New Attacks

Ben

Jedi Council Member
I've posted a few times in this section of the forum about weird nightmares I have been having for the last few months. To cut a long story short, these are not nightmares but kind of intense 'presences' when I am transitioning from sleep to being awake. Often they involve some kind of 'demonic' form clawing at me to elicit fear and twice I have heard them, once it said my name. Always I am intensely aware during the experience that I must not allow fear to overtake me, that I must stand up to the attack and knowledge will protect me.

Well, I don't know exactly what they are but they haven't stopped. Last night it stepped up a gear, this time I felt like the entity was far more powerful than the previous ones. It felt like it was trying to infiltrate my very being and it took all my courage to defy it. I can't accurately describe these experiences but they are almost certainly not simply nightmares. I have learned much about 'Negs' from reading Robert Bruce and I am aware of the general methods used to counteract them. I'm not sure what to do about my problem, it makes me lose quite a bit of sleep although it does not seem to have any lasting negative effects. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about this or is experienced in dealing with similar phenomena. Also it helps to talk about it, as you can imagine there's not much opportunity to do that with most people!

Edit - I've also noticed that these events seem to correlate with my efforts to remember my dreams. This could be evidence that this is exactly what they are, either way it's not helping my dream recall, which I consider important!
 
G

Guest

Guest
Ben said:
Edit - I've also noticed that these events seem to correlate with my efforts to remember my dreams. This could be evidence that this is exactly what they are, either way it's not helping my dream recall, which I consider important!
Can you elaborate a bit here? How do you feel the attacks correlate with efforts to remember dreams? And how do they tie into your dreams? I could give you an opinion on the rest, but since you make this observation it might be a key to understanding what is going on. I underwent periods of extensive attacks on and off. It is likely your dreams might be revealing where and how these energies are nesting in you and/or accessing you.
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
What I meant is that there seems to be a connection between my daytime intention to recall my dreams properly 'tonight', and the occurence of these attacks. I often forget about dream recall and occasionally I make a strong intention to do this. I said correlation because this does not imply causation. I have little detailed dream imagery to work with because, obviously, my priorities change when awakening from an encounter which leaves my skin crawling all over. All I can tell you is that I am CONSTANTLY dreaming about aquariums with fish or reptiles in, zoos, and the lizzies (the latter obviously only since I have become aware of them).

The attacks develop out of dreams, it is almost as if a perfectly normal dream is suddenly hijacked for the purposes of frightening me. I become suddenly aware of an intense negative presence. Often I grapple with some kind of 'etheral' form, they have a very distinct characteristic feel against my skin which is almost like electricity. When I wake up it is in the exact same position as when I was fighting the attack.

Thanks for your interest!
 
G

Guest

Guest
So: intention to remember dream correlates with night terror experience.

A direct solution would be to stop intending to remember those dreams, and instead staying in bed for a few minutes and try to remember what you can that way. Your subconscious is obviously tuned into a primordial level, to put it one way. Strong intention my open up the door to that level more than the crack needed to gain understanding.

Another thing you can do is go back to the event after waking up in the morning, but not to confront the nasty, but to call upon something that can help you in dealing with it. The presence of this entity generates an imbalance and to restore balance something can help if you focus on your higher centers and make a silent call. Instead of intending to remember the dreams then, intend for the help to come to you. Like a call to grace.

You have obviously become overtly focused on a certain level, as I mentioned above. This is manifesting acutely because there are probably no indications in your external life, due to natural defenses or just your karmic predisposition, so it is all focused in the subconscious (actually I may be confusing you with Novelis here).

Try getting out in nature, even a park if you can. Try picking the tallest tree (and this works well in the Spring when the leaves get green) and rest your back along the trunk. Co-circulate energy with the tree in this manner, keep your mind free of thoughts and open to the energy of the tree. Usually, if you go to a park and just think out your need to heal, a tree will draw you. The trees in Britain are especially acclimated to the human condition. This will help rebalance your energies.

