Identifying with the body

[3DStudent]

Hello all, I just wanted to share a predicament that I currently am in. Well, I have for the most part of my life it seems been overweight and obese. I never really liked being fat and was self-conscious about it. I didn't however, get teased about it and was able to still function in some physical activities as a child.

But recently I have taken to losing weight via exercise and eating less. I do light manual labor as well so this helps, and I just exercise on weekends. I'm now down to a normal weight, although some charts say that I am underweight. I still have some "baby fat" and want to lose more. Family and friends have noticed my change and it seems most aren't supportive and even want me to stop. I don't think I'm overdoing it, and it's taken over a year and a half to get where I am. I've been feeling fatigued lately though and have a lot less energy. I don't know if its less weight, decreased muscle mass, the breathing program, being gluten free, or lessening candida provokers.

What I wanted to address is that I seem to be focused and identifying with my body. I'm not saying that taking care of oneself isn't beneficial, but I am reminded of what Laura said in the Eiru Eolas thread where she talks about connecting with the higher self. That we'll be no longer identifying with the body and we will be using it as a tool. (I can't remember or find her exact words and the page number it's on, but it was a long, very encouraging post about what happens as you do EE.)

So I was wondering if all these efforts I am doing are worth it and not focusing too much on the body? I could save nearly 2 hours on weekends if I didn't do it. It seems most of this board is about diets, but is exercise as important too?

 

[gaman]

Hi 3d Student,

From what I understand, the work on the body is helpful to contribute to balancing mind/body/spirit and useful as a further enabler for the work on oneself. If you are unhealthy (regardless of weight) and toxified, it is an impediment to doing the work because you don't feel good, can't think clearly, etc.

It seems to me that putting effort towards getting healthy is a good thing, but that doesn't necessarily equate to weight and/or baby fat. I mean, you can get skinny if you only eat 1 hamburger a day and nothing else, but you can still be very unhealthy.

Worrying about "baby fat" appears to be worrying about your looks as opposed to viewing the body as an instrument that needs to function better to support the work. I'm very obese and when I'm not thinking objectively am embarrassed by my weight because of how I look now and what people / old friends would think of me if they saw me. In more clear thinking times I see that practically I need to get much healthier and detox, so that I can be a better obvyatel and think more clearly for the work. Perhaps thinking along those lines would help you to better discern how you are perceiving your weight and acting on it -- a change of focus so to speak.

 

[henry]

You haven't mentioned whether or not you are following the diet suggestions here on the forum.

It sounds as if you are close to your 'ideal' body weight. If you follow the Ultrasimple diet, stop eating unhealthy and toxic foods, your body should begin to find its proper weight. Perhaps it would be better to start thinking in wider terms, not just weight, but health. If you do not have energy, then changing your food seems to me to be a better place to focus your energies than solely on weight.

 

[3DStudent]

Thank you for the replies gaman and Galahad.

I agree gaman that you can be overweight and still be unhealthy and toxic. I've been doing this mainly for looks and self-esteem. Just losing weight won't be much help as detoxing so that I can be more objective.

You haven't mentioned whether or not you are following the diet suggestions here on the forum.

I've cut out gluten and soy. I'm not totally candida free; I've been eating some fruit, nuts, and occasional sugar. I eat mostly within the brown rice, beans, and vegetables diet though.

 

[pete02]

Hi 3D Student,

I think exercise is important and no you shouldn't quit it but you should be doing it for the right reason. You say that 'some charts' state you are underweight which to me says you might be overdoing it and could be the cause of your lack of energy. Remember with that nasty flu season on the way we should be strengthening and detoxing our bodies, not so much trying to look good. :P I too am overweight for my build but with some slight changes to my diet and a little detoxing, my weight seems to be coming down slowly. Just out of curiosity tho, you say that you are underweight by some standards so why do you feel you still need to lose more weight?

Just as a last thought, It might just be me, but I found that doing the E/E program everyday was a little much. I absolutely love doing it but I was finding that when I skipped a day in between, my energy and train of thought was much better. I now do it in the morning and evening on Mondays and Thursdays and any other day I feel up to it of course.

 

[mada85]

What I wanted to address is that I seem to be focused and identifying with my body. I'm not saying that taking care of oneself isn't beneficial, but I am reminded of what Laura said in the Eiru Eolas thread where she talks about connecting with the higher self. That we'll be no longer identifying with the body and we will be using it as a tool.

I’d like to add to what others have written here, that what you describe is the ultimate goal of our work here, but as with any tool, the body needs to be well maintained and free of defects as far as possible, otherwise we won’t be able to use its full range of possibilities. You wouldn’t try to trim a hedge with rusty shears, now, would you? You would go off to the garage, clean them, oil them and sharpen, then return to the hedge.

So, I don’t think you should necessarily be worried about identifying with the body. Just take care of it sensibly and things will settle down. Hope this helps.

 

[3DStudent]

Thanks for the replies Pete02 and mada85.

Just out of curiosity tho, you say that you are underweight by some standards so why do you feel you still need to lose more weight?

I guess it's just to see how far I can go, I wanted to get as low as I could. But I'm realizing that this is probably not too important because it's based on how I view myself physically. As far as doing the EE program every day, I only did it once a week until we were advised to do it Mon. and Thurs. If I did it every day that would leave out less time for reading sott and the forum.

I agree mada85 about the cleaning machine analogy. The better our tools are, the better we can use them to Work. So maybe I'm improperly cleaning my tool or cleaning it too much.

This is kind of "funny"/symbolic because today my grandma came over. She was really upset with my current condition and expressed a lot of emotion over it. I was just defensive and rationalized the many questions I was asked. It would seem at least externally considerate to maybe ease up a little bit because I am making such a ripple externally, but I am reminded of not determining the needs of others. So maybe we may not always like the choices others make, even though they may affect us greatly.

I guess I'll exercise today, but maybe no running like I usually do and just walk. Maybe I can just relax on weekends and my job should be enough exercise.

 

[anart]

This is kind of "funny"/symbolic because today my grandma came over. She was really upset with my current condition and expressed a lot of emotion over it. I was just defensive and rationalized the many questions I was asked. It would seem at least externally considerate to maybe ease up a little bit because I am making such a ripple externally, but I am reminded of not determining the needs of others. So maybe we may not always like the choices others make, even though they may affect us greatly.

I guess I'll exercise today, but maybe no running like I usually do and just walk. Maybe I can just relax on weekends and my job should be enough exercise.

3D Student, considering the reactions from the people in your life, it sounds like it might be best to take their input seriously. Is it possible that you've developed an 'eating disorder' that has manifested through obsessive exercise to the point that your health is now suffering? The only reason I bring up this possibility is the combination of the deep concern of your family and your wholesale dismissal of their concerns (you yourself say you were defensive and rationalized away her questions - that is a very strong sign) - something seems to be amiss, so perhaps it's time to take a strong look at it? If I'm completely mistaken, then I offer my sincere apologies, but from your input thus far, it does seem as if something is significantly out of balance with your body perception and exercise.

 

[3DStudent]

I think you're not mistaken Anart. I guess I don't want to admit that others are right and I want to stay with and identify with the old views and goal I had of losing weight. So I'm still defending my position, but as evidenced by this thread, I am thinking about it and plan on easing up.

I do easily get obsessive over things and can get stuck into the mindset and continue doing them. Stubbornness helps to further this too. But as I said before, I am noticing some negative effects in myself, as well as all the external effects, so I definitely think I can step back some. Thank you for the mirror Anart, it seems accurate.