Session 18 August 2002

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
8-18-02

Laura, Ark, Terry, Jan



Q: (L) Hello.

A: Hello.

Q: (L) And who do we have with us this evening?

A: Xtqf.

Q: (L) Is that a name?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) And where do you transmit through?

A: Cassiopeia.

Q: (L) That's not the way you usually spell it, why did you spell it differently?

A: 3 intent.

Q: (L) 3 intent? (T) Are you from Cassiopaea?

A: Hello. No.

Q: (T) Who are you?

A: Intent.

Q: (T) Your intent?

A: Help u.

Q: (T) But you're not from Cassiopaea?

A: No.

Q: (T) And your name is Xtqf?

A: Pir.

Q: (L) Hmmm strange, never had anything like this. (T) What is Pir?

A: Pirpimmoonikknqe.

Q: (L) Are they changing the energy with Terry sitting?

A: !

Q: (L) Obviously we have to regroup or a different set of energies here.

A: O!

Q: (T) Are you spelling in shorthand or phonetics?

A: !

Q: (T) When you point at ! what does that mean besides !, are you using it for a shorthand for something?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) What kind of shorthand?

A: Lost rhhjlmos.

Q: (T) Have we lost the connection?

A: To ill.

Q: (J) To ill?

A: Yes.

Q: (J) Who is ill?

A: Temporary.

Q: (T) What's temporary, that the channel's ill?

A: Look Hello Look Hello!

Q: (T) You've said Hello now...is Cassiopaea out here somewhere?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) Are they going to talk with us tonight? Are we going to talk with us

tonight?

{The planchette goes flying across the board and comes to rest by Ark and Laura.}

Q: (T) Have you left? How will you help us? Are you still there? Is anyone there?

A: Other.

Q: (T) What other?

A: TQ.

Q: (L) Nothing. (T) Well this is different. (L) Have you been sick? (T) No.

L: Well why are they talking about "to ill," and they said t-o and not t-o-o.

A: Eith1.

Q: (T) Eith?

A: U fight.

Q: (T) We fight what? (L) U fight. (A) Okay, try now, go together, try...

A: Yes.

Q: (T) No we're not fighting we're just making discussion.

A: Terry.

Q: (T) Yes that's me Terry, I fight?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) I fight? I fight what?

A: Cassiopaea.

Q: (T) I fight what?

A: Piighkmor

{Planchette is recognized by Laura and Terri to just be "bouncing" around the board.}

Q: (L) Alright you trade off, see what happens. {Terry removes his hand from planchette.}

Q: (L) Hello, hello, anybody?

A: Give rest to Terry.

Q: (L) What do you mean "Give rest to Terry?"

A: He is detuned due to long absence.

Q: (L) What's this about ill?

A: Ill fitting energy resonance. Terry needs to regroove.

Q: (L) How does Terry regroove? (T) Yes, how do I regroove? (L) How does a person regroove?

A: First by spending time in learning to the same level as others in resonance.

Q: (T) It moves quick yet. (L) So in other words, umm...well I don't know. (A) We are not talking to Cassiopaeans, we are talking to someone unknown.

A: Yes Cassiopaea.

Q: (L) Why was it spelled funny the first time?

A: Lack of resonance.

Q: (T) Well I guess I'm out of resonance. (L) Why is Terry out of resonance?

A: Too long absence and cares of life.

Q: (T) Too much 3rd density?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) It's been a busy summer. (J) There's been a lot happening. (L) Yeah really, I know. Alright so, tell us what to do about it, do you want to know what to do about it? (T) What do we do about it?

A: Interaction is highly desirable. Even if only he is in contact via email.

Q: (T) Email? Do they have email at 6th density? (J) No.

A: Grooving is long process.

Q: {Terry looks at Laura inquiringly} (L) Well ask. Grooving is also a process of asking. (T) So being away too long is a loss of the groove, frequency? (L) I don't think it's a loss. (T) A change? (L) I don't think it's a change, you ask. (T) Well if it's a long process what is required to start it?

A: Not loss, failure to keep with pace of rapid advancement of process of network.

