Dream about toxic workplace and boyfriend

[Princess Lux 🌷]

I have two similar dreams that I need help interpreting. For the last two weeks and yesterday, I kept on dreaming about my old workplace and my ex boyfriend. Whenever I dream of my workplace, in my mind, I'd ask "what? I went back?". With my ex boyfriend, I also have the same question like why did I choose to get back with him? Both dreams happened thrice now. The common denominator of those dreams in my case were the feeling of a person being toxic through manipulation and control and the feeling that I have to adjust and even create a different person or version of me to just cope daily with them. In my workplace, I get anxious of my supervisor because we all need to adjust to his mood and we'd tiptoe around him sometimes because we don't know what could or not offend him today, the same with my ex boyfriend where he has lots of insecurities to the extent that he' even be jealous of my achievements. I do not know if this has something to do with my current situation or a warning? or something I have to work on? I also dont know what details I should disclose that might help with interpreting. TYIA for your insights and help.

 

[Ben]

I don't know about the dream, but maybe starting with how you feel about this in your waking life is a good start. Do you think about this often and how do you feel when you do? When you are talking about your supervisor is this in the dream or real life?

 

[Miracle]

I'd agree with Ben and explore how those dreams made you feel. From what you have shared, it sounds like what I would call, "a subconscious passing" or "latent integration" that is I believe that sometimes lessons take a long time for the subconscious to integrate emotionally. I know I've had dreams of a similar flavor and woken up feeling a touch lighter and sometimes with a smile on my face knowing that whatever toxic/parasitic situation I was previously in had finally come to resolution deep down. I almost always find it easier to logically see and maneuver my way out a bad situation than to deal with the emotional consequence in the moment and often emotional understanding/balance comes much later.

For example, not so long ago I had a bad drama with my roommate. He lied to force me out of the lease, I discovered the lie almost immediately, I confronted him about it, and then he blamed me for being difficult to talk to. I saw his gaslighting for what it was in real time, reacted calmly knowing he had no interest in resolving the situation amicably, and moved out the next day (logical resolution). A few weeks later, in a dream I argued quite angerly with him and a few 'friends' who defended him. I woke up feeling like the anger I harbored over the situation had finally passed (emotional resolution).

 

[Princess Lux 🌷]

I don't know about the dream, but maybe starting with how you feel about this in your waking life is a good start. Do you think about this often and how do you feel when you do? When you are talking about your supervisor is this in the dream or real life?

Well, I havent seen these guys. I left that job a few years ago, 2018, and my ex 2017. I also thought of why I have those dreams because i havent talked about them or thought of the workplace. When I wake up, yesterday, from the dream I had with my ex, I just thought it was odd that it happened again and also with that workplace, so it means something.

For example, not so long ago I had a bad drama with my roommate. He lied to force me out of the lease, I discovered the lie almost immediately, I confronted him about it, and then he blamed me for being difficult to talk to. I saw his gaslighting for what it was in real time, reacted calmly knowing he had no interest in resolving the situation amicably, and moved out the next day (logical resolution). A few weeks later, in a dream I argued quite angerly with him and a few 'friends' who defended him. I woke up feeling like the anger I harbored over the situation had finally passed (emotional resolution).

Honestly, this thought came to my mind. I was thinking that maybe I have emotions deep down that have pent up that I should let go and it seems that the universe is making a way to let those out through the dream because there isn't a similar situation in my waking life. Hehe. I do not know if this is connected but there is a lot of mirroring from people in my end right now. I am trying to reconcile the mature things and the equivalent immaturity I have before. Hmmm. Im still meditating on this. :)

 

[Alix]

I'd agree with Ben and explore how those dreams made you feel. From what you have shared, it sounds like what I would call, "a subconscious passing" or "latent integration" that is I believe that sometimes lessons take a long time for the subconscious to integrate emotionally. I know I've had dreams of a similar flavor and woken up feeling a touch lighter and sometimes with a smile on my face knowing that whatever toxic/parasitic situation I was previously in had finally come to resolution deep down. I almost always find it easier to logically see and maneuver my way out a bad situation than to deal with the emotional consequence in the moment and often emotional understanding/balance comes much later.

