My first attempt

[D69]

Ok guys this is my first attempt to fight this <i dunno how to call it>
Ill try to describe this.
Whenever i have something (IMO) in mind that is important , then i have the tendency to forget it.
At first i found this very uncomfortable (before sott , before ark blogs , before whole "the wave" ) just because it looked like memory looses. I never had a tendency to remember dates of birthdays etc etc , and i was pretty surprised when i found out that a lot of my friends/colegues does in fact remember those dates (including mine :/ )
Later it moved to workplace. I couldt remember simple (but important ) stuff from normal, daily social life in work , i only had that all written down somewhere in back of my mind - in other words , i knew it happened , but i could not recall exact situation.
And then Sott/wave/and other stuff came into my life. Then i started to realize that maybe i have just bad memory or maybe untrained memory. That feeling feeded me for long time. I bought books to fight this "short memory" problem but i always kept on forgetting to read them :/. And i dont really think its a lazzyness problem here :/.
Finally , and in fact , actually a while ago i realized that something external tries to "help"me on forgetting stuff.
Why do i think that way ?
Well , i think i drive a private war against myself , at least i used to think it is myself , but now i am slowly moving to the point where i am thinking its ME against something that is NOT ME.
............
Funny thing here , i had to make a small break just to go to toilet and viola!
I simply forgot what i meant and what i wanted to write :/
......................
There is more to cover.
I also have these "inside talks" problem. Earlier , i used it as shield against the world.
Now i understand world totally different. So the shield is useless now , and now i really know that was a bad shield - shield based on other people misery , other people misunderstanding etc etc .
These "inside talks" tries to tell me that i am so good and so great that i dont need anyone as a friend. As a contra , there is other voice that argues with that anti-everyone. Well i know it sounds very strange , but remember that my regular english is really poor and that i dont have all proper words to describe it all. Also it may sound a little bit like schizophrenia.
Anyways , it happens all the time ,whenever i want to write something (again IMO ) important on Sott , i just simply forget it a second ( LITERALLY ) after i thought about it.
I am curious if any one had similar problem.
I would like to hear your comments guys about this whole thing.

Is it just my short memory problem ? or is it something more ? Or is it something my "bad" alter-ego tried to make up ? :/

 

[Mark]

Hi drygol, it sounds to me as though you might be disassociating, which unfortunately is a condition that a lot of people suffer from - and most probably don't even realize it. You might consider reading Martha Stout's book, The Myth of Sanity, as a starting point for understanding the overall issue. Of course there could be some other causes for your situation but I'd bet that at least part of it is disassociation.

 

[hungrig]

This won't be much of a feedback, cuz I ain't knowledgeable in these topics. But FWIW. When I were younger (still young) I had sort of conversations with myself mentally, til it became drainfull and hard not to be otherwise. Also I used it like an shield from the world. Mainly because I felt alienated, that something was wrong with the world and perhaps my local.

I were paranoid, I though I were watched, perhaps under control ,being abducted, implanted, ECT. Sounds weird I know. One particular thing I feared, very paranoid about, namely myself and my own memory. I though I were being tampered with, I though that I had forgotten something. What was it?
After that I discovered the word 'conspiracy', got involved, put many hours into these all infinite theories on whos ruling the world, and here I am.

One thing I noticed early on is, I forget stuff. All from my dreams to what I though about to say, but I knew I forgot stuff and there is the key. Many people forget things and never remember even if reminded. These people with different I 's in the thousands especially, it might be that we are living in mass hypnosis? So this could simply be a state of the mind. I think that you should put much effort in observations, and speed up the work on your self.

Just my thoughts and experience, still on the journey, glad to share.

 

[Janeille]

my question is- are you getting the right nutrients? perhaps your memory lapses are due to a lack of omega 3 fatty acids in your diet, very common with the modern diet, or some other type deficiency, like B-vitamins? I am not a doctor, but I have noticed improved memory in myself since I started regularly taking cod liver oil for omega 3's. B-vitamins are supposed to be good brain vitamins, too--- and a lack of these vitamins has been associated with schitzophrenia.

I like Mark's idea about maybe you're dissociating. I think everyone does it, I know I do it, some do it more than others.

 

[D69]

Thank you guys for your answers.

You might consider reading Martha Stout's book, The Myth of Sanity, as a starting point for understanding the overall issue.

Ok , ill try to go through this book to cover my lacks of knowledge in this area.

So this could simply be a state of the mind. I think that you should put much effort in observations, and speed up the work on your self.

Yes i totally i agree , that speedup is needed here , and i finally will have an opportunity - i just quit my job few days ago and i am moving to other country.

