Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Gertrudes]

Just an update on EE:

A few significant things have happened to me lately. I have posted before that I had this constant strange and deep sensation in my chest that wasn't going away during the Baha. On Laura's advice, I stopped Baha but the sensation came back and persisted leading to a week of almost constant "chest sensation" (and I mean constant, during all my day) and eventually culminating in a severe abdominal pain, an event I described previously in the Swamp. Well, after that I went to see a friend doctor, homeopath and naturopath. An interesting merge of both conventional and alternative medicine. She told me I had something big and very deep trying to get out. Well, deep down I knew it, I had just ignored it for years...

Let me just give a bit of context here, a few years ago (around 13 years I think) I had therapy because of a few traumatic childhood and adolescence events. I loved therapy and after 2 years with a good therapist, I had to put an end to it because I moved city. What happens is that I managed to get myself together and going, but the process of healing was never completed. At the time, I thought it would be fine anyway. Well, I sure fooled myself good and long enough!...
After the mentioned abdominal pain, I had an emotionally exhausting week...memories coming from all over the place, memories I never accepted I had, feelings I had buried about those memories, etc, etc, the strange sensation in my chest getting stronger then ever...and in the middle of all this, I realized that my necessity to keep all these painful issues buried had completely disappeared, like puff, gone! As if that severe abdominal pain I felt had completely realeased it....I was and still am so amazed of how in a blink of an eye, such a massive emotional block is gone!

End of the story, I decided to resume therapy where I had left it. Despite feeling happy (or having illusions that I have been all this time), something has kept me from fully developing for all these years and I hadn't accepted that. There is hardly anything more powerful then the illusion of being happy. I am really glad that I have started this as I never believed I could have opened this unresolved door from my past once again. I feel that I have just started a new page in my life and the future looks much brighter.

Words can't convey how grateful I am for this program. Not even close.
THANK YOU!

 

[Sinapi]

Hi RedFox, thanks for the reply! :)

I also live with others and tend to do a quiet or silent "Ha!" in the warriors breath portion. I think as long as the air comes out its ok. Obviousely the louder it is the more air comes out in one go.

That's good to know. Even though I breathe out quietly, I still try to get as much air out as possible.

Something else actually. If you watch the instruction video again Laura explains that you can't do the round breathing whilst actually saying 'Baa' (you can't breath in and say 'Baa' at the same time). So LAura says it for you, all you have to do is breath in through the nose when she says 'Baa' and out through the mouth when she says 'Haa'.

Woops. That means I've been doing it wrong this whole time! I better double check my facts next time. I'll try to do that part with the audio, since it's difficult for me to think about a word intensely.

Have you been to see a doctor zlyja? Something like that sounds pretty serious.
I doubt that the E-E breathing program would cause that to happen (your the first to mention it anyway), however I did have something very similar happen to me years ago. I was at colledge and had pulled an all night-er finishing my final project, went to use the toilet only to have the exact same thing happen you described....except I passed out and hit the floor.
I did see a doctor and he checked me over (specifically heart rate/blood pressure etc) and in the end it was put down to exhaustion (so its possible it mundane in that respect). But you should go to rule out any serious underlying health problems.

If you are sleeping little then I suppose the E-E program _may_ exaggerate an all ready exhausted state.....but this is just supposition. Please go and see a doctor and let us know what they find out.

Geez, I hope you weren't in pain! I haven't seen a doctor lately; I'm a bit hesitant to do so because I don't have a lot of time and I don't want to freak out my family. I also don't want to pay for any prescriptions, either! But thankfully I haven't had that problem since. I did feel like I was going to pass out though, which is why I had to sit down. I actually get a lot of sleep, about nine hours a night! I do get stressed out easily, and I was in a rush at the time, so maybe that had something to do with it.

I hope that after a few more months of the breathing program I'll be able to get these issues straightened out. Then again, there are probably many other factors that I'm failing to address ... but that's why I need to keep learning. :)

 

[Lucius]

Hi

I have stop doing EE program 1 month now ( new skill and work I'm 24 hour with other people... )

But from new month I will make it better:) and come back.

