Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

Mary Balogh in Remember Me explores for the first time
what happens after death.At the very end we see the culmination of the love between the old Duke and the Duchess leaving this life together and going into the light. It was very touching and brought tears to my eyes.
Yes, noted (how Mary wrote on it, which brought me back to when she was interviewed on (see below) MindMatters) and felt the same way. Some of her other standalone books delve into this subject different planes of existence in some detail.

My general impression is that emotions come and go, but what remains are the obligations each partner fulfills.

You might be interested in the view from one of the main (from list) authors:

MindMatters: Mary Balogh: The Meaning and Purpose of Romance -- Sott.net
 
I am about three quarters thru the list. 2 years of reading.

At last I was able to locate the last book from Elisa Braden Rescued from Ruin series Anything but a gentleman. As always, Dowager Marchioness of Wallingham quotes at the beginning of each chapter are often better than the chapter itself. If there was a definition of a feminist (meaning in the best way) it is her. I am reading those quotes out loud to my wife who enjoys them even more than I do :-)
 
Very punctual comments! And Silent Melody... what a great story that one is! I hope you enjoy it and share your thoughts on it.
Thank you, I enjoyed it! I finished Silent Melody several weeks ago, but didn't get around to share my thoughts, but I've read yours and other people's thoughts on it and agree that it was a great story. I have to say that I also especially liked Luke in this story, because
IMO, he was the only one who (at most times) didn't see Emily as a child, and treated her as an adult. He was also honest and serious with her, but gentle in his own way. When it comes to Emily and Ashley, I had to pay close attention to Emily's thoughts and reasoning to try to understand her decisions. She fancies him, but wouldn't accept his offer for marriage? But it started to make sense. She didn't want him to marry her out of necessity and what is considered proper, she wanted him to marry her out of love. And of course there was the whole situation with his ex that she didn't know about. Ashley was confusing at times as well (I remember thinking 'she's not a child anymore, Ashley!'), but as the story developed and I read more of his thinking process, I started to understand things from his point of view.

Another thing I didn't quite get initially is why Emily didn't tell anyone about the dangerous man (Ashley's friend) who was staying at the house. At the very least consider the danger the children may be in! But in a way I started to understand her decision, as her thinking was along the lines of 'perhaps his disturbing behavior was something men of his age or stature do or perhaps he's not that bad, because look at how much Ashley likes him or how well he gets along with people'. A little naive though, but it also shows how manipulative and 'charming' psychopaths can be.

Also, when she confronted him, that was a ballsy, courageous, but dangerous, move! But it was a move she needed to make, because in that moment she stood up for herself and didn't need to rely on someone else. I think it was what she needed, to know that she has that strength. In the end, I'm glad it all worked out and I think they are a very sweet couple. :-) Great storywriting! It was a while ago since I finished it, but I just remembered the two matchmakers, Lady Sterne and Lord Quinn, who had a hand in making it happen for them. I loved them and thought they were very funny, sweet (and sneaky)!

I'm currently reading the Huxtable Series, starting with First Comes Marriage and it's very interesting so far!
 
It just so happened that Mary Balogh's new book Remember Me came out as I was finishing Bedwyn book 3 Slightly Scandalous, so I went from Remember Me to book 4 Slightly Tempted.
The stories in Remember Me and Slightly Tempted happened simultaneously in the same universe, the battle of Waterloo and eligible gentlemen thinking about Morgan Bedwyn.

The terrible Earl of Stratton became even more villainous, and this time the son made the decision to hide Stratton's actions instead of revealing them to the entire family. I don't agree with the choice, as concealing the truth took happiness out of the son's life. I thought Remember Love made it clear that the family has a right to know the truth about the family.

It's interesting that Balogh's latest 2 series are about lying cheating Earls and the devastation they leave upon their families and everyone else.
 
Hi guys,

I made my way through Remember Me, the second one in the ravenswood saga.. series, and I enjoyed the story. A few thoughts on the spoiler section below.

The story follows Luke and Phillipa, she is Devlin's sister from the first novel.

After dealing with some of the fall out of her father's indiscretion, and Devlin's revealing of the truth, she runs into Luke at a festival, develops and immediate crush on him, but it's short lived as she overhears him speaking to other people declaring her "soiled goods" this marks her for a few years, and makes her a recluse of sorts, she believed his words to be true. After overcoming that, she finally goes to London for a season, runs into him, they hash it out, find the truth of the events, fall in love, marry and have two children, as the story ends.

I remember the fist book dealing with the devastating power of truth, Devlin's father had created an empire, so to speak, based on a lie that no one questioned, Devlin's shock at finding the truth about his fathers infidelity, created chaos and destroyed the entire foundation to that one empire. In that book, dealing with guilt for having destroyed what others found so essential to their well being, was the central theme, as I saw it.