Q: (T) Well, that could be. (L) Well you didn't lose anything. (T) I just haven't gained anything. (J) We haven't been keeping up with the story because we've been focused on other things. We've been away for four years. But I think up until maybe the past whatever, he still kept in touch and kept involved in it. But I think with everything that's been happening he hasn't had time. (L) Well too damn busy. (T) Gotta survive here too.

A: He is holding steady.

Q: (T) Well steady's better than nothing I guess. At least I can be considered steady. (L) That's funny. (T) Can I touch this again? (L) Try it, just keep kicking in. (T) Well I'm asking them if I can touch it.

A: Yes keep signalling.

Q: (T) Hello. Hello. (L) We've been doing a lot of thinking about it and it's a noise to signal thing and then of course...(J) It's almost like tuning in a radio station. (L) Yeah.

A: Cow.

Q: (Laughter) (L) Okay, I've got to find out what cow means. (T) Are you calling me a cow? Moooo (Laughter).

A: Sacred cows.

Q: (T) I'm a sacred cow? (L) Do you have sacred cows? (T) I've got cats, they're sacred cats. We've got cows down the street. What kind of sacred cows? (L) Sacred cows to the group is like when we hang on to certain ideas that we ought to let go of and we're hanging on to assumptions and ideas...(J) They're holding you back...(L) Right. In fact did you see our little refrigerator magnet--No Sacred Cows, NO BULL. (L) Are you saying Terry has sacred cows?

A: Somewhat.

Q: (T) Well doesn't everybody? (L) We don't. Not anymore. We learned how to get rid of them, very painfully. It hurts. (T) They always hurt. And me I always considered myself a sacred cow buster.

A: Terry needs to get in the groove.

Q: (T) How do I get in the groove?

A: Networking works.

Q: (T) Does that mean I need to post on the message board occasionally? (L) I don't know do you read the messages? Even if you don't post. (T) For the most part. I'm not there every day. I try to keep up with what you're writing. That in itself is a lot of work. (L) I can't even do that! I forgot it all already.

A: Attention is a bi-directional signal. It works best in an exchange.

Q: (J) So where just reading the posts doesn't keep the energy up as much as participating, is that what you mean? (A) That's kind of like when you learn something and you do not do exercises, it's not the same. Exercises flow from you to answer, only when you answer it really gets some help processing. If you just read without answering it is different processing. Maybe that's it. (T) It very well could be. How well did the board work with everybody else when they were all here? People who never touched the board before? (L) Well, nobody ever touched it. We just do it and everybody sits around the table. I guess resonance or whatever. We just got used to working it by ourselves. (A) But in the beginning we had trouble. (J) How often is there someone other than just the two of you on the board? (L) Never. We don't anymore, we just don't even do it anymore. (J) So it's always just the two of you? (L) Yeah, that's the resonance I guess. (J) So that it's as much the fact no one else has been involved in it and it's grooved to the two of you... (A) Yes, this is probable. (J)...coupled with the fact that Terry's been away and maybe not as grooved into the energy because of everything that's been going on. (T) Can it be the energy itself has changed? Or that each person brings different energy? (J) Well we know that.

A: Resonance that is pure is a property of co-linearity. It can resonate thereby to a stronger signal of similar purity.

Q: (A) Co-linearity essentially means going in the same direction. (J) Running along the same lines in similarity. (L) So when you become co-linear...(J) You guys are co-linear right now, you have been since you've connected, you've always been co-linear. So that's how it's grooved to your resonance to each other. (L) Yeah. (J) That's how I take that, whether it's right or not, I don't know. (T) Does that mean we're co-linear, with more twists maybe (to Jan)? (J) Well I think we are. (L) Well the one thing that I think happened or is happening with the group because of the interaction is that everybody is becoming more or less co-linear. It's like increasing, it's like everybody is...their all coming to the same...I don't even know how to say it. It's not the same because everybody has their own particular perspective, it's like they contribute to it. It's like a whole bunch of different people in a circle looking at something, and they're all describing their particular perspective of it... (T) Like their describing an elephant. (L)...and the whole elephant is growing out of it. (J) In other words it's building upon everyone's concentration and their particular focus. It's like everyone's bringing their...(L)...And contributing ...(J)...focus to the table and it's all building from that. (L) Yeah, that's the only way I can describe it because everybody has individual perceptions, but what we're learning is something in the middle that's growing out of everybody's contribution. And then of course this person over here, by contributing their view, that person over there is able to have access to it, to know it. (J) Well if it's building as you go along, everyone's perception of it changes as it builds because it's changing. And they are looking at it, and as they're seeing it and keep contributing different things as it changes. (L) Yeah, and then the very act of that exchange links...(T) That makes sense. I've always felt that by having the material out on the net, the more people read it the more they become attuned to it. Those who fight it don't get anywhere. Those who don't do. (L) Well, what do you think about that?