I went through similar experiences over the years when my energy centers were undergoing radical changes. If your mind is tuned to the bad things in the world without a balancing energy, the corresponding thoughtforms and forces behind them tend to focus on you during transition (growth) processes.

The effects you described are acute, but if you are not experiencing health problems or problems in your waking state (obsessive thoughts for example), no serious penetration of your aura has been made. When you have time meditate on the setting or rising sun. You need natural Qi, of both earth and sky, and more than that, you need the patterns of natural harmony to balance out the perverse biomorphic presentations eveloping you in sleep. Drink as pure water as you can find and in healthy amounts. Try drinking no other liquids but water for a week.

As you encounter all of these thoughts about Lizzies and whatnot, try to ponder the other side of the equation and understand that also. You have an all too vivid picture of STS, but can you generate such vividness or even a feeling regarding STO? Anyway, if you move to regain your balance, I don't think there is reason to worry.
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
Thanks for your advice, EQ. I have considered these things before, since I moved to the city three years ago - I want to get back into the countryside and nature. I suppose I don't really understand very well how these events are related to my internal state and subconscious. All I know is that I have attracted attention, and I see that as a good sign. The problem is that I am getting used to these events, and rolling over and going back to sleep without trying to counteract 'negs' like I used to. I can live with it, I feel quite strong. During the events I often feel an immense strength of light which I suggest the enitity behold, and I have often called on help from the higher centres. I don't want to get complacent, however, as last night I think I was dealing with something more powerful than before.

My mind is tuned to the bad things, of course, as most of ours are. If I wasn't I'd have to be fast asleep. Maybe I have neglected that this could have subtle effects on me. I don't believe in the standard 'YCYOR' by what you focus on most, but I'm interested in what you are saying about this. Of course I imagine how things could have been and how they could be in the 'future', but I didn't really see the value of this as compared to doing the work in this severely negatively unbalanced place.
 

Novelis

Jedi Master
Seems to me that you are attracting STS minions towards you, which could be seen as a good sign because it means you are challenging the powers that be. Serves as a confirmation to say the least, but do we really need more proof? I'd strive to look beyond that, as I am sure you have been considering.
As you fight off the lesser demons, it opens up a delightful challenge for more powerful negs. BE CAREFUL OF THIS. As you already know, some negs enjoy playing about with people's lives and make it difficult, but there are some that are supremely experienced in harming human beings and delight in taking down a well meaning soul.
I've found that I often attract demons when I'm in a certain mind state, or when I have increased psychic awareness (Normally when stoned). Working on dreams is a Yin activity, so you could unbalance yourself if you focus on it too much. Try to ponder what attitude you are holding to life at the moment; have you recently undergone positive transformations? (I know it's an ambiguous question, you are obviously changing all the time, but try to determine in which way, why and how, Yang or Yin for example? If you classify the changes in this way, it may offer you clues as to what is going on, how to deal with it and what you should expect as a result) Also, do you both understand the transformation in your mind and in your heart? I've come across many realisations for example in my head, but don't really believe it in the heart, this is an incomplete transformation, Thus making you momentarily vulnerable to attack since there is a chance you could still be put back to sleep, or worse! An opportunity STS would be stupid to neglect. Also, when your body hasn't fully adopted the change, the body is either to Yang or too Yin in places and thus more susceptible to nasty attacks of various kinds. If your physical body isn't manifesting any problems however, then I'd say you're probably alright.

Sometimes an attitude, even of positive orientation like confidence in yourself can be used against you. Thinking to yourself that you are mentally or physically strong can tempt negs for example to destroy this attitude so as to bring about unjustified confidence in yourself, and there are many traps in ego. As I said, some of them LOVE a challenge.