For example, not so long ago I had a bad drama with my roommate. He lied to force me out of the lease, I discovered the lie almost immediately, I confronted him about it, and then he blamed me for being difficult to talk to. I saw his gaslighting for what it was in real time, reacted calmly knowing he had no interest in resolving the situation amicably, and moved out the next day (logical resolution). A few weeks later, in a dream I argued quite angerly with him and a few 'friends' who defended him. I woke up feeling like the anger I harbored over the situation had finally passed (emotional resolution).

Yes, I agree. Lately I've had several dreams relating to bad situations at work and in some relationships in my past. I couldn't figure out why I was having dreams about things that I felt I had put behind me. As I looked at them, I saw (thanks to many of the things I've learned from the forum and from the writings of Laura and the C's) that I hadn't really let go of the frustration and anger I felt regarding these people. I need to focus on drilling down and using the EEs to slowly let these feelings come to the fore so I can accept that I haven't released my emotions about all of it and learn to let go.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

that I hadn't really let go of the frustration and anger I felt regarding these people.

It is a kind of reminder that there are still things to learn. In your current situation, there is a glimpse of your past experience. You just have to contemplate more deeply what your emotions are telling you even if you believe that nothing relates to your present moment. You carry it with you wherever you go.

I think it is appropriate to share a little of my similar experience:

A year ago I was fighting with a friend (girl) very bad was the situation. When she came back a year later, I doubted very much if she was really doing it honestly, that she had become aware of herself. So I had a dream where I was talking to a more self-aware part of her and we were walking down a street until she showed me in the distance in a crumbling house the part of her that I knew, a more lost, more childish, weaker part of her. It was like "you must accept both parts of her". When I did... I let go of the ego, the resentment, the resentment and moved on to forgiveness, the change was radically positive for both of us.

The surprise, we gained more awareness as I perceived it in my dreams. But the important lesson was the integration of it all, the emotional resolution, for both of us, as Miracle says.

Today, we have a relationship where we are each doing our work on ourselves to have a healthy relationship, both with ourselves and with others. I have found that in his own way, she has been doing "the work". My ego demanded forgiveness, but there was nothing to really "forgive". It was to understand the learning process of each person because that is how I am also perceived by those who, in my ignorance, I have caused them some harm.

 

[Princess Lux 🌷]

Thank you all for your insights. I will see and wait for things. I admit that I hated my ex so much years ago but not now. I no longer hate him or feel bitter about the situation I was in before. I have cried countless of times from it. From my supervisor, I remember when I was still working there, I have also learned a lot from that situation. Just odd that I have already worked for two companies after that workplace so why that? I am currently living in a different place so I no longer see them and don't know where they are now. I can try breathwork. I have tried going back to those memories and I have accepted those situations no matter how terrible they were for me at that time. Hmmm. In my dream, I remember I wasn't talking to them. I was busy contemplating what happened that I chose to go back to my workplace and with the guy.

 

[NewEngland Seeker]

Whenever I have an emotionally intense dream I'll search for 3 answers.
1. What in me am I doing that illicit this emotional reaction in others.
2. Who, what, when, where; is currently symbolic actors of the story-line of the dream.
3. What was the reason that I needed to experience this in order to learn what I should do or not do.

I have noticed of late that my dreams are all about me. Every actor in my dream is a version of myself. That realization has been a 180 affect on my dreaming.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I remember when I was still working there, I have also learned a lot from that situation. Just odd that I have already worked for two companies after that workplace so why that? I am currently living in a different place so I no longer see them and don't know where they are now.

Sometimes we believe we have overcome a situation by being "distant" in terms of distance of residence, by not frequenting them. It is a moment of "walking away to be able to see the work as a spectator" but not that the underlying lesson has been learned.

The ego confronts us again and again, bringing back that memory as many times as possible, because there is something we have not seen. Don't just take the first emotion you feel, subject it to brutal questioning. what did you hate?why did you hate it?maybe seeing things from afar is a way to have escaped and the best way to solve the situation, not to be a participant or be the best fit for them?an escapism but what something was telling you internally "I know what would happen if I get involved or allow myself to be myself and express what I really feel?

You were forced to be what you are not or at least a part of you was being tricked when you wanted to be "real". A demand. how much did you give and how much did you want in return? what was the submissive similarity you had with both of them even though they were different relationships?

