I'm sorry if this kind of thread already exists, in which case if someone could post some links pertaining to my thoughts on this, it would be greatly appreciated.
I guess the basics of what I'm thinking about comes to; how to be more efficient in doing the Work, i.e how to actually
do the Work instead of merely thinking about all the concepts.
I've made it about half-way through the Wave series and am concurrently reading ISOTM and I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. For many years I've had the ideas of non-identification, 'consciousness of the observer' and even a primitive understanding of STO in the back of my mind, so it's not that the information is new, it's that the
consistent application (self-remembering) of
ALL of these concepts at the same time seems like a tall order.
For instance, at any given moment, if I've understood all of this correctly, the aim is more or less to be able to:
- Be aware of which of the centers is producing what kind of phenomena
- Be aware of which part of whatever center is producing the phenomena
- Be aware of the cycling of the many I's (programs)
- Not identify with whatever is going on (until one has developed the "Deputy Steward" who then can act in a more conscious manner)
- Act in a conscious manner
- Constantly remember the possible influence of 4d STS and be ready to counteract it
- Keep in mind the STS vs. STO dialectic and strive to polarize your behavior in a way that respects the free will of all involved
At the same time there are things which one should avoid as much as possible, e.g. daydreaming, wishful thinking, internal considering, STS tendencies etc.
Parallel to this of course the everyday comings and goings consume our attention and we get submerged in the mundane, easily forgetting ALL of these things. The day-to-day many times is a struggle in and of itself, independent of the Work.
This is definitely just the crude outline of what we are expected to do if we wish to evolve and I'm by no means complaining, quite the opposite, I'm all up for the challenge since what else is there to strive for in life if not this. I'm looking for advice from people further along on the cycle and maybe someone has some pointers to share.
I find that I can many times throughout the day remember myself and remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing, but in a way I end up
thinking about all these concepts instead of implementing them. I'm thinking "ah, so now the emotional center feels like this, and now I'm moving my arm by combining the thought center with the movement center, and now I'm looking over there and now I slipped into a memory for a whole minute and forgot myself, ah and now the I who wants to eat is here, hello!".
My mind is jumping to analyzing the stuff and trying to figure it out instead of just observing. I'm trying to figure out the causes and effects instead of just observing because I feel I'm 'wasting my time' just observing. There is a pressure to do this quickly, which I know is self-defeating, as it is a lifelong process. A lot of that pressure I know is coming from the current state of affairs in the world and I'm thinking there's
no time to finish the Work in time because we are running out of it as the masses are slipping ever deeper into the totalitarian psychosis day by day.
I guess this is very elementary pondering, but still I would like to know if this is how all of you felt at some point? That it's just so many different things to keep in mind and if there's no possibility of a mental shortcut, so to speak, one can use to skip all the extra mental chatter which - even though pertaining to the Work at hand - doesn't seem to add anything of value. Or maybe this is just the natural progression of my mind struggling with learning how to work with this system..
Thanks for reading! :)
The aim of the work is to purify and develop your ego/lower self so it can integrate with your higher self. When you are awakened your mind (wisdom), emotion (love) and will power (courage) will all work in proper balance. If you managed to cross the line you will not be thinking with your mind instead with solar plexus connecting to your other consciousness. Once you are in this level you are incorruptible by the dark side, you are peaceful, very flexible, trusting life (no defense/fear), deliberate/sure of your action (self respect), etc. Yes the process take a lot of reincarnations.
Most important thing to make your work successful is strong desire and commitment to return to light otherwise all spiritual information in the world isn't going to work if your ego is blocking it (out of your range of perception). Eye for an eye where you can see things/idea only what you wish to see according to your vibration. Don't start work because you want to avoid/fear suffering instead it will only work if you wish for happiness (c mentioned this). Remember you are responsible for your own creation so if you summon a lesson it is because deep down there is a negativity that is calling suffering as signal for you to work on. The first thing you need to learn is be yourself, ask what you want out of life, is that options available for you, and are you willing to pay for the price. Learn to think for yourself as this process of selective and deliberate choice will help you trust life (instead of what other tell you or wanting their approval). This strengthen your inner core and self respect. Don't repress your mental chatter and emotions as they are trying to tell you your real need if you are willing to listen. Remember change your ideas you change your reality, don't wait for the world to change while you are doing the same thing. Readjust to ideas that is working for you. It will also help if you understand the whole process of the work and has the help of someone to work with (difficult to work alone as you can't see what you don't know), so I will explained briefly the process of the work:
The ego in you resists growth, desires to remain immature, and is burdened with unworkable wrong conclusions and destructive defense mechanisms. Without the wrong-solutions and defenses, a part of you believes itself lost and endangered. To let go of that which seems to you the very protection you seek causes the psyche to resist. If you still find yourself in a state which outwardly resembles the fight against change, this is due to discouragement with yourself, with your apparent relapses, for you do not understand why this occurs. In order to help you a little from the outside toward the inner understanding of the overall picture about yourself, let me suggest an important link which will lead to the necessary insight and freedom.