You've always struck me as an extremely Yang person Ben, so any pursuits in building your Yin and reaching for balance is bound to cause some problems. This may just be normal and something to get used to, there may not be a problem at all, but might just be suffering preceding immense change. I've had the same when I started cultivating Yang by doing physical exercise on a daily basis. Since Yang is always the manifestation of Yin, your Yang, although strong and suited to this world, you might be largely unaware of your own essence that created the Yang, this is due to the fact that you've never had to really think about your internal life seriously until recently, the world deems that unnecessary, so while developing your personality at a young age you might have many buffers designed to bar you from further internal progress, this is just speculation though, I can't say for sure that this is the case, but from what you've described as your past perception and beliefs, it would seem likely that living in an environment that doesn't encourage spiritual development might be what's causing problems.

Take it nice and steady, all activities; whether Yin or Yang contributes towards the benefit of each other, the key is balance. I would suggest simple Qi Gong in the morning and before going to bed to balance the body, Qi gong not only builds your strength, increases mental sharpness and awareness, it also stimulates your "Guardian Qi", which wards off physical and spiritual attacks.
Strive for balance, I've found that when the body is harmonious, internal work like lucid dreaming tend to happen naturally anyway. People who concentrate on astral travelling (Yin) without working on their physical body for example tend to end up with horrible physical problems, I assume your external (Physical) body is strong, but compared to that, your inner self is still like a child, with many childish assumptions, not only that, but it might not be disciplined or wilful enough to handle strong attacks.

You called this place a negatively unbalanced place, if you mean our 3rd density world and our controllers then you are right, it is unbalanced, but if you account for all the dimensions working through this plane at the moment and throughout the past, balance is quite apparently "here" in a different way. I've found it well useful to tune into STO forces to help me, there is no harm in it, call it prayer if you will, in my opinion, there is no difference between the work and this.
In the work, I strive mainly for a "complete" system, that is, work that accounts for all levels of our existence, it seems to me that your internal self and external self isn't in tune with each other, so that might be where the problems are arising, what am I talking about?! That's basically the source of ALL problems. Your spirit, mind and body cannot be separated, work on one means work on the other.
EQ Said: You have an all too vivid picture of STS, but can you generate such vividness or even a feeling regarding STO?
Ben Said: Of course I imagine how things could have been and how they could be in the 'future', but I didn't really see the value of this as compared to doing the work in this severely negatively unbalanced place.

EQ, in my definition of terms, that's a fine example of spiritual regulation I think, it opens up and builds upon a channel between you and higher forces, which is in the same spectrum as the work.
Taking EQ's suggestion of going against a tree is a good idea, but if you are going to do that, you might as well take up some form of Yoga so you can benefit the same way while cultivating a skill of doing so. The benefit here of course is increased and balanced Qi flow, which I can safely say will sort out your current problem, and then some.

I don't think these entities are attacking you for the sole purpose of scaring you; more often than not they are here to confuse, manipulate and distract you from further progress. Maybe you are developing a good way of interpreting your dreams, so they want to distract you from this, whether you are scared or not might be beside the point. The fact that they can distract you serves their purpose, we all have higher guardians we can call for help, and perhaps learning to fight these negs is something you consciously have to learn for some reason. Don't underestimate the cunning of STS, a while ago you shocked me by saying you think the powers that be has underestimated us, I don't think this is the case at all, speaking from experience and how they have "worked" on me.

EQ said: You have obviously become overtly focused on a certain level, as I mentioned above. This is manifesting acutely because there are probably no indications in your external life, due to natural defences or just your karmic predisposition, so it is all focused in the subconscious (actually I may be confusing you with Novelis here).

I'm not sure what you mean here, maybe I have the wrong idea of what you mean, but by no means have I become focused on a certain level, quite the opposite in fact, it's true that I have had the tendency to focus on my inner life, which is indeed due to karmic predisposition and my past experience I believe, but I have found that I have only felt completely satisfied with the method of my work once I understood the importance of working on as many levels ranging from absolute internal to absolute external. By no means have I perfected my method, but since your statement is based on my previous posts, I have obviously not made myself clear enough because that wasn't my point.