A: Terry has much of value to contribute as well as much to gain.

Q: (T) Okay, what are my sacred cows somewhat?

A: Your opinions.

Q: (T) My opinions are sacred cows? Which opinions, I have too many of them. My opinions on what?

A: Many issues that might be opened to greater awareness by the act of networking with many perspectives. It is important to not close any doors.

Q: (T) True, but then my opinions are extremely outrageous and I offend a lot of people with them. (J) Or are you closing doors. (T) Am I closing doors by not expressing my opinions?

A: Doors are closed by not working with the challenges to opinions of equal "strangeness."

Q: (T) But opinions are opinions and offending someone is a totally different thing and I don't have any interest in offending people with my opinions. (L) I don't think that was the point. You only talk to people who don't have strange opinions. (T) Umm, well I talk to people with really strange opinions that make me look almost normal. (J) It says, "Doors are closed by not working with the challenges to opinions of equal strangeness." (A) Normally the point is that when you have a strong opinion and the opinion clashes with someone else's opinion there's a conflict and the question is: you can say I don't care or you can try to resolve the conflict by analyzing and being open to changing your opinion; not necessarily agreeing with someone else's opinion. But by analyzing the two different things you can make a step to see how changing your opinion in a certain completely new direction is possible. You see, this is black, this is white. Okay, what can we make of this? Well, we may find out that there is a whole spectrum of colors that we can discover a rainbow, you see. Oh my god, huh, a rainbow! (J) When I did not see your white to my black neither of us saw the stuff in between. (L) Well, one of the things we've seen that happens with the group is somebody will have an opinion, I'll have an opinion, anybody can have an opinion, but they'll say we don't really like to talk about opinions too much, you've seen this, you can say you have an opinion and somebody will say 'On what do you base your opinion, explain it.' And usually, in the course of explaining an opinion, they'll say 'Oh, huh, okay let's think about this opinion,' and then everybody will talk about the opinion. And then, in the end, we may still have the same opinion but for a different reason than we had when we started out. Or, we may change it. (A) But I think the main point is probably that people learn that this exchange or this networking is not just the obstruction of difficult discussion, but that it has direct application to their lives. They want to do something like to be free of programming or to see to some internal line or to see the matrix working on everyone of them; to note, to see, to interpret things that happen to them in terms of the general framework and better understand their own place. And then it becomes a practical thing and that's why people learn that being open to what is new, you can notice things that are useful.

[Further discussion]

Q: (T) So are there any particular opinions that you can begin with that can point out that I can work on? (L) Oh Terry you know you're not supposed to ask that, you know better! (laughter)

A: He is trying to fool Mother Cassiopaea. Not today!

Q: (T) Nice try, no cigar! (laughter)

A: No short cuts!

Q: (T) Well I have a lot to work with don't I? I have opinions on everything. (L) Don't we all. (T) Which one...(L) Just start throwing them out there. (T) How do I throw them out there without being offensive? I just try very hard to not be offensive to people...'cause I have no reason...

A: Ask questions!

Q: (A) It's very simple, if I have just opinions and my thing is just to express my opinion to other people it's a signal that I don't want to learn anything. I know all, so how to change? Just suspend all opinion and just be curious and ask questions and see if you can learn. Just do--'I am suspending all opinions. Even if have one, I'm not going to express it.' Because sooner or later if you ask questions people will start asking:'Well, tell us what you think.' Right? 'It's suspicious he is just ask question and he is not giving anything from himself' (laughter). (T) That's good. Okay, do you have anything to...

A: Networking works!!!

