Hi everyone – I feel the need to post this lengthy introduction in order to explain myself before I start posting here. This text was also – apart from some small changes – the introduction I used when applying to become a member of the Fellowship almost a year ago. Asking to be accepted as a member of the Fellowship did not come easy to me. I understand it as a binding promise for commitment to “Service to Other”.
A binding promise for commitment… That’s what I wrote - and yet I am slow as the slowest snail when it comes to actually sharing more.
Sure, I did not see where I would fit within the Fellowship and felt and still feel rather intimidated by the sharpness of your super-minds, and sure, I did not want to just tag along and limply and hyper-carefully comment here or there but I was also shying away from drawing uncalled-for attention to myself and that proves difficult if one’s (at least perceived) share-strength lies mainly in the realms of visual (self-) exploration/expression...
I’ve been reading books more or less throughout my life and there are so so so many more waiting but I have also been desperate and determined to find and use “my own fuel”. Gurdjieff talks about the personal fuel a “Working person” needs to find for his/her car to move (in “The Last Hour of Life”).
I have been trying to grapple with the Work - or at least the first part (so far): “knowing myself” (better) - by trying to translate as much as I can into language that I can personally relate to, where I feel personally involved and at home and therefore able to use as a “communication tool” for sharing with /reaching “Other”.
A combination of Cartoon and “Märly” (or “Märli”, the Swiss German word for “fairytale”) is what I have found or what found me. With the help of (reality courting) “Märly”– fragments/elements I try to add (at least the idea) of a “sacrosanct seed” to the world of cartoons (where typically nothing is sacred).
In other words: how far can I go with ridiculing (I often ridicule myself), namely using cartooning, without totally severing my (potential for a) divine connection? The baby’s got to stay in the bathwater!
This is how I understand “Märly”: A potential for soul growth, a touch of poetic magic, a longing for truth and fairness, of noble thought and acts and braveness, of keeping one’s word, of persevering even in the most dire and testing of circumstances. It’s about doors that point to our inner riches and places of hope but the protagonist must show him/herself willing to put in the effort. E.g. by agreeing to a deal that binds her/him to remain silent for a very long time no matter what happens. However, noble intentions (always/never/fairest/bravest/most beautiful/true love etc.) can easily turn overly zealous, unrelenting, pompous and “bumptious” if an adept doesn’t know how to temper him/herself.
“The Cartoon", on the other hand, is home to a “stripped” and distorted world. From the mild, somewhat endearing and distortion to its extreme: where downright disrespect and cynicism reign, where nothing is sacred and life just a cheap and nasty joke and where humans are reduced to be no more than faulty and pathetic animated bodies.
But cartooning offers also: a means for illustrating the crux of a problem, cutting the frills and pushing all kinds of boundaries.
So this is where my idea of “Märly Cartooning” comes in: exactly NOT as an expression of resignation or downright disrespect and certainly NOT as evidence of having given up noble intentions and ideals. On the contrary: in order to help me keep them. I try to make them “bearable”, livable and “humane”.
I am a great advocate for humour in its many varied expressions. “Mastered” humour (not mere escapism or disassociation) can be a mighty tool for keeping one’s sanity and mental hygiene and of course: connecting people.
I have devoted most of my energies to exploring these “realms” over the past ca. 5 years. Meaning: notionally and tentatively getting to “what is”/getting to the roots of problems via (often merely sketchy, fuzzy) fragments (rather than whole and linear stories). I inflated, deflated, compared “incomparables”, honed in on details, and blew them out of all proportion… The results are a great many photos of my scribbly drawings/doodles, small objects made from paper, clay and fabric (e.g. my main cartoon: a mix between a donkey and a swan) and an arsenal of (verbal) “gistings” in my many, many, many notebooks. I also filmed myself at times (often simply rants, sometimes also used for – erratic –illustrating and documenting).
I ‘ve been rather afraid of too openly sharing my productions (though I did share quite a few things and a lot of internal explorations on the (however questionable) facebook, which I sometimes call my “sewer” i.e. a place for clarifying).
They are personal, and at times downright asinine and embarrassing and I often use myself as “working material”/a projection for all sorts of unflattering findings - e.g. exploiting the sickening “selfie”-cult. I felt the need to explore all sorts of “narcissisms” and take them to their extreme in order to understand myself/others/the zeitgeist better. A bit like homoeopathic therapy: treating narcissism with narcissism (trusting that the process won’t in fact amplify rather than dismantle at least some of it).
I am still finding it extremely challenging not to isolate myself and just lock myself up in an “ivory tower” of my own subjectivity.
However, my strong wish is - and has been for a long time - to align myself with STO and by myself I cannot be of service.
I explain all this because it has been such an important process for me. I could not not elaborate on it. It is nothing short of a personal creative pilgrimage. A painful and at the same time wonderful period of grace but despite the seriousness of my processes, the pictures are often somewhat light and flippant. I mean I don’t use the word “cartooning” for nothing…
If I had to sum up – in one word - the way I feel about this group’s unwavering commitment to consciousness and the wealth that is being shared so freely, it would be: gobsmacked.
Now I don’t quite know where to start since there are so many different processes I have creatively gone through. I will just start somewhere and trust that I will find my share-bearings along the way. Thank you for your patience.
