The Living Force
These novels made me to pay attention to the smell ( particularly I go out for a walk) etc. Given that we are limited with human interactions, smelling other people is limited. This reminds me of G's self remembering through the senses - smell, touches , visual objects, thoughts and emotions etc.There are a few things about these books that I've noticed:
1) The authors talk about scents, smells quite a bit. It's very noticeable. The scent of perfume, hair, soap, bodies, etc.
It's something that I didn't paid much attention before but these novels made me to pay attention. It's a sort of fun looking, paying attention to eye colors, hair color etc.2) A LOT of attention is given to reactions that are read from eyes.
Well, I used to do it before trying to get impression by looking at the face and eyes etc. What I found out at that time, it is a guess what strangers feel , but no way to validate it. It also needs some time to spend in proper integration of the impressions after the interaction. I realized that my own programs of like "Reflective of other needs" can create additional stress, though when identified the program, it is not bad.It's this last thing that has me thinking. How many people can actually read such emotions in the eyes of another?
For me biggest take away from the novels is validation of individual impressions (which were there forever) rather than looking them as right or wrong. There are many occasions in the meetings, I tend to express my opinions rather freely knowing it may not go well or i could be wrong too. These novels gives me ability to confess my mistakes or express my thought processes without feeling of "What others think of". This removes the typical guilt (when not expressed) and creates a safety in the interaction. It's one of the technique mentioned in "Crucial conversations".And how many people are actually any good at that when encountering a stranger or someone they do not know really well? ARE they reading emotions from eyes, or is it more likely that the author is trying to find a way to describe the unconscious reading of micro-expressions? You would have to be a highly trained psychological expert to do the kind of reading that many of the characters in these books are said to do.
Given that we are in remote world of working, seeing others eyes is difficult, but silences can give some impressions.