Q: (T) Actually since we've been doing the antique shows I've been talking to more people than I have in a long time; people I've never met you know; people just all over the place out there. Boy, some of them have opinions that make me feel good!

A: Are they co-linear?

Q: (L) Co-linear. Co-linear means going in the same direction. (T) In other words, do they have the same opinions I have? (A) No. No. Going in the same direction. (L) You don't have to have the same opinions, but you want to go in the same direction. What are their goals? (T) I don't know, for the most part they're just people I talk to passing through on the shows. I'm only talking to them for a few minutes. (J) There's no co-linearity there. (A) They are not even co-linear in interest; except for commercial. (T) Well, it doesn't hurt to try and express the STO philosophy to them as they pass by; be nice and friendly. (A) Yeah, sure. (T) Show them that the whole world doesn't hate them. (J) Were not quite up to pulling people off the street yet. (T) Do you have any more to say on this?

A: First you must choose your goals. Then you network with others with similar goals to achieve them. What do you want? Graduation or repeating the grade?

Q: (T) Oh well graduation is always the best. (L) Well you know what Gurdjieff said - 'No one can escape alone. You have to have a group and you have to have a plan, and you have to work.' Nobody can do it alone and you have to do it with the help of somebody's who done it before. It's a very important thing he said about that. He said first you have to understand you're in prison and then you have to learn about the prison and you have to learn about how to get out, and you can only learn about that from somebody who's already gotten out. And you can't do it alone because it takes a whole team. (T) To get out? (L) Yeah, that's what he said, and it's so true. Because the minute you start wiggling around in the matrix, it comes down on your head. (T) Well the matrix is programmed to keep us here. And keep us stupid. (L) Yeah. Okay, are we done with you Terry? (T) I think so! But I have a question. What happened to Ark and Laura's computer system this weekend?

A: Mainly it is a psychic signal of impending quantum shift.

Q: (T) Just because the computers went down? Uh, can you expand on that a little bit?

A: Fluidity of reality affects such "hardware" which is sensitive to such flux.

Q: (A) So something is going to shift, reality is fluid, hardware is affected, and all kinds of things happen probably due to the interaction of what is outside us and the hardware. It's hard to find the real prime reason, see. (L) I think what happens sometimes is the reality starts fluxing, that you're psychically aware of it and the psychic energy in your own system then affects those things in your environment that are attuned or sensitive to your psychic energy, and then depending upon your fluxing of your psychic energy it can signal you. I guess, it's like the black cat walking by twice, that would be one way of putting it. (A) I think it's like with this magician, the real magicians like the one you were talking about today, who mix what is called slight of hands with real magic, right? And one helps to other and you can say: Well he isn't showing real magic because it's all tricks. No! Some yes, but some is real magic. But he's mixing them together because, well it works. The real magic doesn't always work. It works once in awhile and you have no full control so you must help with your exercises. It's the same when we interact with our reality. It is fluid when we are in a certain state. And, when it is fluid because of our state, also electrical things are in a certain state. And some of the things that happen are probably because of our interaction. What was the reason? Part of the reason was there somehow something unusual happened, because thousands times you switch and maybe you switched in a different way than always, right? So that's what I think.

A: Chaos is part of the conditions or the creation of a new reality.

Q: (T) There's a lot of reality out there to break down...(L) It's got to break down. (T) It's in the process of breaking down. What is the quantum change that's coming? Quantum shift.

A: This depends on the observer.

Q: (T) Okay that makes sense. Depending how the change affects you will be the way you relate to it, and everybody would relate a little different. Also they nicely side stepped the question. (J) No, there would be no one answer. So, something's coming, that's what the computer's picked up.

{A crashing, slamming sound is heard from the vicinity of the office and weight lifting equipment. All get up to go investigate, but nothing is found to be out of place.}

Q: (T) Did you just open a quantum door for us?

A: Ha ha! Had you going.

Q: (T) Had you going? (J) Yeah, we left the room didn't we? (T) You did that?

A: You did.

Q: (T) We did? I did. (A) Umhmm. (T) I did? How did I do that? (A) I have no idea.

A: Psychic flux.

