Streamlining the Work

MatiaS

Jedi
I'm sorry if this kind of thread already exists, in which case if someone could post some links pertaining to my thoughts on this, it would be greatly appreciated.

I guess the basics of what I'm thinking about comes to; how to be more efficient in doing the Work, i.e how to actually do the Work instead of merely thinking about all the concepts.

I've made it about half-way through the Wave series and am concurrently reading ISOTM and I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. For many years I've had the ideas of non-identification, 'consciousness of the observer' and even a primitive understanding of STO in the back of my mind, so it's not that the information is new, it's that the consistent application (self-remembering) of ALL of these concepts at the same time seems like a tall order.

For instance, at any given moment, if I've understood all of this correctly, the aim is more or less to be able to:
  • Be aware of which of the centers is producing what kind of phenomena
  • Be aware of which part of whatever center is producing the phenomena
  • Be aware of the cycling of the many I's (programs)
  • Not identify with whatever is going on (until one has developed the "Deputy Steward" who then can act in a more conscious manner)
  • Act in a conscious manner
  • Constantly remember the possible influence of 4d STS and be ready to counteract it
  • Keep in mind the STS vs. STO dialectic and strive to polarize your behavior in a way that respects the free will of all involved
At the same time there are things which one should avoid as much as possible, e.g. daydreaming, wishful thinking, internal considering, STS tendencies etc.

Parallel to this of course the everyday comings and goings consume our attention and we get submerged in the mundane, easily forgetting ALL of these things. The day-to-day many times is a struggle in and of itself, independent of the Work.

This is definitely just the crude outline of what we are expected to do if we wish to evolve and I'm by no means complaining, quite the opposite, I'm all up for the challenge since what else is there to strive for in life if not this. I'm looking for advice from people further along on the cycle and maybe someone has some pointers to share.

I find that I can many times throughout the day remember myself and remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing, but in a way I end up thinking about all these concepts instead of implementing them. I'm thinking "ah, so now the emotional center feels like this, and now I'm moving my arm by combining the thought center with the movement center, and now I'm looking over there and now I slipped into a memory for a whole minute and forgot myself, ah and now the I who wants to eat is here, hello!".
My mind is jumping to analyzing the stuff and trying to figure it out instead of just observing. I'm trying to figure out the causes and effects instead of just observing because I feel I'm 'wasting my time' just observing. There is a pressure to do this quickly, which I know is self-defeating, as it is a lifelong process. A lot of that pressure I know is coming from the current state of affairs in the world and I'm thinking there's no time to finish the Work in time because we are running out of it as the masses are slipping ever deeper into the totalitarian psychosis day by day.

I guess this is very elementary pondering, but still I would like to know if this is how all of you felt at some point? That it's just so many different things to keep in mind and if there's no possibility of a mental shortcut, so to speak, one can use to skip all the extra mental chatter which - even though pertaining to the Work at hand - doesn't seem to add anything of value. Or maybe this is just the natural progression of my mind struggling with learning how to work with this system..

Thanks for reading! :)
 
Hi MatiaS.. I don't have any answers about how to be more efficient doing the Work, and I don't know that I'm that far along or anything. Certainly have a long way to go! Though my self-assessment is that I've made alright progress in the last 10 years.. so here are a couple thoughts, how I see things right now.. please take them with a grain of salt! I'd be very interested to hear also from more experienced people.

It sounds to me like you're somewhat overthinking things. Or maybe "overthinking" is the wrong term.. Maybe wanting to jump ahead to more advanced things. Understandable! Your list of things to be able to be constantly doing - good list, but also seems like, as you said, a result of a long process. No need to get caught up in analysing and dwelling on every detail, right away, IMO, because:

Parallel to this of course the everyday comings and goings consume our attention and we get submerged in the mundane, easily forgetting ALL of these things. The day-to-day many times is a struggle in and of itself, independent of the Work.

I think mundane, everyday life is what provides the lesson material which we can use in the Work, and though it can seem like a separate thing, is where we can see the results of our efforts - for example in our relationships or interactions with other people. You can take heart in that! What could be more real?

I did feel similarly to you at some point, yep... Spent years reading and thinking about this stuff, going "yeah! this makes sense to me. this is what I want to do", while continuing to act in detrimental ways, or out of control ways, or just normally but unconsciously.. never able to remember better ways I'd decided to think or act, in the heat of the moment... I chipped away at myself (myselves) here and there.. I kind of stopped reading so much, became more immersed in everyday life. I kept trying to change. Then eventually realised many of those old ways of acting had fallen by the wayside years ago and I was doing it, my old mechanical self was...well, at least somewhat less mechanical now. Of course, I still act unconsciously a lot of the time. I'm not super advanced. But nor am I out of control any more, or regularly acting in ways I later regret.