Ben, I have a good few books I think you would really benefit from, I'll let you know what they are when they will be available for your use if you like.
 
G

Guest

Guest
YCYOR, as I understand it is just that: Your will/intent/desire is directly responsable for all your circumstances. This attitude has led to much abuse. On the one hand some interpret will/intent/desire as wishful thinking and think they can daydream themselves to a better life. On the other hand, others have thought that they can force their will upon circumsances and command themselves to a better life.

Both these directions are ineffective in the end (although the second generates psychic pressures that can result in conflictual and coersive thoughtforms flying about). They are ineffective because they do not take into account the nature of the reality acted upon. This reality is not a passive slave to anyone's whim, but has its own distinct nature.

The other extreme is to say that we have no influence upon reality at all, except through our physical actions. This view, however, denies the continuity of the reality, and our place in that continuity. So while the extreme of "you create reality" is arrogant at best, the denial that you are part of reality's feedback dynamic at the psychic level, and contribute to that feedback with your overall psychic state, can be a denial of valuable knowledge when it is needed most.

Your psychic state has been your strength obviously, but when you combine that strength with a focus on the forms of negativity (rather than its underlying causes for example) you essentially issue a challenge like the knight in front of the monster's cave. And it seems the monsters have been coming out, and up to now you have been able to deal with them. Yet, as you say, they have been getting bigger and badder. I really don't want to interfere here, since this may be what you want or even need to do, i.e., test your limits. On the other hand, doing the work doesn't necessarily imply such confrontations to be fruitful, that is unless you are sure it is your way.

Even so, you have said this is all because you are simply intending to remember you dreams, which sounds innocent enough. It stands to reason that something does not want you to remember your dreams. This can be either because something is attracted to you and trying to act upon or through your subconscious, or because you are tuned into something and it doesn't want you penetrating what it considers its territory.

What I suggested was an attempt to elliminate the second possibility, because if the first is true you have no choice but TO confront it, preferably with as much help from the Universe as you can get. And that is because if something is screwing with your subconscious you have a right if not an obligation to deal with it in any way possible. If on the other hand it is you who are strongly focused on it, it may be best to first take stock of the situation before rushing in where angles fear to tread, as it were.

I only posted a reply because you sounded a bit concerned in your original post. My only advice now would then be to get out and circulate energies in nature and with trees, as I described above. The rest is up to you. It seems these astral bullies are also testing your limits, and now is certainly not the time to get complacent because they may have reached a point where they got you to flinch. Once they see you flinch or take pause at least, the next step may be to get you to say "uncle".

So I don't want to either encourage or discourage you. I've confronted a lot at that level mainly because I had to, and went through a phase of actually calling these things up to understand them and claim back old parts of myself they were holding. Anyone else would have rightly thought I was crazy, but I felt I had to do it, and am glad I did. So be aware and be prepared because if you don't know who you are and what your potential really is these manifestations can surprise you in unpleasant ways, although you may actually learn alot from such experiences.

I would say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with it.
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
Ok, thanks again guys. Last night I strongly intended to remember my dreams upon waking, as a sort of 'experiment' and I had a normal night, no nightmares or other negative events. More than anything I am interested in seeing how this works and what exactly I am dealing with, unless things really take a turn for the worse then I'm sure it will be fine.

" It seems these astral bullies are also testing your limits, and now is certainly not the time to get complacent because they may have reached a point where they got you to flinch. Once they see you flinch or take pause at least, the next step may be to get you to say "uncle". "

I didn't flinch. Like I said in my earlier post, my main worry is that I am becoming too complacent about these things rather than too concerned.

Another thing which has been happening recently is that I'm often seeing 'things' out of the corner of my eye like flashes or movements, nothing tangible. One of these was quite distinct, but I'm still wary of jumping to conclusions. Maybe I need to stop playing so much doom metal in my house!
 