Q: (T) I hope whatever it was, it wasn't the computer. Ark spent too much time today getting them to work again. (J) All three screens were totally blank but the screen savers, what happened to your screen savers, did they go away?

{A discussion ensued concerning the sound they had heard in a part of the house that was described by Terry as the sound of a door opening and closing.}

A: Just think of all the potential that is untapped.

Q: (T) Well, I promise not to make the weight machine drop again. (J) Did we all do that, or did Terry?

A: Mostly Terry because of his chaotic inner state at the moment.

Q: (T) Okay, I'm in a chaotic state of some kind. (J) Is it because of the caffeine and sugar?

A: Not really. Terry is seeing a path and is in turmoil at the inner awareness of the choices ahead and the potentials. He gave up many goals in the past and there is a great sensation of loss and desire to resume the path.

Q: (T) Okay, that's pretty heavy. (J) Yeah it is.

A: It was when it fell, too!

Q: (T) Okay, humor, mirth. When it fell. I like that. That was good. They've never talked about me like this before. I don't know what to ask. What more do you have, go ahead continue. Keep right on explaining things to me and I'll see if I can come up with some questions. I'm just kind of confused right now! (A) Didn't you have something to say, a question you wanted to ask? (L) Umhmm. Yeah, but I forgot what I was going to ask. Everything fell on the floor and whatever. (A) It was something we were talking about earlier.

(L) I was going to ask if I needed to be any more concerned or observant with this other situation we were discussing earlier, or not?

A: Awareness is good and the understanding that even those who may be fooling themselves and others can be helped by the pretense in some ways.

Q: (L) Well that helps. I kinda got it. I don't want to talk about it on the tape though, you know, what we were talking about earlier. (J) Okay. (L) In other words, if there is some pretending or attempting to fool and as long as are aware, because you know, they can still be helped. (T) Oh, everybody can. (L) Because sometimes people pretend and then they realize that by interacting in the environment into which they have pretended their way, they actually like it and they become more real than they're pretending to be. You know what I mean? (T) Oh yeah, absolutely. (L) So maybe that's what's applicable. (T) That could very well be. I know what you're referring to. I have one more question about the computers problem, okay? (L) Go ahead. (T) Should Ark consider reformatting the other server Windows 2000 on it, just in case something's there also?

A: This problem is soon to be solved in an unusual way.

Q: (T) Oh good, okay, then you don't have to do 2000 on there again. (A) Maybe it works now. (T) Only a thought that came to me only because their blowing through $50 Firewalls and ozline can't tell you who it was that had blown through $50,000 Firewalls too. (A) Yeah. (L) Unusual way...(J) Well maybe on their end and not our end. (T) Wouldn't that be nice. (L) Okay so we don't have a computer problem that we need to worry about. (T) I have some issues to deal with, but that can be done easily. I have a path to follow. (L&J) I don't know if it can be done easy. (T) Well I'm trying to convince myself, I'm thinking I'd much rather reload Windows 2000! Any last words, any other questions? Any advice, thoughts, ideas, directions? Beside "discover."

A: Seek ye first the desire of the heart and all else falls into place.

Q: (T) I like that, that's a very classy little saying right there. That would make a good T-shirt. Any other questions? (L) I don't, you were the one with questions. (A) Oh, yes...well...not really. (T) Anything for Laura?

A: Shaka Zulu is sincere.

Q: (L) That answered my mental question. The only question I could think about...there comes that damn helicopter. (T) That's spooky, that's not Bayflight is it? (L) They masquerade as all kinds of helicopters - police, Bayflight - see what he does. (T) You know, the SWAT team drops down, 'we want to talk to you about $5 million of equipment from Washington.' (L) No, but what flashed in my mind was this question about these...(T) Well you should have a question or two about them. (L) Well we had a session already about asking about them. (T) Was it a reassuring session? That their hearts are in the right place, that they really will do what they say they're going to do? (L) Yeah. (T) They're not part of the opposition? (L) Right. (T) Well that's always good to have that kind of support. (L) They just had to ditch this cultic overtone business. (T&J) Yes. (L) That was only because somebody was influencing them. You have a question? (J) Yes, I have a question. Is there anything that I can do to help Terry?

A: Best to let him lead on this one.