Everything, it's something to work on. It's not selective.

 

[Princess Lux 🌷]

The ego confronts us again and again, bringing back that memory as many times as possible, because there is something we have not seen. Don't just take the first emotion you feel, subject it to brutal questioning. what did you hate? why did you hate it? maybe seeing things from afar is a way to have escaped and the best way to solve the situation, not to be a participant or be the best fit for them? an escapism but what something was telling you internally "I know what would happen if I get involved or allow myself to be myself and express what I really feel?

You were forced to be what you are not or at least a part of you was being tricked when you wanted to be "real". A demand. how much did you give and how much did you want in return? what was the submissive similarity you had with both of them even though they were different relationships?

This is true. I am a different person now than before. I am also thinking that I could've done this instead of this. I have in a way created some parts of me to be something different from who I think I was at that time so as not to create conflict, and survive or avoid the drama both relationship brings.

What can be something I can do once I identify it?

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

What can be something I can do once I identify it?

Perhaps, you could start by being more true to yourself. And to be true to yourself, discover the programs behind those emotions and actions to know what to do. What do you see when you look into those mirrors? work to overcome them.

 

[Alejo]

Sometimes we believe we have overcome a situation by being "distant" in terms of distance of residence, by not frequenting them. It is a moment of "walking away to be able to see the work as a spectator" but not that the underlying lesson has been learned.

This is probably a good way to look at things,

Sometimes simply not looking at things doesn't mean that they leave, it's similar to the idea that covering ourselves with a blanket, because we're afraid of the dark, means that the dark will disappear.

The way we behave towards life depends greatly, if not almost exclusively, on who we are, on the inside. The outside forces of life are not going to change, it's us that have to change.

So, yes perhaps the repetitive dream with mistakes from the past, is reminding you that you still have not worked successfully on whatever it is you could be working on, and similar tendencies are beginning to show themselves.

 

[Princess Lux 🌷]

I moved out of my hometown 5 years ago because I wanted to go on a different path and to escape in a way the world my parents wanted for me but not what I would want for myself. My motive for that move is to move out of my comfort zone and make new experiences for me, and heal. That move required leaving my current job at that time where my supervisor in the office was the one I shared about. I have already broke up with my ex for more than a year at that time.

In my journey on actively working on my self, one interesting experience I had was when I went for an Ayahuasca retreat. My intention for that 2nd night was to distinguish the things I believe I am between the things I believed that which I am really not. In my trip/journey, lying down in the grass, the entity asked me that my question about who I think I am not and I think I am makes up me; thus, the things I think I am not are still parts of me but they were created to adapt or to survive. I worked on that for awhile since my moving out.

In being true to myself and remaining to be true, I value freedom and hold space for myself. I think these days in my journey, although I have exercised freedom for myself and other people, at times I feel betrayed when I discovered or felt like they are not genuine with me. The expectation that people should be this because I am this is a burden I carried for a time, but there is no freedom there. I am currently practicing and still struggling to fully accepting people and at the same time holding space for me to also not invalidate what I feel.

 

[Ruth]

If I was to guess, the dream was just your subconscious giving you a reminder not to fall into the same trap that was your previous boyfriend or workplace issue. It's a reminder to not disregard awareness or discernment.... otherwise? You'll get the same situation.... on replay... a lot. Which of course, will be a total pain in the butt! So, discernment means figuring out what works, what doesn't work, and practicing at providing better protection for yourself. Write things down and ask yourself questions. Write the answers down... it's good therapy, lol! And it's free too!

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

it's similar to the idea that covering ourselves with a blanket, because we're afraid of the dark, means that the dark will disappear.

I feel betrayed when I discovered or felt like they are not genuine with me.

they were created to adapt or to survive.

Well, there you have the to-do's sneaking through your blanket as you possibly lay down in another bed/grass/comfort zone. They're trying to tell you "don't go to sleep".

To survive what exactly? The ego also struggles to survive and if you don't pay objective attention, it could survive the pending lesson.

When you learn to truly accept yourself, you will understand that you don't have to "fight" to accept others. You will intrinsically respect the lesson exemption they are through life, in your life.

Among those things you believe you should not "invalidate" yourself, which ones do you think are part of your self-deception? could you question them without the feeling generated by the "expectation" getting in the way?