G

Guest

Guest
Novelis said:
EQ said:
You have obviously become overtly focused on a certain level, as I mentioned above. This is manifesting acutely because there are probably no indications in your external life, due to natural defences or just your karmic predisposition, so it is all focused in the subconscious (actually I may be confusing you with Novelis here).
I'm not sure what you mean here, maybe I have the wrong idea of what you mean, but by no means have I become focused on a certain level, quite the opposite in fact, it's true that I have had the tendency to focus on my inner life, which is indeed due to karmic predisposition and my past experience I believe, but I have found that I have only felt completely satisfied with the method of my work once I understood the importance of working on as many levels ranging from absolute internal to absolute external. By no means have I perfected my method, but since your statement is based on my previous posts, I have obviously not made myself clear enough because that wasn't my point.
I guess, I'm the one not clarifying. The reference to you only regarded something I believe you said to the effect that you were not experiencing negativity in your external life. You are obviously not experiencing nightmares to my knowledge, and the focus on a certain level was referring to Ben's subconscious concentration on Lizzies and the whole STS "zoo" that was manifesting repeatedly in dreams.

I try not to discuss the experiences of a third party that is not currently part of the thread (although I may slip up now and then). This was only a reference to your expressed lack of particular negative experiences in outer life (if again I am correct that it was you that said this).

Ben said:
I didn't flinch. Like I said in my earlier post, my main worry is that I am becoming too complacent about these things rather than too concerned.
Yes, I was wondering if I should even have written that. The thing is, the experiences are beginning to become disturbing as you describe them.

Ben said:
Often they involve some kind of 'demonic' form clawing at me to elicit fear and twice I have heard them, once it said my name. Always I am intensely aware during the experience that I must not allow fear to overtake me, that I must stand up to the attack and knowledge will protect me.

Well, I don't know exactly what they are but they haven't stopped. Last night it stepped up a gear, this time I felt like the entity was far more powerful than the previous ones. It felt like it was trying to infiltrate my very being and it took all my courage to defy it. I can't accurately describe these experiences but they are almost certainly not simply nightmares. I have learned much about 'Negs' from reading Robert Bruce and I am aware of the general methods used to counteract them. I'm not sure what to do about my problem, it makes me lose quite a bit of sleep although it does not seem to have any lasting negative effects.
When you combine that description with the ones about being in a fighting posture and of feeling electrical energy, if it was me I would have flinched, meaning I would start thinking twice about what is going on. Flinch here is not meant in the sense of being cowardly or anything like that, just that the event is noticeably impacting. Such descriptions are surely enough to raise the hackles on most people, you have to agree.

These are definitely not simply nightmares, and I find it interesting that the event is gone. Maybe addressing it in this manner helped, maybe it will return. Maybe doom metal is not the best thing to play when you are going through energetic transitions. Anyway, as long as you're comfortable with it, that's all that matters.
 

Mr. Premise

The Living Force
My advice would be to set aside your linear time concepts (which the C's say are illusions) when thinking about STS and STO. STO might better be thought of as not "past" or "future" but rather "here" or "somewhere else."

Also, along the lines of what EQ says about balancing, you may be right to want to balance your music listening if you're overly focussed on "bad things." Might want to listen to a little more uplifting "B" influenced music. When we listen to music, we vibrate in sync with other vibrations. That is the problem with death/doom metal and dark video games. Some find them cathartic, but it can also lead to a choice to vibrate in sympathy with the darker vibrations or else a dissonance if one tries to maintain another vibration. Anyway, my two cents is that your intuition may be correct that you are summoning these entities with vibrations they may be sympathetic with. Of course things aren't as simple as "positive" and "negative" music. Much positive sounding music (and culture generally) can hide negative messages very effectively and vice versa.

