Daughter travelling to Europe

Fluffy

Fluffy

Jedi Master
In April 2015 my 15 year old is going on a school trip for 3 weeks to France, Belgium and Spain. I'm trying to understand how I really feel about this with all the events in the world heating up.
Firstly and mostly, I want to stop her. Then something in me conflicts this idea and draws me out of my subjective thinking about 'my daughter' like she is more important of a person than 'your daughter' and I sink back and realise that it doesn't matter whose daughter it is, the point is should anyone be considering an overseas trip at this point in time?

A very staunch and attitudy 15 year old lives at my house, telling her she can't go would be a nightmare, explaining to her my concerns is met with 'we're all gonna die at some point' .

Me, personally, has no interest in exploring the world, flying to me is absolutely unnatural and I would rather look at pictures than spend 20 hours on a plane for the real deal- but that's me. My daughter is the type of person who thrives from experiences like this holiday opportunity. It will be great for her personal development. That is of course all planes make it to their destination and no staged terror attacks occur.

I don't want to sound detached here but I'm tight in the idea that we all have our own paths to follow and one must not interfere in the free will of others... So I'm leaning towards praying for the best outcome and letting destiny take it's course.

Any thoughts?
 
Statistically, air travel is the safest way to get somewhere. If you think about how many planes take off and land all over the world every day, very few actually have accidents.

I think you will have to bite your tongue about your fears and let her enjoy the trip. She will gain experiences and knowledge and if its with her school mates, she will likely be just fine. The only warning you may want to give is to stay with the group and don't go anywhere alone. And of course, to stay aware of her surroundings and heed her natural instincts. If you feel fear, don't ignore it and play nice - move away from the source, yelling and screaming if necessary. ;)
 
Fluffy said:
I don't want to sound detached here but I'm tight in the idea that we all have our own paths to follow and one must not interfere in the free will of others... So I'm leaning towards praying for the best outcome and letting destiny take it's course.

Any thoughts?
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I feel that this will be the best tactic. However, I do really like travel so I'm certainly biased.

My mother tried to put the kibosh on one of my trips once and I was well into my thirties at the time. :rolleyes: I was all excited and she was being a real downer. So, if your daughter is going to go, accept it and be happy for her and make sure she has the tools to help keep her safe. It's okay to let her know that, as a mother, you worry about her safety but it would be more externally considerate to not ruin her good time with excessive demonstrations of your fear.
 
As it seems you are on the side of letting her go on the trip already, best thing to do would be to get as much information as possible on what/where the group will be staying and doing while abroad. This should give more peace of mind and security than the dread of the unknown.

Maybe speaking non intrusively about the dangers of traveling abroad to your daughter could also give yourself and her the best security. Knowing you have done your best, without breaching free will.
Being at the age of 22, still living at home, i still have recent memory of not understanding my parents protectiveness - seeing it as mere control. Thus causing separation and flaring an act of rebellion against my parents.
This seems to be natural within the teenagers of our world, but also natural for parents to worry. A good practice might be to place yourself in your teenage years, seeing how you viewed your parents - and why.

Hopefully some parents can relate a little more and provide you with more information as it is probably a common predicament.
 
My 15 year old daughter went to Europe last year taking in France (Euro-Disney and Parc-Asterix) also Spain and everything was just fine. She had a great time and returned home safely with a story or two to tell.

I understand the concerns as I felt similarly but I remember going on a similar trip when I was that age and you're correct in surmising that it would be bad mojo to say no!
 
It is normal to feel a little nervous because what happened in France. I understand you. It is normal! but she will be with a group and well protected by the group. Till April many things can happen to Europe but maybe not. I think it is very important that she stick with the group, and keep her passport and ID under her belly, not in the purse but hidden. There are some clothes with internal pockets and also travel pouches that you can put under your trousers or skirts. This is primordial. And also have a purse that she can put on her shoulders.

To travel when you have 15 is marvelous! I wish her a very beautiful trip.
 