Gratefully, Ysus
(Attachment: this boat symbolises my personal od(d)yssey: a long journey from almost complete hiding to some form of sharing)
A binding promise for commitment… That’s what I wrote - and yet I am slow as the slowest snail when it comes to actually sharing more.
Sure, I did not see where I would fit within the Fellowship and felt and still feel rather intimidated by the sharpness of your super-minds, and sure, I did not want to just tag along and limply and hyper-carefully comment here or there but I was also shying away from drawing uncalled-for attention to myself and that proves difficult if one’s (at least perceived) share-strength lies mainly in the realms of visual (self-) exploration/expression...
I’ve been reading books more or less throughout my life and there are so so so many more waiting but I have also been desperate and determined to find and use “my own fuel”. Gurdjieff talks about the personal fuel a “Working person” needs to find for his/her car to move (in “The Last Hour of Life”).
I have been trying to grapple with the Work - or at least the first part (so far): “knowing myself” (better) - by trying to translate as much as I can into language that I can personally relate to, where I feel personally involved and at home and therefore able to use as a “communication tool” for sharing with /reaching “Other”.
A combination of Cartoon and “Märly” (or “Märli”, the Swiss German word for “fairytale”) is what I have found or what found me. With the help of (reality courting) “Märly”– fragments/elements I try to add (at least the idea) of a “sacrosanct seed” to the world of cartoons (where typically nothing is sacred).
In other words: how far can I go with ridiculing (I often ridicule myself), namely using cartooning, without totally severing my (potential for a) divine connection? The baby’s got to stay in the bathwater!
This is how I understand “Märly”: A potential for soul growth, a touch of poetic magic, a longing for truth and fairness, of noble thought and acts and braveness, of keeping one’s word, of persevering even in the most dire and testing of circumstances. It’s about doors that point to our inner riches and places of hope but the protagonist must show him/herself willing to put in the effort. E.g. by agreeing to a deal that binds her/him to remain silent for a very long time no matter what happens. However, noble intentions (always/never/fairest/bravest/most beautiful/true love etc.) can easily turn overly zealous, unrelenting, pompous and “bumptious” if an adept doesn’t know how to temper him/herself.
“The Cartoon", on the other hand, is home to a “stripped” and distorted world. From the mild, somewhat endearing and distortion to its extreme: where downright disrespect and cynicism reign, where nothing is sacred and life just a cheap and nasty joke and where humans are reduced to be no more than faulty and pathetic animated bodies.
But cartooning offers also: a means for illustrating the crux of a problem, cutting the frills and pushing all kinds of boundaries.
So this is where my idea of “Märly Cartooning” comes in: exactly NOT as an expression of resignation or downright disrespect and certainly NOT as evidence of having given up noble intentions and ideals. On the contrary: in order to help me keep them. I try to make them “bearable”, livable and “humane”.
I am a great advocate for humour in its many varied expressions. “Mastered” humour (not mere escapism or disassociation) can be a mighty tool for keeping one’s sanity and mental hygiene and of course: connecting people.
I have devoted most of my energies to exploring these “realms” over the past ca. 5 years. Meaning: notionally and tentatively getting to “what is”/getting to the roots of problems via (often merely sketchy, fuzzy) fragments (rather than whole and linear stories). I inflated, deflated, compared “incomparables”, honed in on details, and blew them out of all proportion… The results are a great many photos of my scribbly drawings/doodles, small objects made from paper, clay and fabric (e.g. my main cartoon: a mix between a donkey and a swan) and an arsenal of (verbal) “gistings” in my many, many, many notebooks. I also filmed myself at times (often simply rants, sometimes also used for – erratic –illustrating and documenting).
I ‘ve been rather afraid of too openly sharing my productions (though I did share quite a few things and a lot of internal explorations on the (however questionable) facebook, which I sometimes call my “sewer” i.e. a place for clarifying).
They are personal, and at times downright asinine and embarrassing and I often use myself as “working material”/a projection for all sorts of unflattering findings - e.g. exploiting the sickening “selfie”-cult. I felt the need to explore all sorts of “narcissisms” and take them to their extreme in order to understand myself/others/the zeitgeist better. A bit like homoeopathic therapy: treating narcissism with narcissism (trusting that the process won’t in fact amplify rather than dismantle at least some of it).
I am still finding it extremely challenging not to isolate myself and just lock myself up in an “ivory tower” of my own subjectivity.
However, my strong wish is - and has been for a long time - to align myself with STO and by myself I cannot be of service.
I explain all this because it has been such an important process for me. I could not not elaborate on it. It is nothing short of a personal creative pilgrimage. A painful and at the same time wonderful period of grace but despite the seriousness of my processes, the pictures are often somewhat light and flippant. I mean I don’t use the word “cartooning” for nothing…
If I had to sum up – in one word - the way I feel about this group’s unwavering commitment to consciousness and the wealth that is being shared so freely, it would be: gobsmacked.
Now I don’t quite know where to start since there are so many different processes I have creatively gone through. I will just start somewhere and trust that I will find my share-bearings along the way. Thank you for your patience.
Gratefully, Ysus
(Attachment: this boat symbolises my personal od(d)yssey: a long journey from almost complete hiding to some form of sharing)