13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: by Morin, Amy

NewEngland Seeker

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
This book is a quick read. I found it extremely helpful guide for me during these stressful times. It exposed a few of my hidden mental flaws. I read the out outline below every day so to help keep me weeding out my poor behavior. I hope this is helpful for others.

Morin, Amy. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success Kindle Edition​

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My unpolished outline:____________________________________________________________________________

What is mental health:
  • Thoughts—Identifying irrational thoughts and replacing them with more realistic thoughts.
  • Behaviors—Behaving in a positive manner despite the circumstances.
  • Emotions—Controlling your emotions so your emotions do not control you.
  • By frequently exerting you positive/rational will over negative thoughts/behavior/emotions the more positive/rational your thoughts/behavior/emotions will become.
Signs of mental strength:
  • Do not act like a drill sergeant but more like a friend/parent/companion.
  • Do not ignore emotions but understands emotions.
  • Do not treat the body like a machine but treats it like a loved-3-year-old child.
  • Does not mean your self-reliant or self-sufficient but rather competent enough to ask/accept help.
  • Is not being love and light but rational and realistic.
  • Is not focused on being happy but strives towards full potential.
  • Knows that happiness is what you give to others and contentment is what you give to yourself.
Benefits of Mental Strength:
  • Resilience to Stress
  • Improved Life Satisfaction
  • Enhanced Performance
How to Develop Mental Strength with the 13 things mentally strong people do not do. (the work)

1. They Do not waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Exercise gratitude instead.
  • Signs of a pity party.
    • You think everyone else is better off than you.
    • You believe you are always unlucky.
    • You feel you have too many problems that you cannot handle.
    • You whine about how hard your life is.
    • You have a hard time enjoying life and do fun things.
    • You are more aware of what is wrong than what is good.
    • You feel life is particularly unfair to you.
    • You are rarely grateful for even the good thing of your life.
    • You feel the gods are out to get you.
  • Why you are prone to self-pity.
    • You are a negative person.
    • You are afraid of truly seeing yourself as you really are.
    • You are prone to exaggerate your troubles.
    • It is a way to get attention.
    • You avoid responsibilities.
    • It is a learned behavior from your family/friends.
    • You exaggerate your importance and feel life should be easy for you.
  • Negative effects of self-pity.
    • It is a self-destructive behavior the intensifies the negative effects of problems.
    • It is a waste of time that should be spent on solving problems.
    • It breeds more negative emotions when things go wrong.
    • it increases problems and accidents.
    • Keeps you wound-up in the negative and prevent you from healthier emotions.
    • You will fail to see the joys of life because you are constantly looking down at the darkness.
    • It cast a negative shadow on your relationships.
  • How to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
    • Be realistic about your problems and avoid exaggerations.
    • Stop negative thoughts with realistic ones
    • Seek solutions for your problem and network with others who could be helpful.
    • Take breaks from yourself and your problems by helping others.
    • Express gratitude whenever you sense negativity.
    • Do not feel or express any belief that your life is the worst.
    • Do not exaggerate your problems or indulge in negative thoughts.
    • Do not give up on trying to change your life for the better.
    • Do not avoid getting involved in the needs of others.
    • Do not harbor anger about what you do not have but rather be grateful for what you do have.
2. They Understand their real power and do not abdicate their responsibility to use it.

