ironjam628
The Force is Strong With This One
There are a few times in the transcripts where depression is mentioned, mostly identified as an 'attack' by 4th density STS forces. I have clinical depression, and find it necessary to take medication for it. Many times in the past 10 years(since I was diagnosed) I have gone on and off meds as I do not like them and fear that while it treats my symptoms, I can't help feeling that they may shut me off from deepening my spirituality. But going off of the meds has been problematic at best. You cannot believe the utter despair I feel, and how "primal" I get. I'm not violent, nor ever will be, but when I am depressed, I have no tolerance for people or their weird ways(i.e.programming?). Retreating to nature is the only way to mitigate these awful feelings. Road rage is not who I am!! But while I still retain an inherent compassion for most things(my true nature, as it were(I hope!)), when I get into that negative state I find myself thinking aggressive STS thoughts that I can't control mentally(although I am NEVER outwardly violent). So am I doomed? I'm not fearful for my life, or fearful in general, for that matter, about anything that may come to pass per the Transcripts. I have already decided that the Earth is what is important and I am willing to give my tiny little life if it helps her(I may sound like a nutjob, but I made this decision with a clear head and a logical mind). But my question is, if I can't live without the meds (poison?), how can I expect to evolve my nature, or ascend, when I am stuck in some primitive self-centered EGO I can't control(mentally)?