Sorry for being long-winded and talking about myself too much! More things *I* want to work on..! I don't know if any of this is any use, or if I've gone off track in replying to your post..

Oh, one last thing, I think the importance of fixing your diet (sorry, I've forgotten what you've previously posted about where you're at with diet) cannot be understated! You mentioned "easily forgetting ALL of these things" while dealing with everyday life, for example.. you might be surprised by how much altering your diet, if you haven't already, can help with mental clarity and consistency!
 
The way I have been looking at is your only as strong as your weakest link,
Times like this help you move slightly to a higher rung, once you gain your momentum your able to move higher on your other rungs.

So if you start at the bottom and reach rung 3 before falling, you may start again from 1 and get to rung 4, than maybe 2-6, you may fall and hit bottom again but on the uptick you can go to 1-8.

This is how I'm feeling today and haven't started anything yet, I'm feeling a mental fog but understand the little things start moving the bigger cogs and I'll eventually get back up to speed.

I'm connecting the drain to the new moon which means it's the valley before the climb back up. I hope this made some sort of sense.

Thanks for giving me a platform to shake some of these cobwebs off.

Keep on climbing brother

 
It sounds to me like you're somewhat overthinking things.

That is how it looks to me as well. Essentially, I think hat forcing things in terms of the work doesn't seem to work and can even have the opposite effect. Rather, it seems that things fall into place gradually, slowly and naturally (for most, if not all people) over a long period of time in the work. A lot of trial and error seems to be involved until things sink in naturally through constant knowledge input and applying simple work principles such as "do what it doesn't like" and "external consideration" (among others). In some cases, that process might go faster (naturally) through big enough "shocks", which are an essential part of becoming aware of yourself. For example: every time you apply simple principles such as "do what it doesn't like" or "external consideration" there is a good chance that you regularly receive shocks through the awareness of those principles and how you are not able to live up to the principle.

Also, in most cases, it doesn't really seem to help to obsess over where this or that behavior or thought came from or if it was overwritten from this or that center. There might be advanced people in the work who can benefit from trying to attempt such analysis and be accurate about it, but generally speaking, I think for most people it might be more of a hindrance than anything else, especially at the beginning.

Oh, one last thing, I think the importance of fixing your diet (sorry, I've forgotten what you've previously posted about where you're at with diet) cannot be understated! You mentioned "easily forgetting ALL of these things" while dealing with everyday life, for example.. you might be surprised by how much altering your diet, if you haven't already, can help with mental clarity and consistency!

Indeed, that is a pretty important point that shouldn't be underestimated! Also, I think you might benefit from a regular meditation routine.
 
I find that I can many times throughout the day remember myself and remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing, but in a way I end up thinking about all these concepts instead of implementing them. I'm thinking "ah, so now the emotional center feels like this, and now I'm moving my arm by combining the thought center with the movement center, and now I'm looking over there and now I slipped into a memory for a whole minute and forgot myself, ah and now the I who wants to eat is here, hello!".
My mind is jumping to analyzing the stuff and trying to figure it out instead of just observing. I'm trying to figure out the causes and effects instead of just observing because I feel I'm 'wasting my time' just observing. There is a pressure to do this quickly, which I know is self-defeating, as it is a lifelong process. A lot of that pressure I know is coming from the current state of affairs in the world and I'm thinking there's no time to finish the Work in time because we are running out of it as the masses are slipping ever deeper into the totalitarian psychosis day by day.
As was already said, you have a tendency to overthink these matters. You're not simply observing, but observing yourself while observing AND simultaneously trying to analyze both processes in one go. That's not going to work out.

Observing isn't solely or predominantly a mind thing but requires full attention of all available observational faculties - mind, body, touch, smell, feeling, and so on. Think back to your earliest years when you did almost nothing else than observe what was going on around you without any preconceived concepts or expectations. Just observing isn't that simple anymore when you've grown older because that beginners mind represents a form of innocence we lose with experience.

The object to observe is situational: you in your immediate relation to your specific environment in a historical of 'evolutionary' perspective if possible. So it's as much internal as it is external, as much in the now as it is in past and/or future. It's a balancing act par excellence until it becomes a natural state and second nature.

That's a long way off for almost anybody so don't beat yourself up for lack of progress. Baby steps, remember....? There are no shortcuts.

What you cannot accomplish in this life will be tackled in the next, or in a parallel life. So just stick to the tasks at hand and perform those as best as you can muster without much further ado. It will calm you down a bit, i presume. :cool2:

My two cents.
 
Hi @MatiaS, as others have pointed out, there is a danger to overthink these things. Remember that it is our emotions that connect us to our 'Higher Selves' or to different realities. Hence the work on our emotions is so crucial. The following is meant as an inspiration to maybe start experimenting a bit yourself in order to 'streamline the Work' in that direction.