  • Signs of abdication of personal power
    • Easily offended by any criticism.
    • Easily played by others that provoke you to anger and irrational behavior.
    • You easily change your goals in life because of other people’s advice.
    • Your happiness depends on others.
    • You are easily guilted into doing what other people want.
    • You cannot stand to have other people think ill of you.
    • Spend too much time complaining about thing and people you do not like.
    • Have intense negative feelings whenever you are doing things you have to do.
    • Go to great lengths to avoid uncomfortable and painful feelings.
    • Do not set boundaries and resent others for taking advantage of you.
    • You hold grudges and avoid resolving conflicts.
  • How to gain control of your real power.
    • Evaluate Feedback Honestly
      • What aspect of the critic is true?
      • What aspect of it is false?
      • Why is this person giving me this feedback?
      • Is there any need to change?
  • Recognize your choices.
    • Take back your power makes you stronger.
    • You will become more crystallized by exercising your will.
    • Accepting your personal responsibilities means you are in charge of your future.
    • You will be able to avoid being quilted into other people’s work.
    • You will control your time and energy.
    • Less likely to experience depression, anxiety, anger, and resentment.
  • Use positive and affirmative statements about your plans of action.
  • Maintain healthy boundaries with everyone.
  • Be proactive towards upcoming conflicts.
  • Accept the sacrifices that you need to make to fulfill your choices.
  • Eliminate toxic grudges.
  • Never feel or behave as a victim.
  • Never become angry or blame others that you allow to manipulate your choices.
  • Never let criticisms define you.
3. They do not Shy Away from Change.
  • Signs of change avoidance behavior.
    • Avoid changing bad habit by convincing yourself that it is not that bad.
    • Highly anxious when dealing with change.
    • You will not even try to change a bad situation because of fear.
    • You rarely follow through on changes that you made.
    • You do not adapt to changes that others make.
    • Too lazy to even try to change.
    • Your changes do not last more than a month.
    • You rarely step out of your comfort zone.
    • You have too many excuses for why you cannot change, and you usually blame others.
    • It has been a long time since you have changed for the better.
    • You will not pay the price for positive change because it’s too hard, too expensive, takes too much time, or it cuts into your fun.
  • What is change.
    • Types of Changes.
      • All or nothing.
      • Change of habits.
      • Trying something completely new.
      • Behavior changes.
      • Changes in emotional patterns.
      • Cognitive changes.
  • Five stages of changes.
    • Pre-contemplation. You know you need to change but lack commitment.
    • Contemplation. Making plans to change.
    • Preparation. Start implementing the plans.
    • Action. Activation of the change.
    • Maintenance. Keep the change going.
  • Why we avoid changes.
    • Fear.
    • Self-indulgent in comfort.
    • Grief.
  • Negative consequences of lack of change.
    • Stuck in a rut.
    • Do not learn anything new.
    • Life does not progress.
    • Loose ability to change.
    • Other people will outgrow you.
  • How to learn to accept changes.
    • Analyze the pros & cons of change.
    • Be aware of your emotions to the change.
      • Nervousness
      • Resistance
      • Inadequacy
      • Pessimistic
      • Sad
      • Guilt
  • Confront the negative emotions.
    • Develop a workable plan of action to the change.
    • Monthly goals
    • Commit to the behavior changes to meet those goals
    • Expect obstacles and plan for them.
    • Have accountability measures in place.
    • Chart your progress.
  • Fake it until you make it.
  • Enjoy the strength of the change.
  • Prevent failure.
    • Be sure you are ready for change.
    • Be realistic with your goals.
    • Be sure the emotions and rational thinking are supporting the change.
    • Be prepared for obstacles and go with the flow.
    • Be aware of the value of the change as opposed to not changing.
    • Small changes are more successful then big changes.
    • Be enthusiastic about the challenge of the change.
    • Be proactive not procrastinate.
    • Employ your positive emotions to secure the change.
    • Affirm your ability to change.
    • Be aware of the positive reasons for the change and the negative consequences of not changing.
4. They do not focus on things they cannot control.
  • Signs of a control freak.
    • Spend most of your time trying to keep bad things from happening.
    • Your angry at other people for not controlling everything.
    • You think you are the only one that can fix everything.
    • You believe the outcome is totally depended upon you.
    • You feel you are completely able to control the future.
    • Other people criticize you for being a control freak.
    • You avoid delegating because other people do not do as good of a job as you would do.
    • Even though you cannot do the work you resist letting someone else take over.
    • If it fails, you become an emotional basket case because you feel it is your fault.
    • You rarely ask for help.