It might also be useful to re-read EsoQuest's posts of the last few days about how the PTB wants us to think things are hopeless. Doom metal may play into that.

On the other hand, if you are already effectively handling the negative "bids" as I think Michael Topper put it, they may just stop and you may rebalance naturally.


Ben said:
My mind is tuned to the bad things, of course, as most of ours are. If I wasn't I'd have to be fast asleep. Maybe I have neglected that this could have subtle effects on me. I don't believe in the standard 'YCYOR' by what you focus on most, but I'm interested in what you are saying about this. Of course I imagine how things could have been and how they could be in the 'future', but I didn't really see the value of this as compared to doing the work in this severely negatively unbalanced place...

Another thing which has been happening recently is that I'm often seeing 'things' out of the corner of my eye like flashes or movements, nothing tangible. One of these was quite distinct, but I'm still wary of jumping to conclusions. Maybe I need to stop playing so much doom metal in my house!
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
Yes, I was only half joking when I mentioned the music. I have started listening to chinese and baroque classical music as well as beautiful uplifting Bjork and John McLaughlin recently.

Sorry, EQ, I misunderstood what you meant by the term 'flinch' and I agree with you, the first time it happened I was worrying about it all day. When these events happen though, it is always as if something higher is giving me courage and mental fortitude. Once a voice from within me literally compelled the attacker to behold the light and it was very exhilarating. I think this came from the knowledge that I have gathered about these things and my understanding that they have certain weaknesses. My main problem here is that words do not describe these things well, as you know, and I may have missed the 'essence' of the encounter.

DonaldJHunt wrote: "My advice would be to set aside your linear time concepts (which the C's say are illusions) when thinking about STS and STO. STO might better be thought of as not "past" or "future" but rather "here" or "somewhere else."

Yes, I put 'future' rather than future for that very purpose. Should have been clearer.

I'd be interested to hear about your experiences EQ, if you would be interesting in recounting any of them!
 
C

Cricket

Guest
I wish to colaborate with the suggestion that you need to find a "edge". A "edge" is the profile (sillouhete) of something. Because you need a "point of reference" and, to that end, I can suggest you requiere of "mapping" -this, to find a edge.
EsoQuest's suggestions to engage into, or obtain, sintony (trees, water... natural Qi) are great solution, and not just an "approaching step" as one might think due to the apparent "mildness" of what has been suggested: In such a way, you would start to, and eventually get to replentish your energy, like adding water to a glass: It pushes the old water up, untill it starts to abbandon the container.
Ben said:
I don't really understand very well how these events are related to my internal state and subconscious
It seems to me you are indeed getting complacent: We get used to small, passenger pains. We bear them if they come a bit stronger next time and finally we "forgive" the monstruous appearance we might end having. It is my opinion you are on this actitude because of a lack of a edge wich will come/lead you to un-veil for you, as I was sayaing, a general shape of something. An abstract shape. Usually the shillouete of a situation. This lack effects a non-understanding of the events related to both, your inner and outer existance: You feel strong and you are getting used to this events, neglecting this could have got subtle effects on you. That is: You wake-up to continue life as normal.
Thing is, a inner expression is the consequence of a outter status: Dreams are expressing something which IS there -the experiences you report are problematic. Why? THIS is the thing to map, to get to find a edge, to get to follow such edge, to get to achieve a more general perspective and thus, to be able to recognize a panorama. I am suggesting you to slowly move the direction of your sight/attention, from the inner contents of your dreams (and the worries, or better, lack of worries this provokes on you), towards the exterior.
I woud get a voice recorder next to bed to talk all memories or interactions of/withinn those dreams/presences.
On the other hand, I would map my courrent life: Who I am in contact with. Why/how I became in contact with this person, what situations/thoughts/inner evaluations followed such interactions... Just being conscient of this happenings/relationships with the faith that it is SUCH A WORLD the one which is being expressed by those dreams.
Dreams are a expression.
Not to change the interactions/situations. Just to map them, to be able to see they are there. To recognize them.
I would do this before adventuring into other hypothesis involving extradimentional entities because, if getting to such extents, this previous work would provide a solid backbone to submit the intuitions to re-interpretation on the part of your subconcious.
This is what I think. I think this is why you have not been too worried: The dreams/presences are still somehow exterior agents provoking a interior expression, as if they were on the phase of the approach. To catch this manouver, and to re-interpret it by means of being able to distinguish a profile/shape/sillhouete through the mapping of your normal life and "just awakening" states, will transform the terrain this phenomena uses to "get" at you.
Demons are more real than waht we might suspect!
Ultimatelly, the final objective of the experiences you report is, evidently, to get to control you. Well, cross the finish line first, and obtain controll of your self before them!
Purpose!
Energy!
And, as always, the best interpretation is the one of the dreamer.
 

