The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey

From me too, thank you for the recommendation and comments on this thread. I just started to read on Kindle. I enjoy a lot the authors focus on universal principles. In this way it reminds me of Jordan Petersons writings.
 
Mariama said:
...he who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress.

Then Covey writes:

Change -real change- comes from the inside out. It doesn't come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behaviour with quick fix personality ethic techniques. It comes from striking at the root - the fabric of our thought, the fundamental, essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world.

.. That is really inspiring and shows us what we can do in the direst circumstances when we use our thinking to change our subjective reality into a more objective one, OSIT.
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I just needed to read that, Mariama. To be reminded again and again to remember to take full responsibilty of the fabric and underlying paradigms that create scattered, negative thoughts and dissociation.
 
Breo said:
I just needed to read that, Mariama. To be reminded again and again to remember to take full responsibilty of the fabric and underlying paradigms that create scattered, negative thoughts and dissociation.
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Hi Breo,

You may also want to check out a simple and practical method of loosening the hold of "negative" thoughts, in this thread on Attention Training Therapy. It's good to have more ways than one to deal with these issues, and we need all the help we can get.
 
Thank you for starting a thread about this great book you recommended talking about routines. Those reminders are right in time, I would say. 🙏

Mariama said:
I am halfway through the book and started wondering about this personal mission statement Covey is talking about in his book. Did anyone write a statement like that, and do you think it is helpful?
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I took it as an interactive workbook when I read it, took 11 pages of notes, like I never did, went proactive on this. I made the circles of preoccupations and influences, wrote the visualization of my funeral and my panegyric. That helps to realize what's important and what's not. A great exercise.

I found it helpful to write the personal mission statement and define my different roles. It was a good complement to the Self-Authoring suite where you define your main goal in life and then your sub-goals.

Now would be a great time to re-read my notes. This is the hardest part, I think. Sticking to revising periodically your mission and goals without getting submerged by daily life and forgetting it all. I've been sticking with the weekly planner for a while and I've lost consistency, yet again. I can say there's a difference though, as I feel I have more and more tools and apply more.

This is a well-known book that has been read by many, and for this it makes me think about Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Yet how many of those who have read it have the discipline to continue applying the principles? Again, constant repetition and influx of Knowledge from a network seem needed.
 
It is a very inspiring book, wrote with a style that we can understand everything and also the author is very human, very near the reader. It is so inspiring that I will use some parts or pieces with my guys at the prison.
 
I liked the program and recommend it above Wayne Dyers or Tony Robbins. Robbins does give a shout out to Covey in his program, but I thought Robbins had it backwards when he did the mission statement last, whereas Covey does the mission statement first. Tomorrow I'm going to listen again on the habit seek to understand.

Does anyone have any thoughts about how Covey died? He was 79+ years old and was riding a bicycle and crashed going down steep road too fast. He had a helmet on but it wasn't enough to prevent his death a few months later from the biking injuries. I thought how he missed his own 80th birthday celebration and maybe he shouldn't have been doing dangerous sports at that age. If he needed to wear a helmet, then it was a dangerous activity.
 
beetlemaniac said:
It's good to have more ways than one to deal with these issues, and we need all the help we can get.
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When I can stop a negative thought loop/dissociation I noticed it is so important to know what to focus on then. Otherwise bad habit kicks in soon again.
The ATT seems to work with simple, grounding exercises. Indeed helpful, Beetlemaniac, thanks.

As to " 7 Habits", I have read now 40%. It is very helpful. Covey's writing has a similar effect on me like Jordan Peterson: a wise, practical, ethical "fatherly" voice to learn to deal with deeper principals of life to become more effective with lifes lessons.
 
I want to chime in and say that I did face some internal resistance from adopting a more principled way of living life.

That said, I have started to apply Stephen Covey's methods more concretely. It actually has the effect of reducing anxiety. When I don't know what to do or am having thoughts that lead me down the path of destruction, laziness, stupidity - I just think about principle-centered existence. It works, it really does, but it's the path that is less taken and thus not automatic. It also demands a certain commitment. I have been focusing on too much independence without taking into account interdependence, which means a commitment to the greater good of all. Which is ironic considering the fact that I am part of this group and I have always thought of myself as empathic and understanding.