    • You criticize others for not being in control.
    • You have difficulty with teamwork because others do not meet your standards.
    • You rarely trust people and you have few meaningful relationships because of it.
  • Why you try to control everything.
    • You have a high level of anxiety.
    • You want to be a hero
    • You have a locus of control; it is your nature.
  • Why you should not waste your energy on things you cannot control.
    • Trying to control it will only increase your anxiety.
    • It is a waste of time that could be used on more productive activities.
    • It damages relationships with resulting loneliness.
    • You will become too judgmental and people will avoid you.
    • You will be too harsh on yourself with ever increasing guilt and unhappiness.
  • How to reduce your need to control everything.
    • Develop a balance and accept that bad things are necessary part of life.
      • You can be a great host of a party, but you cannot control how others act at the party.
      • You can teach your child how to be a good student, but you cannot make your child a good student.
      • You can control how good you work but cannot make others do the same.
      • You can be a great sells person, but you cannot make people buy.
      • You may know what is best, but you cannot make people follow you.
      • You cannot change anybody’s behavior, especially your spouse.
      • Your strong will and positive attitude cannot alter gravity.
      • Taking care of your health does not mean you will not have health problems.
      • You can exercise good behavior, but you cannot prevent bad behavior of others.
  • Identify your fears.
  • Focus only on what you can control.
  • Accept people as they are and complement them on what is good and ignore what is not.
    • Listen to what they say first and avoid saying what you want them to hear unless they ask.
    • Do not keep repeating your opinions, once is enough.
    • Change only your behavior and never expect others to change theirs.
  • Acceptance of others is better than constant harping on their flaws.
  • You gain mental power by notbeing a control freak.
    • You will be happier.
    • You will have better relationships.
    • You will be less stressed and less anxious.
    • You will have better opportunities in life.
    • You will have a better chance for success.
  • Ask for help before you need it.
    • Focus on only the problems you can solve.
    • Be encouraging of others not controlling.
    • Be honest of what you can control and what you cannot.
  • Do not be the hero.
    • Do not take over a project because it is not being done right.
    • Try to do everything because you can do it better/faster without help.
  • Stop trying to figure out how to solve a problem that you cannot control.
  • Never try to change other people.
  • Focus only on what your abilities are to the project and do not get involved in the responsibilities of others.
  • Never take credit for the outcome of a project that others were involved in.
5. They do not try to please everyone.
  • Signs of a people pleaser
    • Feeling responsible for the feelings of others.
    • Feeling uncomfortable if you think someone is mad at you.
    • You are easily played by others.
    • You rarely say no or voice a contrary opinion.
    • You apologize for what you feel is a slight offense.
    • You avoid conflicts at all cost.
    • You have difficulty in telling others that they hurt your feelings.
    • You tend to do what others ask of you even if you would not want to.
    • You change your behavior based on what others think.
    • You constantly trying to impress others.
    • If people are not having fun at a party, you feel responsible.
    • You want praise from others and are hurt if you do not get it.
    • If someone is upset, you try to make them feel better.
    • You never want others to have negative feeling of you.
    • You are overburdened by other people’s needs.
  • Why we try to please others.
    • Fear
    • Programmed behavior
  • Why you should not be a people pleaser.
    • Our assumptions of what others think is always wrong.
    • It is a self-destructive behavior to relationships.
    • We lose sight of your true values.
    • People pleasing is a waste of time and has no great value.
    • People pleasers are easily manipulated and disrespected.
    • Other people’s attitude towards you is not your problem.
    • No one can control other people’s feelings.
    • You will be stronger, and others will respect you if you are your true self.
  • How to avoid being a people pleaser.
    • Be slow to say yes or no.
    • Be self-assured
    • Prioritize you values and do not let others force you to discard your prioritizes.
    • Do not let others emotionally manipulate you.
    • Say no when you do not have time or reason to do what others want you to do.
    • Accept the discomfort of confrontations and conflicts.
    • Be assertive when protecting your values.
    • Do not discount your inner voice or negative feelings when asked to do something.
    • Be slow to alter your schedule to accommodate the whims of others.
    • Do not avoid confrontations that negatively affect your priorities.
    • Do not go along just to get along.
6. They do not fear taking calculated risk.
  • Signs of risk aversion.
    • You have great difficulty in making important discissions.
