The topic name is a day before yesterday created working-hypothesis of mine.
In the last days I have gone through many emotions and projections which belong to the category of anger and -my- anger leads often to self-hatred and denying of creativity. Well it's a program following me since childhood, to force reality at my will (STS anybody :))
But for better understanding, I try to explain what happened and how I came to this conclusion:
As noted above I have gone through many negative emotions and finally on the last couple of days I couldn't control anymore my blood-sugar, my body needed more and more insulin -injections- (everything had to be increased) where the last weeks/months have been going perfect like a honey-moon phase (very seldom peak test results above 14 mmol/L, a non diabetic human has a blood-sugar level of appr. 5 to 6 mmol/L. Anyway I'm having tooooo long diabetes to be in the so called honeymoon phase, nonetheless it feels like it, through all these diet changes).
And in a situation like this, where I cannot control my own condition anymore I get annoyed and angry, against my body/myself with the almost repeating words: "this cannot be true, how can it be". My state gets altered, when I can describe it in: denying everything around me, reality, creativity, the cosmos and leads finally into a desperation and a condition of self hurting, like: "now I give it to you back, stupid body, who or what do you think you are?".
Later on I realised, that this self-hatred leads to nothing, because I'm blind and not anymore able to read the signs (and I have done it all the years, to deny things, with stubbornness), to adjust accordingly simply what is in front of me.
And after I came to this conclusion and reflected about it in my journal, the test-results turned back to normal and I had to re-adjust my insulin intake again from high to very low again.
Okay, it's just a working hypothesis, that anger can change maybe the insulin resitance or other "body information systems". So far my diet is excluding all gluten and plainly all bad stuff and I'm not aware of having eaten gluten the last days. Another connection could be the EE program, where I have gone something similar over weeks, where also before all test-levels have been perfect and then following weeks of "not understanding why I have now bad test results"// denying the test-results etc. As far as I can remember I had the same reactions and not accepting the things in front of me.
For further examination of past "roller coaster blood-sugar levels" I need my older journals.
Maybe it has been worth reporting it.
In the last days I have gone through many emotions and projections which belong to the category of anger and -my- anger leads often to self-hatred and denying of creativity. Well it's a program following me since childhood, to force reality at my will (STS anybody :))
But for better understanding, I try to explain what happened and how I came to this conclusion:
As noted above I have gone through many negative emotions and finally on the last couple of days I couldn't control anymore my blood-sugar, my body needed more and more insulin -injections- (everything had to be increased) where the last weeks/months have been going perfect like a honey-moon phase (very seldom peak test results above 14 mmol/L, a non diabetic human has a blood-sugar level of appr. 5 to 6 mmol/L. Anyway I'm having tooooo long diabetes to be in the so called honeymoon phase, nonetheless it feels like it, through all these diet changes).
And in a situation like this, where I cannot control my own condition anymore I get annoyed and angry, against my body/myself with the almost repeating words: "this cannot be true, how can it be". My state gets altered, when I can describe it in: denying everything around me, reality, creativity, the cosmos and leads finally into a desperation and a condition of self hurting, like: "now I give it to you back, stupid body, who or what do you think you are?".
Later on I realised, that this self-hatred leads to nothing, because I'm blind and not anymore able to read the signs (and I have done it all the years, to deny things, with stubbornness), to adjust accordingly simply what is in front of me.
And after I came to this conclusion and reflected about it in my journal, the test-results turned back to normal and I had to re-adjust my insulin intake again from high to very low again.
Okay, it's just a working hypothesis, that anger can change maybe the insulin resitance or other "body information systems". So far my diet is excluding all gluten and plainly all bad stuff and I'm not aware of having eaten gluten the last days. Another connection could be the EE program, where I have gone something similar over weeks, where also before all test-levels have been perfect and then following weeks of "not understanding why I have now bad test results"// denying the test-results etc. As far as I can remember I had the same reactions and not accepting the things in front of me.
For further examination of past "roller coaster blood-sugar levels" I need my older journals.
Maybe it has been worth reporting it.
And it's somehow a lucky coincidence that this topic was reopened by "vitovern" and then lead to other responses, because I have been asking myself consciously and (before going to bed) unconsciously over many times, what it is and what is the source of the situations and fluctuations and what I can do about it...![3[1] (2).jpg](/forum/data/attachments/0/550-00e7a9c55a93782c32f6ecb2fd0d7b3f.jpg)