Our little I's are not 'minds', but are made of emotions. Or rather, they are states where we are 'tuned in' to certain frequencies that carry emotions.

What usually happens is that we don't have control over the 'dial' to tune into a certain frequency or little I. We are not even aware that there is a dial. Instead, we are completely (emotionally) immersed in the current little I, are identified with it, and feel we are it and that this is all there is. The dial gets turned for us, based on external and internal stimuli, and not only can't we help it, we don't even know it.

This is why emotional shocks can be so valuable, because they bring this process into focus. When we are shocked, we begin to feel the 'turning of the dial': we don't like how the shock feels so we experience an incredibly strong pull to turn the dial back to a different little I that feels more comfortable, more dissociated, more ignorant, more 'good-feeling'.

This kind of shock accomplishes two things, if we pay attention to our emotions at the time: 1) We become aware that there is a dial and that there is a force trying to turn it. And 2) we can actually resist that force. Once we managed even once to stay with the 'suffering frequency' instead of automatically tuning into another one, our whole outlook may change: we have become aware of the 'dial', and we have resisted the force trying to turn it in a moment where it was very strong. That can be the beginning of the breaking of the spell.

Remember, we are still talking about emotions. The trick, it seems, is to learn how to consciously 'turn the dial' (or refuse to have it turned) yourself and 'connect' to the different little I's emotionally without blinking.

A good starting point is to use every kind of emotional shock you encounter and not run away from it, but feel it. In the absence of a shock, you can deliberately tune into 'negative emotions', such as thinking about a situation where you felt embarrassed or that you regret, or deliberately going in your mind to a place you would rather run away from, and feel the emotions without running away, without thinking.

Once you mastered these 'crass' cases of 'dial-turning' to some degree, you can explore the more subtle situations. For example, you might be excited about a certain topic or activity and be gung-ho about it. The next hour, day, or week, or month, this excitement is completely gone - a different little I took over that might be excited about something totally different. We usually take it for granted that these things just happen to us, or worse, we are not even aware of them. But just as you can consciously feel the negative emotions during a shock instead of 'tuning out', you can consciously turn the dial to bring certain little I's online.

For example, you might be excited about your job sometimes - there is a little I that is identified with it and loves to learn more about it, 'lives it'. But many times, this little I is offline. So now you need to finish a job project but you are excited about something completely different. What you could try is deliberately bring up the emotion of excitement for your job that you sometimes feel and that you remember emotionally. Let the emotion fill your whole body, and watch how it changes how you feel about the world, what is important to you, and what you think. A different little I has just come online! But there is also something higher in you, beyond the little I's, that can still perceive what's going on, indeed feel it. This is an emotion of a higher order, on a different level than what the little I's are feeling. If you can pull that off, you have gained greater control over your emotional life, but ironically not by directly controlling your emotions, but by allowing yourself to feel them all.

So again: Little I's are made of feelings, they represent how we perceive the world emotionally - what excites us, what we want to do, where our focus is, what we like or don't like, what we are afraid of and so on. They are 'emotional clusters'. Hence we need to feel them, work with them, look at the world through our emotions and become aware of what and how they are telling us, where they present a wrong picture, where they are useful and so on.

Don't overthink it, but be playful and joyful about it. Picture your emotions as a hook-up to an aspect of yourself that might exist somewhere. Try to observe and while you are 'plugged in' to a little I, feel the immersion, but keep that part of you in the back of your mind that is above the mayhem and can observe. When you encounter negative emotions, stay with them (as long as it's safe) and be grateful for the opportunity for growth they provide.

Remember that whatever progress you achieve, everyone wins. If you manage to tune into other frequencies instead of 'being tuned' at random, you anchor that possibility in this reality and make it available, or easier, for others. Creating a new, better world for all begins with working on and with our emotions.
 
It sounds to me like you're somewhat overthinking things
That is how it looks to me as well.
As was already said, you have a tendency to overthink these matters. You're not simply observing, but observing yourself while observing AND simultaneously trying to analyze both processes in one go. That's not going to work out.
Hi @MatiaS, as others have pointed out, there is a danger to overthink these things.
Well yeah, I guess this is nothing unusual. Surely we can make great use of our thinking capabilities but I do notice that what I call "analyzing" might in fact only be imagination. The C's on multiple occasions tell us to think about things, but I guess it's a fine line between thinking with an actual aim of figuring something out and just haphazardly entertaining ideas and concepts..

Oh, one last thing, I think the importance of fixing your diet
This is what is next for me, reintroducing meat and cutting down on grains and sugar.. Having a vegetarian girlfriend who says 'meat is murder' is an inconvenience, but I will find a workaround.

The way I have been looking at is your only as strong as your weakest link,
Times like this help you move slightly to a higher rung, once you gain your momentum your able to move higher on your other rungs.