    • You talk the talk but do not walk the walk.
    • Making discissions causes too much anxiety so you want others to do it for you.
    • You dream of being in charge, but fear keeps you in a rut.
    • You only see the worst-case scenario when make a big discission.
    • You avoid risks in some or all areas of your life; socially, financially, physically.
    • Fear drives your discissions.
    • You have little belief in your or other’s ability.
  • Why we avoid risks.
    • We are too afraid or unwilling to pay the price of success.
    • We make emotional, instead of rational discissions.
    • We do not take time to fully analyze the pros & cons of the risk
  • The problems of risk aversion.
    • Nothing extraordinary will happen.
    • Emotions, instead of reasoning, will dominate your decisions,
    • We are more delusional about who we really are.
    • We become more OCD.
    • We do not understand our abilities to make changes and only expect luck to make changes for us.
    • We become pry to superstition.
    • We are more vulnerable to get-rich-schemes.
    • We become stuck in a rut.
    • We are more likely to accept other people’s decisions rather than make our own.
    • We are easily influenced by media and sale pitches.
  • How to maximize the success of taking risk.
    • Know exactly how much the risk will cost.
    • Know what the realistic benefits are.
    • Know how the change fits into your priorities.
    • Know it there are reasonable alternatives.
    • Understand what the best- & worst-case scenarios are.
    • Would it make a difference if the worst-case scenario happens?
    • Will this change make any difference in five years?
    • Take frequent small risks just to increase your ability to take bigger risks.
    • Knowing that taking risks will make you stronger.
    • Avoid emotional decisions.
    • Be thorough in understanding of the risks.
    • Eliminate irrational thinking that will influence your decision.
    • Take time to fully understand the risk.
7. They do not dwell on the past.
  • Signs of being stuck in the past.
    • You often wish you could redo events in your life to get-it-right.
    • You have major regrets of your past.
    • You often daydream of a different life by changing your past choices.
    • You feel that past was so much better than the present.
    • You frequently replay your memories.
    • You replay your memories with different versions of yourself.
    • You are constantly unhappy about your current life.
    • You feel ashamed of your past actions.
    • You fixate of your past mistakes and worry yourself into a frenzy because of them.
    • You spend too much time on the “should-haves/could-haves” of your life.
  • Why we over dwell on the past.
    • Fear of change.
    • It is an avoidance technique of the present stresses.
  • Negative effects from dwelling on the past.
    • You are ignoring the fullness of the present.
    • You are unprepared for any subtle opportunities for the future.
    • You will have greater difficulty in making decisions.
    • You waste time on pointless navel gazing.
    • You will be prone to depression and loneliness.
    • You will be less likely to see a better future.
    • You are less likely to take good care of your health due to the constant negative thoughts.
  • How to stop the fixation on the past.
    • Limit the time you spend on the past.
    • Spend time with more positive activities to think about.
    • Become more goal orientated to keep from falling into the past bad habits.
    • Know that your past are lessons learned not life to relive.
    • Be objective observer of your past not an emotional indulger.
    • Observe your past from multiple angles.
  • Be at peace with your past since it is the nature of being human.
    • Your present is your life, your past is your lessons, your future is your dream.
    • Recognize the emotional toll that is having a negative affect by focusing on the past.
    • If you love yourself, you will forgive yourself, so the key is to realize the love.
    • Increase positive behaviors to avoid staying stuck in the rut.
    • Seek professional help is your unable to let go of the past.
  • Making peace with your past will make you stronger.
  • Move forward at all cost.
  • If you are grieving, set up a plan with an end date.
  • Always objectively review your past and avoid emotionalizations.
  • Keep making peace with your past by focusing on the love.
  • Do not ignore of glorify the past, by total honest with it.
  • Do not fixate on what you have lost.
  • Do not replay negative events of your past with resulting self-loathing.
8. They do not make the same mistakes over and over.
  • Signs of repeat offenders
    • You usually fail for the same reason when pursuing a goal.
    • You never try new ways to tackle problems.
    • You do not make any resolutions because you never keep them.
    • You never analyze why you never complete your goals.
    • You criticize yourself because of your persistent failures.
    • You do not research new ways to do things.
    • You lack self-discipline.
    • Doing things differently makes you more anxious than just doing the old way.
  • Why we make the same mistakes.
    • We were poorly educated in practical matters.
    • We are stubborn about the way we do things.
    • We are too lazy to take classes to learn new things.
    • We are too proud to ask for help in improving ourselves.