Q: (T) Okay, let me ask one more question, I know everybody's getting tired. With these goals that I gave up was that because I was being an asshole or because I really was doing something good for somebody else when I was giving them up? I'm sorry to use the term, but...

A: Mostly the former with the qualifier that it was mostly fear of loss.

Q: (T) I'm trying to understand what they're saying and put it into perspectives with my life. (L) I don't know, I'm not a mind reader. (T) Was I being STS or STO at the time when I was giving these things up, it sounds like I was being STS. So I was hurting myself, just doing that.

A: Wanting to help others can often be STS if the reason, at deep levels is fear.

Q: (T) Fear of what?

A: Loss.

Q: (T) Hmm, I'll have to ponder on this awhile. (L) Loss of what? (T) That's a good question, loss of what?

A: Respect, love, others opinions, and a big one self image.

Q: I think what they're saying is you gave up things that you wanted to do to do other things that you thought were things that you ought to be doing to help other people, and the reason you did it that way was because you thought that if you didn't sacrifice yourself and your own wants and needs and these things that you wanted to follow and pursue, that other people would have a lesser opinion of you, or they wouldn't love you or they wouldn't like you, or they would think that you were just being selfish and mean, or something like that...(J) Because you would lose your own self image. (L)...and the self image was rescuer, savior, fixer, helper. (T) Well that kind of sums it up doesn't it? (L) Hey, we've all been there. Fear of loss. The big one, loss of your self image. (T) That's funny because I never really had a self image. (L) Well it depends upon what you define as self image. (J) Or maybe a different self image as opposed to a bad self image. (T) That could be too. Okay I can work with that, that's something to work with. Uh, anything for Ark, any words.

A: Goodbye.



End of Session
 
Is this transcript is being reintroduced and for a reason?

Perhaps this is a wakeup call, to members in this network, to
re-groove, and to become more co-linear?

Boy, this is a tough one, how does one know by affirmation
if one is co-linear with the group network and not acting
within one's own cocoon?

In any case, thank you for the wake-up call reminder!
Dan
 
I'm just sticking to my task of getting all the sessions up, each in their own thread for discussion, and trying to get rid of typos, spelling errors, and errors of transcription. The pirated texts suffer from the unfortunate flaws of not having been checked and validated with the notes and tapes.
 
Oh, ok and it makes sense. Having the transcripts here on this
forum allows for members to open questions and discussions for
each session as they appear, just like we have seen with new
transcripts.

I did realize afterwards the there old and new transcripts being
added now - boy! You sure are a busy honey bee or is it the
flapping of the butterflies?

Cheers!
 
dant said:
Perhaps this is a wakeup call, to members in this network, to
re-groove, and to become more co-linear?

It was a wake-up call for me as well. I've been a "lurker" since about 2006 and I have only contributed 22 posts. :-[
 
I have posted many, but it is not its quantity that
counts, rather it is its quality.

For each of us have our burdens to bear, step-by-step,
drop-by-drop, we hope to become co-linear.

So do not despair, as the one who seeks, is not alone.

And thanks for sharing!
 
Is this transcript is being reintroduced and for a reason?

Perhaps this is a wakeup call, to members in this network, to
re-groove, and to become more co-linear?

Boy, this is a tough one, how does one know by affirmation
if one is co-linear with the group network and not acting
within one's own cocoon?

In any case, thank you for the wake-up call reminder!
Dan

Yeah I totally agree Dant I think it is important to contribute and participate in the discussion or regrooving process. Because everyones opinion counts networking and sharing is a big and important part of our awakining in the matrix and as a group we should work together.
 
I've also found this session to be a timely reminder, thank you, Laura, even if it wasn't intended. Lots of food for thought in there.

I've recently been overwhelmed by first of all keeping up with the forum activity, and second how to post anything constructive if I cannot keep up. The 'voice' that always said 'Just do it step by step, and don't worry' has become hardly hearable, and I've been silently worrying whether I can ever keep up with the group (that is, those that do keep up). Don't know, 'keep trying' is the answer I guess.
 