So if you start at the bottom and reach rung 3 before falling, you may start again from 1 and get to rung 4, than maybe 2-6, you may fall and hit bottom again but on the uptick you can go to 1-8.

This is how I'm feeling today and haven't started anything yet, I'm feeling a mental fog but understand the little things start moving the bigger cogs and I'll eventually get back up to speed.

I'm connecting the drain to the new moon which means it's the valley before the climb back up. I hope this made some sort of sense.

Thanks for giving me a platform to shake some of these cobwebs off.

Keep on climbing brother
I do feel like I keep falling down to the bottom of the ladder. Reading the Wave has been a cold shower in many regards.. But as with cold showers, I do feel better after the initial shock. I feel more sane.

Also, in most cases, it doesn't really seem to help to obsess over where this or that behavior or thought came from or if it was overwritten from this or that center. There might be advanced people in the work who can benefit from trying to attempt such analysis and be accurate about it, but generally speaking, I think for most people it might be more of a hindrance than anything else, especially at the beginning.
This is a weak spot for me. I tend to be the 'all-or-nothing' kind of guy, which does bring good results when I am able to implement it in the proper way, but when I'm in over my head in something it does create a struggle.
That's a long way off for almost anybody so don't beat yourself up for lack of progress. Baby steps, remember....?
Indeed the baby steps are what I need to keep on taking, not jumping too far ahead. I feel my 'line of knowledge' has outgrown the 'line of being' and now I'm trying to find a way to burn away the excess accumulation.

Think back to your earliest years when you did almost nothing else than observe what was going on around you without any preconceived concepts or expectations. Just observing isn't that simple anymore when you've grown older because that beginners mind represents a form of innocence we lose with experience.
I do have memories of early childhood when I was able to see the inter-connectedness of things and just have a certain 'silent understanding' of certain principles. Of course without a logical framework and knowledge basis of a more mature mind, with the addition of programming streaming in from all directions, this capability for seeing quickly faded into the background.

@luc Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have become increasingly aware of the constant change of little I's, but still struggle to truly separate myself into two parts (the observer and the observed). About a month ago I had a clear moment of 'separation' and clearly experienced the observer part as separate, what was weird that on that occasion it seemed to happen completely spontaneously. The feeling only remained for about 5-10 seconds but left a clear impression in me. I've had it happen in the past but never with the intensity and length as in that moment. The last days when I'm trying to self-observe, it's almost as if a group of I's are in rebellion against this, they don't want to be found out for the frauds they are, so I seem to trigger 'self-defense' programs, which are very powerful I's which flood my mind with doubts ("you're doing this wrong", "this is not how you 'self-remember'", "you're just thinking, not observing" etc.) and distractions (quickly sucking my attention towards something totally irrelevant and unnecessary).

I am welcoming this struggle into my inner life, as I've been thinking a lot recently about the fact that my life seems too easy, I must be doing something wrong. I like the video-game analogy of "If you're facing enemies you know you're going the right way". Recently my life's seemed a bit too much honky-dory for my taste so in a way I'm grateful for finally having truly identified the direction I have to go in order to reach the next level.

On a side note; what - if anything - could I provide to this forum in way of networking. I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of what is meant by this. Does it amount to just sharing my experiences and thoughts and helping out if I feel there's something I can provide to the members?
 
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Remember that it is our emotions that connect us to our 'Higher Selves' or to different realities. Hence the work on our emotions is so crucial. The following is meant as an inspiration to maybe start experimenting a bit yourself in order to 'streamline the Work' in that direction.

@luc, I just wanted to say thankyou very much for writing the above post! It's extremely helpful to me, on things I've been only vaguely understanding when I previously read about them.. For whatever reason- the really clear way you worded it, or it was just the right time for it to sink in about feeling the emotions without running away.. I've had glimpses of this before and sort of naturally done it, without really knowing what I was doing, but reading your post today I literally rocked back in my chair and went "wow". I'm going to be re-reading that post many times! I've got a pretty good stock of negative emotions from the past, which I usually run away from, to tune into on purpose :)

Very interesting about purposely bringing up emotions of excitement about a job.. I do this a lot, it's exactly how I do propel myself to finish things I'm working on... hadn't connected it to any of the rest of this though.

Don't overthink it, but be playful and joyful about it. Picture your emotions as a hook-up to an aspect of yourself that might exist somewhere.

I really like this, being playful and joyful with everything seems really important, like a way to touch things lightly and not become twisted and heavy..

So thanks for starting this thread @MatiaS, and sorry to sort of piggy-back my own stuff on it, I hope it at least brings up more stuff that's helpful to you too..
 
On a side note; what - if anything - could I provide to this forum in way of networking. I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of what is meant by this. Does it amount to just sharing my experiences and thoughts and helping out if I feel there's something I can provide to the members?