    • We are too afraid to try something differently.
    • We unconsciously sabotage our successes.
  • Negative effects of making the same mistakes.
    • We rarely reach goals or overcome obstacles.
    • We must deal with persistent problems.
    • We never improve our way of thinking about what we can accomplish.
    • We are never patient for dealing with difficult tasks.
    • Our relationships are hampered by their frustrations with our constant failures.
    • We are always blaming others for our failures.
  • Ways to avoid making the same mistakes.
    • Do a in depth study of each mistake.
      • What are the progressive patterns of failure?
      • What are better ways to handle problems?
  • Create action plans for repeat problems.
    • Implement positive behaviors that are more successful.
    • Pay attention to signs of failure.
    • Take full responsibility for your actions.
  • Practice self-discipline.
    • Do something every day that you do not want to do to get use to being uncomfortable with dealing with problems.
    • Be aware that your self-discipline is incredibly positive change.
    • Keep your eye on the prize.
    • Keep restrictions on your most common failures.
    • Create a list of why you want to change to remind yourself when you have to restart your self-discipline program.
  • Learn from mistakes.
    • Mistakes are the best way to learn how to improve yourself.
    • Learning is fun and it makes us happier.
  • How to avoid making the same mistakes.
    • Take full responsibility for each mistake and never blame others.
    • Create a plan to deal with common patterns of failure.
    • Pay attention to signs of impending failure.
    • Increase self-discipline.
    • Do not make excuses for your failures.
    • Avoid impulsive behavior to problems.
    • Avoid situations that you know you cannot succeed.
    • Be confident in your ability to succeed.
9. They do not resent other people successes.
  • Signs of green envy
    • You compare your wealth, appearance, social status with others.
    • You wish you could afford nicer things like others have.
    • You feel inferior when other people talk about some one’s success.
    • You feel you are not being recognized enough.
    • You think other people see you as inferior.
    • You feel that no matter how much better your life becomes other people are still superior to you.
    • You cannot enjoy other people successes.
    • You are uncomfortable around wealthier people.
    • You belittle your successes.
    • You tend to exaggerate your accomplishments.
    • You feel happy at successful people’s misfortunes.
  • Why we are envious.
    • Over exaggeration of a sense of injustice.
    • Over exaggeration of sense of importance.
    • Highly insecure.
    • Lack of well-established values, goals, and beliefs.
    • Unaware at the time, money, self-sacrifice that others made to accomplish their successes.
  • The consequences of envy.
    • Uncomfortable with social gatherings.
    • Having few friends because of your bitter personality.
    • Become angry or resentful with the obstacles to your own path to success.
    • Never content with your life.
    • Angry at the mundane work of life that keeps you from your perceived sense of self-importance.
    • Impatient about fully develop your skills or talents because it is too hard.
    • Will try shortcuts or unethical means to achieve your goals.
    • My through relationships under-the-bus to become successful.
    • My become an obnoxious bore trying to impress people with your achievements.
  • How to reduce/eliminate envy.
    • Focus on changing your own life.
    • Express true happiness of other’s successes.
    • Wright down your values and goals and stick too them.
    • Never compare yourself to others.
    • Recognize the infectious nature of the social stereotype of evil-rich and selfish-successful-people
    • Never belittle your accomplishments.
    • Never think other people’s lives are happier/easier/luckier.
    • Never criticize other people’s things/social statue/wealth.
    • Eliminate all forms of perceived injustice.
    • Find ways to cooperate rather than compete.
  • Be your own person.
    • What are your most difficult accomplishments?
    • How did you reach your goals?
    • What are my talents, tools, skills, friends, wealth and how do I spend my time?
    • Define your own definition of success.
  • Celebrate other’s success with gratitude and joy.
  • Know your true potential and your realistic goals.
10. They do not quite after failures.
  • Signs of failure averse.
    • Too anxious and fearful of failure.
    • You have intense anxiety if you lose at a game.
    • Easily quite a project if it does not go the way you want.
    • You feel unlucky because you are not as successful as you dreamed.
    • Your sense of self-worth is highly depended upon your success.
    • You blame your failures on others or bad luck.
    • You tend to avoid new skills because you detest the learning curve.
  • Why we give up.
    • Fear of ridicule.
    • Heightened sense of self-importance with expectations of instant success.
    • Exaggerated sense of abilities and skills.
    • Programmed behavior from childhood to let others do the dirty work.
    • Unwilling to pay the price of success.
  • Consequence of giving up.
    • You will never achieve anything worthwhile.