So thank you for this again Chu, I will work on my resistance, fear-based thinking, and self-sabotaging behavior. And God knows I have a lot to work on - it's a really hungry beast.
 
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In regards to Win-Win:

I wanted to quote Covey directly on this, but my kindle is playing up and is probably due for replacement so I can't quote what he said here.

There is another level to win-win that Covey hasn't addressed, from what I recall, that is apparent in contract law. Many laws that have their foundations in Common Law or the Law of the Land are set by precedent through judges and juries or similar social structures down through the ages to protect a relative degree of harmonious interaction, though there are exceptions in those cases where dishonest elements of Nash's Game theory are present! The level that's apparent in contract law expresses STO as the C's describe in the idea of 'serving self through serving others' from what I can tell.

In a contract there has to be equal consideration for each party to the contract - but also each party must both suffer a detriment as well as gain a benefit for the contract to be lawful. In a simple example - I suffer a detriment (or loss) by handing over something that the other party wants. I gain a benefit where the other party gives something that I want in exchange. The other party has suffered a detriment (or loss) by giving, and gained a benefit from receiving what I've given. The whole deal is an harmonious one when each party is in agreement as to what they will suffer as detriments and what they will gain as benefits.

So win-win, as I'm seeing it at this time, isn't as clear cut as all parties just gaining benefits because at the same time they are also suffering detriments - even if the detriments just come down to expending time or energy.

It could be that Covey has made this distinction and I'm not recalling reading it.
 
I wrote my first draft of my personal mission statement last night. At first I didn't know what to write, so I used an example in the book. And then somehow I kept writing and all kinds of things popped up in my head. But my statement now looks more like a to-do list! Perhaps this makes sense, since a lot of work is involved living up to one's principles?

I really like his idea of spending (a minimum of) one hour a day 'sharpening the saw', like reading, writing, meditation, exercise; the physical, mental and spiritual dimensions.
It's the source of intrinsic security you need to sharpen the saw in the social/emotional dimension.
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Mariama said:
I wrote my first draft of my personal mission statement last night. At first I didn't know what to write, so I used an example in the book. And then somehow I kept writing and all kinds of things popped up in my head. But my statement now looks more like a to-do list! Perhaps this makes sense, since a lot of work is involved living up to one's principles?
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I think it does! But just in case you haven't seen it, Aragorn recommended the companion book a while back. I read it and thought it was very good. It gives you a better idea of how to write the Statement of Principles. To me it sounds like an "ideal self" more than a to-do list. But I confess I haven't written mine fully yet. So kudos to you!

I really like his idea of spending (a minimum of) one hour a day 'sharpening the saw', like reading, writing, meditation, exercise; the physical, mental and spiritual dimensions.
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Definitely. I think it does a lot on many levels, one of which being grounding you, but also growing in knowledge and never being stagnant and always striving towards sharing what you learn and not being so self-absorbed.
 
Chu said:
I think it does! But just in case you haven't seen it, Aragorn recommended the companion book a while back. I read it and thought it was very good. It gives you a better idea of how to write the Statement of Principles. To me it sounds like an "ideal self" more than a to-do list. But I confess I haven't written mine fully yet. So kudos to you!
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Thank you, Chu! I have just ordered the audio CD. I think you are right, the personal mission statement is like "an ideal self" and I can see how it will help us when we face challenges. Writing it down, fleshing it out, that in itself makes me feel more grounded. I have also started journalling and find it helpful and inspiring. Along the way I am discovering things about myself. One is that I do like (some) structure, and this book really helps with that.

I have been working on some projects here for a number of years but found that I was becoming less motivated. When I realised how lucky I have been to grow up in my country of residence and how many opportunities it has offered me when things were still reasonably good I found my motivation again as I could detect a deeper meaning behind this project, that is giving back to the country (and the world at large of course) that has afforded me so much stability

Perhaps counting our blessings is also a strong motivator.
 
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