In this book however, truth remains the center of the conversation, but from a different point of view. Truth can be destructive, but it can also be creative, and healing. Their love story feels kind of forced if one doesn't see it from this point of view. They were an impossible couple, Luke and Philippa, until he shared the truth of his declaration, the one that marked her for years.

He told her the truth about why he had said those words, he had grown to hate her family, because her father had conceived a child with his mother. Understandable reaction, but how much do we mean the hate we claim to hold for someone we don't really know?

He shares further truth with her, which adds context, and she forgives... she realizes what resentment can create on ourselves, without the truth, without ever questioning if what we believe is true or not. He realizes, upon meeting her, what resentment can create in others, if we do not hold the truth about them, if we keep the objects of our anger and hate as simple two dimensional creatures, or caricatures, we do not realize the true impact of our actions against them.

Another aspect of this story that was interesting, was that truth in this story was shown as something more precious and delicate. The truth of their parents infidelity was devastating, brutal even. But the way Luke and Philippa, and later Devlin, handle the truth is more delicate, more discreet.

And so that's the other aspect of it that I found interesting, truth can be devastating to illusions, but it is also a delicate matter that can be creative and it does deserve to be handled with certain care, delivered to places and people who need it, but also.. who can handle it without making it more destructive.

An immature individual, might not be able to handle the truth of an event, might not find a way to keep it or make it creative, simply destructive.

I hope the above is clear, or that I am explaining myself clearly. I could perhaps summarize it with: Truth can be devastating, but it remains precious and rare, and it is conducive to creativity, as such remain honest in your dealings with others, BUT it is also true that some aren't able to handle the truth as it deserves, creating more harm than good, in such cases... the honest thing to do would be to exercise discretion, not to hide the truth, but because of the truth that their immaturity implies, and because it is precious and rare.

Now I feel I am repeating myself, thanks for reading.
 
Just a general update, nothing particular about any of the books.

I've read about 80-90 by now, I think. Mary Balogh is still my favorite (though Anne Gracie is just SO good too, and Elisa Braden was good in her own style).

I've slowed down, because I want to use my reading time for some research, but I still read a few pages almost every night. Scottie does too, and we often discuss the books. It has been a very instructive exercise, especially when we extrapolate the dynamics into what we each can learn about ourselves, how to always communicate and be a good team, men&women dynamics, and the more modern take on it from psychology books. Of course it's romanticized, only happy endings, dukes and ladies, etc. But the underlying traits of good people and simple karmic understandings are really well depicted. For example:

- that strength that allows for "crucial conversations" when needed,
- or the one that makes a person want the truth, and not just in a romantic relationship.
- Or the desires matched by actions, not just dreams in our heads, but in actually making things happen.
- Or accepting one's past and healing, instead of living perpetually buried in guilt and shame, instead of changing the present.
- Or giving, protecting what and who one values.
- Or improving for the sake of others.
- Or taking an active role as a team to resolve issues, misunderstandings, etc.
- Or bringing up the best sides of each other.
- Or on how desire is born and nourished thanks to all of the above.
- Or how "female" and "male" strength are different, yet complementary.

Well, the list goes on and on. And every story tells it from a different angle. And some characters are SO endearing. Added to the occasional good depictions of psychos.

I never thought I'd be a romance novel reader, but this has been such a great activity so far! Some hit me harder than others, as if they had to do with past life events, or because they brought up something I needed to process, forgive, accept or move on from the past. Others are just so refreshing and full of hope, that they help to later cope with the news!

Am I different? Well, yes, I think so. At least as different as we all are when we gain more knowledge, process things, etc. I still like reading non-fiction about human dynamics, but most often than not, I find myself relating it to examples from the romance novels. So, they are a very good reference!

Just my 2 cents!
 
Am I different? Well, yes, I think so. At least as different as we all are when we gain more knowledge, process things, etc. I still like reading non-fiction about human dynamics, but most often than not, I find myself relating it to examples from the romance novels. So, they are a very good reference!
It's a gentle mirror in a lot of instances, I have found myself going "oh man, that is/was totally me", it's an opportunity for this whole being a genius and learning from someone else's mistakes.

There's a lot of bravery, courage and doing the right thing for its own sake. Like you, I have paused reading romantic novels, for other topics, so right now I am at the point of reading them at Balogh's publishing pace, which is nice enough.

There's one struggle, which has been mentioned in the past I believe, and that is that this type of reading might make you long for a romantic partner, if you're alone, which is absolutely normal... but that is yet another concept that has been illustrated so well in some of these stories, getting over your own self pity and your waiting for life to give you the love, affection, or company, a part of you absolutely knows you deserve and are owed. You can't trick life, and an entitled spoiled attitude won't get you much, maybe contempt.