    • More you give up the more likely you will never do anything worthwhile.
    • You are less likely to try anything new or strive to learn new things.
    • Low self-esteem.
  • How to avoid the pattern of quickly giving up.
    • Identify the false beliefs that causes your unwillingness to keep trying.
    • Persistence is more important than talent.
    • Grit is more valuable than IQ.
    • Confront your sense of helplessness and keep trying new ways to overcome problems.
    • Lean how failures are the best way to find out how to succeed.
    • Be realistic about your abilities and your goals.
    • Do not blame others of bad luck on your failures.
    • Failure occur because you tried not because your being punished.
    • Do not let failures define your relationships.
    • Never expect instant successes.
    • Never condemn yourself as a failure.
    • Failures are part of the journey towards a better future.
    • Realize that you can emotionally handle failures.
    • Failures or more valuable than easy victories.
    • It is easy to overcome failures with the right mindset.
    • Never let the fear of failure keep you from pursuing your goals.
    • Analyze your failure and change your methods.
    • You become strong with each failure.
11. They do not fear alone time.
  • Signs of fear of solitude.
    • Never spend and time in contemplation.
    • You are bored when there is nothing to do.
    • You keep the TV or radio on for background noise.
    • You cannot stand silence.
    • You fear the being alone will dredge up feelings of loneliness.
    • You do not do social things by yourself.
    • You feel unproductive if you are spending anytime in quiet contemplation.
    • If you must wait for an appointment you fill it with social media.
    • When driving alone you have to have the radio on.
    • You have busied your life, so you never have time for contemplation.
  • Why we do not like solitude.
    • We believe it is a negative behavior to avoid.
    • You hated being punished as a child by time-outs.
    • You believe your self-worth is dependent upon accomplishing.
    • Staying busy keeps you from seeing yourself as you really are.
    • You are anxious when alone.
    • When your alone you become lonely.
  • Negative consequence for lack of alone time.
    • You are not able to get control of your time.
    • You will never learn what are your true values if your too busy to contemplate what is most important to you.
    • You are not able to think of new ways to do things or improve your life.
    • You are less likely to fully understand others because your too busy to really listen to them.
    • You do not have time to design or create.
    • No time to physical and mental regeneration.
  • How to love being alone.
    • Turn off the noise and learn to enjoy silence.
    • Turn off background noise from radios and tv’s.
    • Avoid listening to music on headset/earbuds.
    • While your space is quit, reflect on your current goals.
    • Assess your feelings. If feeling low do deep breathing exercises.
    • Take time to think about your future.
    • Journaling will help strengthen your mental stability.
    • Do social activities alone.
      • It is the best way to learn who you really are.
      • Walking alone is the best way to calm anxiousness.
      • Helps to develop a better sense of gratitude.
    • Meditate.
      • Improves emotional and cognitive well being
      • Improves physical health.
    • Learn mindfulness.
      • Focus on what you are doing and why you are doing it.
      • Pay attention to surroundings.
      • Observe the unusual. That which is unusual is often a sign.
      • Observe minor details.
      • Observe physical posture and vitality during your task.
    • The more you appreciate silence the more you avoid noise.
    • Daily contemplation helps solidify your character.
    • Take long walks in nature.
    • Meditating will enhance your inner experience.
    • Mindfulness will help minimize accidents.
    • Journaling will help understand your life.
    • Keep your environment quit when possible.
    • Eliminate over scheduling and rushing.
    • Avoid multitasking, it often causes mistakes and accidents.
    • Do not value your life on how much work you do.
12. They do not feel the world owes them anything.
  • Signs of being the center of the universe.
    • You think your better than most people.
    • You think you already know enough and do not need to learn anything new.
    • You will blame others for problems/accidents/failures.
    • You believe you will be rich/famous/important.
    • You are a status seeker.
    • You believe you deserve to be happy and others are responsible to make you happy.
    • You feel life is unjust/unfair and you should have more than you have.
    • You rarely listen to what other people say.
    • You believe a little work should result in greater success.
    • You buy expensive things because you deserve them.
    • You a quick to tell others what they should do because you feel you know best.
  • Why we feel we deserve better.
    • Over exaggerated sense of importance
    • You believe it is a right and you are being unjustly denied it.
    • You feel others have too much and they owe you your needs/happiness.
    • You feel you are superior/privileged, and it is the way it should be.
    • You have been overly praised by parents/teachers and now you fully narcissistic.
