Advice for my girlfriend on panic-attacks

[MatiaS]

I'm starting this thread to maybe get some advice on my partners health situation and recommendations on possible steps she could take to improve her situation.

She hasn't experienced any major health related hick-ups earlier in life apart from headaches, iron-deficiency (possibly related to the current situation) and having had a harmless cyst removed from the throat/neck area at the age of 17. She's currently 33 and she gave birth to our third child about 3 months ago, so she's still breastfeeding.

The current situation could be said to have started about a month ago, when she experienced rectal bleeding one morning, and the amount of blood prompted us to go to the emergency room. The conclusion of this visit was that it was a burst hemorrhoid and the doctor was quite certain it was because of recently giving birth. He prescribed some multivitamins (Femibion) which we reluctantly got from the pharmacy (knowing a lot of the mainstream over-the-counter supplements tend to not be great).

This incident, mostly provided as a possibly relevant piece of background information, has since made her think a lot about her state of health, and mostly how out of shape she is. She has a predominantly sedentary lifestyle, working from home (writing on the computer) and not really getting any form of regular exercise. I remember other occasions in the past years when she goes into these hypochondriac-thoughts, imagining all kinds of worst case scenarios about her health.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, while we were just chilling and watching a movie after the kids were asleep, she went into a panic-attack with all the related symptoms. She had experienced one earlier this summer as a result of a "social drama"-situation in our community where she felt she was unfairly treated.

That other time it was just a "one and done" kind of deal but this time the anxiety seems to be lingering in the background more or less every day since the first full-blown attack. She's everyday experiencing feelings of, in her words, "not getting enough oxygen", as if her breathing is too shallow. She also experiences some kind of heat in her body which signals the onset of more panic-attack related symptoms.

She thinks stress is one contributing factor, having deadlines to meet with her work, and living an off-grid lifestyle with 3 small children who need attention and care.

We almost went to the hospital one night because she was feeling so bad. Then again, last night, while I was sleeping, she was packing a bag, preparing to go to the hospital, but decided to try to fall asleep one more time, after having been up for hours, trying to calm herself down, and finally fell asleep.

She also feels weak and tired sometimes, something what I would more chalk up to blood sugar levels.

Her diet is a mixed bag at the moment, not the greatest but not as bad as it could be.

I've attached a picture of the blood sample they took when we were at the hospital for the bleeding incident I mentioned at the start. Maybe someone with more knowledge about it could point out any values that could be a contributing factor to these panic-attacks. With some internet searches we were able to see that iron deficiency is at least a possible negative factor which could maybe be a contributing factor.

I tried recommending EE breathing for her but she says she doesn't want to do any kind of breathing pattern that requires her to hold her breath, because this apparently exacerbates and brings on the feeling of panic and not being able to breath properly.

Any kind of advice on how to alleviate the situation will be greatly appreciated, as her mental state is currently suffering a lot from these anxieties.

 

[Mari]

I‘m sorry to read about your girlfriend‘s problems.

Did she have some birth trauma that prevented her breathing or perhaps some childhood trauma? Pipe breathing would calm her but looks like her issues run deeper then just physical.

Did she try maybe meditative part of EE or any meditation?

Perhaps to try with some light yoga where she would have to control her breath but not necessarily have to hold it; i.e. doing Sun Salutation 4-6 times in a row every day.

Getting the diet sorted out is also a factor, it would eliminate food related bodily reactions.

And why is she working? Isn’t she supposed to be on maternaty leave, concerning that you have a only 3 months old baby?

 

[Oxajil]

Then, about 2 weeks ago, while we were just chilling and watching a movie after the kids were asleep, she went into a panic-attack with all the related symptoms. She had experienced one earlier this summer as a result of a "social drama"-situation in our community where she felt she was unfairly treated.

I'm sorry to hear that, MatiaS. I think your girlfriend could benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy with a focus on panic attacks. There's some info on it here (in Romanian): Link.

 

[Amor]

I'm starting this thread to maybe get some advice on my partners health situation and recommendations on possible steps she could take to improve her situation.

She hasn't experienced any major health related hick-ups earlier in life apart from headaches, iron-deficiency (possibly related to the current situation) and having had a harmless cyst removed from the throat/neck area at the age of 17. She's currently 33 and she gave birth to our third child about 3 months ago, so she's still breastfeeding.

The current situation could be said to have started about a month ago, when she experienced rectal bleeding one morning, and the amount of blood prompted us to go to the emergency room. The conclusion of this visit was that it was a burst hemorrhoid and the doctor was quite certain it was because of recently giving birth. He prescribed some multivitamins (Femibion) which we reluctantly got from the pharmacy (knowing a lot of the mainstream over-the-counter supplements tend to not be great).

