Last night I had a sort of nightmare. Nothing horripilant in it, no monsters, no blood. Just this: I am with my husband in a sort of pastry store. My husband is waiting near the exist door while I look the pastries. In the store there are 3 other customers, old women and also 2 dogs, one that I mistake with an old women. Suddenly I see my husband leave the store. (My husband have MS, so I am always checking for him because he has difficulty to walk alone. this in real life) I leave the store to see where he is but no husband anywhere. Where is he? No store near, no other houses where he can be. I call him. Call him with desperation. No husband. I say to myself I will need to call the police but they will say it is too early for checking for him. I am really scare. I am in a dream where you try to do something but are unable to do it. I repose my back on a wall and start to cry and crying a wake up.
During the day I was thinking about my death. If I die my husband will be alone, in a sort of limbo, alone as I was feeling in the dream, far away from me if I die. If I die he will become an invisible being, for me. Like in my dream maybe I will look for him without finding him. That's what I thought during the day when I was thinking about my death.
The positive emotion was when I wake up crying and looking for my husband in his room. I was so happy to see him, alive, here, present, my husband that I love so badly sometimes. Take care of him with tenderness I thought.
During the day I was thinking about my death. If I die my husband will be alone, in a sort of limbo, alone as I was feeling in the dream, far away from me if I die. If I die he will become an invisible being, for me. Like in my dream maybe I will look for him without finding him. That's what I thought during the day when I was thinking about my death.
The positive emotion was when I wake up crying and looking for my husband in his room. I was so happy to see him, alive, here, present, my husband that I love so badly sometimes. Take care of him with tenderness I thought.