These are the three main inner mechanism: 1 Main image/paradigm which causes the most important unfulfillment in your life. Because of it you go through repeated disappointments. So we have to deal with the various wrong conclusions and solutions which constitute the main image. 2 Repressed needs, and, in connection with them, repressed emotions, positive and negative. 3 Defense mechanism you have developed in order to obtain what seemed to you a protection
Let us review in brief how an image comes into existence. The childhood hurts and frustrations, which every child experiences at least to some degree, cause unhappiness and discontent. The situation that brings this about leads the child to jump to the erroneous conclusion that every similar situation is bound to bring a similar result. Thus, what was once reality now turns into illusion, because no such generalization can be valid. The generalization freezes into a rigid, inflexible mass in the soul substance that should be fluid and dynamic throughout. This image will later act as a preconceived idea. But the image also always contains the supposed remedy for the hurt. Since the image is unreal, so must be the remedy, which therefore never works. This is all the more disappointing because in reality the very opposite happens to what the “remedy” was supposed to accomplish. It goes without saying that the entire process is unconscious, until you have succeeded in making it conscious.
This predicament results in further negative chain reactions. The defense mechanisms become stronger and stronger in every possible respect. The more this is so, the less is it possible to avoid the hurts that you have unconsciously labored so hard to avoid. And, as long as it is unconscious, you have no way of stopping this destructive process, which is entirely opposed to your own best interests. Your wrong solutions are supposed to bring you the fulfillment without having to take a risk of being hurt or humiliated again. Since this cannot happen, your defenses become stronger and fulfillment becomes even less likely. But you go on repressing your needs, your hurts, and your disappointments. The repeated pattern not only proves the image right, but it also proves that your defenses against it do not work. This increases the original hurt of the experience which brought the image into existence. This is all the more confusing, because a part of the image works.
Example:
a male child has had a strict mother, the child experienced an acute lack of affection, warmth, and understanding and was therefore frustrated. In a situation like this, the image will form that women are ungiving, rejecting, and do not give love. Therefore the child feels apprehension and anxiety toward women when he becomes an adult. This may outwardly be denied, but if the emotions are examined, the mistrust will be found. But since the basic need for the opposite sex, and for warmth, love, and affection cannot really be torn out, he will seek a remedy against the image. As I said before, due to the unreal premise that all women are the way the mother was, the remedy must also be false and ineffective.
Let us further assume that this same mother was quite demanding as far as work in school was concerned. She expected a high standard from the child. And when the child was actually successful, she approved of him and was liberal with her praises. Thus, the child could experience some kind of gratification, provided he struggled hard enough to be successful. This situation will add to the image the following conclusion: “Although women do not give the love and comfort my soul really craves for, I may get the next best thing; I may have some importance by being successful in my work.”
Needless to say, such thoughts are not really uttered, even unconsciously. For in the unconscious of the child there is no clear-cut distinction between receiving love and receiving approval. He has only a vague memory that something favorable came forth when he was ambitious, while nothing favorable happened otherwise. When the approval came, the boy was not consciously aware of something lacking. It was rather an inner climate telling him that what he yearned for he could have to some degree if he made efforts in certain directions. The real need for being loved was already repressed by the time the image came into existence. “I have to be successful in order to be loved.” And: “Approval for my professional work is one and the same as being loved.” Due to such an image such a person will actually be very successful. He will be ambitious and will use all his resources to satisfy the image-claims to have success and receive approval. This image-claim will be granted. But the underlying claim, that approval is tantamount to love, cannot be granted, because here lies the wrong conclusion.
The unconscious aim and claim for gaining love through success cannot be granted because approval and love are not the same. By gaining the one, you do not gain the other. If you do gain love and success, it is due to a logically correct attitude toward both. So this is where the image does not work. Therefore the constantly frustrated needs grow and are again and again repressed, because the personality is not willing to face either the longing and the pain of the unfulfillment, or the erroneous image-conclusion. The unfulfilled need for love, warmth, companionship, union, is contained in the unexpressed claim contained in the main image. Here you can clearly see one link between the main image and the repressed needs.
The repressed need for love is, in itself, a healthy and legitimate need. But the need for approval, at the expense of gaining love, is an unhealthy need. If you concentrate on being successful, on impressing others, on receiving admiration you are bound to pursue the very behavior pattern that will push love away from you. What you need most, but what you are unaware of, what originally caused you to produce your main image, you now reject because of the wrong conclusion you have formed. If the man in the example is loved anyway, a little investigation would prove that the loving person does not love him for the traits that are embedded in the image and that bring him success. She will love him because she senses another quality behind and apart from the traits that are meant to make the image work.
Such a person may be aware of his drive for success. But he is unaware of why this is so important, where it stems from, and what the frustration and need behind it really mean. Therefore each time he reaps success without the unexpressed inner claim for love being met, it is not only a new frustration; it is the same hurt from childhood experienced all over again, but it increases his inner insecurity and inferiority. He originally deduced that if he had been more lovable, his mother would have given him more of what he needed. As a child, he could not evaluate that his mother might have been incapable of feeling or demonstrating love. Now he is incapable of deducing that he himself forfeits love, not because he is unworthy of it, but because his defense against being hurt is to be arrogant, rejecting, superior, and fearful. All these are traits which do not inspire love.
Only by unraveling this entire process can the painful inferiority feeling disappear. It is the feeling of being unlovable that the soul resists facing. He fears that what he will find will indeed be that he is unlovable, and so he represses. The struggle preceding this important breakthrough is very hard because the very means that are supposed to get love and acceptance actually do not bring it. Therefore the unconscious belief in one’s own unworthiness increases, which is even more difficult to face. If you go through the pain of making the confusion and the belief in your unworthiness conscious, you will be relieved to find that it is not you who are unlovable, but the various devices you use for your protection. This recognition is of untold value and will give you incredible strength.