As an example, this thread you started naturally brought out conversation which provided great help to me, just now :)

Have you read the "Boardlurker?" thread - Boardlurker? Read this!! ? Even if you're not lurking, there's good stuff in there about the concept of networking..
 
I have become increasingly aware of the constant change of little I's, but still struggle to truly separate myself into two parts (the observer and the observed). About a month ago I had a clear moment of 'separation' and clearly experienced the observer part as separate, what was weird that on that occasion it seemed to happen completely spontaneously. The feeling only remained for about 5-10 seconds but left a clear impression in me. I've had it happen in the past but never with the intensity and length as in that moment.

As with everything, it takes time and practice. At the beginning, it is perfectly normal to be unable to separate yourself from the "little I" that is in control. Usually it takes a lot of trail and error, where you might find yourself in situation after situation where you are only able to notice that a "little I" was in control AFTER THE SITUATION has already occurred. After many such instances you learn from it and start to be able to feel/see the "little I" IN THE MOMENT it is in control, but you still can't override its thinking/behavior (it is still stronger than the observer or "Deputy Steward"). Further down the road after many such instances you learn from it and start to be able to feel/see the "little I" IN THE MOMENT IT IS IN CONTROL every now and then and start to be able to CORRECT YOUR THINKING AND BEHAVIOR via the "Deputy Steward", WHILE BEING IN THE SITUATION. Further down the road you notice that the "Deputy Steward" can control increasingly more situations where "a little I" tries to be the chief of the situation.

On a side note; what - if anything - could I provide to this forum in way of networking. I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of what is meant by this. Does it amount to just sharing my experiences and thoughts and helping out if I feel there's something I can provide to the members?

Yes, that's basically it.

I've got a pretty good stock of negative emotions from the past, which I usually run away from, to tune into on purpose :)

You can be lucky to have such tools/experiences/emotions at your disposal since it provides you with perfect opportunities to work on yourself.
 
I join the previous speakers in thinking that life, and especially everyday life, offers you all the lessons you need. @luc thank you for your pictorial representation of the little I's.... it is so true... and there are sooooo many of them :lol: And I think it's important to take one step at a time.

I am also relatively new here and always have the feeling that I want to catch up quickly. There are still many, many books I have to read and certainly many, many lessons to learn. But it's also fun to get into it.
And sometimes it's just very small statements here that make you think and accompany you into everyday life.

This is what is next for me, reintroducing meat and cutting down on grains and sugar.. Having a vegetarian girlfriend who says 'meat is murder' is an inconvenience, but I will find a workaround.
But why I'm actually answering you, I was in the same boat as you, because I was a vegetarian for 6 years (my husband since he was 16) and then I came here. At first it was a shock and I resisted with all my might, but the more I read and the more I thought and, above all, felt, the more I was able to accept it... If you are interested, here is my story about the meat... https://cassiopaea.org/forum/threads/meat-secrets-and-a-desperate-housewife.50013/ In the meantime, I have not only reintroduced meat, but also completely banned gluten and I only eat sugar in chocolate :whistle:
 
Hi @MatiaS ,thank you for telling your situation, i think there are many of us who go through this so i can understand you. Even today there are times when one is immersed in these types of thoughts, so any comments they have given you not only help you, but also many others ( include myself).

Thanks @luc for that explanation. I think you have given a good overview of how things work, in a very well explained way.
Definitely a post to reread at certain times.
 
@MatiaS since I was not completely sure I had the proper meaning of "Streamlining" I tried the Cambridge English Dictionary:
to shape something so that it can move as effectively and quickly as possible through a liquid or gas:
Using "streamlining" in connection with "the Work" is an interesting metaphor. Streamlining can contain the idea of reducing friction to progress, though there is also the "No pain no gain" saying, so to what extent is streamlining the Work realistic? One can streamline a production line, because all the steps are known, but is that the same with the Work? The steps might be known in general, but for each individual? Maybe?
I've made it about half-way through the Wave series and am concurrently reading ISOTM and I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed.
For many of the books you are reading or have read there are thread in the book section. There is also a thread for discussion of the recommended book list including a recent question about how to proceed with the reading.

On a side note; what - if anything - could I provide to this forum in way of networking. I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of what is meant by this. Does it amount to just sharing my experiences and thoughts and helping out if I feel there's something I can provide to the members?
If one takes this thread as an example, you ask a question and others add in their perspective which you think about and respond to. In other situations, you might read other people's questions and respond to them if you feel inclined. What we write may not be the best possible answer, but if we are sincere and have helpful intentions, there may still be something objectively useful. As we practice responding, we learn. Also one can read what other people say to a question. I for one enjoyed reading the other responses you got. Often it can be helpful to complement one's understanding by trying to find threads where similar questions have already been dealt with.

Some threads are easy to enter. Some threads demand more from us as people. Some threads demand more from our knowledge of the topics being discussed.

A very simple and practical manner of supporting the network is by donating money to help keep both the Forum and Sott up and running.