Laura said:
I'm just sticking to my task of getting all the sessions up, each in their own thread for discussion, and trying to get rid of typos, spelling errors, and errors of transcription. The pirated texts suffer from the unfortunate flaws of not having been checked and validated with the notes and tapes.
thank you posting the old one. How many times one read these narcissism, self importance, fear of loss, giving up sacred cows, having the faith in the process for working towards co-linearity and heart's desire, it looks different. Surviving in the STS predatorial world while safeguarding the inner sanctity is always a challenge.
 
Enaid said:
I've also found this session to be a timely reminder, thank you, Laura, even if it wasn't intended. Lots of food for thought in there.
It's like every session posted, contains a timely reminder for me personally.
So even when I feel I have absolutely nothing to contribute with, I still need to network!
Thanks!
 
[quote author=from session]...

Q: (T) Okay, let me ask one more question, I know everybody's getting tired. With these goals that I gave up was that because I was being an -bad person- or because I really was doing something good for somebody else when I was giving them up? I'm sorry to use the term, but...

A: Mostly the former with the qualifier that it was mostly fear of loss.

Q: (T) I'm trying to understand what they're saying and put it into perspectives with my life. (L) I don't know, I'm not a mind reader. (T) Was I being STS or STO at the time when I was giving these things up, it sounds like I was being STS. So I was hurting myself, just doing that.

A: Wanting to help others can often be STS if the reason, at deep levels is fear.

Q: (T) Fear of what?

A: Loss.

Q: (T) Hmm, I'll have to ponder on this awhile. (L) Loss of what? (T) That's a good question, loss of what?

A: Respect, love, others opinions, and a big one self image.

Q: I think what they're saying is you gave up things that you wanted to do to do other things that you thought were things that you ought to be doing to help other people, and the reason you did it that way was because you thought that if you didn't sacrifice yourself and your own wants and needs and these things that you wanted to follow and pursue, that other people would have a lesser opinion of you, or they wouldn't love you or they wouldn't like you, or they would think that you were just being selfish and mean, or something like that...(J) Because you would lose your own self image. (L)...and the self image was rescuer, savior, fixer, helper. (T) Well that kind of sums it up doesn't it?

...[/quote]

This is an issue I have been skating round the edges of, and this just fits perfectly for me right now...it's downright scary to think about. Add to that the temptations and moral dilemmas of General Law and you have the perfect self-made prison cell. Im not surprised only a handful of people have made it out alive this cycle :(
 
Thanks for all your hard work in editing and posting these older sessions, Laura.

Cs said:
A: Seek ye first the desire of the heart and all else falls into place.

For me this really jumped out (against a background of almost a whole session that jumped out!). Trying to cut through all the internal BS to find the 'desire of the heart' is a lifetime's work, not only in the sense of the overall picture, but moment to moment too – always remaining vigilant and fighting the distractions, internal and external. Some people seem to be born with a greater awareness of their heart's desire than others. Or perhaps one should say that some are less scarred than others and so the heart's desire is closer to surface, so to speak.

I wonder if one could say that things have fallen into place in one's life to the degree that one has found and actualised the desire of the heart?
 
Cs said:
A: Seek ye first the desire of the heart and all else falls into place.

This quote also resonates with me. I've posted several times about my worries concerning the activities that I'm doing and their relation with my "thrue will".

And Endymion's words also made a lot of sense to me:
Endymion said:
Some people seem to be born with a greater awareness of their heart's desire than others. Or perhaps one should say that some are less scarred than others and so the heart's desire is closer to surface, so to speak.

I think that fear is a very good explanation for the confusion or lack of real doing in a definite direction, in a direction wich is coherent with those moments of inner clarity, when your feeling and your thinking converge and show you a clear cut direction in life, an ideal to encarnate. I have always the feeling of confusion arousing from the fear of loss that the idea of taking some definite path implies. That's why in the end I do a lot of different things at the same time, without being able to do one thing really well and full time...Thanks Laura for the session. I have to work and watch those fears arising. I also need a stronger force to be born in me that can be undisturbed by the temptations of fear...
 
I concur (with all) that it was a timely reminder --for me as well. And I always feel that even if the sessions transcribed are random, they are in fact moved by a more purposeful force. Unless it is simply that any given session has lots to offer us in terms of food for thought, no matter what/when!
 
Back
Top Bottom