This incident, mostly provided as a possibly relevant piece of background information, has since made her think a lot about her state of health, and mostly how out of shape she is. She has a predominantly sedentary lifestyle, working from home (writing on the computer) and not really getting any form of regular exercise. I remember other occasions in the past years when she goes into these hypochondriac-thoughts, imagining all kinds of worst case scenarios about her health.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, while we were just chilling and watching a movie after the kids were asleep, she went into a panic-attack with all the related symptoms. She had experienced one earlier this summer as a result of a "social drama"-situation in our community where she felt she was unfairly treated.

That other time it was just a "one and done" kind of deal but this time the anxiety seems to be lingering in the background more or less every day since the first full-blown attack. She's everyday experiencing feelings of, in her words, "not getting enough oxygen", as if her breathing is too shallow. She also experiences some kind of heat in her body which signals the onset of more panic-attack related symptoms.

She thinks stress is one contributing factor, having deadlines to meet with her work, and living an off-grid lifestyle with 3 small children who need attention and care.

We almost went to the hospital one night because she was feeling so bad. Then again, last night, while I was sleeping, she was packing a bag, preparing to go to the hospital, but decided to try to fall asleep one more time, after having been up for hours, trying to calm herself down, and finally fell asleep.

She also feels weak and tired sometimes, something what I would more chalk up to blood sugar levels.

Her diet is a mixed bag at the moment, not the greatest but not as bad as it could be.

I've attached a picture of the blood sample they took when we were at the hospital for the bleeding incident I mentioned at the start. Maybe someone with more knowledge about it could point out any values that could be a contributing factor to these panic-attacks. With some internet searches we were able to see that iron deficiency is at least a possible negative factor which could maybe be a contributing factor.

I tried recommending EE breathing for her but she says she doesn't want to do any kind of breathing pattern that requires her to hold her breath, because this apparently exacerbates and brings on the feeling of panic and not being able to breath properly.

Any kind of advice on how to alleviate the situation will be greatly appreciated, as her mental state is currently suffering a lot from these anxieties.

View attachment 82493

I have nothing to say to the blood test but I was there when it comes to shortness of breath panic attacks. Also I noticed that there was some reluctency in conveying about the diet or lack of detail on your part which doesnt help much when it comes to giving feedback. What helped me is getting vitamin b supplements. These are crucial when it comes to atp, oxygenation. Also vitamin C. Iron deficiency can be a sign of low Vit C actually.

 

[T.C.]

The main things to focus on that she can actually control is diet and exercise. Walking for 1hr per day is recommended in stress and anxiety because it reduces cortisol. Avoiding as much processed food as possible.

Cutting out caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine should be pretty obvious, but alcohol is insidious because it suppresses the nervous system and the brain compensates for that by taking measures which then make the nervous system more sensitive, or hyper-sensitive, in the long-term.

The CBT could really help since there is a positive feedback loop which happens when you start worrying about how you feel. How you feel makes you worry, the worry increases the anxiety, the anxiety increases the worry.

A stable circadian rhythm is also important. Getting enough sleep at the same time each night, but getting good quality sleep too. Restrictive dieting is not recommended for a highly stressed or anxious person. She should try to eat three good meals a day if possible, preferably around the same time.

This could also be vagus nerve related. If she doesn’t want to do breathing exercises, there are other ways of improving vagal tone that you guys could look into if you search online and on YouTube. These include lifestyle changes and different kinds of exercises, cold showers, but there are also electronic devices that you can buy or rent that produce a low electrical stimulus on the skin which stimulates the vagus nerve. The other symptoms like fluctuations in body temperature and blood sugar, lethargy, nausea, can also be caused by a vagus nerve problem since the vagus is the Ethernet cable between the organs and the brain and if it’s not working properly and the wrong signals are going to the brain, then the brain will tell the body things like “we need more oxygen in the muscles, increase the heart rate!” when there’s actually no reason to.

EMFs in the environment can also cause these same kinds of symptoms and cause the body to become permanently stressed. Making or buying a grounding sheet to sleep on and mitigating EMF exposure might help.

Mediation and prayer will also help.

 

[fifty_five]

Sorry for that. Two cents. I leave the medical aspect to those more skilled than me. As for the rest, instinctively I would say, overhelmed. Too much pressure. hypermentalization (monkey like) and call for help. Dangerous under these conditions extreme breathing exercises. Instead, slow, belly breathing, with tongue attached to palate 24/7. Grounding. For the practical side. How old are the other two children? Is there any way to help her with daily management so that she "can breathe"?

 

[Dylou]

Hello MatiaS, I'm sorry to hear about your partner's poor health. I wish her a speedy recovery.
The symptoms you describe seem to correspond to post-partum depression. This happens after childbirth and the accumulation of fatigue...
I advise you to look at your language's website to determine whether this is what your partner is suffering from.
Courage to both of you and your three children.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

The symptoms you describe seem to correspond to post-partum depression. This happens after childbirth and the accumulation of fatigue...

I was going to suggest that also. Post-birth hormonal fluctuations, possibly causing anxiety. She could try some evening primrose oil to help stabilize things.

