Dependent on the levels of skills, experience and exercises ?
We all stand at various, different levels of knowledge, experiences and skills in our general 3D STS world. So, in practice, in real life, i am sure many forum family members, will recoginze themselves in situations, where you sometimes just loose it. Damn ! Or get overwhelmed by negative thoughts or emotions... Then we wonder… why didn’t I do better ? I should have !
Don’t reject that, acknowledge it “as it is” - yet stay virgilant. Having a negative episode often feels like a “failure”, especially when you are a person who like many forum members, have knowledge and experience, and you are aware of many things “under the hood”. So, when you suddenly get caught into a bad situation, or one you created, like a really bad outburst - and you are believing that you totally failed…
well, that belief ain’t helping.
Instead - the situation is filled with potential. Just keep that in the back of your mind, for later use
I had a very bad situation yesterday
which i suspect was a gradual decline or ongoing slip ongoing for a couple of weeks, culminating into a weird situation with my computer which got destroyed (through me, chasing the “gold on the other side of the door ?”) Perhaps, I am not sure, but the thought has crossed my mind when i chose to update my 13 year old MacPro computer. Oh, and while at it - my husband also got a slice of my bad mood.
(What happened last night, was a totally failed macOS update, the first time in 25 years !) - and it appears that my computer might be unrecoverable, albeit i haven’t given up yet, there might be still be some solutions left. There is of course a greater risk that I have lost my entire photo archive with a million images (despite a double backup), scanned analog negatives, my entire homepage and it’s archive the last 22 years, well everything - in case that my extra hardrives also been affected. (i can’t tell, because the computer doesn’t start without a macOS ”heart” - but that particular update supposedly made crucial changes to all hardrives (it’s internal hierarchy language). In that delicate process, my computer chose to crash. Or my mindset contributed to it *LOL* Who knows such things.
1000 wasps/bees
So, when I tried to tried to fix my computer after midnight this morning - i really got stung like a thousands wasps. At the same time, as a silent, third observer in me - made me aware of that I oozed very dark, negative energy - which let’s face it - did come through me, because I am the bearer of it “I chose to feel and to express it” - and my body, the instrument gave sounds to my anger. So, i can’t say I am innocent, because I am not. And yeah, the dark side always hits you at your weakest spots. Yet, it is a wise reminder, to tell you, where you are still facing weakness. I acknowledge that.
To make a long story (not so)
short, what I wish to outline here is following: We may not all be so skilled avoiding attacks, whether those come from the outside, or are “sponsored” from the outside via our own weaknesses, or purely created by our own predatory mind getting the upper hand… BUT, there is always ONE powerful thing you can do.
It is
how you relate to an attack or negative situation afterwards; How you take care of it - afterwards. If it involves let’s say your partner, you may not be able to fend of your own harsh words in the moment of heat, or the harsh words from your partner in the moment it happens - but you CAN take care of it afterwards. There you have a very powerful ally: your spirit, your soul ! Call it, the better part of you.
And it is very real !
I feel quite often, in my marriage to my partner, that we do fall sometimes into negative traps. It is perhaps an illusion to think that if you are an awakened, aware person - you don’t get angry anymore, or don’t make errors ? You will. And you do. Perhaps you even secretly fear having “negative tilted thoughts”. I don‘t think, insisting on avoiding negative thoughts is a solution/mantra for success. On the contrary, I often feel it makes things a lot worse over time, by feeding a
hidden negative feedback loop.
It is in the after-process of conflict, the power of wisdom, experiences and honest insights really can take hold and flower. (And you‘ll see, how easy it is to recognize yourself in that higher vibration. This, in return opens doors, e.g. solutions. Somebody said - you can’t solve a problem on the same level the problem emerged at. It is when
you step up, you get in touch with the creative tools, how to solve the problem.
Of course, a super skilled person with long experience, might avoid most of the bad situations (negative energy traps). Gratulations ! But not everyone is there. In order of getting there, you have to make those errors - and you do. Reading about them through others isn’t enough, I believe. The body also needs to feel the entire spectrum, as well. (And it sux at times) Over time however, you may get tired of your pissed-off “self”, which allows the moment between stimuli and response, to shrink. Possibily to such a small moment, that you can already act within a bad moment, by choosing something intuitively wiser. Within that moment where we can choose our reactions -
herein lies the power to our growth and freedom.
But until we shrink that timespan between stimuli and response, we still will fall sometimes, or act out with bad reactions… but it is not an error if you can use those, with insight, sensibility and
honest self-reflection; over that what just happened inside of you (regardless where it came from), and why you acted out in a negative way.
Not Buddah yet, honey ?
I believe, for everyone who isn’t on a Buddha level yet, that the biggest chance of growth lies in how we handle a bad situation
afterwards - with honesty, insight and responsibility. It releases almost immediately a “portal” (access) to our higher qualities !
A bad moment can really feel bad, whether in you, or against somebody else. Yet, don’t make the mistake of thinking you are a failure because of that !
Instead; be gentle about that “gift”, which has been given to you,
to learn from it. It only sucks in the moment when the ego is at it’s most grumpiest level, that’s all. You’ll survive
4D STS attacks ?
If the attack or influence comes via 4D STS… regardless, the process still happens through us, here on this 3D STS realm. That places responsibility on us, because we are a part of the whole. Which means, the only way to get through it, is to experience things, preferably discerning it, and get through it. And of course learning about it. The good aspect is, that we always can ask for help, network about it, and realize, that no, we are not so alone, if we choose to not to be.
I am not saying this with ease, though. I am saying with a sense of gently meant duty, as well with a sense of playful curiosity; to do the work, of learning, watching, looking, observing. The tools to extend our knowledge, internally as well externally, looking upon as well behind the veil of illusions. In good and in bad.
Negative thoughts creeping in ?
If you feel that you have negative thoughts
without visible reasons: When this happnes to me like that - sometimes it is the best thing to “accept it as it is for the time being”, and then moving on “as it is”. It‘ll pass. Not everything has an answer or solution ready at hand. Sometimes it just needs to rest “as it is”. Because “dark clouds are not meant to get fixated over our heads”; e.g. you have to release them, because even storms do not last forever - they always come to an end. So; you just let the clouds pass, without holding or grabbing them by
insisting on keeping the negative thoughts (e.g. for other reasons that might be still unknown to you?)
There can sometimes be a reason why our subconsciousness chose to bring up negative memories - so I am not suggesting always to ignore them. Sometimes it might be best to just “let them sit there” (in healthy distance). If there is an important component attached to them, it will show over time. Not everything that pops up, wants to get captured - because the when you force to chase after them - it may just fool you. I let such memories “sit openly, unanswered in the room“, without doing anything, just observing them without judgement. A silent curiosity usually will led me to interesting answers later on. They come out of the fog “by themselves”, so to speak. But it is vital, not to force it (the latter tends to give me false answers / false interpretations).
And please
these are just my spontaneous, personal reflections - i hope they make some sense. I feel slightly unease with writing text on an iPad now, which is a totally different (and sooooo clumsy) workflow in comparison with a real (totally familiar) computer i was used to. My text got longer than I had intended - I hope you can oversight with me.