It think it would be really abnormal to not feel deeply concerned that my first born is travelling to a place where fake terror attacks have just happened and the world is on high alert.
I appreciate the comfort I get from the responses here. There isn't a better feeling than to know you have people on your team.
My daughter is reading the posts so it's comforting for her too. Thank you :)
 
Lilou said:
If you feel fear, don't ignore it and play nice - move away from the source, yelling and screaming if necessary. ;)
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Hahaha, Lilou your right on the money, that's exactly what she'd do ;D
 
Fluffy said:
Lilou said:
If you feel fear, don't ignore it and play nice - move away from the source, yelling and screaming if necessary. ;)
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Hahaha, Lilou your right on the money, that's exactly what she'd do ;D
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Good to hear! I hope she enjoys her time and nothing that dramatic actually happens. I tend to be too over protective of my kids too, so I can certainly understand your apprehension. My oldest took a school trip to Yellowstone National Park, I hid my fear, but the thought of bears, rushing waters, and volcanic eruptions, did make me a bit jittery. In the end, it was my boy and his friend that saved the adult guide from drowning and carried her to safety with her sprained ankle. :cool2: And they were the only ones who actually spotted a grizzly bear.
 
Remembering. Parents want acknowledgement of their state of mind from child, child thinks the efford of imagening how exactly parent is feeling, while on holiday, will be that big, that it would ruin the fun of that holiday. From there comes the undermining impression. Control you haven' t, so trying to control only speaks against your realism.
Going to an amusement park is very dangerous: At i think 12 years old i went alone, one hour double trainride, checking into the park, calling my parents and losing my money and all in the phoneboot..
 
I think it will be a valuable learning experience for your daughter Fluffy, especially if it is first time she has done something like this without you being there by her side :). I think all that YOU can do is to respect her free will and her lesson plan, and try to prepare your daughter for the challenges she might face in the best way that YOU can.

Whenever I would venture out to an unknown place or travel to a different country, my parents would worry and would sometimes stress - thats what parents do :lol:! it is only natural! But I am truly thankful that they trusted me and supported my decisions, because I have learnt some hard lessons because of that. I think that if we feel pressured as children and perceive there to be too many limits set on us, it can result in a feeling of resentment towards the parents which can manifest in rebellious behaviours. If she knows that you trust her and that you support her, she is probably more likely to listen your advice and be cooperative :)

With regards to terror attacks and flights - these occurrences are very uncommon, and the likelihood of it happening is LOW! I would try not too worry TOO much about those things. ;)
 
Keyhole said:
I think that if we feel pressured as children and perceive there to be too many limits set on us, it can result in a feeling of resentment towards the parents which can manifest in rebellious behaviours. If she knows that you trust her and that you support her, she is probably more likely to listen your advice and be cooperative :)
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Oh touché! I've been there, that's why it's important to break the mould and not parent my kids like I was parented. I try to give as much rope possible and only really say no when there is danger, that's why this is a tough one, keeping your kid safe while they're in another country is almost impossible so the best I can do is educate her on how to keep herself safe.
 
There is this book with a lot of tips for women that travel. It is a very inspiring book.

Gutsy Women, travel tips and wisdom for the road by Marybeth Bond.

Chapters like these ones are very accurate:

- safety and security

- budged and money matters

- staying in touch

- dining on the road

- packing

- etc

http://www.amazon.com/Gutsy-Women-Travel-Wisdom-Travelers/dp/1885211155/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1421398242&sr=8-3&keywords=gutsy+women+by+marybeth+bond
 
Maybe I'm being overprotective myself here, but just to be sure you could have a talk with your daughter about the effects of alcohol on the brain and these brain chemicals that flare up (raging hormones), when you have all these teenagers together for a longer period of time.

I went abroad a couple of times during summer holidays with a group and I remember my friend really going overboard, drinking lots of alcohol. It scared me. Our group was pretty sensible, still people did have sex, when supervisors were asleep. :)
I was also a youth camp counsellor myself and a few kids (especially those kids that were neglected and abused) became very drunk once, during our watch, but also sneaked out during the night. Never found out what happened, but I can guess!
 
Fluffy said:
It think it would be really abnormal to not feel deeply concerned that my first born is travelling to a place where fake terror attacks have just happened and the world is on high alert.
I appreciate the comfort I get from the responses here. There isn't a better feeling than to know you have people on your team.
My daughter is reading the posts so it's comforting for her too. Thank you :)
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Not that it's much comfort, but statistically (as far as statistics go on this topic) going to a place that has just had a "terror attack" is probably the best place to be to avoid another one. Once they carry out such attacks, things calm in the location as the politicos try to make hay with it. So technically, France is a very safe place to be right now vis a vis trrr. attacks.
 
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