Just my thoughts and experience, still on the journey, glad to share.

thank you , i really do appreciate it.

my question is- are you getting the right nutrients?

I never cared that much about my body but here you just hit bingo!
Actually my diet is a disaster and i have to work in this area too.
Thank you for pointing out that omega 3 fatty acids. I tried it last year i but i guess period was to short to notice changes.

Funny thing is that i started to realize that these memory lapses are with me from my early childhood. I just started to notice that when i compared myself to other people through my whole life.
Maybe i am wrong here , but this could exclude diet and mind problems.
In general i can remember things that are not that important , like technical data of some parts , but i tend to forget stuff that is important.Just like hungrig wrote

One thing I noticed early on is, I forget stuff. All from my dreams to what I though about to say, but I knew I forgot stuff and there is the key.

My friends laughs at me sometimes and they say that i should construct special calendar with IP addresses instead of dates because this way i would not forget to call them with birthday wishes :)

Also there are a lot of strange things happening lately in my life.
Like i said , i just quit my job. It all started with my hair problem. At this moment almost all of my strong dark hair are gone from my head and are slowly exchanged by very thin light ones. Doctors of course know this "dot baldness" disease but they dont know general cause of it ( i already visited 4 very good dermatologists ). All they say is that it could be caused by strong stress , which i dont actualy feel. I rather felt anger for last 2 years and that was caused by , i call it "facist methods" at my work place.
In general , all my team of friends changed to dogfighting , money seeking fiends. So i decided in one moment that it enough.
So basicaly i am now quite young , bald and with memory lapses which i find amusing combination :)
Anyways , thats how my work for corporation ended , and i quit it to see if it really was one of problems i face nowadays.
Maybe all above is strongly connected , maybe not. I am trying to find it out now , and i am grateful for your sugestions.

 

[webglider]

I rather felt anger for last 2 years and that was caused by , i call it "facist methods" at my work place.

Hey Drygol:

It seems that the facist methods at work may have a lot to do with what is happening to you. Stress is the basis for a lot of physical and mental health problems.

Even though you are out of the pathological work environment, you may still continue to feel its effects on your health and emotions.

It took me about two years to recover from my experience; hopefully, it will be faster for you.

In terms of memory, you might want to consider memorizing a few lines from favorite poems each day. It's like strengthening a muscle. Just memorize two lines the first day and add one or two each day after until you can handle more lines. You need to practice each day and review the learned lines before you add new ones.

This is a concrete way that you can measure how far you've come and may give you confidence.

There may not be anything wrong with your memory at all. Stess reduction, (yoga, Tai Chi), and godd nutrition may really help to ameliorate this concern.

I wish you well. I've been there.

 

[clearmiddle]

<snip>I am curious if any one had similar problem ... Is it just my short memory problem ? or is it something more ? Or is it something my "bad" alter-ego tried to make up ? :/

Hi Drygol,

I think you are doing well at remembering issues, painting a picture, and searching for patterns, so you can remember important things, given time to think about it. In my experience, sometimes the problem isn't so much with "remembering" as with "connecting" the memories.

The answer to your question could well be "all of the above." Other things I know of from my personal experience that might have similar symptoms are hormonal imbalances (possibly congenital), autistic spectrum issues, and dissociation (which has already been mentioned).

I have short-term memory issues, but I haven't been able to identify a single cause. I know that I have dissociation issues and I am reading the book The Myth of Sanity right now. As was suggested earlier, that could be a good place to start.

 

[D69]

Even though you are out of the pathological work environment, you may still continue to feel its effects on your health and emotions.

It took me about two years to recover from my experience; hopefully, it will be faster for you.

Thats what i was thinking and also thats why i am completely changing my envrioment. I just hope , ill not slip into worse hole.
But thats good to hear that you recovered - after 2 years but still recovered.

In terms of memory, you might want to consider memorizing a few lines from favorite poems each day.

That is good idea , and I will have to fight my laziness a little and try to do something in this field. Like you wrote - its like a muscle , and one need to train it to keep its good condition.

I know that I have dissociation issues and I am reading the book The Myth of Sanity right now. As was suggested earlier, that could be a good place to start.

This book is on me "to read" list. Mainly because i have poor idea about what dissasociation problem is.
To be honest , i never thought i will have such problems. Until that hair loss thing happened , nothing was going on with me.
Only my wife and mother always kept on talking that i am always angry. When i realized that i really have that anger managment issue , i started to dig more things.
Funny thing is that my mind tries to trick me that everything is alright - now i know its not - i gotta work more.

Again , big thanks for your feedback guys.