Greeting.
Lucas

 

[cubbex]

I just have to say that everytime when I do the prayer, I got sleep, and I think 2 times I like there it says, I zoning out. But when i get sleep I wake up doing the prayer, like a sleepwalker jojo

 

[gotogo]

Hello forum members,

It has been a month of absence since I posted last time.
It all started from this EE breathing exercise and meditation if I look back...

By going deeper with meditation, my lessons to learn in this incarnation became clearer .
At one point, I understood what 'merging' means. All what I was studying previously just points to one very core lesson or something, which is relating to understanding of 'assumptions'.

Anyway, to make it short, I decided to move back to Japan and start studying Clinical Psychology in master course at Shimane graduate school from 2011 (if I pass the exam next summer). Many 'synchronicity' has been happening and also re-connecting with old friends in Japan...

Going back to this thread, it seems now I know more when I need them, sometimes many pipe-breathing, sometimes ba-ha and meditation in various combination.
When I get to the calm state, I sit and 'meditate' (a kind of like Zen, Krishnamulti style) for 1-2 hours (even more). It doesn't bring any 'special' states (or I should say I am not expecting them at all!) but one thing is becoming clearer that now I can See! All what is happening in my mind, emotions, sensations... How important it is! That is all. :)

I just sent my application for FOTCM through PM to Laura and will send the actual appreciation to the physical address tomorrow morning.

Sincerely,
Tsuyoshi (GotoGo)
11.29.2009.

 

[knowledge_of_self]

It has been a month of absence since I posted last time.

Hi GotoGo

I was actually thinking of you the other night and how I have not seen you posting and wondered if you were ok. I'm glad to see you posting and glad to hear that your venture into doing EE has been fruitful. That's really cool that you're moving back to Japan! I wish you luck on the move, your studies and all the changes in your life.

Take care :)

 

[shijing]

It has been a month of absence since I posted last time.

Hi GotoGo

I was actually thinking of you the other night and how I have not seen you posting and wondered if you were ok. I'm glad to see you posting and glad to hear that your venture into doing EE has been fruitful. That's really cool that you're moving back to Japan! I wish you luck on the move, your studies and all the changes in your life.

Take care :)

Me too -- I checked your sign-in history last week, just to make sure you were still around and that there was nothing to worry about. I saw you had been checking in, but its good to actually hear back from you about what you are doing. Good luck from me too with the new directions in your life, and it sounds like you are making a lot of progress!

 

[Ollie]

I too, had been wondering what had happened to you, with a lack of posting. Good luck in your new venture, and in the progress you appear to have made.

 

[ana]

It has been a month of absence since I posted last time.

Hi GotoGo

I was actually thinking of you the other night and how I have not seen you posting and wondered if you were ok. I'm glad to see you posting and glad to hear that your venture into doing EE has been fruitful. That's really cool that you're moving back to Japan! I wish you luck on the move, your studies and all the changes in your life.

Take care :)

Me too -- I checked your sign-in history last week, just to make sure you were still around and that there was nothing to worry about. I saw you had been checking in, but its good to actually hear back from you about what you are doing. Good luck from me too with the new directions in your life, and it sounds like you are making a lot of progress!

Same here, Nice to hear from you GotoGo :)

 

[vinny]

glad to see you back, GotoGo.

Studying clinical psychology will certainly be interesting, especially given the extra perspective of the information on this forum. It would be interesting to hear the 'spin' that is currently being given on important subjects such as psychopathy which, according to Cleckley and others, has been deliberately obfuscated within academia.

 

[Cyre2067]

Just wanted to give an update as I haven't really posted in this thread for awhile now. Apologies for the length...

An experience that seems to be recurring is a purging of sorts during the three-stage breathing. I'll try to be as descriptive as possible. Basically what happens is ill get into the first or second stage and as I'm doing the out-breath it feels as if something is coming up and out and being expelled. It's similar to vomiting, only much more relaxed and the only thing being passed is air. I also had a bought of twitching, and some muscle tension following the first round of these purges that was particularly intense. This has happened probably 3x in the last few weeks, with the first being very noteworthy and the others since more mild. It doesn't happen every time, however it does seem to be recurring up to this point.