Cyre2067

The Living Force
Actually Ben this girl i know, she's tuned in or psychically active or whatever you want to call it. Her intuition is strong, but she's clueless when it comes to hyperdimensions etc, anyway i digress. She described the seeing peeps or things outta the corner of her eye to me just the other night! So i figured id relay it. I don't get that ever, sometimes i feel as if im being followed but i can never see anything there, it's only a feeling.

:-)
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
Just to clarify, Cricket, my normal dreams are quite different from these 'events'. I think I have established that these 'events' are not dreams, they happen while I am asleep and they may develop from dreams but they have nothing in common with my normal dreaming life. I have thought about external events and relationships, and I have long wanted to get back out into nature as I used to do all the time.

I have become lazy about dream recall and interpretation (I used to be proficient at dream recall and lucid dreaming), and frequently I intend strongly to get back on track. But, as I'm sure you all know, this is just one of my many 'I's' making this decision. My priority is self observation and the Work:

"Ultimatelly, the final objective of the experiences you report is, evidently, to get to control you. Well, cross the finish line first, and obtain controll of your self before them!" - Exactly!

When I said "I don't really understand very well how these events are related to my internal state and subconscious" I was not denying that they do, I meant that I simply have not considered this properly. I would like to understand this, which is one of the reasons that I am presenting my experiences to people like those on this forum. It's a great help!
 

Novelis

Jedi Master
This reminds me of a rather curious incident that happened a few weeks ago. I was stood outside on a train station platform, when what appeared to be a cloud of smoke rose past me several metres away, I thought nothing of it at first obviously, just thought someone behind me was smoking a cigarette. This conclusion quickly dissolved away however when this cloud, or should I say, after a more thorough examination, it was a complex interweaving structure of wisps that held some sort of ethereal structure. It couldn't have been smoke because smoke would immediately dissipate into the air, especially because in was windy and raining. It simply maintained it's tightly bound structure, spiralling in itself, completely unaffected by the physical environment as it ascended past my field of vision; it just kept going far away into the distance. I watched in amazement as I looked around to see if anyone else saw it, and to my surprise, no one around me was smoking! This is one example of a huge multitude of unexplainable phenomenon I seem to witness nearly everyday now. It's rather distracting sometimes when I am speaking to someone and there are wisps of energy whizzing around them, which reminds me, sometimes my vision does just go completely black for a split second, I thought that I was just blinking at first, but I noticed that my mind also goes completely black for that split second, what's going on?!

Ben, how is the self observation going? I've been realising recently just how easy it is to forget and fall back asleep, it's one of the most difficult endeavours I've ever embarked upon, it's easy to observe I find while the information is fresh in your head, but situations change so rapidly, and there are so many little I's affecting such a huge range of scenarios that it seems the task is endless, that's not to say I think it's unachievable, I'm just realising how ignorant I am on a deeper level, and I'm sure I'll only discover this fact on more levels as time goes by.
You should stop listening to so much God speed you black emperor Ben! ;)
 
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