The Living Force
A few concerns came to my mind as I read through this thread... the first was that of course, the results will be skewed based on how you feel at the time -- and how your body and environment influences your thinking. Still, better than nothing, and an interesting experiment. So as I answered the questions, the difficulty came in trying to tease out "who I want to be" from "who I was" to come to a comfortable judgement of "who I am". These are my results:
Thanks to all who posted.
..Activity Level 52
Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.
-- Okay, so this is quite true. However, at this time, I seem to be opening myself up to the outside world through my daily activities and responsibilities. It has forced me into many uncomfortable but frequently enjoyable social situations. So I'm guessing that this is still a work in progress. When younger, I was a bit more friendly than I currently am, as I have learnt the value of discernment and not showing all cards at once. It really doesn't hurt to take your time to get a feel for someone when meeting people for the first time. It's probably mandatory to learn to trust your own senses when it comes to dealing with others. Assertiveness has never been my strong suit as I seem to lack trust in my own feelings and judgments, though this also varies with the subjective health situation.
Your high level of Agreeableness indicates a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative.
I think these traits I've mostly inherited from my father, who is a very moral and compromising type of person -- to a fault. I think genuine modesty may be something to work on. Seems like this category is dominated by mostly automatic behavior. For example, sympathy needs to be tempered with empathy, where one is able to feel for another without being swept away by strong surges of feeling. It's hard to be helpful when one is in that state, it's like being lost in the maze together with them.
Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.
About the Self-Efficacy, this is very much related to the whole confidence/competence thing mentioned earlier:
"Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is low."
Yes. It's true that with time this is the general feeling that I often get. Not that there's no progress, but the build up of toxins and stress gets to me and I need to find ways of flushing them out. Coffee enemas seem to help a lot with giving the mind a rest from the incessant problems it seems intent on solving.
Achievement-striving: "Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence."
I guess disillusionment about the perceived rewards of life activities make Achievement-Striving hard to justify. Though I assume later the sun will start shining again and I will doggedly pursue some task or other in the hopes of achieving something or other. I think I might write about my work situation in a Swamp thread.
Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.
I topped the charts on anxiety like a few other friends here. It wasn't really a big surprise. Like the trait description says, the sympathetic part of the brain is trigger happy, especially when the body is fed lots of juicy stress and toxins and is sleep-deprived. I think this section is strongly influenced by my sleep, etc. I have been staying up late because I seemed to have found new enthusiasm for reading and intellectual discovery ... but I think that has gotten to me. It was fun while it lasted but I think I have to stick to early bedtimes. Self-consciousness is something that can be worked on further, for sure, I wonder if getting to know more people could help with reducing this score?
..Artistic Interests 48
Your score on Openness to Experience is average, indicating you enjoy tradition but are willing to try new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual.
I think this is something that I have also been steadily working on. This forum has been my safe haven since I joined, even if it seems like I don't really post much. However, I have now found that there is a lot more out there that is of interest and I have a little more courage to explore and discover new things. It's interesting to see the progression in this light. This doesn't at all mean that I'm not grateful for the help and information provided here.
Thanks to all who posted.