The thought I had with it was a sort of auto-spirit release because it did feel so strange, as if I was kicking something out that had taken up residence and didn't really want to leave. The last time it happened I actually got up off the bed (I usually sit on the edge and look in my mirror) and felt a bizarre surge coming from my lower abdomen up my chest, and out and down my right arm. Instinctively I put my hand on the mirror and sent whatever it was through it and out. In retrospect that may not have been the best idea, but it seemed 'right' at the time.

Other then that, I've had one extremely vivid dream where I realized I was dreaming. It almost felt like I was in some sort of parallel reality. It's happened once or twice before I started EE, they have a distinctly different flavor from my normal dreams, since everything seems to be normal except for something minor, something out of place, or different that leads me to 'wake up' in the dream. When I look around, interact with objects and people, its completely identical to waking reality. This last one had the added intrigue of me choosing to wake up by just closing my eyes with the intent of 'going home'. It was quite the odd sensation, one moment I was standing at my old job, with my eyes closed and the next I was in bed completely aware of what had just transpired.

I've had one more 'past life' recall. It happened during the meditation portion, at the time (this was about a month ago) I was dealing with some heavy emotions connected to a recent breakup, and I 'saw' us in a previous, concurrent, or alternate reality as two different people. We were in the military, a branch similar to the marines, and we had an ongoing secret relationship (since the whole gay in the military thing was not cool). At one point I, or the guy I perceived myself to be, wanted to break it off because he felt that his companion (my Ex) was treating him poor socially, and in general like an object to be used for physical gratification and nothing more. And 'I' wasn't cool with it, so I wanted to end it completely. Well, 'he' didn't like that, attempted to engage me sexually in the shower, late, while we were both alone, and it ended in a pretty serious fight with both of us being black-blued-bloodied and bruised. It then fast-forwarded to the aftermath which was us being interrogated by a superior officer, asking us what the deal was. 'I' told him that I had a problem with the other guy, we didn't get a long and ask to be transferred to another unit (which was uncommon, and quite a lot to deal with - or so it felt). The officer asked me if i was sure, I said yes, my companion agreed that we had irresolvable differences and would better function apart - and so that's what happened. The last thing I remember was crying in my bunk, only to 'wake back up' crying and feeling the same emotions that I had felt in the alternate reality scenario.

This stuff is totally weird.

 

[gotogo]

Thank you guys. I received your warm heart. :)

Studying clinical psychology will certainly be interesting, especially given the extra perspective of the information on this forum. It would be interesting to hear the 'spin' that is currently being given on important subjects such as psychopathy which, according to Cleckley and others, has been deliberately obfuscated within academia.

Yes, this new direction is given by this forum. I can never be too thankful for that.

 

[StrangeCaptain]

I have stop doing EE program 1 month now ( new skill and work I'm 24 hour with other people... )

But from new month I will make it better:) and come back.

I also took a break. I moved recently, and for a month before that, I stayed in the flat of a friend. It was a very small apartment, and as i have had some intense reactions to the prayer of the soul, I didn't want to disturb my friend nor do the meditation with an underlying current of repressing its effects on me. My intense reactions started back up almost immediately on recommencing the breathing.

[quote author=puck]

An experience that seems to be recurring is a purging of sorts during the three-stage breathing. I'll try to be as descriptive as possible. Basically what happens is ill get into the first or second stage and as I'm doing the out-breath it feels as if something is coming up and out and being expelled. It's similar to vomiting, only much more relaxed and the only thing being passed is air. I also had a bought of twitching, and some muscle tension following the first round of these purges that was particularly intense. This has happened probably 3x in the last few weeks, with the first being very noteworthy and the others since more mild. It doesn't happen every time, however it does seem to be recurring up to this point.

[/quote]

These are the kinds of intense reactions I was speaking about above. I have had these physical twitches pretty seriously. They are so weird and so pronounced that sometimes I find myself asking, "Am I doing this on purpose? Like is this some kind of melodramatic reaction that I think should happen so it is happening?" So when this happens I try to relax and breathe and not anticipate these reactions... And yet they continue...

Also the dreams... Before my break, I had some of those strange "past-life" dreams during the meditation. Now after the break, I have been having some of those intensely violent dreams that others have described and also dreams of emitting foul things from my body or having disturbing wounds on my body. They are all pretty disturbing, but in my mind, certainly fit the description of "emotional detox." I am frankly relieved that i am seeing descriptions of similar experiences here.