My 2 cents.
 
I'm sorry if this kind of thread already exists, in which case if someone could post some links pertaining to my thoughts on this, it would be greatly appreciated.

I guess the basics of what I'm thinking about comes to; how to be more efficient in doing the Work, i.e how to actually do the Work instead of merely thinking about all the concepts.

I've made it about half-way through the Wave series and am concurrently reading ISOTM and I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. For many years I've had the ideas of non-identification, 'consciousness of the observer' and even a primitive understanding of STO in the back of my mind, so it's not that the information is new, it's that the consistent application (self-remembering) of ALL of these concepts at the same time seems like a tall order.

For instance, at any given moment, if I've understood all of this correctly, the aim is more or less to be able to:
  • Be aware of which of the centers is producing what kind of phenomena
  • Be aware of which part of whatever center is producing the phenomena
  • Be aware of the cycling of the many I's (programs)
  • Not identify with whatever is going on (until one has developed the "Deputy Steward" who then can act in a more conscious manner)
  • Act in a conscious manner
  • Constantly remember the possible influence of 4d STS and be ready to counteract it
  • Keep in mind the STS vs. STO dialectic and strive to polarize your behavior in a way that respects the free will of all involved
At the same time there are things which one should avoid as much as possible, e.g. daydreaming, wishful thinking, internal considering, STS tendencies etc.

Parallel to this of course the everyday comings and goings consume our attention and we get submerged in the mundane, easily forgetting ALL of these things. The day-to-day many times is a struggle in and of itself, independent of the Work.

This is definitely just the crude outline of what we are expected to do if we wish to evolve and I'm by no means complaining, quite the opposite, I'm all up for the challenge since what else is there to strive for in life if not this. I'm looking for advice from people further along on the cycle and maybe someone has some pointers to share.

I find that I can many times throughout the day remember myself and remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing, but in a way I end up thinking about all these concepts instead of implementing them. I'm thinking "ah, so now the emotional center feels like this, and now I'm moving my arm by combining the thought center with the movement center, and now I'm looking over there and now I slipped into a memory for a whole minute and forgot myself, ah and now the I who wants to eat is here, hello!".
My mind is jumping to analyzing the stuff and trying to figure it out instead of just observing. I'm trying to figure out the causes and effects instead of just observing because I feel I'm 'wasting my time' just observing. There is a pressure to do this quickly, which I know is self-defeating, as it is a lifelong process. A lot of that pressure I know is coming from the current state of affairs in the world and I'm thinking there's no time to finish the Work in time because we are running out of it as the masses are slipping ever deeper into the totalitarian psychosis day by day.

I guess this is very elementary pondering, but still I would like to know if this is how all of you felt at some point? That it's just so many different things to keep in mind and if there's no possibility of a mental shortcut, so to speak, one can use to skip all the extra mental chatter which - even though pertaining to the Work at hand - doesn't seem to add anything of value. Or maybe this is just the natural progression of my mind struggling with learning how to work with this system..

Thanks for reading! :)
The aim of the work is to purify and develop your ego/lower self so it can integrate with your higher self. When you are awakened your mind (wisdom), emotion (love) and will power (courage) will all work in proper balance. If you managed to cross the line you will not be thinking with your mind instead with solar plexus connecting to your other consciousness. Once you are in this level you are incorruptible by the dark side, you are peaceful, very flexible, trusting life (no defense/fear), deliberate/sure of your action (self respect), etc. Yes the process take a lot of reincarnations.

Most important thing to make your work successful is strong desire and commitment to return to light otherwise all spiritual information in the world isn't going to work if your ego is blocking it (out of your range of perception). Eye for an eye where you can see things/idea only what you wish to see according to your vibration. Don't start work because you want to avoid/fear suffering instead it will only work if you wish for happiness (c mentioned this). Remember you are responsible for your own creation so if you summon a lesson it is because deep down there is a negativity that is calling suffering as signal for you to work on. The first thing you need to learn is be yourself, ask what you want out of life, is that options available for you, and are you willing to pay for the price. Learn to think for yourself as this process of selective and deliberate choice will help you trust life (instead of what other tell you or wanting their approval). This strengthen your inner core and self respect. Don't repress your mental chatter and emotions as they are trying to tell you your real need if you are willing to listen. Remember change your ideas you change your reality, don't wait for the world to change while you are doing the same thing. Readjust to ideas that is working for you. It will also help if you understand the whole process of the work and has the help of someone to work with (difficult to work alone as you can't see what you don't know), so I will explained briefly the process of the work:

The ego in you resists growth, desires to remain immature, and is burdened with unworkable wrong conclusions and destructive defense mechanisms. Without the wrong-solutions and defenses, a part of you believes itself lost and endangered. To let go of that which seems to you the very protection you seek causes the psyche to resist. If you still find yourself in a state which outwardly resembles the fight against change, this is due to discouragement with yourself, with your apparent relapses, for you do not understand why this occurs. In order to help you a little from the outside toward the inner understanding of the overall picture about yourself, let me suggest an important link which will lead to the necessary insight and freedom.

