the facts Maam!). Second, study and observe the nature of your inner reaction(s) concerning this situation, since this reaction can and will be exploited by the General Law. This last point is significant since it is the nature of the reaction machine to make things topsy turvy if unsupervised by the higher critical faculties of the mind.

 

[Beau]

Very often it is not wise to be open and frank with people.

If this is interpreted as rudeness or even being overtly confrontational, then one should consider subtlety, I think.

Unfortunately, being subtle and being frank are on opposite ends of spectrum in regards to interpersonal interaction. That's like trying to have your cake and to eat it too. Also, very often frankness is interpreted as being rude after one has spoken, so it's difficult to ameliorate the other person's feelings by attempting subtle tactics after the fact.