Another strange thing is how "split in half" I feel now since starting the meditation. I still have a lot of internal reactions like my machine has always had towards life, but I have this strange sensation of calm in my belly. It is almost like I can sit in my belly and watch the emotional thinking in my head. It gives me a little space to not act out on this emotional thinking. I am NOT saying that I yet have clear and proper thinking to replace it with, but not feeling a slave to acting out on my emotional imbalances is a rather large gift in itself.

Great! I just admitted on a public forum about having a split personality ;) Seriously though... I am grateful to have learned of these tools, and furthermore, have a venue for describing my experiences and reading the experiences of others.

 

[RedFox]

Good to see you around again GotoGo and Lucas :)

Well, two things to report.
Firstly in last nights session I had an expansion for a moment on zoning out. I haven't zoned out for some time, but did so a few times in the POTS section last night (extremely deeply). But for one of those moment I was fully conscious again....if in a slightly altered state.
Zoning out has a particular sensation to it, it seems. Sort of like moving (perhaps just moving your perspective)? I was aware of moving, and then aware of seeing very intense points of blue light (it reminded me of pictures of blue giants [stars] I'd seen on NASA's website before)....they had a tangible intensity and the clarity of what I was seeing was crystal clear (for reference my 'visions' are usually fuzzy/unclear). The blue lights seemed to form the shape of a head.....

Unfortunately my ego kicked in at this point with "these are the lights we're meant to see! I'm 'doing' it" and snapped me back to reality.
Doh....

So this seems like something I need to practice.....which brings me onto the next thing to report.
For the last few weeks I've been becoming more and more aware of how I invest myself into things. How I attach weight to personal belongings, the weight exists internally and is emotional based it seems (usurping of the emotional centre). How I obsessively protect this 'belongings' through this emotional weight.
And how I attach weight to thoughts (again they have an emotional content behind them).....how I fixate and obsess over these thoughts. They can range from just staring into space, or imagining in detail some (unrealistic) future scenario in which something bad happens (generating negative emotional energy).
And how I attach weight to negative emotions (i.e. someone says something I take personally).....or perhaps I attach the same thought process above to the negative emotions? Either way they are given weight...and importance...and become overblown and out of proportion.

I knew I did these things....but boy is it becoming crystal clear to me that I do all of the above, all the time!!! I mean seriously....every second of every day.....day in day out.

All of these behaviours have one outcome....that is the wasting/draining of my time and energy. No wonder I overreact to people who are draining sometimes. I'm too busy draining myself to have anyone else do it too!

Its been a pretty weird revelation mind......I'm not sure if I've created buffers around it either.....because the clearer I see it, the more I seem to be internally distancing myself from that part of me. Is that a buffer?
Whenever I catch myself in the above modes, I stop and say 'Do I really want to give energy to this?'....and I refocus myself. As a consequence I've had a lot more energy, and apparently a greater capacity to actually DO things (i.e. try and get my life back on track a bit more).

I did come to the conclusion that perhaps I should try and silence the part of me that runs that mode of thinking....but then I remembered that we should observe first then attempt to alter it. So am a little confused at the apparent effortlessness involved in stopping these modes of thought......am I actually changing or am I just deluding myself??

From an energy and health perspective I've never felt so good. I'm revising for some exams I want to take, and I can actually read the material and have it stick in memory with little effort! I've never been able to do that until now.
A lot of things in my life seem to becoming effortless....which has really thrown me. Actually its quite worrying/scary (explains a dream I had)....is this normal?? Yet the worrying seems to be a self draining process.....I could really use some clarity here.

Apologies for the long post....this is where I am at the moment. Any feedback welcome (especially if I seem to be headed off in the wrong direction on my thinking/observations).

 

[Nienna]

Last night while doing the POTS part of the whole meditation, I saw an image of a huge person with one eye in the center of her head. Yes, for some reason I knew it was a female. It reminded me of the rock drawing on an entity with one eye in the center of the head. Then, instantly I saw what I can only describe as a huminoid with it's brain laid bare. That's all I coudl see of it's head. And there were others their probing and poking it. Ew!

fwiw