    • Mainstream media and entertainment have warped your sense of rights.
  • Consequence of selfishness.
    • Lack of responsibility.
    • Unable to work hard for your goals
    • No close relationships.
    • Persistent anger at the world and people.
    • Unable to care for the needs of others.
    • Easily offended and overly demanding.
  • How to get over yourself.
  • Recognize that you have an over developed sense of privilege.
    • Feelings of deserving better.
    • You feel that doing what you are supposed to do is stupid.
    • Mundane jobs are beneath you.
    • You are too important of a normal life.
    • You are going to be extraordinarily successful person.
    • You are special.
    • You never do dirty work.
  • Observe how the mainstream media and entertainment portrays a false reality.
  • Be aware of how the unearned praise from others affect your willingness to work harder.
  • Observe your laziness towards daily tasks.
  • Observe how others react to your advice.
  • Remind yourself that you are never as smart as you think you are.
  • Understand that no one was born to make you happy/rich/famous/important.
  • Understand that others think you should be making them happy/rich/famous/important.
  • Understand that no one sees you the way you see yourself.
  • Accept that life is not “fair” for everyone.
  • Accept that no one is special or unique.
  • By respond positively to disappointments it will make them less painful.
  • No one deserves anything and to feel you do is a trap to unhappiness.
  • Become a giver not a taker.
  • Avoid being the hero in group activities.
  • Focus on your efforts never feel your important.
  • Accept criticisms gracefully and implement the changes willingly.
  • Acknowledge your flaw and weakness as part of being human.
  • Be aware of other people feelings and needs. Help others when you can.
  • Never keep scores.
13. They do not expect immediate results.
  • Signs of impatience.
    • You feel that good thing will be taken from you if you wait.
    • You feel that if you do not take it now, nothing better will come along.
    • You are rarely ever patient with anything.
    • If you do not see immediate results you feel it is a failure.
    • You want things done now, if not now then yesterday.
    • You take shortcuts and overuse your tools.
    • You are irritated by the slowness of others.
    • You quit projects that take too long to complete.
    • You never complete a long-term goal.
    • You do everything fast and sloppy.
    • You are always underestimating the time it takes for projects.
  • Why we are impatient.
    • We have been brainwashed by modern entertainment’s storylines on quick successes.
    • Modern technology engenders immediate results.
    • Modern life is saturated with attention grabbing options.
    • Modern medicine has trained use to expect quick cures.
    • Modern popular success stories are about instant successes.
    • We rarely have to be patient to get our way.
    • We overestimate our abilities to accomplish projects faster than it is possible.
    • We underestimate how long things really take.
  • Consequences of impatience.
    • We experience failures and chaos because of take shortcuts.
    • Too many things break because we do not take time to do it right.
    • We are unprepared for the future because we can only see what we want now.
    • We live a life full of unrealistic expectations and goals that we can never truly accomplish.
    • We are always unhappy and angry because life just does not deliver the goods as expected.
    • We sabotage our goals by not doing things the right way.
  • How to learn patience.
    • Commit to the long-term goals.
    • Do not underestimate projects or goals, it usually takes 5x longer than you think.
    • Avoid putting a time-limit on your projects or goals.
    • Do not glorify the expected results of projects or goals.
    • Understand that sometimes progress is not obvious or beneficial to your current needs.
    • Have faith in good things will result with positive changes, even if you do not immediately benefit from the change.
    • By expressing gratitude for what you have and what you can do you will become more realistic with life.
    • Keep eye on the prize.
    • Learn to enjoy the journey and avoid being anxious about the goal.
    • Develop a plan to pull yourself out of an impatient outburst.
    • Develop positive alternative reactions when feeling impatient.
    • Slow down your life so you are not overspending your vitality.
    • More patients less chaos and accidents.


Conclusion:

Maintaining mental strength.

  • Stay aware of the positive behaviors of mental strength.
  • Keep a short leash on emotions.
  • Objectively observe thoughts and recognize the ones that are self-destructive.
  • Exercise the above 13 behaviors to keep them strong.
 

Persephone

Jedi Master
Recognize your choices.
  • Take back your power makes you stronger.
  • You will become more crystallized by exercising your will.
  • Accepting your personal responsibilities means you are in charge of your future.
  • You will be able to avoid being quilted into other people’s work.
Thank you primeaddict ! I have problems to understand the meaning of the sentence I put in bold (English is not my native language). Someone can help me? Thanks in advance :-)
 
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