These are the three main inner mechanism: 1 Main image/paradigm which causes the most important unfulfillment in your life. Because of it you go through repeated disappointments. So we have to deal with the various wrong conclusions and solutions which constitute the main image. 2 Repressed needs, and, in connection with them, repressed emotions, positive and negative. 3 Defense mechanism you have developed in order to obtain what seemed to you a protection

Let us review in brief how an image comes into existence. The childhood hurts and frustrations, which every child experiences at least to some degree, cause unhappiness and discontent. The situation that brings this about leads the child to jump to the erroneous conclusion that every similar situation is bound to bring a similar result. Thus, what was once reality now turns into illusion, because no such generalization can be valid. The generalization freezes into a rigid, inflexible mass in the soul substance that should be fluid and dynamic throughout. This image will later act as a preconceived idea. But the image also always contains the supposed remedy for the hurt. Since the image is unreal, so must be the remedy, which therefore never works. This is all the more disappointing because in reality the very opposite happens to what the “remedy” was supposed to accomplish. It goes without saying that the entire process is unconscious, until you have succeeded in making it conscious.

This predicament results in further negative chain reactions. The defense mechanisms become stronger and stronger in every possible respect. The more this is so, the less is it possible to avoid the hurts that you have unconsciously labored so hard to avoid. And, as long as it is unconscious, you have no way of stopping this destructive process, which is entirely opposed to your own best interests. Your wrong solutions are supposed to bring you the fulfillment without having to take a risk of being hurt or humiliated again. Since this cannot happen, your defenses become stronger and fulfillment becomes even less likely. But you go on repressing your needs, your hurts, and your disappointments. The repeated pattern not only proves the image right, but it also proves that your defenses against it do not work. This increases the original hurt of the experience which brought the image into existence. This is all the more confusing, because a part of the image works.

Example:
a male child has had a strict mother, the child experienced an acute lack of affection, warmth, and understanding and was therefore frustrated. In a situation like this, the image will form that women are ungiving, rejecting, and do not give love. Therefore the child feels apprehension and anxiety toward women when he becomes an adult. This may outwardly be denied, but if the emotions are examined, the mistrust will be found. But since the basic need for the opposite sex, and for warmth, love, and affection cannot really be torn out, he will seek a remedy against the image. As I said before, due to the unreal premise that all women are the way the mother was, the remedy must also be false and ineffective.

Let us further assume that this same mother was quite demanding as far as work in school was concerned. She expected a high standard from the child. And when the child was actually successful, she approved of him and was liberal with her praises. Thus, the child could experience some kind of gratification, provided he struggled hard enough to be successful. This situation will add to the image the following conclusion: “Although women do not give the love and comfort my soul really craves for, I may get the next best thing; I may have some importance by being successful in my work.”

Needless to say, such thoughts are not really uttered, even unconsciously. For in the unconscious of the child there is no clear-cut distinction between receiving love and receiving approval. He has only a vague memory that something favorable came forth when he was ambitious, while nothing favorable happened otherwise. When the approval came, the boy was not consciously aware of something lacking. It was rather an inner climate telling him that what he yearned for he could have to some degree if he made efforts in certain directions. The real need for being loved was already repressed by the time the image came into existence. “I have to be successful in order to be loved.” And: “Approval for my professional work is one and the same as being loved.” Due to such an image such a person will actually be very successful. He will be ambitious and will use all his resources to satisfy the image-claims to have success and receive approval. This image-claim will be granted. But the underlying claim, that approval is tantamount to love, cannot be granted, because here lies the wrong conclusion.

The unconscious aim and claim for gaining love through success cannot be granted because approval and love are not the same. By gaining the one, you do not gain the other. If you do gain love and success, it is due to a logically correct attitude toward both. So this is where the image does not work. Therefore the constantly frustrated needs grow and are again and again repressed, because the personality is not willing to face either the longing and the pain of the unfulfillment, or the erroneous image-conclusion. The unfulfilled need for love, warmth, companionship, union, is contained in the unexpressed claim contained in the main image. Here you can clearly see one link between the main image and the repressed needs.

The repressed need for love is, in itself, a healthy and legitimate need. But the need for approval, at the expense of gaining love, is an unhealthy need. If you concentrate on being successful, on impressing others, on receiving admiration you are bound to pursue the very behavior pattern that will push love away from you. What you need most, but what you are unaware of, what originally caused you to produce your main image, you now reject because of the wrong conclusion you have formed. If the man in the example is loved anyway, a little investigation would prove that the loving person does not love him for the traits that are embedded in the image and that bring him success. She will love him because she senses another quality behind and apart from the traits that are meant to make the image work.

