Hi all
Had some things on my mind for a month now and wanted to share them. Feedback would be welcome, as I'm wondering if I've put too much thought into these things/the cart before the hoarse.
Ok, so I've been trying to self observe. And managed to do better than I usually do a few weeks back, thinking about it I noticed my avoidence strategies for taking responsibility for things (goofing off at work).
Boiled my observations down to 3 things.
1) Learn/understand that all is lessons (from the C's) which led too
2) Understand How to learn those lessons (G's work which I've only skirted)
3) Understand how you Avoid those lessons....
The following day I slipped right back into avoiding my responsibility (lessons)...and spent the entire day goofing off at work..hmm
Driving home I was still in the same mode and thinking about what I wanted to do when I got home (mind elsewhere basically all day)
To be brought back to earth by the guy infront of me slamming on his breaks!
Self observing in that situation is one of the weirdest things I've ever done.
Being aware of paralell thought processes. The following went through my head/body all at the same time.
*Hit break peddle
Oh Shxx gonna hit that car
I don't want to do this (this thought trailed out)
*Relax your body so you don't get wiplash
So this is what its like/I'm like in a crisis
I only just shunted the guy infront...the guy behind crushed my boot/front of his car by about a foot.
None of us hurt (Got out the car and made sure they where both alright)...ended up in a strangely elated (probably adrenaline/dopamean...and having learnt about it last week, probably disasociated) for about a week or 2.
The whole line of traffic infront of me for about 300metes had shunts...my car ended up the worst (writtern off by the guy behind).
Still dealing with insurance companies (oh the fun). But did consider my avoidance of paying attention (awareness of lessons) to be an influencing factor in this event. A preverbial kick up the bum from the universe.
Now something about this all I considered recently that I didn't at the time was the level of trouble involved.
The only damage to the front of my car and the guy infront was bumpers. The damage behind was extensive.
Even if I was paying attention, would I perhaps still have had my car writtern off from behind? I can't remember the exact thought process but it crystalised in the idea as follows:
If you see a problem/accident/disaster coming check (physically or metaphorically) behind you.
The thing that prompted me to share my thoughts on this was a 30second dream I had this morning. Weather its a reflection of my own thoughts or something useful I'm not sure.
I was watching a slide show, and up came a picture of a huge tidal wave (guessing at 100meters tall), set against a stormy sky (I could hardly see the sky, it was blotted out by the wave). Except the wave was traveling away from me....I was behind it
The slide show changed slides once more and this time I was stood by the sea on a grassy flood barrier, with a wall (literally) of water 100meters infront of me....static. No longer a wave but a wall.
I was awe struck at this 'disaster' waiting to happen, wondering what had caused it and why I was behind it (or even near it....front row seats?).
Then my thought about disasters came to mind. In the same sort of way the car crash happened (in an instant with parallel thoughts), I looked to my left to see the sea crashing (about a meter high, 10meters to my left). Instantly aware of how it would drag me out to sea. So I threw myself (now with wet feet) down the other side of flood barrier and landed next to a tree with the idea of holding on to it. Then I woke up.
So my thought is....too active imagination? Rerading too much into looking for metaphores?
Anything to my ideas? :)
Had some things on my mind for a month now and wanted to share them. Feedback would be welcome, as I'm wondering if I've put too much thought into these things/the cart before the hoarse.
Ok, so I've been trying to self observe. And managed to do better than I usually do a few weeks back, thinking about it I noticed my avoidence strategies for taking responsibility for things (goofing off at work).
Boiled my observations down to 3 things.
1) Learn/understand that all is lessons (from the C's) which led too
2) Understand How to learn those lessons (G's work which I've only skirted)
3) Understand how you Avoid those lessons....
The following day I slipped right back into avoiding my responsibility (lessons)...and spent the entire day goofing off at work..hmm
Driving home I was still in the same mode and thinking about what I wanted to do when I got home (mind elsewhere basically all day)
To be brought back to earth by the guy infront of me slamming on his breaks!
Self observing in that situation is one of the weirdest things I've ever done.
Being aware of paralell thought processes. The following went through my head/body all at the same time.
*Hit break peddle
Oh Shxx gonna hit that car
I don't want to do this (this thought trailed out)
*Relax your body so you don't get wiplash
So this is what its like/I'm like in a crisis
I only just shunted the guy infront...the guy behind crushed my boot/front of his car by about a foot.
None of us hurt (Got out the car and made sure they where both alright)...ended up in a strangely elated (probably adrenaline/dopamean...and having learnt about it last week, probably disasociated) for about a week or 2.
The whole line of traffic infront of me for about 300metes had shunts...my car ended up the worst (writtern off by the guy behind).
Still dealing with insurance companies (oh the fun). But did consider my avoidance of paying attention (awareness of lessons) to be an influencing factor in this event. A preverbial kick up the bum from the universe.
Now something about this all I considered recently that I didn't at the time was the level of trouble involved.
The only damage to the front of my car and the guy infront was bumpers. The damage behind was extensive.
Even if I was paying attention, would I perhaps still have had my car writtern off from behind? I can't remember the exact thought process but it crystalised in the idea as follows:
If you see a problem/accident/disaster coming check (physically or metaphorically) behind you.
The thing that prompted me to share my thoughts on this was a 30second dream I had this morning. Weather its a reflection of my own thoughts or something useful I'm not sure.
I was watching a slide show, and up came a picture of a huge tidal wave (guessing at 100meters tall), set against a stormy sky (I could hardly see the sky, it was blotted out by the wave). Except the wave was traveling away from me....I was behind it
The slide show changed slides once more and this time I was stood by the sea on a grassy flood barrier, with a wall (literally) of water 100meters infront of me....static. No longer a wave but a wall.
I was awe struck at this 'disaster' waiting to happen, wondering what had caused it and why I was behind it (or even near it....front row seats?).
Then my thought about disasters came to mind. In the same sort of way the car crash happened (in an instant with parallel thoughts), I looked to my left to see the sea crashing (about a meter high, 10meters to my left). Instantly aware of how it would drag me out to sea. So I threw myself (now with wet feet) down the other side of flood barrier and landed next to a tree with the idea of holding on to it. Then I woke up.
So my thought is....too active imagination? Rerading too much into looking for metaphores?
Anything to my ideas? :)