Instead, and the C's mentioned this a while back, or something along these lines, give that which you feel are lacking, to life, that way solitude isn't loneliness, silence isn't abandonment, and so on. If you give love to life in general, to your family and friends, and work, and your daily dealings, then your life isn't loveless, even if you are alone.

And it doesn't mean to be "cuddly" with everything around you, like some new age person, rather...sometimes love is tough, stern and assertive, sometimes love is saying no when you want to say yes, to others and to yourself, but it's never destructive, it's creative even if it needs to make a few illusions crumble from time to time, or create necessary friction in certain situations. Love is knowledge, truth.

A little while ago I concluded that you can indeed refuse to live a loveless life, despite the status of your romantic partnerships.

And once you get over that struggle, though I realize I overextended myself, the stories become very rich, and new ideas become visible about human interactions, which is another thing I've come to realize, most of the significant and life changing events are a human interaction, our best and worst memories they all have another human (or several) being at the other end of whatever the situation it is connecting us with.

Not sure if I have grown, per se, from this reading, I do not know how to measure that on my own, though that probably wasn't the point, I feel it was more about having the chance of witnessing someone else going through something that you may get a clue or two about yourself. And that has been touching and entertaining, I am very glad I picked up so many of these books.
 
Yeah, completely unexpected for me too. The timing was probably right too.

Yes, same. Moreover, it all came at a time (see Laura's opining post August 2020) as the world was dragged under and sunk into the depts of real horror and covid-psychosis. So, as positive disassociation goes, it became a chance to learn (also from other readers), or relearn to help untangle knots. The books were a blessing.

A little something on Mary's books along with some other authors, was that unfortunately at first some character connections were missed having not always read them in sequence. Where characters would pop up briefly in a series when not knowing their important past, a past buried in the lives of others in a series prior; so an aunt here and an uncle there, and children no longer children, and young marriages no longer young. Mary is a master at linking time; families, communities, countries, wars. The impacts on lives with no one to support, to linking them into a world of support that they never knew. Of the dreadful dynamics of parents on their children, or their respective spouse, and also the love that some had. This shone trough in the Bedwyn's, in the prequels, in the series after that kept linking them together.

As an example without giving anything away, to read of a Miss Martin extricating herself from a life she can't be comfortable in. Where she pops up later where the reader knows there is something not told (yet the finger is pointed), and then much later a whole story is told about her, keeping other characters intertwined, was good story telling (IMO).

Not sure if I have grown, per se, from this reading, I do not know how to measure that on my own, though that probably wasn't the point, I feel it was more about having the chance of witnessing someone else going through something that you may get a clue or two about yourself. And that has been touching and entertaining, I am very glad I picked up so many of these books.

Thanks for providing your thoughts above. And yes, it seems to be an opportunity to witness that which is outside one self, even distant from their awareness, and then one never knows just how one thing opens up in deep and emotional levels - there has been many examples. Take for instance what gottathink said of Remember Me in the spoiler, it was simple, yet very powerful.
 
After starting on and reading Mary Balough survivor series (with my wife commenting on the positive results she saw) I mostly have been reading scientific/historical materials. Its time to get back on Romance novels so I will start on the Wescott series.

Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank You.
 
After starting on and reading Mary Balough survivor series (with my wife commenting on the positive results she saw) I mostly have been reading scientific/historical materials. Its time to get back on Romance novels so I will start on the Wescott series.

Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank You.
You may want to read these Balogh books first because some of the characters in the Survivors series were written about first in the following series. And, read them in the order posted as characters in the first books also make appearances in the following books:

Bedwyn Prequel
One Night for Love
A summer to Remember

Bedwyn series
Slightly Married
Slightly Wicked
Slightly Scandalous
Slightly Tempted
Slightly Sinful
Slightly Dangerous

Bedwyn sequel
Simply Unforgettable
Simply Love
Simply Magic
Simply Perfect
Once Upon a Dream

These are all very interesting and captivating.
 
I would suggest also sticking to an order, but... I didn't follow one, as far as which series to pick up first, and it was just as interesting, so I would read the series in order, but as far as the order of the series, I would defer to Nienna's suggestion. I myself started with The Horseman Trilogy and jumped right into Bedwyn, then Survivor, then Westcott (if I remember correctly)
 
I will start on the Wescott series.
The Westcott series is an excellent choice and my default recommendation for everyone looking to get started.

I've found Balogh's most recent books to be more realistic than some earlier books.
The Westcott series features a domestic violence story and also a step mother trying to seduce a step son. I found the Westcott versions to be the superior iterations of the same type of dynamic as the first book of the Survivors Club. The Survivors Club version felt fake like it was trying to force a happy ending, while I felt the Westcott version was running down the dynamic more realistically.
 
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