Such a person may be aware of his drive for success. But he is unaware of why this is so important, where it stems from, and what the frustration and need behind it really mean. Therefore each time he reaps success without the unexpressed inner claim for love being met, it is not only a new frustration; it is the same hurt from childhood experienced all over again, but it increases his inner insecurity and inferiority. He originally deduced that if he had been more lovable, his mother would have given him more of what he needed. As a child, he could not evaluate that his mother might have been incapable of feeling or demonstrating love. Now he is incapable of deducing that he himself forfeits love, not because he is unworthy of it, but because his defense against being hurt is to be arrogant, rejecting, superior, and fearful. All these are traits which do not inspire love.

Only by unraveling this entire process can the painful inferiority feeling disappear. It is the feeling of being unlovable that the soul resists facing. He fears that what he will find will indeed be that he is unlovable, and so he represses. The struggle preceding this important breakthrough is very hard because the very means that are supposed to get love and acceptance actually do not bring it. Therefore the unconscious belief in one’s own unworthiness increases, which is even more difficult to face. If you go through the pain of making the confusion and the belief in your unworthiness conscious, you will be relieved to find that it is not you who are unlovable, but the various devices you use for your protection. This recognition is of untold value and will give you incredible strength.
 
But why I'm actually answering you, I was in the same boat as you, because I was a vegetarian for 6 years (my husband since he was 16) and then I came here. At first it was a shock and I resisted with all my might, but the more I read and the more I thought and, above all, felt, the more I was able to accept it... If you are interested, here is my story about the meat... https://cassiopaea.org/forum/threads/meat-secrets-and-a-desperate-housewife.50013/ In the meantime, I have not only reintroduced meat, but also completely banned gluten and I only eat sugar in chocolate :whistle:
Thanks for sharing your thread! I did get some helpful pointers from it relating to my situation. I hope I can make the transition smoothly and I hope my girlfriend takes it as well as your husband. I do have my doubts about that since the emotions she's expressed so far when I've brought this up were... pretty strong... I will have to think about how to approach this situation. I already see a compromise on the horizon; I stop smoking (which she hates) but will start eating meat again.. I will see what will happen..
Using "streamlining" in connection with "the Work" is an interesting metaphor. Streamlining can contain the idea of reducing friction to progress, though there is also the "No pain no gain" saying, so to what extent is streamlining the Work realistic? One can streamline a production line, because all the steps are known, but is that the same with the Work? The steps might be known in general, but for each individual? Maybe?
I think in essence I might be looking to create a certain set of I's that would be like 'alarms' that get triggered when the most unconscious of the I's are taking over. For instance if I'm drifting into a daydream or memory, there would be an I that notices this and says "Okay, you're letting your attention drift in a non-beneficial direction right now, how about bringing your awareness to the present moment again." I don't know if this is a correct interpretation of a 'working I', or if this is essentially how the Deputy Steward is supposed to work, but I'm thinking if I can kind of crystallize a few of these "guard I's" (one that guards against habits, one that guards against wishful thinking, one that guards against expression of negative emotions etc.), they will make the work more efficient for me because they will catch the mechanical I's as soon as they enter center stage, and ideally kick them off the stage directly so that I can focus on more essential aspects of the Work.

If one takes this thread as an example, you ask a question and others add in their perspective which you think about and respond to. In other situations, you might read other people's questions and respond to them if you feel inclined. What we write may not be the best possible answer, but if we are sincere and have helpful intentions, there may still be something objectively useful. As we practice responding, we learn. Also one can read what other people say to a question. I for one enjoyed reading the other responses you got. Often it can be helpful to complement one's understanding by trying to find threads where similar questions have already been dealt with.
I have been making use of the search function and reading a lot of other threads before posting anything new, I know the forum in its entirety is vast and there are a lot of nuggets everywhere. I will keep posting and hopefully I will manage to share a worthwhile nugget for someone else at some point as well :)

The short amount of time I've been a member has already cleared up a lot for me. I've gotten reassurance about a lot of things I've learned in the past and also sufficient shocks to be able to see what lies I was still holding on to.

@Curious Beagle , thanks for your long breakdown of how you view the work. The example you provided has given me some food for thought, as it seems I have that program running, although in reverse. What I mean is that I always felt accepted and loved whatever I did as a kid, but the unintended effect of that in my adult life now seems to be a sense of entitlement, that whatever I do, I am entitled to the respect and love and support of others, and this may have shown in my thread about Sincerely trying to find clarity.

I realize I need to - as anyone else - earn my stripes and not just expect everything will fall into my lap without putting in some effort. To take on real responsibility and accountability for myself, and in this regard, certainly the mundane is a more than sufficient backdrop for me to engage in the Work.
 
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