I've decided to post this after long contemplation ..... This forum has helped me overcome my "stalling" and given me an avenue to share my experience in hopes of helping others who might have gone through a similar situation.
Let me start with a little bit of background.
I have always had really pungent dreams and felt that I had a direct connection to the universe, not in the sense of predictions or anything of that nature, but in my dreams I was aware that it was a dream and could move things and go places. I was also aware that that there is an entity which has been stalking me all of my life. I've had many interactions with this entity to the point where it has said "I have watched you since you were born", I am aware that they have been trying to sway me to the dark side, by which I have had to fight and sometimes lost, but I haven't given up. This entity has helpers and I'm pretty much aware that they are some kind of spirit attachments which are under its' control.
This may sound like I'm exaggerating, but please believe me that I'm not....
As my powers grew in the dreams I noticed that I could view the entity as it was and could challenge it. I was getting good too.
Towards the months heading into June, 2008; I kept having dreams that were farwarning me that I had left an open door in my subconscious but I had no
way of knowing how to go about closing it. I would search for the answer in the dreams but couldn't find it.
By the way, in those days I felt alot of pressure when awake and weight as though I was overwhelmingly tired all the time and felt this stalling, like a wall.
On a fateful night in June, I don't know what date because I didn't write it down, I guess it was denial, but that night I had a dream and it began with myself
somewhat aware that it was a dream and walking for what felt was between dimensions of my consciousness. I remember sitting down between two dreams, right were they split ( I'm sorry, it's difficult to describe) then I moved into one of the dreams and a very big black wolf starting chasing me, I mean this was one of the scaryest wolves I've ever seen
, As I fled and ran up and down stairs and over what seemed like high objects, the wolf would not relent, it just kept chasing me....
Finally it caught up to me from behind and instead of biting me I felt a strong hand pull me into sort of like a spaceship, there was this being there that was sort of like a machine and had strange black eyes and on the wall there were faces which it asked me to pick the one that I liked or felt comfortable around.
I chose a brown eyed face of a woman. Mind you I was semiconscious and when I looked down at my hands they were tied with machine like metal ropes.
It had me sit down in front of a computer and the screen was black but there were these colors that appeared one by one, when a certain color like blue or red or purple came up, it had me tell it what color it was, then on the screen there was this multicolored circle kind of like the tree that Laura presents of the different densities. Once that circle popped up, I woke up...
After that dream I felt different the next day, like an important event had happened and something was stolen from me or I had given them access to something.
I didn't dream anything for a few days and mind you I have dreamt every night of my life since I can remember.
When I did dream several days later, I heard this strong loud voice ( I felt it was one of the good guys) and he told me that "they" the bad guys had succeeded and better than I had imagined.
So that's my story.... Most of my life I've had very strange experiences which have slowly awakened me to the fact that there is something sinister out there. After that day I cannot trust my dreams anymore because I am afraid that I have been co-opted. They have done a coup de tate on my mind and even though I'm still fighting against it (notice that I've decided to start posting) I feel less empowered and sad. :(
I was always aware of the entity and could frequently see it in my dreams but haven't been able to do so anymore, so far I've regained some of my abilities to distinguish if I'm in a dream-like state but do not know if I'm being manipulated.
My biggest fear is that I have given them the key to my own destruction because I remember Laura saying in book 6 of the wave series something like it was fair game if STS used any of its' faculties to induce Stockholm's Syndrome.
I'm afraid I've fallen prey to it....