 

[Leelee]

I agree as well, it definitely sounds postpartum related, especially since it's only been 3 months since the new baby. I've never experienced it, but my very good friend developed the most awful panic disorder due to postpartum after her third child was born. (she had no incidents at all after the first two births) I think in some people there are drastic hormone fluctuations that are not balancing out correctly or fast enough. Anyway, my friend battled that condition for a little over a year, but I can't recall her getting any specific help except for the drs telling her that the panic was related to postpartum depression and "would eventually go". Hopefully you can find some treatment to help your girlfriend move through it more quickly. Good luck.

 

[loreta]

Panic attacks are terrible, you feel like you're going to die. I'm sorry this happened to your partner.

Apart from medical and psychological advice, it's important to always carry a paper bag with you so that you can breathe into it when a panic attack occurs. Then Dr. Bach's Rescue Remedy. Breathing exercises are important, they calm. Yoga can help.

I hope your partner improves her situation. You don't die from a panic attack, but a panic attack is a sign, and you have to listen to it because it has something to tell you.

 

[SOTTREADER]

You said she's out of shape. Perhaps her getting into some regular routine with exercise will help. From what you said it doesn't sound like her diet is the worst but of course she can watch not to consume the wrong things whilst struggling against this e.g. caffeine.

Sounds like she needs to look at her work / life balance. Perhaps she can look to organise herself such that deadlines and work demands don't seem stressful e.g. she can forward plan, see if she can delegate some stuff etc.

Finally, fortifying her knowledge on psychological states such as anxiety and panic attacks probably can only be a good thing? No immediate books or authors come to mind but some may have good recommendations.

Ps, hopefully you also help her with the kids and house chores!!

 

[Joe]

The main things to focus on that she can actually control is diet and exercise. Walking for 1hr per day is recommended in stress and anxiety because it reduces cortisol.

I second this, and also suggest she get her cortisol tested. She'll need to do it before 9am and before eating.

Mediation and prayer will also help.

This too will undoubtedly be helpful. 5 mins or so per day, going somewhere quite to sit and just breathe, longer outbreaths than in slow the heart rate. She could try some kind of 'mantra' or repetitive phrase or prayer that she likes.

 

[lostinself]

That other time it was just a "one and done" kind of deal but this time the anxiety seems to be lingering in the background more or less every day since the first full-blown attack. She's everyday experiencing feelings of, in her words, "not getting enough oxygen", as if her breathing is too shallow.

Causes aside, this sounds a lot like hyperventilation syndrome which often accompanies anxiety disorders. There are ways to deal with it and even if they alone don't do much, being aware of such a thing should have a calming effect.

 

[Cristal]

Hi! I am also Romanian and ,although I don't live there anymore,I know the stress and pressure women have to face once they have children. People around you tend to be very judgemental and anything you do might not be good enough.
Is she breastfeeding? In that case some good vitamins are need. In Spain they recommend mothers to take breastfeeding vitamins. They are similar to the pregnancy ones. And the good ones have Omega 3 which can also help with the depression and anxiery. How is her level of vitamin D?A doctor told me that I should check my vit D level when I had my post-partum depression. By then my son was 1 year old and my levels of vit D were very low.
You mentioned that your girlfriend is 33 years old. Was she born in 1990? I remember that year as being a very bleak and stressful one. I was only 7 ,but I remember the uncertainty and tension that was in the air. Maybe her mom was stressed out during her pregnancy and/or while breastfeeding. I know that certain situations can trigger emotions one felt while a fetus or a small child. I know It from my experience(I also noticed that sometimes I react the same way my mom used to react when I was little,although apparently the situation was not exactly the same, but got somehow recorded in my subconcious). Maybe you could ask your mother-in-law whether she had panic attacks.
How old are your other 2 children? Did she get some sleep and rest during her pregnancy? If not much, maybe she is extremly exhausted. I remember that after a while of sleep depravation It was very dificult to relax and stop thinking. My mind would just go on and on and that would create more stress etc
Maybe she could start with something very simple and easy ,like taking a bath with 2 kg of coarse salt. If she's religious ,a prayer might help. What helps me sometimes is visualizing the issues/problems/concerns and putting them on an imaginary tray , releasing it to God and asking for the best outcome possible.That takes a some pressure from my mind.
Try giving her more time for herself. Maybe you could try to takeover more house chores and spend more time with the other 2 children.And a hug can help a lot. Being a mother can be overwhelming. Greetings

 

[Turgon]

I tried recommending EE breathing for her but she says she doesn't want to do any kind of breathing pattern that requires her to hold her breath, because this apparently exacerbates and brings on the feeling of panic and not being able to breath properly.

Sorry to hear your wife is going through this. One thing that may help as soon as she experiences another episode is the 'sigh' technique that Andrew Hubermann suggests. It's easy to do, doesn't require her to hold her breathe and several of these in a row have been shown to reduce acutely stressful situations quickly and effectively.